Don't You Know?
by xMinipizzax
Summary: 5 years after graduation and Quinn and Rachel are in a relationship, but not with each other. They both have quality careers, but haven't seen each other since freshman year of college. Random circumstance eventually brings the pair together, leading to awkward drama, tension, and causing the two to make a choice.
1. Chapter 1

**Come on; if I owned Glee it'd clearly include Faberry. I do not own Glee. I do own any typos, my 'b for those.**

**I'm a Faberry shipper, clearly. It's an endgame.**

**I'm not sure how long this story will be, but if enough people like it I imagine this might go to about 25 chapters? I like long stories :)**

**I feel that this story will eventually be rated M, as long as I continue it with enough feedback.**

**Anywho! Enough of this. Enjoy?**

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Chapter 1:

The smell of fresh pancakes penetrated the entire apartment causing waves of warm air to waft around Rachel (who was currently asleep in bed). Jenna was in the kitchen, flipping the cause of the wonderful scent on a pan, and rather tactfully, too. She was a chef after all. She could probably do this in her sleep.

As if on cue, Rachel woke up just as Jenna slid the last pancake on the already tall pile stacked on a plate.

Sitting up in bed, Rachel eagerly smelled what her girlfriend had made for her. Jenna was not only an amazing cook, but an amazing vegan cook. She had her own book and was currently on the cover of some food magazine.

Somehow, she made even pancakes seem like a delicacy.

Rachel looked in the mirror across from the bed and frowned. Her hair was more than a tiny bit frazzled, so she ran her hand through it a few times. When it looked manageable, she stood up, straightening out her shirt and boy shorts.

Jenna heard her wake up, or more appropriately acknowledged what the cease of snoring meant, and had already set the table. She placed more than half of the pancakes on Rachel's plate because damn, the girl could eat.

Rachel plopped down on her usual seat, stomach grumbling.

"I don't think you gave me enough," the brunette said, her brow furrowing.

"Rach," Jenna began, thinking Rachel was bring sarcastic, "you eat a lot, babe."

"Hey, now. I wasn't joking. While it is evident I have a petite stature, I also have a fast metabolism.. And you seem to have an extra pancake or two on your own plate."

With a sneaky grin, Rachel grabbed her fork, but instead of using  
it to eat, she reached across the table and stabbed one of Jenna's pancakes.

In turn, Jenna faked shock and simultaneously feigned indignity. "You've stolen my pancake, you...pancake thief!"

"Well, you know chocolate chip is one of the many things I enjoy with my pancakes," Rachel said, smirking.

"Hmm, yes I do. What else do you enjoy with your pancakes?" Jenna asked, a knowing smile spreading across her lips. Rachel rolled her eyes playfully.

"Well-" She began but was cut off by the sound of a phone call.

"Who calls at this time of morning?" Rachel finished with instead.

""Babe, it's really not that early. I may have let you sleep in a little. It _is_ your day off- Hello?" she replied, answering the phone.

"Mhmm, yeah. Yes. What? Where? Who's the writer? Really? Never heard of her. Oh! I assume it'll be a vegan venue?" There was a pause. "We'll just figure that out later I guess. When is this? Let me check." Jenna said all business-like, grabbing her date book.

It was times like these that Rachel remembered that Jenna had a nice career going for her. When the two had first started dating, Jenna was merely one of many chefs in a restaurant Rachel frequented. However, the two first met each other at a party that Jenna was catering for. Rachel had gone into the kitchen to ask about the food, ever the inquisitor. It was funny how things worked.

"So it's in 2 weeks. This is a little late notice," Jenna said into the phone. "No, no, it's not _too_ late. I can manage. I've put together a larger amount in less time. Amazing. When does she want to meet up to discuss things?" At that, Jenna looked at Rachel, mouthing 'Are we busy?' to which Rachel, mouth full of pancakes, shook her head and waved her hand in a non-committal 'no'.

"Sounds perfect. What's the name of the place? Really? I love it there. Okay, sounds like a plan. Wait- what's her name again? Okay, thanks. Yea, you too." Jenna finished the phone call with a smile, walking back over to the brunette.

Kissing her on the cheek, Jenna spun around then plopped back onto her seat.

Rachel swallowed her last bite and asked "Please, do elaborate on the manifestations of that phone call."

Jenna looked at her plate, noticing it was short another pancake. "I was asked to cater to some party. It's apparently going to be huge. Some writer is celebrating her book being a best seller, or a release, or something like that."

"Really? What book? Who's the author?" Rachel asked curiously. She knew a few authors herself, but also knew some she would _like_ to know.

"I have no clue what the book is called. Crap. Probably should have asked... Anyway, the authors name is Lucy."

"Well, that's what the Internet is for!" Rachel proclaimed, jumping out of her seat to grab her laptop.

She googled "Lucy" and "New best seller" and found a ton of unrelated articles. However, one looked genuine and she clicked the link.

There was no picture, but the article indicated that there was to be a celebration in two weeks for this Lucy character. The article even added the pen name of the author, L. C.

"Well L.C., you better be an amazing author for my girlfriend to cater to you," Rachel said to the screen.

Jenna, who had been standing behind Rachel with her hand on her shoulders, bent down a tad more to kiss her girlfriends neck.

Moving her long hair out of the way, Jenna moved up Rachel's neck, stopping at the jaw.

"You need to finish your breakfast before dessert young lady," Rachel berated.

"I'm too excited to be hungry!"

"Well I'm not!" Rachel said, grabbing Jenna's plate. Jenna sighed, smiling inside. The tiny little girl sure ate a lot.

* * *

"No, no, no. This isn't a Lifetime movie! That means at least _try _to look real- not that over-exaggerated crap you're giving me! An idiot that runs into walls all day would know that what you're giving me is crap!" the short director shouted at the quite handsome young actor.

Quinn rolled her eyes. They had to re-shoot a few scenes before they could completely finish the movie. Her movie. Well, her story at least.

"Hey, lady." Quinn heard right before something soft brushed against her cheek. Quinn smiled, irritation gone.

"Hey, you," Quinn replied, smiling.

Madison walked around to sit on Quinn's lap. "How's my beautiful girlfriend today?" she asked.

"Better now. How's my little actress today?" Quinn replied, tugging the brunette on her lap closer.

"Well," the girl frowned, "I think Kevin is going to explode if Charlie keeps yelling at him."

Charlie was the below average height director, while Kevin was the male lead in the movie currently being filmed.

"Charlie is just stressed because we're behind. We have two weeks until the movie needs to be in theaters, let alone finished."

"I know, but Kevin is doing fine. He's a wonderful actor, very talented. He'll do your movie justice. _We'll_ do your movie justice," Madison charmed.

"Hmm, I don't think I like the fond way you speak of Kevin." Quinn said, nuzzling her lips on Madison's shoulders.

"Oh, is someone jealous?"

"Maybe. I wouldn't be if you two didn't flirt constantly."

"You're the one who told me to! You said it promotes sales," Madison defended, wondering whether or not she should be irritated.

Quinn pulled back, sitting up. "That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Well, you'd have nothing to worry about if you let me show you how much I love you," Madison said lightly, but Quinn sensed the annoyance in her tone. She felt herself tense up.

They hadn't been... intimate... in a few weeks. It wasn't exactly that Quinn didn't want to be, really. She was just busy, or tired. She would come home from a long day of work, exhausted from dealing with Charlie all day.

Madison would always be full of energy. The girl craved the spotlight and always read her lines perfectly. They rarely had to do retakes with her, and when they did, it was usually because someone went out of their way to make the gorgeous actress laugh. They usually succeeded, too, because Madison was quick to smile at a joke. Sometimes it was Quinn herself who ruined the take by making a face at her girlfriend.

Because Madison was so professional, she always finished early and had leftover energy. Quinn never did.

"Maddy..." Quinn began, but Madison cut her off.

"Just think about it. I'm free tonight," Madison hinted.

"Mayb- I can't tonight," Quinn realized, drawing her head back.

"Why not? I know you're not filming tonight. In fact, you have off all night. I checked," Madison said a little too enthusiastically.

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows, further annoying Madison. She wasn't mad, just frustrated; both mentally and sexually. Hell, she was a young woman of 23. She wanted sex. She _needed _sex.

"Because I have prior engagements. I'm meeting with someone today."

"Meeting who?"

"Just someone I was told to meet with about plans," Quinn said, avoiding mentioning the person she was meeting.

Madison huffed, not happy with the deflection.

"Fine." She jumped off of Quinn's lap and walked over to Kevin, who was now walking away from Charlie, filming finished. Upon approaching Kevin, a smile spread across his face and he nodded. The two actors then walked off together, arm in arm.

Quinn felt her irritation grow, and then she sighed again. Sometimes she clicked with Madison and felt extremely happy with her life. Like when they first met. Then other times..

Quinn felt incomplete. As great as Madison was, Quinn felt she would never be enough. Not in that Madison wasn't enough, because Madison was a lot of things.

She would clean, bring Quinn a gift unexpectedly, hug her from behind, listen to Quinn rant, hold her, and do all those other things that came with the dating territory. Quinn usually cooked, but Madison liked to bake. Madison was great to be around drunk, too. She loved to party.

Her physical appearance was not too shabby either. In fact, Quinn had to admit that Madison was downright ethereal. She had brown hair of a lighter shade, green eyes, and she was only an inch shorter than Quinn, so she never had to crane her neck. But sometimes Quinn liked to feel like she was protecting her girlfriend, and though Maddy was thin, something was just always off.

_No, stop_, Quinn thought.

Madison was great. They rarely fought. She put up with Quinn's bullshit. She was great in bed...

Oh god, was she good. Quinn had dated a few girls before, and they'd been fine, but Madison was elite in her field. Granted they'd only ever really gotten down and dirty. Quinn frowned when she recognized that fact. Maybe the problem wasn't Maddy, or even Quinn. Maybe the fact that they had yet to love each other was at fault.

So why didn't Quinn want to be with her? Madison loved her, and she loved Madison.

Right?

_..Do I_? Quinn thought.

She had to love her. There was no reason not to love her. Except for the fact that she ... _no. _Quinn was just being stupid, she decided. Did she intend on spending the rest of her life with Maddy? No, but that didn't mean the outcome was impossible.

Quinn jumped up from her seat, excused herself from Charlie who was shouting orders at people, using some choice names, and left the building.

She was going to go home, meet that woman, then return home later at night, preferably a little intoxicated, and have sex with her girlfriend. 19 days was a long dry spell and she was going to remedy that.

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**I forgot to mention that this is my first Faberry story. Well. Any story, really.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I wrote the first four chapters about a month ago, but I'm in the process of editing them. I really didn't expect much attention, but I got enough alerts to make me smile... therefore I'm going to try to get the four I've written up ASAP. That way if no one likes the story I won't have to keep writing :P**

**I still don't own Glee, :(**

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Chapter 2:

"You know, it's my day off and you're leaving me," Rachel pouted from her sitting position on the bathroom counter. It was a moderately large counter and there was ample room for both Rachel to sit on and Jenna to fix herself up for the night.

"Babe, if you didn't want me to go, I would've postponed a day," Jenna said, looking at herself in the mirror while trying to guide the earring into her ear. It was a dangly gold one and simply refused to meet the tiny hole in her earlobe. She would just give up on it if not for the fact that it matched her blue blouse perfectly.

"No, no. This is a wonderful opportunity," Rachel began. "You're on a magazine cover, you've got a book, and now you're going to be catering a huge party that will surely boost your sales and soon everyone in The City will know your name. Then you'll be some big hot shot chef and people around the world will travel to New York just to taste your exemplary cuis-"

Rachel was cut off of her ramble by Jenna's lips.

"Better?" Jenna asked, smiling.

Rachel just nodded, smiling back. She then grabbed the back of Jenna's neck, pulling her closer so that both arms moved to rope around her neck, closing the space left between them.

Eventually, Jenna ended the second kiss with a light tug back. Her hands still on Rachel's waist, she rested her forehead on Rachel's. "You're going to mess up my hair if you don't move your arms," she teased. In response, Rachel removed her arms and Jenna immediately missed the warmth.

"I'll be home later, probably 10 or 11," she said, stepping back.

"I'll be here. Or maybe I'll go out with Kurt. He's been... lonely," Rachel said sadly, thinking of Kurt.

"Okay. Well, whatever you do, have fun," Jenna said. "See you later, love you." She paused for a second, waiting for the usual response, but Rachel just smiled. She pecked Rachel on the lips before exiting the bedroom.

Rachel heard the sound of Jenna's purse lifting off the kitchen table and then the sound of the door opening and closing. After a few moments, it became clear that Jenna had most definitely left the building.

She released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. She frowned, turning around to look in the mirror she had just seen Jenna's image in.

The new reflection, definitely not Jenna, did not look happy. While her hair looked decidedly flattering, and her make-up was modestly light, her eyes just weren't as emotional as usual. Her spark wasn't capturing. She shook her head, emptying any thoughts out like she usually does before performing. _Am I performing right now, by doing.. this?_

Jumping down from the counter, Rachel glared into the mirror and placed both hands in front of herself. Bracing, she took a deep breath.

"You, Rachel Berry, are going out tonight."

* * *

Quinn wasn't quite sure how to dress for a meet-up at a nice bar with a person she might possibly be hiring. Okay, not possibly- she was absolutely hiring this woman. Quinn had personally been on the receiving end of this woman's catering service. To say that the food she had eaten had been a flavorful explosion in her mouth would be an understatement.

Quinn would even go as far to say that this food was number two on her list of favorite things to eat.

Number one was bacon. _Obviously._

Quinn's mind wandered and she thought, _well maybe my third favorite thing if I include..._

Flustered, she grabbed some black pants, a green blouse, and some heels. Her hair was down, looking nice but casual; similar to her outfit. Or, she hoped anyway. She was never really quite sure whether or not she matched with what she was going for and what she got.

Regardless, she hailed a cab to the bar, tipping the driver a bit. He wasn't too bad as far as NYC cab drivers went and Quinn was in a slightly better mood than earlier.

She hadn't realized she was nervous until she sat at the bar, in a rather comfortable bar chair no less, and found herself waiting. It was currently 7 at night, and she was supposed to meet this person in a few minutes. She looked at the bartender with want taking over her facial features.

Quinn had an idea of what the woman looked like- she had read, bought, and basically memorized her book after all. After having sampled the cuisine at a co-worker's wedding, Quinn had immediately jotted down the name.

The two women were not too different in looks, actually. Both had blonde hair, lighter eyes, and pale skin. Quinn couldn't really tell from the picture, but from what she could see, she imagined they were about the same height. However, this character did seem a little too skinny to be a chef, and Quinn hoped that in her case the camera _subtracted_ ten pounds.

Quinn really couldn't help but notice that the woman was attractive. While her eyes were definitely lighter than Quinn's, they were also incredibly piercing. They were a sharp, possibly even hard, blue, which was nothing like her soft hazel. Quinn only hoped that the woman wouldn't show to have a similar cold, off-putting demeanor.

Quinn really wanted this meeting to go well. She _needed_ it to go well, so that when she got home she was in a good mood. That way she could be in a good mood with Madison, and then everyone would be in a good mood, and the world would live happily ever after. World hunger would end, and blah de blah de blah.

Quinn sighed, thinking back to her fellow blonde to-be caterer. She tried unveiling the image of the caterer in her mind, working with what she memorized from that dumb catalogue.

Not that Quinn had stared at the picture long enough to notice anything besides the general attributes. Blondes weren't her type anyway; especially with blue eyes.

_Speak of the devil_, Quinn thought as the blonde on her mind walked into the bar.

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**So this one was a little shorter, I won't lie. I doubled it though, from what it was originally. The next one is longer, I believe. I figure I'll put that up Sunday. Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Glee, or the movie _Deep Blue Sea_. Though, it'd be totally awesome if I did.**

**This story is slow paced, by the way. The first 5 chapters are all the same day, I wanna say. Maybe even the first 6. Hell, this chapter is basically a 10 minute time-span. But it'll pick up. As long as you people don't hate the story.. o_o**

**I know it's a tad early, but any opinions would be nice to hear? Granted I only have a few reviews right now… but lots of alerts... so... yea.**

**Also, to the three that left reviews... thanks :) You made my day. **

**Now.. I SHALL COMMENCE!**

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Chapter 3:

_Yea, speak of the devil; the ridiculously good-looking devil. _Quinn was caught off guard for a minute by the new blonde's appearance. The caterer was definitely more attractive in real life. It was as if she catered beauty, and not food. Maybe her delectable dishes were a metaphor...

But really, what right does a person who has to cook all day and personally taste the food have to look like _that?_ Quinn could've been straight and she still wouldn't have missed that this other blonde had a great body. She was wearing a blue top and it almost perfectly matched her eyes, which weren't hard at all. _She should have fired that photographer._

But back to the top that hugged this new arrivals body.

Not that Quinn was staring at the blonde's body; she was in a relationship, after all. A committed one. With someone who was not this blonde.

_It's only because I need to get laid_, she thought. That's all.

Hell, Quinn actually caught herself eyeing guys these past few days, on occasion. This was a fact she'd rather not spend too much time thinking about, however, so she looked back to her future business partner.

Already willing to just get this meeting over with so she could go back to Madison and release all the tension that had been building up in her system for weeks, Quinn mentally prepared herself. The mental preparation ended up a complete failure, however, as her mind was suddenly clouded with lots of intimate images and she felt that familiar heat that she hadn't felt in a while.

It really wasn't Quinn's fault, truly.

First she thought about her party, which led to thoughts of food to be included in the party, which led to thoughts of the blonde headed her way. In an attempt to evade those thoughts, Quinn thought of drinks to include at the party. Once alcohol popped into her mind, she debated whether or not becoming entirely intoxicated at her own party was acceptable.

This led her to wonder what would be deemed appropriate, and that _unquestionably_ led to what she could do that would be considered _in_appropriate. Such as taking her girlfriend in the bathroom as guests with full bladders waited in a long line, wondering what was taking so long. Or acting like a child and locking her and Madison in the nearest bedroom. Or just deciding to "Screw it," and push Madison on her piano for all to see.

Or... I digress.

Newly flustered, with more than enough images cluttering her mind, Quinn hadn't noticed the other blonde taking a seat next to her.

The blonde clearly didn't know who Quinn was, as she was looking around the bar as if searching for someone. She seemed to be thinking about something bothersome, Quinn noticed, as her brow was furrowed and her jaw was slightly clenched.

In order to pull off nonchalance Quinn swiped the glass in front of her, sending it sliding to her left, away from her guest.

Fortunately for Quinn, the caterer missed this action.

This gave Quinn reassurance as she turned to her right and said, "You're Jenna, right?"

* * *

**Jenna's POV**

I was confused, conflicted, curious, confounded. Things were complicated, my mind was cluttered. I laughed inwardly as the synonyms filled my head in a steady fashion. Being with Rachel tended to do that to people; not only was the girl a walking dictionary, but she was also a thesaurus.

I had just cause to feel all these emotions, however similar they were. The phrase "I love you" is not uncommon in our relationship; we used to say it all the time. We'd said it for the first time months ago; before the break-up/make-up _and_ after. I think. I knew _I _had said it.

Eight months was not just a long period of time, but a determining one. Sure, after seven months our fighting increased and we took a week long break, but on that seventh day we _both _broke down. Apologizing had taken up most of our evening, while the rest was spent making it up to each other.

Sure, the break-up just a month ago had been... unpleasant, but things had picked up again that night. Or so I thought.

Rachel unhinged me.

I shook my head, knowing that if I voiced my thoughts to Rachel she'd just say I was being paranoid. Maybe she hadn't said "Love you, too" because she was tired. Or just didn't think to say it. She probably had something on her mind. I did notice her eyes were off today after breakfast.

Or, you know, maybe she didn't love me.

It wasn't impossible.

I shook it off again, not wanting these thoughts to affect the meeting that I was just about to walk into. I looked at the front door of the bar and opened it, bracing as if an ocean was going to pour out the moment I breached the territory.

Hey, no judging. I had just watched _Deep Blue Sea_ the other day with Rachel, and there was plenty of water waiting behind doors.

It was Shark Week; I couldn't _not_ watch it. Even though I hate sharks. _Moving on.._.

I smiled remembering her scoffing, "See? This is why I'm a vegan. The shark is just trying to communicate with them. 'Consume my family even though your dietary needs do not require it and I will consume you in return.'"

Luckily for me, no overwhelming amount of water made itself known to my arrival and I stepped inside.

That's when it hit me that I didn't know what this Lucy character looked like. I mean, I had thought about it, but I didn't really let it click that I wouldn't know how to find her. And did she even know what _I_ looked like? Rachel hadn't been able to find a picture, though she was hard-pressed.

I saw an open spot next to a distracted looking, albeit attractive, blonde, and let my eyes wander the perimeter. _What does an author look like?_ I wondered, scanning the faces of those around me.

Rachel called me an author, but it was only a book of recipes along with designs for those recipes. I hadn't actually written a story.

_Rachel._

Just thinking her name made my mind whirl. All my doubts were returning.

She was going out tonight, but what was she doing? I hoped she was indeed hanging out with her friend Kurt, as he _had _been veritably depressed for the last two weeks; something about his boyfriend leaving, or some similar happening.

As I was sitting down, the blonde - who I now noticed was sort of kind of stunning - turned to me and, in a pleasant voice, asked, "You're Jenna, right?"

* * *

**Quinn's POV**

The look of surprise on Jenna's face let me know that A) She did not know what I looked like, and B) She did not expect me to be her meeting partner.

As for not knowing what I looked like, I know my picture is hard to come by. Not many people can put a face to my name when they hear it.

I like to keep my privacy.

"Yes, I am," she says slowly, settling in her seat. "I assume you're Lucy?" She offers a hand.

I nod, but add, "I am Lucy to those who don't know me, but after all this I know we'll be well acquainted, so let's just skip all that. You can call me Quinn," I end lightly smiling.

"Well, nice to meet you, Quinn," Jenna says, returning the smile.

Once I return her light shake we turn towards the bar.

"Ice-breaker drinks?" I ask.

"I was hoping so," came her reply.

"Why don't you pick one out, and I'll just have whatever you get," I offer, testing her. I like to think I can tell a lot about a person from what drink they choose.

Okay, that's bull. I just never know what drink I want. I'm not good with the names or flavors. Madison always handles matters like these. Before her, I'd just get whatever the person I was with got. As picky as I was with most other things, I wasn't picky at all about my drinks.

I didn't really pay attention to what she got us, unsurprisingly, as my mind wandered to what Madison was doing at the moment. I just see clear liquid and assume it's sprite with some kind of kick. Fine by me, I assume.

I take a tentative sip and decide I like it. As far as my analytical skills go, I decide maybe I'll like this Jenna person. She seems nice, and she's nice to look at, too.

What? I don't go so far into detail about the drinks. It's kind of a "If this tastes good, they're okay. If this tastes bad, I'm going to hate them," analysis. It's not some deep, "Oh, the carbonation in this beverage is 33.7% higher than I prefer," crap. I laugh lightly to myself.

Okay. So maybe, _just maybe_, I might have pre-gamed before Jenna arrived. Just to loosen up, lose some stress.

It was only one shot. Just one, I swear.

"So onto business," Jenna said, breaking my thoughts.

"Yes, onto business," I agreed, happy to finally get this going.

* * *

**Sorry for any typos. Hope you liked it? **

**Next chapter... most likely Sunday, but possibly tomorrow.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so here it is. Sunday as promised.**

**I've got most of the next chapter written and it is going to be the longest chapter so far I think. Update Tuesday? But possibly tomorrow. Depends on if I have time before work. I think it's a good one, though :D**

**A little cliff hanger at the end here, but in a good way. **

**Next chapter will focus on Rachel and maybe Madison. It'll kind of clear up some things... I'm hoping.**

**feintidea: I have to allow myself to have a _little_ fun, right? :)**

**Thanks for all the alerts and the reviews. And a few favorites already. Makes me want to write more and plants a big ole smile on my face. **

**I do not own Glee, Mel Gibson, any brand of mayo (you'll see), or Skittles. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 4:

After an hour, or three, of talking, the two blondes had a decent amount of alcohol in their systems and a solid understanding of just how the catering was going to pan out. Granted, after review they'd probably realize that some ideas were simply meant to be spurned, as they were singularly brought on by the alcohol.

Not that the giant fruit-based sculpture of Mel Gibson was unrealistic or anything. Really, how had he made his way into the conversation anyway? Neither were huge fans of his.

After deciding on what food items to include, Jenna found that Quinn did indeed want a mainly vegan menu, with a few exceptions. One exception being "As long as there's a big plate of bacon somewhere, we're set."

Quinn obviously wasn't a vegan, or even a vegetarian, but the party was more for her book turning into a movie than for her, and so it made sense. Also, it was healthier. And delicious.

These were clearly the only answers because no way would Quinn have booked Jenna for any other reasons. It wasn't like she had planned something like this happening before with anyone. No, it was coincidence that Quinn felt like she was having a terrible déjà vu moment.

The whole ordeal excited Jenna, who was oblivious to Quinn's inner turmoil. While her business was indeed flourishing due to her vegan dishes, she was not solely a vegan caterer. She could marinate meat next to the best of them, prepare dairy-filled deserts heartily, and even fry some pleasurable omelets within a few minutes time.

However, whenever she was hired to produce normal, non-vegan  
entrees, Rachel was less likely to visit her. While their time was short together when Jenna was working, she _did_ have to do her job after all, she tried her best to cook for her girlfriend. She couldn't ignore her job simply to whip up some chow for Rachel, though, and they both understood that.

Rachel could cook her own meals, but then she would be alone in her apartment, or Jenna's, and she hated eating alone. That's why Jenna preferred most things to be vegan, it made Rachel more likely to make an appearance and entertain Jenna while she was working.

Nonetheless, sometimes Rachel would just go out to dinner with friends, and that worked out relatively fine, too. Jenna would just amuse herself at work by wondering what Rachel was up to.

These thoughts made Jenna smile because Rachel was _always _on her mind. Especially right now, because it was getting late and Rachel would most likely be waiting for her. Jenna hoped she hadn't already gone to bed, because she really wanted to tell Rachel about the meeting. She and Rachel had talked about all the scenarios that might have happened, and she was ecstatic that one of the less desirable outcomes did not ring true.

Jenna looked at the time on her phone to see just how late it was. "Ah! It's a bit past 10," she vocalized. "Do you mind if I call this a night? I promised my girlfriend I'd be home soon," she said apologetically to a still smiling Quinn.

Quinn had lost track of time as well, though she had warned Madison that she'd be home later than now anyway. Either way, this just meant an earlier time for her and Madison to catch up.

Quinn was so ready for tonight. The alcohol pumping through her veins was not enough to make her sit in a closet and eat mayo straight out of the jar, but it was enough for her to feel determined.

Not that she'd ever eaten mayo out of a jar due to an exorbitant amount of alcohol in her system in the first place.

Okay, so maybe freshman year of college had been an experience for the blonde. Don't judge.

"No, it's no problem at all. I have to get back to my girlfriend, too." Quinn was not shocked when Jenna mentioned a girlfriend. It had been clearly indicated that Jenna was gay in the magazine Quinn had read thoroughly.

Quinn was starting to feel like a stalker, realizing she kept reverting to magazine-induced knowledge.

Jenna, however, had not known Quinn was gay, and thus she reacted to the news. She tilted her head and her eyebrows came closer together. She found herself curious.

"I didn't take you for a skittles kind of gal. How long have you two been dating?"

"See the rainbow, taste the rainbow," Quinn mused, smiling at the expression. She hadn't heard it before, but she had instantly made the connection. "Only six months," she blushed. "We, um, met when I casted her. But don't think I casted her because she..." Quinn trailed off, embarrassed. A few of Quinn's friends hadn't taken to Madison initially because they thought she was just using Quinn for the role.

"Did you favors?" Jenna finished for her, an amused smile framing her face. "Oh, please. I think it's a wonderful story. You'll have to tell me all about how you met, and I'll have to ask you more about her next time we meet. I actually can't believe neither of us mentioned our girlfriends until now, after talking for so long," Jenna rambled. "It really was nice meeting you... Quinn," Jenna said getting up.

"Right back at you, and thanks," Quinn responded. "Oh, hey, Jenna!" she called out, catching the blonde right before she had reached the door.

"Yes?"

"Don't forget to keep that name to yourself, please?" Jenna nodded in acknowledgment and flicked her hand.

Quinn lightly waved goodbye and unlocked her phone to tell her girlfriend she was coming home early. On the other hand (no pun intended), her thumb hovered over the send button on her typed out message before deciding against it. She wanted to surprise her instead.

Leaving the bar, Quinn left a tip and headed out with a genuinely happy smile. Today had been not so bad after all.

* * *

Jenna hummed to herself as she hailed a cab and made her way back to Rachel's apartment. She tried to ignore the hollow feeling in her chest when she thought of it as _Rachel's _apartment and not _their_ apartment.

It had been the duo's, until the split. After that, Rachel had wanted to take things slow again, so Jenna kept the apartment she had been staying at before they were together originally. By chance it was still vacant and Jenna had rented it back no problem.

Jenna understood why Rachel wanted to revert, but it didn't stop the hurting in her chest. She really wished she could take back her actions. Things would've been so much better if she just hadn't brought up the _m_ word.

Seeing the familiar buildings through the cab window alerted Jenna to the fact that she was almost to the apartment. Instead of taking the elevator, she felt the stairs would give her the push she needed. She desired that tiny spike of adrenaline that would help her get over her worries.

Rachel always joked that alcohol made her paranoid, and that she should never experiment with smoking.

It was a good thing that Rachel's apartment was only on the sixth floor. It was a nice amount of stairs, not too much and not too little. It gave Jenna a decent workout as she scrambled up each flight at a light pace.

Sliding her key into place, because at least Rachel had deemed their relationship strong enough for that, Jenna stepped into the apartment expecting some sort of background noise. However, she was met only with silence.

Jenna frowned, figuring her girlfriend must have gone to bed. It was almost ten thirty now, which wasn't too late, but apparently it was late enough.

Walking to the bedroom Jenna was again disappointed to find it empty, bed made and all. She hoped Rachel hadn't gone to Jenna's apartment for the night, and found it unlikely. Rachel preferred her own apartment because it felt like they still lived together. She savored that one comfort.

Confused, and maybe slightly worried, Jenna called Rachel. Her lips turned downwards when she heard Rachel's voice because she knew it was only a recording.

"Hi! You've reached Rachel Barbra Berry, future Broadway starlet! Leave me a message and I _might_ just get back to you," she heard. The tone was, as always, joking and playful. It was impossible to miss the smile in Rachel's voice when she had recorded herself saying that.

Frown remaining in place, Jenna shot Rachel a text, "Where are you? I'm at yours, I'm just gonna shower and go to bed. See you later?"

Sighing, the blonde walked to the bathroom to shower. Finished, she grabbed some loose clothes and crawled to her side of the bed. She checked her phone one last time to see if Rachel ever got back to her.

Auspiciously, her screen glowed with, "Rachel (1) new message(s)"

"Sooirry I missfsedd your call, oiut with Kjurt"

Jenna noted the poor grammar and immediately surmised that Rachel was out drinking. Releasing the breath she'd been holding, she replied, "Be safe," then put her phone down and fell asleep.

* * *

Quinn spoke too soon.

The cab ride home had been peaceful as excitement to see Madison had filled all of Quinn's senses. Paying the driver, exiting the cab, and riding the elevator were all just blurry motions in Quinn's mind.

She hadn't been this excited in a while.

Of course, when Quinn got to her floor of the apartment and stood outside of the door, the noises coming from inside were also excited. Though, primal would be feasible terminology as well.

Pronounced. Protrusive. Powerful. Prominent. Quinn paused her thinking for a second because she hated when she did that; made herself a human alliterative thesaurus. It reminded her of too much. Pain. Purpose. Pity.

Quinn physically shook her head, hoping the thoughts would be forced to leave then.

She turned the key in the door, worried about the sight she'd find, but she really hoped it was not what she was thinking. Having peeked her head inside, she saw no damage to the house. Quinn found it pathetic that she was crestfallen that it _wasn't _some idiot robbing her place, because it meant that her fears might come true.

Quinn walked into the apartment fully, now understanding that the sound was coming from the bedroom.

She recognized a female voice from behind the door, and even the words that the voice was saying.

"Oh, god. Don't stop."

_Ohyouhavegottobekiddingme_, is all that ran through Quinn's head as she dauntlessly walked into the bedroom and flipped the light on.

Her eyes were indeed greeted with the sight of her girlfriend.

Naked.

With a guy.

In her bed.

Yea, Quinn definitely spoke too soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**As I said, possibly Monday :) I thought I had a doctor's app, but I got there and they told me that it was actually tomorrow... so... I couldn't go back to sleep. Hence why I powered this out. Thank my doctors for writing the wrong date.**

**It's all Rachel/Kurt/Maddy/Kevin. No Quinn or Jenna, really. Sorry if that is not what you wanted. **

**This is 4,000+ words though, so I figured that that makes up for it? Yes, no?**

**Next update tomorrow or Wednesday; I never know. I get distracted reading other fics sometimes. Anywho! **

**I do not own Glee.**

* * *

Chapter 5:

Rachel stood stock still, tensing into Kurt. She felt his stiff posture through her back and voiced her thoughts.

"Okay, this was a bad idea. A bad, bad idea," she said.

"I'm inclined to agree," Kurt replied, and was fully prepared to turn around and go back to Rachel's apartment.

"Yet, that's what makes it such a great idea! We need to get you back on the prowl. On your A game. Running the field. Paddling the boat. Into the pond," Rachel added.

With an evil smirk Rachel even had the audacity to say, "Or, you know, instead of a boat we can find somebody who's into that." The wink at the end was the cherry on top, and Kurt flushed with embarrassment.

"When did you turn into Santana?" Kurt grumbled. This only encouraged Rachel's smirk to grow.

"Puh-lease. She would have been much more graphic," Rachel retorted.

Realizing their side conversation had left them standing awkwardly outside the bar, Rachel focused her thoughts.

Rachel's reason for not wanting to go in was most likely the complete opposite of his. Kurt kind of comprehended her hesitancy to go in, but was not fully aware of it. He was too focused on his own worries at the moment.

"You just made up most of those anyway," he rolled his eyes. "I can't. Go in, I mean. I'm not ready."

"I rather enjoyed your need to clarify. What did you think I'd think you meant? That you're not ready to... paddle?" Rachel really enjoyed that squirming thing he was doing. She forgot how little the boy had changed and found it endearing.

"Rachel," Kurt scolded. "I'm serious! What if he's here? What if he's with another guy? Or worse, what if he's with a bunch of guys who all want a piece of him and I have to watch fanboys clambering over furniture simply to catch a mere glimpse of him?" Kurt worried.

Upon hearing the boy's distressed tone, his friend sobered up, but she still laughed lightly so as not to offend Kurt for what she was about to say.

"Don't get me wrong, he's a good looking guy - I mean I've made out with him myself - but he's not that good looking, Kurt," she said, trying to comfort him.

After he huffed, Rachel continued, "Now, it's time to go in!" She maneuvered around his body and pushed him inside. Fortunately there was no line this early, so the whole scene wasn't being taken in by wandering ears and eyes.

This was the first time Rachel had been to this particular gay bar since she started dating Jenna for the second time. It wasn't really Jenna's 'scene'. Rachel couldn't really begrudge her for it though, because it hadn't been Rachel's either. Not until she had started dating Jill (now her ex, obviously).

That didn't take away her hopes that she would one day convert Jenna into the gay bar-loving lesbian that Rachel knew was deep down inside her. Jenna would occasionally go to bars for business meetings that weren't too strict, but otherwise she avoided them.

Rachel (oppositely) loved them all, and her excitement over them was enough to cover Jenna's lack thereof. Again, Rachel was particularly fond of this one, though, and really wanted to just get the night started. Rachel needed a big dose of gaybarhaving fun.

When her and Jenna had split for that week about a month ago, Rachel had been to the bar every night. She had met a few friends - friends, random hook-ups, same thing - gotten sufficiently intoxicated, and then she just might have participated in regrettable activities with said friends.

Not that she actually regretted her actions, because she most definitely did not. She got to cross a few things off her bucket list that week, such as 'Have a threesome', and 'Make-out with a drag queen'.

The latter had been an experience, to say the least. The threesome didn't live up to the brunette's expectations, however. She decided she preferred one on one contact after that.

She also woke up the next morning with a brain-splitting headache, but the feeling of accomplishment was greater so it was an overall win.

In a complete 180 degree difference, Kurt was a regular attendee of gay bars. Well, before Blaine broke it off he was, anyway. The two would go out to the bar at least once a week, drink enough to have fun but no more, and would eventually leave together.

That's why Kurt was afraid of Blaine being here. He hadn't talked to Blaine at all throughout the month and thus didn't know anything the other boy was up to. He wasn't quite sure if he could handle seeing Blaine with another guy. It was, as he said, too soon. Kurt would probably freak out, make an ugly scene, and end up crying into Rachel's shoulder all night.

The worst part of the whole situation was that Blaine hadn't even given Kurt an explanation. He just said "Kurt, I'm... leaving you. I'm sorry, but I have to go," and then he left their shared apartment, ignoring Kurt's pleading for him to stay and talk.

It was all real cryptic if you asked Kurt; annoyingly so, because Blaine had looked just as devastated as Kurt. Kurt had seen the struggle inside Blaine's eyes, and the way he had forced his words to be short, succinct.

He had tried calling Blaine but his cell was disconnected, and his parents had no idea that anything was awry. Absolutely no one could contact the younger man, and while Kurt was worried, he knew that it was Blaine's own doing.

Kurt had no idea what to think of the situation as a whole, though. Hence why Rachel decided he needed to forget for the night. He was struggling to cope, not knowing if he should wait for Blaine to come back from some daring feat with thousands of apologies on his lips or just move on.

It was hard to manage the second option as Blaine was Kurt's first and only boyfriend. He couldn't just release his first love like he was nothing.

Rachel was also unsure of what was going on, but she did know that Blaine probably wouldn't be making an appearance in Kurt's life anytime soon. Right now he needed friendship, music, dancing, and a lot of alcohol to numb things up. All of these necessities were graciously supplied by the bar.

Now, the only fear in Rachel's mind was seeing a past 'friend'. She could only pray that wouldn't be the case as she forced her friend through the doors.

* * *

Kevin was a guy of average intelligence and above average looks. He even had a nice career ahead of him. While he wasn't a perfect actor, he could still get the job done. Plus, he had charm packed by the megavolts, and it rivaled that of a five year old girl pouting for candy. Which, come on, everyone knows is hard to resist; hence why putting that charm on a 27 year old man was just dastardly. It simply wasn't fair.

Kevin's features consisted of dark blonde hair, sparkling white teeth, dazzlingly bright green eyes, and golden skin. Really, he was a beautiful man. No other words could describe him.

He was too... smooth to be considered handsome. His face was not chiseled, nor were his muscles bulging pieces of meat, and that made him all the more alluring to most women. And hey, even some men. Not that men were his style, but still.

His face had a nice - perfect - bone structure, and it was covered by soft, perfect skin. The man didn't even need to shave- he just didn't grow facial hair. He was seriously the epitome of female desire.

It was ridiculously unfair how easy on the eyes he was, and he knew it. He couldn't say he never took advantage of it, but he at least wasn't a complete douchebag. For the most part, anyway; he had his moments.

Yet, through all this hotness, Madison felt little more than friendship for the guy. Though he had flirted with her often enough, and had even bought her flowers on a few occasions, she knew she didn't harbor any romantic feelings for him.

Quinn had suggested that Madison flirt with Kevin in public to gather interest, but it was only ever friendly banter in the end. Though there was that one time when he had called her beautiful and had tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and Madison had practically felt her heart skip a beat.

She blamed it on vulnerability though. That was a week and a half ago, about a week after the dry spell started. And while ten days isn't an awful amount, she and Quinn had formerly gone at it like rabbits. Seriously, like two days was comparative to the Sahara.

Madison appreciated that Quinn was okay with her having to flirt with Kevin, but sometimes she knew he took it too far. Fortunately for her and Kevin's health, Quinn knew nothing of Kevin's antics. Madison made sure of that. He had admitted that he truly liked her, was interested in her, but she had gently let him know that she did not return his feelings. Also, she had shown irritation at him because he knew she was already in a relationship.

Had it been someone Madison was even slightly interested in, she would have told her girlfriend. However, she just didn't feel anything except platonic feelings for the guy. Though there was always sex appeal.

Anyway, eventually he had backed off, and Madison was thankful for that. She was frustrated enough at herself over her sex life, so she didn't need the liquid sex that was Kevin constantly trying to make a move.

And yet, she found herself too many shots deep to care about any of that, and her ass was currently grinding into the previously mentioned male hips. Kevin was just as alcohol-fueled as she was, and neither really acknowledged that what was happening was not okay.

The music played loudly in the background and that only enhanced the pair's movements. They couldn't hear each other, so they replaced their sense of sound with touch. They would have been talking a _lot_ if not for the music.

Kevin's hands roamed from Madison's hips to her ribs and then back, pulling her closer. Her arms stayed loose around his neck, but she pushed her hips closer to his, causing them both to moan at the contact.

Feeling that familiar fire burn in her body, Madison turned around to face her dancing partner. She looked into his eyes and couldn't help but notice how dark they were. They reminded her of Quinn's eyes and right there, at that moment, Madison knew that she was going to make a mistake.

A _huge_ mistake.

But, for right now, she was going to have fun and enjoy the moment. Catching Kevin's lips with her own, Madison felt his hands roam lower. First they crawled backwards to rest on her lower back, but then they continued their exploration and found themselves cupping Madison's ass, lifting her ever closer.

She was smaller than him by a long shot, though not an awkward amount, and they both felt comfortable this close to each other. Madison admitted that the man knew how to kiss; though kissing a guy was on a whole different spectrum than kissing girls.

Madison preferred girls, but Kevin was enough to make her forget that at the moment. And that's all she wanted for tonight - to forget. Though, she hadn't exactly planned for this to happen.

She just wanted to feel... wanted. Quinn wouldn't freaking touch her, no matter how much Madison tried to initiate it. She was always too tired, too busy. Well, Quinn was 23 and Madison had recently turned 22, and they should both have healthy sex drives. It was only normal!

Sure, Madison was really young for her career to already be kicking off, but that only made it better. She was a damn good actress, and she knew it. So with talent, looks - even if she did say so herself - and an awesome personality, why didn't Quinn want her?

Madison was feeling less desirable every day. Then she had finally found the perfect opportunity- Quinn and Madison had both had the night off; until Quinn said she had plans to meet up with some person, that is. Madison knew it was business, but that didn't prevent the spike of envy she felt towards whoever had Quinn's time and attention. Especially since her own girlfriend didn't.

All Maddy wanted was to wake up in Quinn's arms, preferably naked, like old times. To feel loved. But maybe the flame had died out, because Quinn had been presented with the opportunity to be with Madison numerous times in the last week alone.

Seriously, the poor girl felt pathetic when she had resorted to walking around the house naked. And she had felt particularly worse when Quinn didn't even notice.

When Quinn had plopped into bed without showering, Maddy intended on making it happen. Her plans were thwarted when she crawled next to Quinn in bed only to find her asleep.

So the tongue inside her mouth was not Quinn's. The hands on her rear end? Also not Quinn's. But at this point Madison was so lost in the feeling of touch that she didn't really notice.

That's why when she found herself hailing a cab, clambering up staircases, roughly shoving a key in the slot, and eventually lying naked in her bed, she was slightly surprised.

She didn't really remember getting here, and why had they gone to her apartment anyway? Madison preferred other people's apartments. Easier to call it a one night stand and leave in the morning.

It didn't really matter at this point though, because Kevin's lips were currently on her neck and were moving south at a rapid pace. Madison found herself at a pleasurable crossroad, finally reaching levels of peace she hadn't felt in 19 days.

"Oh god, don't stop," she heard come out of her mouth. Kevin was taking his time and it was painfully enticing. Madison wasn't sure what she wanted more, the teasing or the release.

She had missed the sound of the door opening, but it was hard not to notice the light turning on. Her first thought was actually _wow, my orgasm just made the light turn on_.

Then sense hit her as Kevin joined her in the land of release and she looked over to where the bedroom door was.

Which happened to be where Quinn was standing, face void of any emotion.

Before Madison could even finish saying, "Oh, shit," Quinn had closed the door and was gone.

Kevin, still regaining composure, was oblivious at first. "Who was that?" he asked.

Madison pushed the weight that was Kevin off of her, sitting up in bed. She ran her hands through her hair, the words _stupidstupidstupid _running over and over through her head.

"It was...- You need to go. Now," she said, leaving no room for argument. He only nodded sullenly, realization that it could only have been Quinn hitting him.

Suddenly he sobered up and he was afraid of what awaited him outside the bedroom. Quickly dressing, he walked to the door but turned around when his hand touched the doorknob.

"Maddy-" he began but was cut off.

"Please Kevin, just go," she said, hand raised in between them.

With one last nod Kevin opened the door and walked out of the bedroom. He didn't see Quinn anywhere, thank the gods. Kevin wasn't a religious guy, but he thought if he could escape Quinn's wrath for the night he might just convert.

Prayers answered, Kevin took the elevator down, not sure he could handle stairs right now in his current state.

Hailing a cab, Kevin could only feel bad about leaving Madison to face Quinn. It was his fault that this all happened, too. But it was too late to do anything, as he had left like a coward. Kevin sulked in the backseat the whole ride there.

* * *

"Raaaachel, baby," a female voice drawled. Rachel supposed it was meant to be sexy, so she smirked as she turned around on her stool.

Up until now Rachel had avoided her previous flings, and she figured after two hours of luck she had been overdue for this.

"Jess," she greeted.

"What brings you here today, pretty girl?" Jess asked, green eyes sparkling. Her hand had found its way to Rachel's leg, right near the hem of her dress.

Plucking Jess's hand off her thigh, Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Not the plan of hooking up, _baby_," she responded. She felt playful after a few drinks, but definitely not enough to let Jess put hands on her.

"Awww, that's no fun. Who's got you all monogamous and shit?" Jess whined, pouting. It would've been somewhat cute if she wasn't decidedly drunk.

Rachel was irritated by these words- no one _had_ her exclusive, she _chose_ to be. She _chose _to care for Jenna. Wait... No. That made it sound forced. No, she chose to act on her feelings for Jenna. Yea. That's it.

Frowning, Rachel just stared at Jess. "I'm still with Jenna. Well, I mean I'm back with her."

"Jenna... Jess... similar enough. We can pretend for the night if you want, I don't mind," Jess winked.

Rachel laughed at this, rolling her eyes. If she had to run into any flings, she was glad it was Jess. She was an actual friend at one point, and had only distanced herself from Rachel when she stopped coming to the bar. Their schedules were too busy and clashed too much to continue anything outside of the bar. Or bedroom.

Jess smiled with Rachel, no longing actually flirting. She took the open seat next to the smaller girl and ordered a drink.

"Sooooooo, this the same Jenna? As in... 7 months ago? That's a ridiculously long time," Jess muses. She was never one to settle down, unless it was on some kind of furniture with a hot chick she had picked up earlier.

Weirdly uncomfortable with the question, Rachel shifts in her seat. "Yea, same one."

"When did you get back together? If I recall just a month ago we were knockin' boots," Jess says while taking a sip of her water. She decided to stop the intake of alcohol for a bit.

"I don't recall either of us wearing boots," Rachel smirks. "The week after that. It was a huge ordeal," she adds.

"Well, I missed you. I mean since you stopped coming here. Girls got you on a leash, I guess," Jess says genuinely. She really means it, and just as a friend. Rachel can hear the sincerity and it makes the smile on her face grow.

Taking a sip of her mixed drink, she absorbs the last part of what Jess said. "No, no, no. Jenna hasn't banned me from coming. She just doesn't... like to. And what's the point in coming to dance and drink if she's not here? I'd wake up hung over and she'd be all disgruntled and whatnot."

"Friends are allowed to dance with each other at a club," Jess remarks. "And why are you here tonight, you didn't answer?" Somehow talking to Rachel has sobered her up, and she changes her mind about the water. She orders two shots to get back on track.

"I'm here with Kurt," she responds, pointing to some guy out dancing. "While he was hesitant about coming out tonight, a few drinks and he was set."

Jess hums in satisfaction. "In that case, dance with me," she says. This elicits a thorough eyebrow furrow from Rachel.

"Just as friends, scouts honor," she says, raising her hand in the code.

"I'm pretty sure being gay excludes your purity or something, and thus renders that promise invalid," Rachel scoffs.

"Well... That's dumb. Psh, I wasn't a girl scout anyway. Too gay for me, and that's saying something. Here, this is yours. Let's go," Jess replied passing Rachel one of her shots. The brunette eyes it warily before sighing in acceptance.

"To friendship?" she asks lamely. Jess just chuckles and rolls her eyes.

"To friends," they click their drinks being sure not to spill. After downing the shot, Rachel wrinkles her nose and returns to her own drink. Downing that quickly as well, she turns back to Jess with her hand in the air in offering.

"Let's dance."

Jess immediately grabs her hand and drags her to the dance floor. She lightly puts her hands on Rachel's waist, as if asking for permission. In answer, Rachel ropes her arms loosely around the other girl's neck.

Jess has her dark blonde hair in a loose ponytail and it's at the length where it keeps rubbing against each of Rachel's hands. The slight tickle is welcome, and Rachel finds herself smiling.

As the music gets faster and the alcohol takes its affect, Rachel finds herself in more and more provocative positions until she swears her chest is buzzing.

"Rach? Are you vibrating?" she hears whispered into her ear. Jess's breathe tickles.

Well, if Jess noticed then it was probably true. Wait. Buzzing. In her dress. Her phone! By the time Rachel realizes this, the phone has long past stopped. She pulls away from Jess to reach down the front of her dress.

"Hot," Jess said, licking her lips.

Rachel slaps her friend playfully on the shoulder. She looks at her phone, seeing she has a missed call and text from Jenna. Was it really only 11? Rachel figured she had another hour left in her.

She replied to Jenna's worried text by telling her she took Kurt out to a bar. Even if Kurt had disappeared into the crowd.

After finding out that no one had seen Blaine in a while, Kurt had relaxed. There was little chance his ex would make an appearance tonight of all nights.

Rachel tucked her phone back into her dress and went back to dancing with Jess, glad no one had bumped her phone out her hands. She didn't know if she would've had the coordination to find it.

* * *

After hours of dancing, Kurt didn't know where Rachel had gone off to. Upon panicking for a solid thirty minutes, a few friends of Kurt greeted him and convinced him to dance. He hadn't had much alcohol, but he had enough to loosen up.

He kept his dancing clean, not so daring, and was having fun. It was the first time since Blaine left that he didn't feel his chest constricting. He could breathe. It felt... nice.

Eventually, Kurt found his way back to the bar and was relieved to see Rachel join him mere moments later. She looked flushed and he assumed she had been dancing, too.

"Kuuurrttt," she drawled. He smiled at her in her drunken state. The two hadn't hung out in a while, and he forgot how endearing the girl could be. She giggled at nothing.

"Ready to go, Rach? It's past midnight," Kurt said.

The tiny girl's eyes bugged out. "An hour can pass by that fast? Woahh..." Her focus suddenly shifted to staring at a wall.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt dragged his friend off the stool and outside. Fortunately she put up very little resistance.

Hailing a cab, he gave the driver Rachel's address because he didn't like being alone in his apartment. It reminded him that he was, indeed, alone. Plus, Rachel had previously told him to spend the night with her. He had joked, "At least buy me dinner, first!"

Getting to the apartment took longer than it should have because Rachel thought it funny to press every button on the elevator door. So they went up six levels, stopping at each and every one.

"Rachel, if you lived on a higher level floor, I would not find your antics funny in the least bit," the boy said.

"Oh, Kurt. You're like a doll. Is that why Sue always called you Porcelain? I think so. You're all... translucent and..." she trailed off, finding a spot on the wall that was more interesting.

Kurt bit back a smile and guided Rachel to her apartment. One they were in, Rachel went to use the bathroom. When she had finished, Kurt used it himself before plopping down on the couch. Rachel wished him goodnight, kissing him on his cheek.

Making her way to the bedroom, Rachel shimmied out of her dress and laid down in her bra and panties not bothering to cover herself further. She was too warm for clothes.

The lyrics "I'm too sexy for my shirt" popped into her mind and she giggled again. Crawling into bed, she pulled a thin sheet over herself. She looked over to see Jenna peacefully sleeping.

Sighing contentedly, Rachel closed her eyes fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

**How'd you guys like it? Thanks for all the alerts :). Seriously, filling up my mailbox.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter focuses on Quinn/Madison, but at the end there's a little bit of Rachel/Kurt/Jenna.**

**Kuma Kuma: Thank you for recognizing that! There are some stories that are _so_ good out there, and for me the only thing that ruins them is the lack of truth behind the actions of a character. I'm trying to keep this story as close to the actual storyline of Glee, minus the whole OC characters. But really, I don't want to make Madison a jerk. Quinn's not stupid enough to be with an idiot (unlike Rachel). *cough* Finn.**

**MsChloeMA: You're toatz motivating me. :P And just because, I've decided to follow through with your request and from now on my goal is at least 4,000 words.**

**I do not own glee, blah blah blah.**

**After this chapter things will start to pick up. I know it's incredibly slow paced right now, but I really wanted to set a firm background with understanding. Within the next few updates two weeks will pass and Quinn's party will be here before you know it :) **

**OH! Also, I've changed the rating to M just to be safe.**

* * *

Chapter 6:

Quinn had done a lot of crappy things in her life; she had been unnecessarily cruel to people in high school, she had cheated on her boyfriend, she had gotten pregnant while cheating on her boyfriend, she had given her daughter away only to try and steal her back, and she had turned away the one girl who had tried to help her through everything. She had even been said girls personal tormentor for all of high school, neglecting the end of senior year. However, throughout all this, Quinn had formed a new platform for the person she wanted to be by the time graduation had rolled around.

Not only had she left high school having found friendship in the most unlikely of people, but she subsequently found forgiveness as well. She even took it upon herself _to_ forgive. Though her relationship with her mother hadn't been in the best shape upon leaving, it had been on the mend. Quinn had felt comforted by her mother's presence in her life, even if it was a little late.

Then Quinn had gone and made more than enough mistakes in college as well, though she hadn't reverted back to her high school antics. No, her mistakes were purely innocent this time around.

Sure, Yale had been great that first year, but Quinn had found herself feeling trapped. She had developed a certain love for her acting classes, and had even taken up some high quality writing classes. She figured in order to act out the emotions she was given, she should be able to write them first. For how can one adequately act on an emotion they cannot fully understand in text?

As the school year had progressed, Quinn realized that she was really only happy in those artsy classes. Rachel, unsurprisingly, had supported Quinn to no end over her confusion. Constant reminders of "You can do anything you want," and "I'm sure you will excel at anything you are determined to achieve," fell from her best friends lips on an almost daily basis.

Because that's what Rachel had been to Quinn, her best friend. Between the trips one of them would make to visit the other, the two would text or call whenever they found a spare moment. Quinn found Rachel's rambling comforting instead of a nuisance, as it reminded her of high school and how much they had changed for the better. Most conversations involved Rachel doing just that - telling Quinn all about the off-off Broadway shows, and even a few off-Broadway shows that she had made it into along with any other information Rachel could manage to squeeze into their conversation. Most of her musicals were short-lived, but that didn't mean that they meant any less to Rachel.

Quinn had loved hearing about how Rachel's career was going because she had always known that Rachel was going places in life. Which is why she herself felt a pull towards writing; she felt that singing to Rachel was like writing to herself. She wanted to write something, a story, that evoked the emotions that Rachel brought out of Quinn. The very same emotions that Quinn had suppressed her entire life, the ones that threatened to ruin her all throughout high school. Her wish to be different, but knowing that if she were, she wouldn't be a _Fabray _and that simply wouldn't do. Well, not then. Not at the time.

She wanted to write about making mistakes, learning, growing. She wanted to write about struggling, because lord knows everyone struggles. She wanted to write something with meaning, and so one day after talking to Rachel over the phone about some guy that wouldn't leave the brunette alone, Quinn picked up a pen and an empty notebook and started writing. The words that had come out of Rachel's mouth had affected the blonde more than either girl could ever know. The pen seemed to have formed a connection from Quinn's brain to the paper. It was like water, a pipe, and a bucket. Something just clicked and information flooded like a faucet turned on high.

Quinn had sat on her bed for hours just scribbling away, filling out pages and pages of paper. She'd occasionally cross out a few lines here or there, but that only mildly hindered her process. The hours continued to tick by until she noticed that she no longer needed the bedside lamp because the sun had risen. Shocked, the blonde had dropped the pen and looked down at the notebook. Previously empty, the notebook was then covered in letters, words, sentences. Half of the book was filled with everything Quinn had ever wanted to say. Spent, Quinn had started falling backwards on her bed, her hips transforming from perpendicular to a parallel, eyes closing. She was unconscious before she even hit the pillow, her dreams filled with spiraling blues and zigzagging violets.

That had been the day Quinn had started writing the book that would eventually become a movie; the movie that she would only allow rights for if jurisdiction over how everything went was relinquished to her. She had wanted the final approval over any decision that held any sway in how the movie would turn out. It just so happened that casting was included in this category.

Essentially, that night spent writing the beginning of her story was the night she had forged her fate to meet Madison.

So here Quinn was, sitting in the kitchen of her apartment sipping from a mug of hot chocolate. She ignored the fact that it was still too hot to drink, provoking her to scald her tongue a few times. She usually hated the feeling that was left in her mouth for the week after, but she needed the pain, however slight it was. She had just caught Madison cheating on her, with a guy no less, and was more than willing to sacrifice a few taste buds if it kept her placated. Though, Quinn would've actually been more offended if it had been a girl, so she figured it was better that way anyway.

Taking away from that point, it did make it worse that it was Kevin. After Quinn had gone on for hours about how he and Maddy needed to be seen in public, Madison arguing all the while, here they were fucking in private. They didn't seem to have to have a problem being in private at all.

Quinn only had two questions for her girlfriend, and so she waited patiently on a stool. _Why? _And _How long? _She was sitting at the kitchen's island, drawing patterns on the black marble, and was facing the entrance of the kitchen while she continued to consume her beverage. She had picked out hot chocolate for a reason - it calmed her down the most.

She had heard the muffled voices of the two... _lovers_, Quinn's supposed she could call them. They were trying to be quiet, but Quinn managed to hear the words, "Just go."

She heard Kevin leaving and thought that just maybe she'd heard a sigh of relief as well. She could have imagined it, but she hoped it had been from Kevin out of relief of the blonde not coming after him in a bloody rage. Thinking of his panic was a small comfort in this situation and Quinn decided to revel in it. Whatever this 'situation' was, because it surely wasn't just some Italian meathead.

Quinn wasn't going to blow up, get angry, cry, or even react to anything right off the bat. Back to mistakes, Quinn had long since learned that she should listen to the whole story before fuming. Plus, she herself had cheated once upon a time. Though there was never any reason to justify cheating, Quinn hoped to understand Madison's reasoning at least.

That's why she was glad the kitchen was to the left of the apartment's entrance while the bedroom was to the right. Quinn wasn't sure she would be able to keep her calm demeanor when faced with Kevin directly in front of her field of vision. He might have found himself with third-degree, hot chocolate-induced burns all over his stupid perfect man-face. Quinn wasn't yet above childish nicknames.

Was Quinn filled with hurt? Oh, absolutely. Any effect the alcohol had had on her was quelled the moment she had opened the bedroom door to see her bed being defiled. Quinn inwardly cringed thinking about a man being in her bed; a man being with her girlfriend in her bed, no less.

Sighing, Quinn looked down at her hot chocolate. She thought it looked funny, and then she noticed that _everything_ looked funny. Her first thought was that maybe the alcohol still had its hold, but she silenced that thought when her hot chocolate started rippling.

Everything looked funny because everything was blurry. Things were blurry because there was a film over Quinn's eyes. There was a film over her eyes because she was crying. _Damnit, I promised myself I wouldn't cry._

Silent, slow tears fell down Quinn's face, forming lonely tracks over perfectly smooth cheeks. She'd been distant from Madison for a while, but she really cared for the girl. She never thought that things would come down to this. That Quinn would be sitting in her kitchen after walking in on _that_.

She felt something tug at her heart, and man did it hurt. This was the reason she hated to let people in. They all left her in the end.

Quinn closed her eyes tight and clenched her fists. She wouldn't let any emotions overwhelm her - she wasn't a high school girl on a hormonal rampage anymore. She was a grown woman and she was going to wait for Maddy to explain everything. _Then_ she was going to react.

She didn't have to wait much longer, thankfully, as she heard the bedroom door open a few minutes later.

Wiping the evidence of her tears from her face, Quinn straightened her back. She mentally prepared herself for Madison to walk in and act casual about it. This was the worst case scenario in Quinn's mind, and if she imagined that and it didn't happen, then things could only turn out better.

A tentative, "...Quinn?" rang out through the previously silent apartment. Madison's voice was low, questioning.

"I'm in here," Quinn replied softly. She lightly tapped her fingertips on her mug that held still warm hot chocolate, though Quinn had no appetite for it anymore. In fact, her stomach was so tight that Quinn feared she might vomit.

Silence covered the apartment like a blanket for a moment, but then Quinn heard the floor creak as Madison made her way to the kitchen. Maybe the alcohol circulating in her bloodstream was the only thing keeping Quinn calm at the moment, but it wasn't having the same effect on Madison. The latter girl felt her heart pacing madly, almost to the point that it actually hurt.

Her first step into the kitchen sent chills down her spine. Quinn was sitting at the island looking right at her, and Maddy didn't fail to notice the slightly red tint to Quinn's eyes. Oddly enough, Madison noticed that Quinn didn't look mad or upset. It was actually disconcerting to look at her girlfriend because Quinn's face was blank, expressionless. Maddy didn't know whether or not she would have preferred anger over this chilled persona.

She slowly made her way over to the island, but before she sat down she went to the sink to pour a glass of water for herself. She found her throat was as dry as any desert and sought to remedy that before she began her explanation to Quinn.

Once she was seated she looked up at Quinn who was looking back with an open expression. She didn't know whether to start talking or to just stay silent. Quinn made the first move, however, and so some pressure was removed from Madison's shoulders.

"I'm ready to listen if you're ready to explain," hazel eyes stared back softly.

Madison couldn't help but allow her gaze to fall in shame. How could Quinn be so... understanding about this? _Why isn't she screaming? Isn't she upset? Does she even feel ANYTHING_? All these questions darted through Madison's mind and she found _herself_ getting upset. This was why she slept with Kevin in the first place! She was lonely, desperate, and forever doubting herself around Quinn. At least if Quinn was upset it would show she cared!

Reigning in her torrent of emotions, Madison reconnected her gaze with Quinn's.

"I didn't mean to- for any-.. None of what happened tonight was planned. I'm not even attracted to him other than a few physical attributes. But even those I really didn't notice until tonight, I swear," Maddy stuttered was trying, and failing, to explain herself. She was too upset to be coherent.

Quinn's index finger was making circles on the tabletop and Madison remembered when the same pattern would be drawn on her back when the two would lay together. She felt her heartbeat slow down as the comforting thought took hold. Quinn still hadn't said anything so Madison continued.

"I guess I'll just start from the beginning. After you told me that you had plans for tonight... I felt so let down. I really just wanted to be with you because one of us is always unavailable these days," she paused to take a breath. "So I went over to Kevin to ask him to go out tonight, only he was more excited about it than I would have guessed. And... that made me feel something that shocked me," Madison saw Quinn's lips form a flat line and hurriedly continued.

"Not anything for him! Don't think that. He's a good friend now, but it's just... he was _so_ excited to hang out for one night that he was practically jumping up and down, and there _I_ was _throwing_ myself at _you_, and... you just, you _passed_. I'm not blaming you; don't think that for one second. Just let me explain all of it before you form an opinion, please?" Maddy begged upon noticing Quinn's peculiar reactions to what she was saying.

Quinn just bit her lip before she slightly nodded.

"So," Maddy explained, "It just made me feel happy, because hey, here was someone that wanted to hang out with me. And that's strange for me to think that, because I had a decent amount of friends growing up. I never had to deal with someone _not_ wanting to be with me, so I didn't know how to handle your passiveness. I figured replacing you with a friend for the night might make me feel better. So we went to the bar and had a few drinks and then we were dancing. And he was taller than you and smelled different, but he was holding me, and, well, I realized it had been a long time since you held me or visa versa, and it felt so _good_. Just to be held." Upon saying that, the brunette unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself.

"And I pretended he was you for a minute or two, but I couldn't pretend anymore when the dancing got dirty and sloppy. He kissed my neck... and I didn't stop him because I knew he wanted me. And, it was just, well, knowing that someone wanted me... I just needed to feel wanted. And I don't even remember coming here. I remember kissing him, knowing I was being dumb but not caring, and then the next thing I knew we were naked and you walked in and... and..." Madison couldn't continue her tale as she had started crying, burying her head in her hands as she did so.

"Oh my god, Quinn, I'm just so sorry. So fucking sorry. You have every right to leave me, because I'm an idiot," she said as she began to silently cry.

Quinn had watched Madison with a level head, or at least tried to, but by the end she had a rotten feeling in her stomach. Madison had cheated on her, yes. She had brought someone else, a man, into their apartment and bed; yes. Madison not having feelings for Kevin did change the situation a little bit, though, and Quinn knew that. However, that still didn't change the fact that, again, Madison freaking _cheated_ on Quinn.

But Quinn wasn't innocent in this whole station either. She had pushed Maddy away and she accepted that some blame was to be placed on her. She had started making circle patterns on the tabletop when Madison was talking about being wanted. Quinn always made that pattern on Maddy's shoulder or back when they would lay together, and she couldn't even remember the last time she'd done it.

Had Maddy really thought that Quinn didn't care for her at all? Quinn had been battling herself over whether or not she loved Maddy as more than a friend, but she knew she cared for her deeply. She just wanted some time to think, and her schedule really had been booked. She hadn't been _avoiding_ Madison by any means, but knowing that that's exactly what Madison thought hurt her.

Quinn tried to be objective about this all, so she looked at it from Madison's point of view. Quinn _had_ pushed her away, ignored her sometimes blatant cries for attention, and once when Madison had walked around the apartment naked, Quinn had just walked past her. Quinn recoiled just thinking about it. Her ego would have been bruised after that, too. Hell, if she were to walk around naked she expected people to _bow down_ _and say a damn prayer_.

Still, Quinn would never have cheated, and she still didn't think she could just get over that notsosmall fact.

While Quinn was processing all of this new information, Madison was allowing the tears to slow down, red eyes slowing letting up on the free flow. She looked at Quinn with pleading eyes, and she swore her heart almost stopped when Quinn started getting out of her chair.

_This is it, she's leaving me_, Madison thought.

But Madison was wrong. Quinn got up to walk around the island and stood next to her chair. "Do you really think I don't care about you at all?" the blonde whispered, hand coming up to play with a lock of Madison's hair.

Maddy could only nod at this, not trusting her voice. Quinn looked hurt by this response, but she nodded and pursed her lips.

"Come lay down with me?" she asked, dropping the silky hair in order to take Madison's hand. Madison opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, she followed Quinn into the living room where the blonde had plopped down onto the couch. She was too exhausted to be graceful about it.

When Madison didn't make an effort to move, Quinn pulled her down and brought them together so that Maddy's head rested by Quinn's neck. Feeling Madison shiver, Quinn pulled down the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over both of them, making sure the edges covered any potential exposure. Having finished with that, Quinn wrapped her arms around Maddy, causing the smaller girl to tuck herself into Quinn even tighter.

"I'm really sorry," Madison said almost imperceptibly, but Quinn caught it. She sounded like the little kid that broke her mother's favorite vase and would do anything to take it back.

"Shh, I know. Just... go to sleep," Quinn said. She moved her hand to Madison's back and started making the familiar circle pattern. When she felt Madison relax and her breathing even out, Quinn began to stare at the ceiling.

She couldn't leave Madison in her current state, but she knew that after this she couldn't stay with her either. Quinn had spent almost three weeks trying to figure out if she loved Madison, and she had finally found her answer. She knew Madison could never be more than a friend because as great as she was, Quinn wasn't really broken over tonight. And Quinn should have been torn, but she wasn't. Had Quinn been in love, she would have shattered. She would have been that vase that Maddy broke, but she wasn't. She was whole.

So for an hour Quinn just let Madison sleep on her because she knew that they'd probably never get to do this as partners ever again. After that hour, Quinn herself fell asleep and her dreams were full of loss and brown hair.

* * *

One of the best ways to wake up is in another's arms so that not only is there extra warmth spreading between the two, but there is also a bond formed. While the strength of that bond is questionable, the act itself is not.

At least, that's what Rachel used to think. Today, she felt like waking up in Jenna's arms was not a good thing at all as she jumped out of bed at the first whiff of Jenna's perfume left over from last night. Not that it smelled bad, because it was usually a wonderful smell. No, it was because right now Rachel's nose was more sensitive than a pregnant lady's and she bolted for the bathroom.

Barely lifting the lid in time, Rachel emptied the contents of her stomach into the ceramic bowl. A few seconds later she felt hands pulling her hair back for her, but that didn't make her feel any better. Her body continued to purge until Rachel was left dry heaving. Immediately, a glass of water was brought to her face and Rachel took it graciously. She took a sip or two at first before deciding to forgo the slow approach and just chugged it. Finished, she held the empty glass in the air and felt it disappear almost instantly.

"Can you stand?" she heard a gentle voice question. Rachel numbly nodded. She took the hand offered to her and felt herself being lifted up. Walking back to the bed, Rachel collapsed onto her side and didn't even feel her girlfriend tuck her in before she passed out.

* * *

Waking up a few hours later, Rachel no longer felt nauseous, but she did have a nasty headache. She groaned the moment the pain hit her. It probably would've been less painful to have been hit by a random truck in the middle of nowhere, mind you.

The groan was a bad idea, unfortunately, as Rachel's head just started to hurt more, if that was even possible. _Can intense pain really be more intense?_ Rachel wondered. As the throbbing refused to ebb, Rachel answered her own question with a_'yes, yes it can'._

Jenna heard the pained groan from her spot in the kitchen but continued preparing breakfast for Rachel and Kurt anyway. She had put some water and pain relievers by Rachel's bedside for her to find, and Kurt was already up. She figured Rachel would eventually make her way over to herself and Kurt. And food.

Mostly the food, if Jenna knew Rachel at all.

"Do I smell food?" Rachel's voice called out, causing Jenna's eyes to roll. The girl was predictable.

"Crepes!" Kurt responded excitedly. Then to Jenna he said, "If only both of us were straight, I'd date you for the food alone."

Jenna smiled, "Sometimes I think that's all Rachel uses me for."

"You're also acceptable as arm candy," Rachel added as she entered the room. She winked at Jenna, but then brought her hand to her head. "Ow. No winking, then."

Kurt and Jenna just laughed at the poor girl, which caused her to ask Kurt why _he_ didn't appear to be hung over.

"Because I'm not the lightweight of the century," he remarked, and it made Rachel frown.

"Hey, no pouting," Jenna chided. "Now eat while Kurt continues telling me all about last night."

Rachel sat down and pulled her plate closer, but gave Kurt the stink eye before she started eating. He ignored the diva and started where he left off.

"Well, that guy gave me his number but I told him I wasn't interested in any relationship yet, and that I was here for friends. He took it pretty well, no harm done. But ohmygod, Rachel was like a child when I found her! She pressed every button in the elevator. I'm lucky you guys live on the sixth floor; otherwise it would've taken _forever! _"The peppy boy had too much pep, if you asked Rachel. She continued to glare at her friend as she shoveled blueberry deliciousness into her mouth.

She wasn't quite as intimidating as she thought. A teddy bear was more daunting.

"Rachel, you look less threatening than a squirrel in a tutu," Kurt mocked. "Please, do try again."

Rachel just grumbled something that sounded like '_rabid squirrels are pretty intimidating'_ in response. She was glad it was Saturday so she didn't have to do anything today. Her head was far too full of fluff for any important matters.

"So. What are we doing today?" Rachel asked Jenna as she finished her breakfast. Her headache had lessened and she felt like doing something of value.

Little did Rachel know that Jenna had arranged for them to go to Quinn's set today.

* * *

**Bam. I fully believe in teasing before pleasing ;D**

**What'dya think is gonna happen?**


	7. Chapter 7

**I won't be that guy who says "No reviews, no story," but I will admit the less reviews, the less inclined I will be to write, and so the less often I'll update. As for those who ARE reviewing, thank you SO much. It means the world.**

**Ater this chapter, things will move faster I think. I had an outline for this whole story but I'm not sure I want to follow it anymore.**

**Regardless, I hope you like this chapter. If not.. then let me know by REVIEWING. Wink wink, nudge nudge.**

**Here comes Brittana :)**

**I do not own Glee, however, my computer is dumb and doesn't have spell check so I guarantee there will be typos I have to own up to in this chapter, and I very much apologize for those. Usually I write on my phone and email it to my computer, but it's a nice day outside so.. I'm chilling with my laptop and eating Honey Mustard pretzels. Mmm. Random fact.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 7:

After a short breakfast, Jenna had convinced Rachel to spend the day with her and they had taken a taxi to some address Jenna gave the driver. Even though Rachel had badgered Jenna to no end about where they were going, Jenna kept her mouth shut. She wanted to surprise Rachel. Not that it was some huge secret and she wanted to shock Rachel, but it was something she figured Rachel would enjoy and wanted to see her reaction. However, what she got wasn't exactly what she expected.

"Why didn't you tell me we were visiting a set?" Rachel squeaked. "I would have better prepared myself in relation to both my apparel _and_ my makeup," the diva complained. "What if someone important sees me and I look like _this_." She waved her arms in front of her to emphasize the fact that she didn't look 100% spectacular. She looked casual and nice, perfect for what they were doing today.

"Rachel, you look fine," Jenna soothed. The only person who needed to look somewhat decent was herself, as she was being paid to do this. "Plus, we're only going to be here for a short while. Qu- Um, Lucy invited us to meet the cast and crew so I could take food suggestions that they would want to see at the party. You'll probably get to meet her yourself," Jenna added the last part as an afterthought.

Rachel harrumphed but she couldn't prevent the wave of curiosity that flooded her system. "In all that you've told me, you've yet to describe her to me."

"Oh, I haven't told you much, have I?" Jenna concluded. "Well, let's see. She has blonde hair, lighter than mine. It's short but really flattering on her. Though to be honest she's the kind of woman who could pull off a paper bag. She's really attractive. To the extreme, in all hones-" Jenna was cut off by Rachel's, "Should I be worried? You sound a little too invested in your description. In fact, here, let me wipe off some of the drool from your chin," Rachel mocked the actions she just spoke.

"Oh please, if either of us should be worried, it's me. Let me emphasize the fact that she's_ blonde_ and _gorgeous_, and while you refuse to acknowledge this, you have a type. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if she had breathtakingly white wings sprouting from her shoulder blades. She almost reminded me of an angel, minus the whole drinking-alcohol part," Jenna practically hummed. "But my point is that _you_ are the one dating the blonde in this relationship," Jenna threw out there. Rachel's teeth biting in to her lip made Jenna straighten her shoulders in victory. "Exactly," she stated smiling.

"Whatever, just continue. And please, do elaborate on her _personality_ rather than her physical appearance. I mean, you did spend _three hours_ with her, you _should_ have gotten to know her quite well," Rachel said, slightly off-put by her girlfriend drooling over some dumb blonde. _Pfft,_ _I'll have to see this for myself,_ the shorter girl thought.

"Rach, I'm just messing with you. Kind of. But moving on, she has soft voice, and I say this because it matches her personality and not because it fits her angelic looks," Jenna teased, earning pursed lips from Rachel. Jenna rarely saw Rachel jealous, so she embraced the moment. "It's kind of low and subtle, and that's how she holds herself. She's really pleasant, but holds herself in a very professional manner. Umm, I don't really know how to describe her, I guess. I feel like she can become a great friend, though, after all this is over," Jenna finished.

Rachel tossed those words around in her mind trying to picture this woman. "What color are her eyes?" she asked.

"They're a greenish brown, I think, why?"

"No particular reason, I was just wondering. Well, I mean that I'm trying to picture her," Rachel said.

"Oh trust me, anything you come up with will not equal reality," Jenna laughed. Rachel just glared at her girlfriend, wondering whether or not this whole jealousy thing was going to work out.

"Here we are," Jenna stated, oblivious to Rachel's inner thoughts. They were standing outside of some huge studio that held the cast and crew of Quinn's movie.

* * *

As Madison and Quinn lay sleeping on the couch, the latter slowly awoke from her dead slumber. The blonde was slightly disconcerted, not quite sure where she was for a moment. The pounding headache behind her eyes wasn't helping much, nor was the fact that she couldn't even open her eyes. They felt glued shut and any struggle she put up just worsened her already aching head. She was eventually forced to bring her hands up to rub the crust from her lashes, and only then was her vision flooded with light.

_Okay, so maybe I should have thought that through, _Quinn thought as the light continued to fry her retinas and her eyes glazed over with a layer of water. She wanted to groan but her mouth felt dry and she was overwhelmed with a yearning for water. She was about to stand up and head to the kitchen when the past days' events hit her all at once.

Quinn was drunk. Madison had cheated on her. Madison had apologized after explaining. Quinn had felt all sorts of emotions. Both girls were upset. They had fallen asleep.

That was when Quinn became aware of the weight on her chest that was her girlfriend. She brought her gaze over to the still sleeping Madison, whose head was currently lying on Quinn's chest. Her breaths were even and slow, her face calm and innocent. Quinn couldn't tear her eyes away from the site because she wasn't sure she'd ever see it again. Madison looked so peaceful that Quinn couldn't bring herself to wake the girl. Instead, she brought her hand to Madison's cheek and ran her thumb over the high cheekbones that helped sculpt her beautiful face. She knew she would definitely miss this, this intimacy; the feeling of being close to Madison without needing to do anything. Just lying together.

Quinn stopped breathing as Madison's breath hitched and her fingers twitched from their position on Quinn's shoulders. Awareness trickled into Madison at a sluggish pace, but once it did her head snapped up to look at Quinn so fast that the latter thought whiplash might be yet another issue the couple (or ex-couple) would have to deal with.

"Quinn," Madison simply stated.

"Yes," Quinn replied slowly.

"You stayed." Quinn nodded in response, not sure what to say.

The mood in the room instantly changed, going from sleepy and tranquil to tense, confused, and more than a tiny bit awkward.

"Why?" Madison asked, breaking the silence.

Quinn thought a moment before responding. "I'm not _staying_. This," Quinn waved her hand over the two of them, "is not... Maddy, I can't _stay _with you after last night," she finished softly.

Quinn felt Madison tense from above her before loosening back up and sighing in acceptance.

"It's not just because of last night, is it?" The actress said more statement than question.

"No, not really. It was the catalyst, at least."

Madison pushed herself up, hands on either side of Quinn's torso, to get a better look at Quinn's face. Upon connecting their gazes, Maddy almost unperceptively nodded. She stood up fully, leaving the bubble of comfort that had surrounded her throughout the night. That allowed Quinn to sit up on the couch and get her bearings. She took her time, however, not wanting to disrupt the lack of pain she was currently feeling (or not feeling) in her head.

Maddy reached out her hand to Quinn who took it graciously. After standing up, the pair walked to the kitchen where Quinn sat down and Maddy grabbed two glasses of water. She sat down across from Quinn, their positions reversed from last night. Sliding Quinn her glass, Madison took a tentative sip from her own glass.

"Did you..." she began but couldn't quite find it in herself to add anything.

Quinn just tilted her head, silently asking, _Did I what?_

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Madison tried again. "Did you, well, I mean, how did you feel when you saw..." she trailed off, unable to mention what she'd done last night. Or, more appropriately, _who_ she'd done. _Yea, great time to be thinking these things, _Madison inwardly berated herself.

"You and Kevin?" Quinn finished for her. Madison bit her lip but affirmed what Quinn had asked with a quick movement of her head.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said my first thought wasn't 'Oh my god, there's a penis in my bed.' It was quite repulsive, if I do say so myself. And now there's... male _stuff_ on the sheets," Quinn shuddered, "But I also thought it was a joke. I had been waiting all day to come home and spend time... with you, and then after all that time, I came home to _that_ instead. It was disturbing. I was disturbed."

Madison looked so pained that Quinn stopped herself from going on.

"Keep going. You listened to me."

"Okay," Quinn said, but she was unsure. "I felt upset, then angry, but then I came in here and sat down and realized that I wasn't exactly mad at you. I was mad at Kevin because he's one of the few that know about us, and here he was sleeping with you. I wanted to be angry with you, but I've cheated before so I knew not to make a snap judgment about the situation. Again, though, I wasn't overtly emotional. I was a little sad, a little hurt, but nothing I couldn't manage. Nothing threatened to destroy me."

Madison let out a breath of air she hadn't known she'd been holding the entire time.

"Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"Did you even love me?" It might have sounded pathetic if said differently, but looking into Madison's eyes Quinn knew Madison just wanted an honest answer. Whatever Quinn said would determine Madison's next actions. If Quinn said "Yes" she'd have to fight for her, but "no" and Madison knew she couldn't win any fight if there was no battle to initiate.

"I could have, eventually."

Madison's shoulders dropped, armor for the fight placed aside. There would be no battle.

"What's going to happen?" she asked, eyes displaying her anguish.

Quinn didn't really have to think about it. "I'll go stay with Santana and Brittany while I look for another apartment. You stay here."

"Are you sure? This was your place anyway," Madison asked, confused.

"Yea it _was_ my place, but I don't think I could sleep in that bed anymore and while this couch is rather comfortable, I'm not sure I could sleep on it every night. We have almost the rest of the month paid for, so one of us might as well live in it. I'll just be sure to grab the furniture when I get my new apartment. You take yours and I'll take mine," Quinn said decisively.

Before Madison could say anything, an annoying ringtone could be heard from the other room. Quinn padded over to her bag and fumbled to answer her phone in time. It was Charlie asking her when she was going to show up.

"About that..." Quinn started. "Is there any way I can take a personal day? We're not doing anything important today that requires me or Madison, are we? Last time I checked, all of her scenes were perfect."

Charlie rambled for a few minutes, mostly accusing her of taking a 'personal day' and making it into a 'personal day in bed with a hot actress', but eventually relented to Quinn's demand and the conversation ended. Quinn could only think _'_I _wish _that was why I was requesting this.' Turning around, Quinn found Madison was only a few feet away as she had followed Quinn.

"Why do we need a personal day?" the brunette asked, wondering what was going on in Quinn's mind.

"I'm going to call Santana and move some things over there, and I figured you wouldn't want to go in today. Kevin and all."

"What if she can't take you in? I don't want to kick you out of your own apartment," Maddy worried, though she was thankful she could procrastinate talking to Kevin.

Quinn didn't explain right away, feeling awkward and a little embarrassed. "Well, actually, S prepared for this day." Madison didn't miss the guilty look on Quinn's face.

"Huh?" she said dumbstruck.

"After you moved in, she made a U-Haul joke and said you'd cheat on me within the first few months of living together," Quinn admitted. "I believe she said something like, 'And _when_ that day comes, because there is no _if_ about it, Juno, you're gonna come crying to Auntie Tana, and I'm gonna be there for you because that's what friends are for.' Then she went on about how she wasn't going to stop having sex marathons with Britt anywhere and everywhere just because she was harboring a failure like me... but the incentive was still there."

Madison wanted to be offended, but she realized she couldn't be. She _had _cheated on Quinn after only two and a half months of living together. "Damn."

* * *

Last time Quinn had seen Santana or Brittany was a little over a month ago and she was actually excited to see them, though the reason for her visit was less than admirable. Standing outside Santana's door was bittersweet for Quinn. The last conversation the two had had was basically Santana calling Quinn an idiot for being with Madison, and that Santana saw through what Quinn was doing by being with Madison. Quinn didn't understand the last part, but ignored it, thinking that her friend was just being irrational in times of anger.

Brittany tried to get Santana to back off, but Santana was in bitch mode that day. Brittany then tried to console Quinn by telling her that S just wanted to protect Quinn. They'd only recently re-united and Santana didn't want to lose Quinn all over again. Quinn had dropped off of everyone's radar sophomore year of college, and as far as the couple knew, Quinn had spoken to no one else from their high school club. Quinn had asked them to keep her sudden appearance secret, and they'd complied. They didn't _agree_ with Quinn's decision, but they knew she must have had a reason.

So here Quinn was, staring down at a doormat that read, "GO AWAY" as opposed to "WELCOME". Quinn couldn't help the small smile that formed on her lips when she saw the unicorn sticker at the upper right corner of the mat, however. She felt no matter how sad she was Brittany's innocence would always be able to make her smile. Finally able to bring herself to admit her stupidity to her Latina friend, Quinn raised her fist to knock on the door that stood in front of her and separated her from her long-time friends.

Oddly enough, just as her fist was about to connect, a blonde head made an appearance and Quinn took in the sight of her old friend. Brittany was still in her pajamas, which consisted of old sweat pants and a white tank top that didn't quite reach her waist. Her hair was a bit disheveled, most likely from recently waking up. Or maybe from Santana. Quinn really didn't need any mental images and she tried to remain ignorant.

"Q?" Brittany asked, puzzled as to why her friend was at her doorstep. She didn't think Quinn had called ahead, but maybe S just forgot to tell her.

"B?" Quinn said, and she was baffled by the sound of her voice cracking. Only then did Quinn acknowledge that there were tears in her eyes.

"Q! You're crying!" Brittany said, immediately reaching forward to envelope Quinn in a tight hug.

"B, who was the creep at the door that Tom called about?" Santana's voice rang out from inside the apartment. The Latina neared the door to see her wife draped over someone.

"Babe, we don't hug strangers, remember?" Santana came running, worried. Brittany still liked to hug random people whenever she thought they needed it, and last time the receiver hadn't taken it kindly and the tall blonde had been upset about it for the rest of the day.

Brittany pulled back from the intruder only for Santana to see that it was Quinn.

"Oh, it's just you tubbe-" Santana cut herself off when she saw Quinn's miserable expression. "Q? What the fuck happened?"

"S, language," Brittany warned. Santana opened her mouth but then closed it again upon seeing Brittany's expression.

"It's fine, B. S, you were right. But that's not why I'm sad, not exactly anyway. I've also missed you guys so much," Quinn interrupted the moment.

Santana thought Quinn was crazy for a moment before realizing what Quinn meant. Once it dawned on her what must have happened, Santana was filled with anger. "Do I need to kill a bitch?" she practically growled.

Brittany stood confused, not sure what was going on. What was her wife right about? And why would whatever it was make her friend sad? Shouldn't Quinn be happy for Santana to be right? Oh, well maybe not because usually Santana got really smug about things when she was right.

"No! God no, you're not getting arrested for me. No, I left her at the apartment. We're fine. We're just... we're not really a 'we' anymore, I guess. Can, um, I stay with you for a week or two?" Quinn asked, pride pushed to the side.

"Of course, Q! You can stay in the guest room we prepared for Lord Tubbington! He missed his flight a while ago and never showed up, even though we prepared the room for him," Brittany excitedly offered, though she seemed to become sad by the end.

Santana softened at Brittany's words before turning once again to look at her friend. "Are you okay, Q? I mean it," the Latina asked.

Quinn looked at her best friend with eyes full of thanks. "Yea, S, I'll be fine. I'll survive."

"Then get your apartment-mooching ass in here, you're letting all the queer air from outside in. Seriously, Tom is the guy who called to tell us that there was some 'questionable character' standing outside out door for, like, ever. He's a creep, and I'm pretty sure he's hidden a camera or two in our apartment."

"You're queer," Quinn pointed out, and then added, "Cameras?" in a worried tone.

"Yea, but me and S don't worry about it. An audience makes it more exciting, right S?" Brittany said cheerily.

Santana just gave Quinn a look that said "Don't you dare comment," and Quinn rolled her eyes in response. The next few days were going to be interesting, and Quinn was going to start apartment hunting as soon as possible.

"Oh, and Quinn?" Santana looked at her friend. "I would never go to jail because they'd never find the body."

* * *

_Green or purple, it's hard to choose. Do I want the tart flavor of the green, or the sweet, watery flavor of the purple? Why am I spending so much time deciding about grapes? Is this really what my life has come down to? Well, at least there aren't raisins - that'd just blow my mind at this point..._ Rachel rambled in her mind. Jenna was out and about mingling with cast members while she herself was standing by a table full of snacks. She didn't really care about the grapes, she just wanted something to do and an internal debate over grapes won out over initiating conversation with any of the many actors around her.

It wasn't that Rachel was being stuck up; she was just feeling out of place. These actors were relatively new to the scene, newer than even she was, and didn't have much experience behind them, if any at all. One girl she had tried to start conversation with was actually a college drop-out who had auditioned on a whim and gotten the part. It wasn't a big part, but that didn't take away from the accomplishment. After genuinely trying, Rachel simply felt that she couldn't connect any conversation. After many failed attempts, Rachel had trouble focusing on any words coming out of anybody's mouth, so she had headed over to the snack table.

"Do I want to know what those poor grapes have done to earn such a glare from you?" a voice broke Rachel out of her trance.

"Excuse me?" she said, turning to look at whoever had invaded her thoughts.

"You were glaring at the grapes, quite fiercely if I dare say so," the man said. He was quite attractive, hair some shade of blonde. Excellent facial features. She couldn't say he was handsome, as he was too soft to be so. Beautiful was a better word to describe him, and Rachel found herself smiling at his friendly demeanor.

"Oh, well, I was having an internal debate over purple or green," she said. Then, realizing how dumb she sounded she added, "I mean to say I'm just trying to pass time while my... I'm just trying to pass time."

"Well I guess giving dirty looks to grapes is about as good a way as any," he smiled at her. She chuckled, "Yes, I suppose so."

"So, what brings you here? I haven't seen you around before," the man says.

"Have you spoken to Jenna?" she asks.

"Jenna... I recognize that na- Oh yea! She's that pretty blonde, right? Asking about food for the party in two weeks? She's seems nice." He grabs a plate and reaches in front of Rachel to grab some grapes, smirking at her all the while. She rolls her eyes at his actions but can't help but feel a rush of pride at his depiction of Jenna.

"Yep, that'd be her. She's the caterer I came here with," Rachel continued to avoid saying that she'd come _with_ Jenna. As in the two were more than platonic.

He popped a grape in his mouth before eyeing Rachel with a onceover. "As in, _with_ her?" He insinuated, and Rachel swore he had read her mind. She bit her lip, caught. While she was out to the public as bisexual (it was kind of hard to hide all of her trysts once her name became well-known), she still avoided flaunting it. Jenna held a similar view, but Jenna's career field was more accepting of these things and if asked _directly_ then Jenna would hold an "I'm here and I'm queer" persona.

Broadway itself didn't make a big deal of sexuality, but on-screen acting did, and so Rachel wouldn't deny anything, but she wouldn't point it out, either. Her fathers would be incredibly disappointed with her if she ever denied it, and that alone was enough reason to be herself. Not that it was the only reason; Rachel never had, and never intended to hide her personality or who she was from anyone.

While Rachel was lost in her own thoughts, the man rushed with, "Don't worry, it doesn't matter. We have a gay couple here on set. They're not here today, though..." he said with an odd tone to his voice. It sounded half relieved and half panicked. "Well, half gay in Madison's case."

"Who's Madison?" Rachel said, glad to take the spotlight off of herself for once. She ignored the half gay comment.

"My female lead," he smiled. "Oh, before we get into that, I should properly introduce myself. Hi, I'm Kevin." He offered a hand that Rachel immediately took. "Rachel Berry, nice to meet you," she returned.

For the next hour Kevin went on to explain not only the dynamics of the movie, but also those of the cast and crew itself. Rachel was shocked to hear of the female lead, Madison, hooking up with the author that Rachel knew as Lucy. Kevin referred to her as LC, though, and said that almost everyone called her that, but no one actually knew what the C stood for. In fact, most people thought her name was actually Elsie. Still, she was forced to question the professionalism of this LC character and thought back to how Jenna had basically described her as a goddess. _What **wonderful **news it is that she's gay and an angel,_ Rachel thought sourly.

Rachel thought it was an awful coincidence that the one day she and Jenna visited the author decided to take her first personal day ever. At least, Kevin said it was her first no-show.

To be honest, Rachel was just really curious about what LC looked like because Kevin himself described her as beauty incarnated. "And she's not even close to my type," he had said. He didn't have a picture of her, but he did have a picture of Madison and himself nearby and he had shown that to Rachel. She blinked at the stunning woman.

"Yea, beautiful, right? And LC had _her_ swooning, so just imagine _that._"

Rachel wasn't sure she wanted to.

* * *

**Longest chapter yet, and they'll keep getting longer with reviews :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow. If I had known simply asking for reviews would get the result it did... dang guys. I'm actually regretful, as now that I see how excited you guys are for the interaction.. I'm absolutely petrified of disappointing you.**

**I'm glad you figured out what LC stood for, hah. I appreciate all reviews, but a special thanks to those who are constantly reviewing, commenting about each chapter as I write it. Gracias.**

**I'm terribly sorry for the day late. I have been preparing for my grad party / graduation and my family is irking me, so my mind is not in the best place as I am upset over a few things. Thus, I also apologize if this chapter seems cluttered. I cannot seem to concentrate, but I really want to get this out tonight for you. I've been writing it _all day_. For hour. Seriously. And I a****t least.. I think it's a day late? I'm losing track of time.**

**I'm warning you now; you'll probably hate me.**

**Well, I _hope_ you don't hate me after this chapter, but at least I've made it long. **

**Cliff-hanger, and I won't be able to update for a few days, so.. enjoy it while it lasts, guys.**

**I do not own Glee.**

* * *

Chapter 8:

A week and a half had passed since Rachel and Jenna had visited the set of LC's movie, which they found out was called _Undeniable._ Kevin had mentioned that the book was entitled the same, a fact that Rachel did not neglect. In fact, Rachel had convinced Jenna to stop at the nearest book store in order to locate a copy and buy it a mere few days later. Not that it took much convincing as Jenna was interested in reading the book as well.

In reality, both were excited to read the novel that they had clearly remained ignorant about for much too long of a time. It had been out for almost a year before a movie deal was finally settled, so they had missed the top seller for about that amount of time. Rachel went as far as to call dibs on reading it first, to which Jenna conceded, but not without some pouting and a mumbled something about buying another copy.

The reasoning behind their separate desires to read the story ended up being similar, in an odd fashion. Rachel liked to read an average amount, but she felt out of the loop upon finding out that this book was indeed a big hit. Many people knew about it, and when she had talked to her fellow cast mates from her show about the novel, most of them had admitted to adoring the book.

_"The love story was to _die for_, Rachel. I mean it, to _**die**_ for," a close friend had said. "It feels like your soul is ripped out, beaten, put in a blender, thrown against a tree, bent at all angles, burned, and then eventually replaced as broken as it is. You're left to pick up the pieces, shattered shard by shattered shard. Tragic, I tell you." _

_Granted, he was known for being a bit flamboyant, but that didn't take away from his analysis. _

_"I can't believe that none of you have ever mentioned such a book to me! Certainly with the amount of attention that this story has acquired I should have heard of it, right? You guys have surely had conversations about the book before, so you can see why I am confused," Rachel questioned her cast mates. _

_They looked around at each other, not quite sure how to respond to the diva. They had to have mentioned the book previously, but not one actor could think of a moment that they had._

_"Well, Paul was actually reading it the other day during the five minute break, right Paul?" a red head piped up._

_A dark haired man, presumably Paul, looked up at this. He rubbed his chin, pondering. Rachel rolled her eyes at his theatricality not in a demeaning way, just slightly annoyed. Paul was not known for being succinct in thought. _

_"I might've been," his dull voice plagued. May the forces be thanked that the man was only a dancer and wasn't needed for his quick thinking. The cast knew not to question him more, as it was basically hopeless._

_"I read it about a month after it was released, so there was no reason for me to talk about it, really. I mean, we just started rehearsing three weeks ago, so it's been a nine month break since I've read it," a blonde female added to the conversation. "It was a great story, but not one that I feel the need to bring up in everyday conversation. Plus, it's depressing, and I have tried not to dwell on it."_

Rachel wasn't upset or anything really, she just felt that she had let her life get too busy if she hadn't even heard about some new amazing book, let alone read it.

Then again, she was living the life she had always dreamed of; she was in shows both off and on Broadway when the times permitted. Currently she was playing an important role, but in a smaller production off Broadway of her own volition. She wanted a short break from the very demanding Broadway stage. Not permanent in the least, her agent was already looking for upcoming small show would only last a month, or two depending on the reviews, so it wasn't a long term commitment. In fact, they were to begin actually seating guests in a few days. The sooner they began, the sooner they ended.

After getting over the fact that she had completely blanked in regards to LC's book, Rachel questioned the cast what it was about. They were a semi-close group and generally enjoyed each other's presence, so it was no problem sharing their thoughts over the book. They had gushed about how Romeo and Juliet had nothing on the star-crossed lovers of the tale. They all hated the guy that kept the main characters from being together, claiming he was incompetent and clearly didn't deserve the girl. Unfortunately, her cast mates wouldn't tell Rachel who the main character, Rebecca, ended up with. It was between two guys, Levin or Frank.

Instead of granting Rachel any satisfaction, talking to her friends about the book had only managed to rile the girl up. She wanted more than ever to read the book after the conversation, and had literally run home after rehearsal. The theater was only a few blocks from her apartment and though she was forced to shove a few people out of her way to do so, she made it home in record time. She took the quickest shower of her life, throwing a loose shirt on and some bottoms before jumping into bed and grabbing the book.

At first she decided to relax, lying down with her head propped up by pillows. She had the book resting on her stomach so the words would rise and fall as her body circulated the oxygen she was taking in. After a while, however, she found the storyline was getting incredibly complicated and could no longer read in in her relaxed pose. She sat up, chin in hand, and was tensed over the book. Her back would hurt after a while, so she would switch positions periodically.

The story followed Rebecca, a college kid who was dating Franklin, captain of the University's Basketball team. They had been going strong for most of sophomore year and they had started dating sometime in November of that same year. The story started with them both single, but the awkward situation of them finding themselves together happened very early on.

They considered themselves in love and as the story progressed they became juniors and things changed. Frank's friend and captain of the University's soccer and lacrosse team, Levin, somehow came into the picture one day and just jumbled everything together.

Rebecca at first thought he was just another douchebag jock, as he had personally insulted Rebecca on numerous occasions for being an arts student, focusing on dance and acting. That was before she had started dating Franklin, however, and so he had since stopped. So she was perplexed to say the least when Levin made a sudden appearance in most of her higher up classes. Frank was in a lot of applied classes, and only took what was mandatory to graduate. He was there on a full-ride athletic scholarship, after all, and he wanted classes with grades easy to maintain. She had figured most jocks at her university were like that.

Fortune had it that Rebecca was paired with Levin for some project on the first week of classes, forcing her to spend time with the boy after hours for a solid month. What she hadn't expected was to find herself enjoying spending time with Levin's friends that weren't Frank. It was odd because if anyone said something to insult Rebecca, Levin would immediately take charge of the situation and defend the girl's honor. Her own boyfriend rarely did so and had even said some things (though inadvertently) to add insult to his girlfriend himself, thus Rebecca would always give Levin a baffled look when he did such things.

It was an adorable friendship and Rachel was completely bewildered as to why the two hadn't connected earlier. _Seriously! They were in the same circle! How could they _not_ have talked before? _Rachel yelled in her mind. Then she thought about her own high school career and remembered that she and Finn hadn't realized their relationship for a while either. Rachel scoffed at the thought, mentally berating herself for all that had happened between them. All that she had given up for the boy, and all that she almost gave up. _God, I was such an idiot_...

Before she could spend too much time thinking about her past, she quickly returned to the story. Rachel was completely enamored by the tale, fully able to associate herself with it now. While her mental summary was a decent portrayal, she couldn't get over how well-written the story was. Lucy whateverherlastnameisC was an excellent author.

Throughout that night, which was only three nights after meeting the cast of LC's movie, Rachel continued to devour the words on the page; her eyes were running over every sentence, every page, for countless hours. Levin became closer and closer to Rebecca, and the two were practically inseparable. Rachel found herself rooting for Rebecca to just breakup with Frank and get with Levin because it was _oh-so-obvious_ that the pair belonged together. Hell, Levin was twice the man Frank would ever be. Frank couldn't even _begin_ to try and match Rebecca in any aspect (except athletics, of course). Still, it was not so subtle that Franklin was undeserving of Rachel, while Levin was most definitely the golden boy.

After a notably stressful chapter, Rachel looked up at the clock to see that it was already 1am. Her eyes bugged out of her sockets. She had started reading at 8pm and was nowhere near tired enough to sleep. She was much too titillated to even _think_ of sleeping, and she was only halfway through the book!

Continuing on, she ignored the fact that Jenna had yet to come home. She had gone to meet with a few food sources to make order for next week. The party was on its way.

By Christmas, Rebecca and Franklin had argued heavily for the first time, and it focused on two things; Rebecca being less and less affectionate with Frank, and Frank being inconsiderate of Rebecca's feelings. After that first argument, the two had calmed down and forgiven each other. Within the same month, though, another altercation had found its way into their lives. Following that second one, Rebecca had called Levin who had rushed to be by his best friend's side in her time of need. He held her through the night as she cried on his shoulder, and he even talked with Frank the next day.

Frank had calmed down by then and just seemed gloomy for a while. He did throw some terminology at Levin that the latter boy did not appreciate, however. The two boys didn't speak for some time thereafter. Subsequently, Rebecca unconsciously found herself growing even closer to her friend, their affinity for each other digging ever deeper. After every disagreement she had with her boyfriend she would run to Levin who was always waiting with open arms and soothing words.

_Okay, this is just annoying now. They need to just be together,_ Rachel growled in her mind. She was awfully engrossed in the story, just waiting for the duo to admit they loved each other. It was beginning to get ridiculous and Rachel needed a break. A breath of reality.

Noticing it was 3am, Rachel sighed. She had to be up and at the theater by 8am the next morning... or rather, this morning. She was three quarters of the way through and figured she had about an hour and a half left before she finished the story. She weighed the pros and cons, but ended up deciding to sleep. The book would be on her bed stand tomorrow, but her time to sleep was now or never.

Sighing, she collapsed onto her bed and was asleep within minutes, thoughts and images of Levin, Frank, and Rebecca filling her dreams.

* * *

**Back to being a week and a half after visiting the set**

"Are you almost done reading the book, Rach? You've taken long enough, you know," Jenna's voice flooded from the bedroom.

"I haven't had time to read any more since last week," Rachel whined from the bathroom. She had just finished brushing her teeth and was really rather upset about the fact that she hadn't had even one spare moment to read the damn book. She should have just finished it that night last Wednesday.

"You have two days left, babe," Jenna warned. "Make it happen! You don't want to be the only one who hasn't finished it." Since Jenna had had a free day on Monday, she had spent the day in the kitchen drinking some wine and reading the book. She wanted nothing more than to discuss the end with Rachel. It was a devastating way to end the book, and Jenna was torn between just telling Rachel to get it over with, or waiting for the brunette to hurry up and finish it. She couldn't actually ruin the ending, however, so she was stuck waiting.

"I know, I know. I'll try to finish it tomorrow," Rachel replied, turning on the shower. It was a warmer day than usual so she set the temperature a little cooler than normal. "I just want to relax tonight and sleep after my shower."

"Hmm..." Jenna hummed, her voice sounding closer than before.

"What?" Rachel asked, turning around to find Jenna in the doorway.

"I can help with that if you'd like?" Jenna offered, smirking.

Rachel felt a devious smile form on her face. "Help with what?"

Jenna pretended to think for a moment. "Well, I could relax you so much that you'd pass out..." her eyes were following the movement of her own fingers, which were trailing the counter of the sink. "So both," the blonde finished, looking directly into Rachel's eyes now.

Rachel felt her heartbeat speed up and felt the blood flooding areas it hadn't been only moments previous. "Oh really now? Sounds like a lot of talk," Rachel teased, noticing Jenna walking closer.

"Then I'll show you," the blonde whispered, lips hovering mere centimeters above from Rachel's, fingertips ghosting over the hem of her shirt. Arousal flooded the brunette, causing her to close what little distance there was between the two by raising the soles of her feet.

It didn't take too long before all clothes were shed and the two were in the shower. Rachel grappled with the lever that would make the water warmer, and soon succeeded in her quest. It was an actual task when Jenna's hands were all over her body, her lips on her neck. Rachel moaned lowly.

Needless to say, Jenna followed through with her promise and Rachel slept quite soundly that night.

* * *

Quinn really hadn't known what to expect to happen between herself and Madison. She wasn't angry with Madison, and Madison wasn't angry with her. There weren't really any feelings between the two except awkwardness. _Yea, there's plenty of that,_ Quinn thought sourly.

Unfortunately, Quinn didn't want anyone to know of the happenings of last week, so she and Madison had agreed to pretend to be together for just a little longer when in front of the cast. The public didn't know about the two, as anyone who wasn't constantly in Quinn's company thought that Madison was dating Kevin.

Quinn wanted to be mad, wanted to be upset, but all she felt was disappointment in herself. She had _lost against herself _if she made the whole situation into a metaphor_._ Or, she lost to Kevin at least. Which really represented the epic failure of Quinn's life.

In the end, it was better than Madison cheating on Quinn with Ryan. That would probably just have shattered Quinn for alternate reasons, and not for what would appear to be obvious.

Ryan played Frank, the other lead character in the story, though not as essential as Levin. If asked, the leads of the movie were clearly Madison and Kevin, but Ryan was right up there. He was an average-looking guy, not nearly as attractive as Kevin, but probably nicer. _Suiting, _the blonde though.

It was a good thing that Quinn was usually too busy looking over the editing and such to be forced to interact with Madison. Filming had officially ended 5 days ago and editing was being made into a 24 hour 7 days a week duty. Everything needed to be done by Friday and it was already Monday. Jenna, the caterer, had everything figured out by now and was just waiting for things to come in so she could prepare. She was a miracle worker, Quinn determined. She had managed everything in _one week; _forget the two Quinn had given her.

Back to Madison, it wasn't like all of her feelings had mysteriously disappeared; she just no longer felt the need to act on them. For the most part. Quinn hated sleeping alone at night after having had Madison by her side for months.

Shaking her head for amusing such thoughts, Quinn decided to give Santana a call to see if the Latina was willing to amuse her for the night. Maybe go out to a bar with her. Brittany liked to dance at clubs a few nights a week and Santana almost always went to watch. More so out of protectiveness than to actually watch, as Brittany had once complained of a man being "handsy". Santana had gone ape-shit crazy afterwards and had tried to ban Brittany from dancing.

It didn't work out because Santana was putty in Brittany's hands and the blonde girl had started crying so that Santana would cave. Typical. That was all months ago, and Quinn only knew because Brittany had spent the last week updating Quinn on every aspect of their lives. Literally _every _aspect. Quinn now knew things about her friends' sex life that she could never un-know. _Scarred for life,_ Quinn shivered.

The sound of her call dialing alerted Quinn to the fact that she was in the middle of calling Santana.

"What up bitch?" came a voice over the phone.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Nice way to greet a friend, S."

"Hey, if you weren't a friend it would have been much worse. Trust me. I made a kid cry once when he got the wrong number."

"Santana!" Quinn berated.

"He had a blocked number, he asked for it. Anyway, what did you want, tubbers? I have a life, you know. Not all of us can spend our days cockblocking our friends."

Quinn just huffed at this. Sighing, she said, "If you have plans tonight, cancel them. You're hanging out with me."

Santana didn't answer for a minute and Quinn thought that she was going to be left alone tonight after all. Instead, Santana finally spoke up.

"Demanding... I like it. I can only imagine what you're like in bed. Probably all HBIC, right?" Quinn heard the wink in her voice and felt blood rise to her face.

"Get a life. See you at 8."

* * *

"Are you kidding me? Are you _kidding_ me?" Rachel was hustling around the room, infuriated. "Are you _fucking kidding me?"_ She shouted this time.

"Rachel, babe, calm down! It's not a big deal, seriously," Jenna stressed.

"Not a big deal? Not a big _deal?_" Rachel repeated.

"Being redundant is not making what you say any more important, Rach," Jenna laughed.

"You're laughing? This is _not _a time for laughing, Jenna! And don't call me pet names! This is not the time for those either," the brunette fumed.

"Rachel, it's a _book._ Are you seriously this upset over a _book?_" Jenna rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's dramatics but couldn't prevent her gaze from slipping to the corner of the room where _Undeniable_ lay, broken in half. Rachel had gone bat-shit crazy, completely psycho, and took it out on the poor thing. She had thrown it at anything is sight, causing Jenna to hide behind the door for a five minute timespan.

"It's not just a _book, _Jenna! It's an epic tale of romance! Or, it _should_ be! But this fucking _Lucy_ that you've been hanging out with, _Mrs. fucking LC _had to go and throw it down the toilet! She had a wonderful plot! Though I cannot say that the idea of star-crossed lovers is original, because it's not, the way the story was headed _was _different. _SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO AND RUIN SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" _Rachel's voice had slowly risen throughout the rant, but had reached a peak at the end.

"Rachel! Calm! Down!"

"Don't tell me to calm the fuck down!" the tiny brunette was practically shaking.

Jenna stayed silent, choosing to blankly stare at her melodramatic girlfriend instead of speaking.

"No. No, no, no, no. You're not allowed to just sit there in silence! No! Speak! Say something. Say anything!" Rachel demanded, but then reconsidered. "Well, anything except 'Calm down' because not only is that the last thing one should say while trying to calm someone else down, but this is simply not the time to calm down. Don't you understand the intrinsic value of this forsaken novel? Levin and Rebecca could have been _perfect_ together! They could have had that happy ever after that everyone craves! That feeling that everyone yearns for! The meaning of life, the joy of having _forever_ with someone! That state that makes us get on our knees, put our pride aside, and freaking _beg_ for whatever it is that will complete us! And they threw it away, Jenna! Like a piece of rubbish we see on the sidewalks every day. They could have had _it_, babe. Everything. But instead, they got _nothing_ because they weren't willing to admit it!" Rachel finished her rant with a flop onto the bed, stomach facing the ceiling. She brought her hands up to her face.

"They're idiots," she whispered.

"Rach, it's just a book," Jenna soothed. "It's not even real."

"But who ends a book like that?" Rachel stuck her lower lip out.

"Well, apparently Lucy. Oh, and fact; Rebecca was the only one who couldn't commit. Levin admitted his feelings, if you recall," Jenna corrected Rachel's previous observation.

Rachel tensed, breath caught in her throat. The similarities of this book to her life were uncanny and she really didn't want to think about that.

"Whatever. Semantics," the brunette snapped.

"Whoa there, tiger. No need for the vehemence," Jenna pulled back from the bite in Rachel's counter.

Releasing the air she'd been holding, Rachel sat up and apologized to her girlfriend. "It's just that, this story is really affecting me, and I'm not sure why. Can we just go?" She asked. It was finally Friday and time for the "We've finally finished the movie!" party that Jenna was catering for. It didn't start for about 8 hours, but Jenna had to make sure everything was in order.

The two women were dressed nicely, Rachel more so than Jenna as the latter would spend most of the night in the kitchen anyway. Jenna was in a nice blue dress that matched her eyes while Rachel wore a tighter black dress that flared below the waist and didn't reach her knees. Her dark hair worked well with the even darker dress, and her normally expressive brown eyes were brought out by her makeup in an extremely pleasing fashion. Jenna refrained from wearing any jewelry besides some small earrings and a necklace, while Rachel wore a thick silver bracelet in addition to the similar accessories she adorned.

"Yea, I guess so. Just... don't attack Lucy when you meet her, okay? I don't need you making a huge scene over the book not ending the way you wanted. It'll be embarrassing for all those involved, you little diva," Jenna warned.

Rachel scoffed. "Psh, me? Not professional? Diva? What is this myth you speak of?" Jenna stayed silent in response, giving Rachel a stern look.

"Okay, fine, I won't attack her with the faults of her storyline. I'll merely point them out in an organized, mature fashion so that she realizes the errors of her ways. That way, if she so desires to write a sequel or a wholly separate novel in the near or far future, she can keep in mind how nonsensical the ending of her first book was. I mean, really - the only thing that I can account as _undeniable _about her book is that it ended quite preposterously," Rachel prided herself on her own pun.

Jenna just rolled her eyes and thought, _Oh boy, it's going to be a long night._

* * *

_This wasn't supposed to happen_, Quinn thought. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. How did I let this happen? What was I thinking? What was she thinking? What were **w**_**e**_ thinking? Oh, yea, _**we weren't_._**

Quinn's mind raced as she found herself in a terrible predicament. Had she known what would have ensued upon entering her old apartment, she would have hightailed it out of there instantaneously. However, Quinn was no psychic and was therefore at a loss of words when she was greeted with the sight of a stark naked Madison near the foot of their old bed.

It was Friday, so the party was tonight. In fact, the party was in less than an hour. Quinn had quickly showered at the apartment she now shared with Santana and Brittany, but realized that the dress she wished to wear tonight was still in her old apartment. The one she had shared with Madison.

Though she had finally rented a new apartment for herself, she had yet to move anything in. That was the plan for the next day, if she wasn't too hung over. Santana and Brittany offered to help her move, especially since the apartment was right down the hall from them. _Right down the hall, next door, same thing,_ Quinn smiled. Santana had found out about the vacancy and demanded that Quinn rent the apartment saying that while she loved her friend, she was really cramping her style by mooching off their apartment. Also, she wanted Quinn close enough that she wouldn't run away again. And maybe, _just maybe, _she wanted Quinn close to her to make up for lost times.

That is what led the blonde to her current location, her old bedroom. She simply planned on grabbing the dress, adorning it, and then leaving. It was supposed to be in and out, 5 minutes tops.

Haphazardly, Quinn was in for less than a minute when she caught her first sight a Madison.

Frozen in place, Quinn just stared, no words escaping her slack-jawed mouth. Madison, too, stood stock still. Quinn's gaze inadvertently slid downward, no longer adhered to Madison's own gaze. It was like she was seeing Madison's body for the first time.

Quinn practically choked on the dryness of her throat, so she attempted to clear it. The sound seemed to break her out of her trance. "Cold?" she teased. The apartment was too warm for what Quinn was suggesting, as Madison's body betrayed her. _What the hell, Quinn? That's practically flirting! It's like foreplay by dialogue! What are you doing?_

Madison's mind seemed to crash back to reality as well, as she inherently pounced on Quinn, who didn't put up much of a fight. Or any, really.

Which lead to the present situation of Quinn lying naked next to Madison, her ex-girlfriend, and realizing that she was late to her own party. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

* * *

"I just don't understand it. First she writes this 'epic' novel, - epically impractical if you ask me - then she gets a movie made for her based on said novel, and finally she throws this huge celebration to show that she's come full circle and that everything is finished, polished to the point of pristine, and then she doesn't even show up? Who _does_ that?" Rachel flung her hands up in the air in desperation.

Jenna just shook her head and steered Rachel out of the kitchen. Her employees were stressed enough as it was, and Rachel's onslaught of words wasn't helping anything. Turning her girlfriend around, Jenna looked Rachel in the eyes and tried to snap the crazy out of her.

"Rachel, she's just running late, and you're just upset that you can't verbally blitz her with demands of an explanation. So go out there, drink some alcohol, do _something. _But babe, _please _stay out of the kitchen." With that, Jenna turned on her heel and walked back into her domain. She couldn't deal with Rachel's erratic behavior right now - she had a job to do.

Rachel simply huffed at being dismissed and stomped over to a boy carrying around a tray of champagne. She took two glasses, downed one, put the empty glass back onto the tray and walked away. Sipping the second glass (okay, false, she was already almost done with it), she made her way over to one of the many tables with food on it.

She refused to look around for familiar faces as right now she didn't want to talk to anyone. Admittedly, she didn't doubt that if forced to communicate with someone in her current state she would probably end up attacking them, and no one needed her to jump on their back like a spider monkey, biting ears. No, that simply wouldn't do. Plus, Jenna would be upset with her, for good reason.

Rachel didn't know what set her so high on edge today, but she felt that somehow speaking to this Lucy person would fix it. It was like Lucy knew something Rachel didn't and she needed to have a word with her. Almost like she needed to alleviate a worry that ran deep down within her.

Before Rachel could spend too much time worrying, everyone around her started hollering random things. Ears ringing, Rachel turned to her left to see what was making everyone suddenly lose their minds.

Due to her short height, Rachel couldn't see much of anything. _Oh!_ Rachel had an epiphany, realizing the only reason for this kind of chaos was the author's appearance. Rachel felt reassured in her assumption when someone grabbed a microphone and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome to the lady that gave us all jobs for the last half of the year! LC!" Cheers followed the announcement, and Rachel felt her ears dreading the night already.

Completely unmoved by the whole process, Rachel tried to push her way through to the kitchen. Her small stature made the process quite easy.

_Sure, everyone cheer for the late arrival. Late for her own party._

Unknowingly, Rachel was headed for where the crowd had parted to let Quinn through in order to reach the mini stage that had been set up for the occasion.

Stumbling into the chasm, Rachel felt many gazes turn from the direction she assumed LC to be in to her. Rachel pursed her lips knowing that they were all probably thinking the tiny brunette was just a light weight who was a little unhinged a tad too early.

Straightening herself out, she turned to where this goddess of an author was supposed to be and felt her eyes widen as big a saucers. From head to toe the woman was every bit a goddess Jenna had described, except she was so much more. She was in black heels that just _dared _the woman to take a wrong step and a knee-length dress so red that Rachel felt the devil himself had made his way from Hell to personally deliver. Matching red lipstick garnished astoundingly perfect lips (that were currently forming an 'o' shape) and amazing blonde hair was stylishly curled in loose waves that seemed to contradict the devilish red with its heavenly innocence. The angelic features of her face again served as a deception as her dress was anything but innocent, if the display of skin had anything to say about it.

But most importantly were the startled hazel eyes. Eyes that could make angels weep, could make anyone swoon if they so pleased, and hell, they could probably cure most diseases. Green lined the outside of those eyes and met a crisp golden brown in the middle, leaving the two colors swirling into a depth that no mere human could ever reach. The smoky makeup surrounding that extraordinary hazel could only accentuate the depths those sparkling eyes could reach, making the delve into them even more inconceivable.

Not that Rachel could actually see the author's eyes that clearly from so far away, she merely knew it to be true. Rachel couldn't have been best friends with the woman for almost two years and _not_ remember such things. Absorbing every ounce of the blonde that she could, Rachel realized that the overwhelming emotions that had been piling up all day were about to tumble out, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

It had only been a few seconds since Rachel had stammered into the makeshift walkway, but it felt like an eternity to her. She saw that her old friend must have gone through a similar experience and neglected to notice the glass slipping out of her hand until it crashed to the ground and shattered. The noise hadn't fully died down yet, so while the noise was noticeable, it wasn't like some movie where everyone notices and Rachel is lost in her own world and time freezes.

No, instead Rachel just takes a step forward, right hand reaching out in disbelief before she can stop it.

"Quinn?" her throat is as parched as any desert and the question comes out hoarse, but still coherent.

"Oh, shit."

* * *

**I'm sure you hate me. Flashback next chapter if that helps.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I feel the need to clarify something: I didn't actually know Undeniable was an existing fanfic when I made it the title of the movie. I found this out about ten minutes after naming it just so... and I couldn't find it within myself to change the name because I've already planned things out around it...so... yea. Though I have changed future names because, creepily, I intended on having characters named Jordan and Naomi... wtf.**

**By the way, though I haven't finished reading it yet, as I only began reading after I posted my last chapter, it's kind of amazing. Don't know how I haven't stumbled upon it before now, but oh well. I highly suggest it as reading material to you guys.**

**That said any similarities are completely coincidental. Sorry. Honestly, I've already had to change a few parts of my storyline because they so eerily matched up with that story, and I'm kind of upset that I read as much as I did because now it's like I feel I cannot incorporate all that I was going to :(**

**Graduation and all of its annoyances are now over, so my updates should be back on schedule from now on.**

**Here's the flashback chapter some of you have been waiting for, it's super-duper long.**

* * *

"Quinn?" I heard, the question falling from a pair of lips belonging to the last woman I ever wanted to see again. It sounded positively arid; I felt the urge to clear my throat as well as the need to drink some water just listening to it. The glass shattering barely even registered in my overstimulated mind.

_This can't be happening_, s_he can't be here. I'm hallucinating._

Rachel just couldn't _be here_, and especially not in _that_ dress. That dress that made her entire being look spectacular, that made my heart clench in places that I promised myself would never clench for her again. It was a cruel twist of fate for Rachel to literally stumble back into my life tonight of all nights.

I couldn't even begin to formulate full thoughts. All I could do was take her in because I was never supposed to see her again, and yet, here she is standing in front of me looking even more beautiful than she did in college. I saw from her gaze that she was absorbing everything about me as well, and I could not for the life of me bring myself to process all the rapidly flying sensations within me.

Hence why, like the dumbfounded fool I was in this moment, I could only manage to sputter, "Oh, shit."

* * *

_"I don't think this is going to work, Quinn," Rachel said with finality._

_"You've been at this for a solid ten minutes now, and while I commend your efforts, even I feel it's been an extended amount of time and am willing to admit defeat," her voice continued to chime from Quinn's computer._

_"Oh come on, I've just gotta find the right button or something, give me a break, Rach," Quinn said exhaustedly. Rachel's impatience was, and will always be, worse than little kids asking "Are we there yet?" in the backseat of a car. On a ten hour road trip, no doubt._

_"I've already given you a break," Rachel joked. "Five minutes ago." Under her breath she added a mumbled, "So much for getting into Yale..."_

_"Hey! I heard that," Quinn accused as she glared at an empty screen. Before Rachel could respond, a third voice was added to the mix._

_"What are you doing, Quinn? Because it looks like you're talking to a blank computer screen, and I thought you told me you **weren't **crazy? If this is what you deem as sane then I'm going to have to contest your reasoning." The voice sounded sweet, if a bit quiet, though in its current state it was playful and teasing. Rachel found herself smiling at the spoken words, thinking that she might have said something similar given the chance._

_Quinn's roommate made her way from the doorway over to the mysteriously non-functional laptop. Rachel saw the girl as she moved into view of the camera and took a good look at her. She didn't need to worry about being caught staring while she analyzed because Quinn couldn't see Rachel, but Rachel could see Quinn._

_Julie had mousy brown hair, pale skin, and though the camera quality wasn't the best, it looked like she might have freckles. The freckles were most prominent on her nose, which was suiting for her, as it was one of those perfect button noses. She was smaller than Quinn, probably closer to Rachel's size, and had thin glasses that framed pale eyes. Rachel couldn't detect the actual color of them, unfortunately. They might have been grey, but they also might have been light blue._

_Either way, Rachel thought she was pretty in a quiet-girl kind of way and she seemed nice enough from what Quinn had already told her. Rachel wasn't one to make snap judgments of anyone, but she felt certain that Julie was probably similar to Tina; quiet and nice in a genuine way._

_Though Quinn did say that once in a while the girl would talk in even bigger paragraphs than Rachel, and that was an accomplishment. At the time, Rachel had scoffed. Now things had changed and she already felt fond of the girl, if only because she missed Tina. She missed everyone from the club, if she was honest with herself._

_"Julieeeeeee," Quinn whined. "Help me out, the camera or something is being stupid and my screen is blank when it clearly should not be. I'm **attempting**-" She was cut off._

_"And failing, I presume?"_

_"To Skype," she finished._

_"She's technologically crippled and won't listen to direction. She's actually similar to a man driving and refusing to ask for help, instead insisting that the map is correct and everybody else is wrong; she refuses to see reason," Julie heard Quinn's computer say._

_"You're computer seems to think it's not her fault," Julie laughed. "Who's there?" she asked looking at the computer._

_"It's my best friend, Rachel. The one I'm forever texting."_

_"Well let's see what this Rachel looks like then," Julie said reaching down and in front of Quinn to grab the mouse. She clicked a few things and hummed in success._

_As the mousy girl had predicted, Rachel's face appeared on Quinn's screen, and the two looked at each other for the first time since Quinn visited Rachel for a day in the city. Quinn noted Rachel's bemused expression and released a, "Don't look so smug," through tight lips. So maybe her pride was a little hurt._

_In mock surrender, Rachel raised her hands in front of her. "It only took Julie all of three seconds to figure out whatever you couldn't. I believe I have a right to bask in the fact that Miss Yale does not know how to work a computer."_

_Quinn just pouted in response, not really having any defense. "Whatever, books don't have buttons, you jerk."_

_Laughing at Quinn's expense, Rachel thanked Julie for fixing the camera, or whatever she did._

_"No problem. Nice meeting you, Rachel. Quinn never shuts up about you, so I guess it's been due," Julie said, causing Quinn's face to turn a shade of red._

_"Oh really? What kind of things does she say? I should hope any information she considers worthy enough to share isn't embarrassing or anything of that genre," Rachel smiled at Julie, but quickly darted a questioning look to Quinn._

_Quinn just looked down and Julie laughed saying, "Oh no, nothing like that. Just how talented you are and how amazing your voice is and the like." Quinn's head snapped up at this. "I have to agree, you have a really great voice from what I've heard on Quinn's ipo-" Julie was cut off by Quinn's hand. Glaring at her roommate, Quinn asked, "Don't you have homework or something?" Instead of answering, Julie stuck her tongue out, essentially licking Quinn's hand which caused the blonde to shriek._

_Rachel, having witnessed the aforementioned events, just watched on, amused by the entire situation._

_After Quinn convinced Julie to leave and Rachel told her it was nice meeting her, Rachel raised an eyebrow to Quinn._

_"What?" the blonde asked, even though she knew exactly what that look was for._

_"Talented, huh?" the brunette teased._

_Quinn rolled her eyes but answered with, "I liked Julie better when she was quiet and didn't talk to me. And shut up, you know you are."_

_"Well, I like to think so," she winked, "But Julie seems to know from firsthand experience. Something about an iPod? I think that's what she was saying before you cut her off, anyway." She was mostly teasing, but part of her was truly curious about the iPod part._

_Quinn's only response was to remain silent and she didn't exactly appear to be willing to crack anytime soon._

_"Quiiiiiiiiiiiin," Rachel pouted, bottom lip trembling. For some reason, she found it worked on her blonde friend._

_Sighing, Quinn mumbled, "I have a song or two on my iPod that you sang."_

_"Which one?"_

_Quinn bit her lip and avoided any form of eye contact. Instead, she had focused her gaze on Rachel's dorm room._

_"Quinn, which one? It's not that big of a deal," Rachel prodded. "I'm flattered, really."_

_"What's that on your wall over there?" Quinn asked, eyes focused on some wall decoration._

_Almost fooled into asking what her friend was talking about, Rachel turned back to the screen. She had turned on instinct to see what Quinn had asked about._

_"Quinn," she warned. In reply, an unintelligible stream of words came out of her friend's mouth. "I don't exactly have supersonic hearing, Quinn. You'll have to be louder."_

_"I said she really liked Get It Right," Quinn repeated louder._

_Rachel paused for a moment, confused. "You have me singing that on your iPod? How have I never noticed? And how did you even get it on there?"_

_"This is why I avoid telling you these things," Quinn mentally facepalmed for letting Rachel even find out in the first place._

_"Fine, ignore those questions. How many other songs do you have of me singing?"_

_Instead of letting Rachel know how embarrassed she was by all this, Quinn finally just decided to put on a brave face._

**_It's not embarrassing if I embrace it, right? _**_Quinn thought. "Almost all the songs you've ever sang in Glee Club." Her face could have easily won any poker game._

_Rachel's jaw dropped a bit, her eyes widened, and her eyebrows came together. Though she should look absolutely ridiculous in her dramatics, Quinn found she looked tremendously adorable._

**_As if she ever didn't_**_, the thought invaded Quinn's mind before she could prevent it._

* * *

_"How's Ashley? I feel like we never talk about her. We talk about Julie a lot, and you now know a bunch of embarrassing things about me because of her, and yet all I know of Ashley is that she's your roommate and she's not awful," Quinn inquired._

_"She, umm, she's... very assuming," Rachel wavered._

_"Okay, I lied. I also knew that, but only because that's all you ever say when I ask!"_

_"She's basically Santana, just way less... Santana," Rachel went with._

_"Because that makes **so **much sense" Quinn rolled her eyes, annoyed._

_"Well... she's very crude most of the time, though she's lessened on her efforts now that I've clarified to her that I am not-" Rachel cut herself off immediately. Quinn didn't fail to miss the completely botched attempt Rachel made to take back her words._

_"Rach... what aren't you telling me?"_

_Ready for the conversation or not, Rachel knew she wasn't going to be able to **not** tell Quinn at this point. She'd managed to postpone this moment for over a month, so she took that as a consolation prize. "Well, two weeks ago I asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she laughed. Then she told me that she 'Doesn't do relationships', but if she did, it'd be with a girl."_

_Quinn paused for a second, and then tilted her head. "So, she's gay?" _

_"Yes, that appears to be the case," Rachel admitted. Obviously, the brunette had no problems with having a gay roommate. She'd be the biggest hypocrite ever if she did. So, while she was comfortable with it, she just simply hadn't expected it. It was an unforeseen situation, and Rachel wondered what Quinn would think. Though, she knew Quinn wouldn't really care either, seeing as Santana was simultaneously one of her best friends and extremely sexual._

_In truth, the real worry was what Rachel had **really** been hiding from Quinn._

_"Okaaaaay," Quinn said slowly. "I don't get it. Why would you hide something like that for as long as you did? You know nothing like that bothers me."_

_Rachel bit her lip; all the pros and cons she had been thinking of for the last week flooded her mind. **To tell Quinn, or not to tell Quinn**, she worried._

_"Well, that's not what I was hiding," Rachel looked down. "I mean, at first, I didn't think it was important, and so I figured it was irrelevant and not really my place to tell you her sexuality. Then I found out that she's completely out and doesn't care who knows, so I felt I was able to tell you. I did ask her first, though." _

_"Rach, you can tell me anything, come on," Quinn said, concern seeping through her words. Had they physically been in the same room, the blonde would have been holding her best friend in some way, shape, or form, and it irked her that she couldn't._

_"Shehasafriendthataskedmeout," the words spewed from Rachel's lips. Before Quinn could take that the wrong way and think that she was still freaking out over Finn, Rachel added a hurried, "A friend that is a girl."_

_When Quinn processed what she had just heard, her eyebrows rose in amusement. Laughing, she connected her gaze with Rachel's through the monitor, cheek resting in her hand. Rachel had kept her eyes down, but upon hearing the laughter, she looked up._

_"What's so funny about someone asking me out?" she asked, perplexed, and a little hurt, by Quinn's reaction._

_"Oh, no, Rach, I'm not laughing because someone asked you out. There's no reason someone **shouldn't **ask you out. I'm laughing because I can only imagine how that conversation went, and I wish I could have seen it," Quinn explained._

_"What do you mean?" Rachel asked nervously._

_"Well, we all know how you talk in paragraphs when you're nervous. I wouldn't be shocked if you prepared a PowerPoint for her explaining that just because you have two gay dads, a gay roommate, and a few gay friends, it doesn't make you gay. Or something like that," Quinn joked. _

_An uncomfortable silence made its way into the conversation._

_"...Rach?" Quinn questioned, noticing Rachel's uneasiness._

_Swallowing the lump in her throat, Rachel made the decision to just tell Quinn. _

_"I said yes."_

_"Said yes? To what?" Quinn was confused. Rachel was talking about being asked by a girl, Quinn joked about how she probably went into some huge explanation trying to say no, and Rachel said "I said yes."_

_"Oh. **Oh,**" Quinn's eyes widened. "You said yes to going on a date... with a girl?"_

_Unable to speak, Rachel just nodded._

_Struggling to keep her facial features neutral, Quinn asked, "What's her name?"_

_"Um," Rachel cleared her throat. "Avery."_

* * *

_After being tackle hugged by her tiny friend, Quinn had brought Rachel back to her dorm room. They had been lying on her bed talking about college life when Quinn couldn't wait anymore._

_"So. Avery." There was no question, just a statement._

_"I knew we'd get to her eventually," Rachel sighed._

_"Well, yea. When we fought over boys throughout high school and suddenly you go out on a date with a girl after a mere month and a half of college, I find myself intrigued," Quinn explained._

_"Truthfully, it was amazing. Completely different than any date with Finn." Quinn took in a sharp breath. For almost the last two months, Rachel had hesitated to say the boy's name. Her heart had clenched a little bit every time because she hated knowing that Rachel was hurting inside. The girl was staying strong, but Quinn knew that she still wasn't completely over Finn. They didn't even know what Finn wanted Rachel to do, seeing as Rachel just kind of left and Finn didn't ask Rachel to wait for him or anything. _

_Reaching for Rachel's hand, Quinn gave it a reassuring squeeze. When Rachel immediately returned the gesture, Quinn smiled. She looked over to her friend, watching her stare at the ceiling. A small smile formed on her face when she told Quinn about her date. _

_Rachel told Quinn that Avery was a very interesting girl. She was going to school for photography, but she was also an amazing dancer, so she double majored. In fact, Avery had met Ashley at some competition years ago and had been close friends ever since._

_They went to see some local band play, and Rachel noted that the music was pretty decent and the musicians were actually commendable. Afterwards, they went to a club where they met up with a few of Avery's friends, including Ashley. Rachel didn't want to drink, so Avery didn't either, and Quinn felt that maybe she'd actually like Avery. She knew she was going to be hard on the girl; after Finn, Quinn didn't want to see Rachel hurt ever again by someone she cared about._

_Rachel continued her story to tell Quinn that she and Avery had danced and clowned around, and Rachel even said, "To be honest, it was the most fun I've had in a while. So when she asked to hang out another night, I said yes."_

_Quinn had enjoyed listening to Rachel retelling the story up until that part. Rachel was going on another date with the girl? That was unexpected. She sort of figured that it would be a one-time thing. More like she hoped. _

_Quinn blinked. Why would she hope something like that? Avery made Rachel happy, so she should want it to be more than a one-time thing._

* * *

_"Rachel, what was your initial reaction to Avery asking you out?" Quinn asked. She and Rachel had been talking on the phone for over two hours now, but the conversation had mostly been about random college topics up until now._

_"That's random, Quinn," Rachel pointed out._

_"I know... I was just wondering. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Quinn really wanted to know, but she wasn't going to push Rachel into answering if she didn't want to._

_"Oh, Quinn, you know I'd tell you anything you wanted to know. You're my best friend!" Quinn knew Rachel said that to be reassuring, but she couldn't help the way her stomach tightened to the point of pain. "Well, I'm not sure exactly. It was, what, three weeks ago? Hmm..."_

_"Three weeks and one day, Rach," Quinn corrected. _

_"I'm glad **you **know. Usually I'm the one obsessing over dates, but Avery's really getting me to loosen up. Fortunately not with my studies, but with daily things. It's actually kind of freeing, not worrying about every aspect of my life."_

_"Raaaaach," Quinn pleaded on the other side of the line._

_"Oh, yea, sorry! Well, let's see. I remember feeling weird. Not as if I was weirded out, but like I wasn't rushing to say no. Or to show her a PowerPoint explaining that all the gay in my life didn't influence my sexual orientation," Rachel mocked, bringing Quinn's comment from a while ago back into play._

_"Hey! How was I supposed to know? You've never shown interest in girls before," Quinn defended herself._

_Rachel was quiet for a moment before answering. She definitely **had** shown interest in girls before, it's just that no one, not even herself, had noticed._

_"That's because I didn't really know I **was** interested until the situation was thrust upon me. I knew she was pretty, but I didn't acknowledge that she was more than that until she asked me out. Then it was as if everything connected in my mind, and I realized that maybe I could like a girl. It wasn't some huge moment, it was just **a** moment."_

_"Hmm. I understand, I think."_

_"Why do you want to know?"_

_"No reason," Quinn deflected. _

_"Quinn, I can tell when you're lying. I'm gonna repeat what I said earlier; We. are. best. friends."_

_"Well... there's this girl in my writing class..." Quinn said quietly. "And nothing particular drew me to her until she read this poem the other day, and ever since I've been confused."_

_"What was the poem about?" Rachel asked, thinking she knew where this conversation was headed._

_"It wasn't the poem itself; it was the imagery within it. The author was describing this girl he knew as a child, and how the sun would shine on her face when they would sit at the edge of a nearby lake. How the grass would curl towards her fingers as they threaded their way in between blades, reaching towards her perfection. He claimed that he just knew that everything would be okay as long as she was near, because no way could something as perfect as that girl exist in a place where bad things happened. And, well, this image popped into my head, and it was..."_

_"Was what, Quinn?" Rachel urged her friend on._

**_You,_**_ Quinn thought._

_"A girl. And maybe it was just because of the poem, but while I listened, I pictured my perfect person, you know? Someone I could look at and think of in the same way that this author did. I wanted to be able to relate to him. The professor actually told us to sit in silence and picture perfection in the form of a person, and I really tried, but no male image popped into my head. And I kind of panicked," Quinn spouted. **I panicked because the image of you, my best friend, wouldn't leave my mind. And worse, I didn't even want it to, **she thought._

* * *

_"Quinn!" Rachel shouted, excitedly hopping over to Quinn and jumping into her arms. Seeing Rachel basically sprinting over to her, Quinn knew she didn't have time to do anything other than drop her bags, so she did just that. _

_"Rach!" Quinn murmured into her friend's ear. They spun around a time or two before Quinn let Rachel down, but Rachel didn't let go._

_"I missed you so much. Nothing compares to actually **seeing** you, you know," the tiny girl said, finally pulling back if only a little._

_I missed you, too," the blonde said while brushing some of Rachel's hair behind her ear. The two just smiled goofily at each other before the sound of a clearing throat interrupted their moment._

_"Oh, Quinn! This is Avery!" Rachel beamed, looking back and forth between her best friend and her girlfriend of two months._

_"Hi Avery, nice to finally meet you," Quinn said politely while offering her hand._

_The other girl took it, while replying, "Nice to meet you, too. Rachel's told me so much about you."_

_"Hah, all good things I hope," Quinn laughed, remembering a similar conversation between Julie and Rachel over Skype._

_"Like Rachel could ever say anything bad about you," Avery scoffed. "If you weren't straight, I'd be worrying about you two riding off into the sunset together."_

_Quinn blanched, her gaze snapping over to meet Rachel's. She tried to telepathically communicate with her, their faces saying things that their mouths couldn't._

**_She doesn't know?_**

**_It wasn't my place to tell her._**

**_This makes things awkward._**

_"Uh, um, yea," Quinn said pathetically. _

_She looked Avery over quickly. She was pretty, Quinn had to admit. She was taller than Quinn, and had olive-toned skin, with green eyes to match. Her long hair was a golden, almost dirty, blonde, and it looked like the waves currently presenting themselves were natural. _

_Linking arms with her best friend, Quinn bent over to grab her two bags in one hand. "Let's get some food, I'm hungry," she stated. Rachel smiled and made a noise of agreement, beginning to walk._

_Both missed the look of muted suspicion in Avery's eyes._

* * *

_"Quinn, I won't be able to contact you for a few days, and I know you're in your last class before break officially starts by now, so that's why I'm leaving you a message. I know we've both been busy lately. Okay, I've been busy, and I've been a terrible friend. I deeply apologize. Do you forgive me? Anyway, Avery is taking me to visit her family for Thanksgiving and insists I leave my phone behind. She said she doesn't want any distractions this weekend. So, I just wanted to let you know that. I'll call you as soon as I get back! And sorry for not telling you sooner, but I just found out myself. She wanted to surprise me. I know we planned on hanging out and I promise I'll make it up to you. Tell everyone I said hi? I love you and I'll see you soon!"_

_Quinn couldn't help the disappointment that filled her when she listened to what Rachel was telling her. Fortunately, she also couldn't prevent the smile that broke through at the last part. She knew Rachel meant it in a completely platonic way, but it was enough._

* * *

_"Hi!" Quinn heard Rachel's voice after too many rings and released a huge breath. She wasn't sure if the girl would answer. They had been talking less and less of late; Rachel had been dating Avery for almost three months now and the two were inseparable. _

_Rachel was ever the polite girlfriend, refusing to text anyone when spending time with her. When they had started dating, Rachel would text Quinn often, but Avery claimed it was the same thing as talking to someone else in person, thus ignoring her. Rachel saw her point and couldn't argue._

_Just as Quinn was about to greet her absent-of-late friend, she realized her mistake._

_"You've reached Rachel Barbra Berry, future Broadway starlet! Leave me a message and I **might **just get back to you."_

_Quinn's shoulders dropped and she felt the water pool in her eyes. The playful tone in Rachel's voice was like salt in the wound as Quinn hadn't heard it in so long. Quite frankly, it had been more than two weeks and considering the longest they'd gone before that was four days, Quinn was basically dying._

_"Rachel... I need to talk to you. I just need you, actually. Call me back, please," Quinn said, voice cracking with the word 'please'. Quinn didn't know what was going on, but with the messages getting worse she was beginning to become paranoid that Rachel was intentionally ignoring her._

_Lying on her bed waiting for Rachel to call her, Quinn closed her eyes and cried. Hours later, Julie found her roommate sleeping curled up in a ball, dark mascara-clad tear tracks lining her face. The girl's phone was lying next to her, and when Julie touched the screen to see what time it was, it lit up to a text from an unknown number. Though not intending to pry on her roommate's life, Julie couldn't help but notice the cruel words glowing back at her._

_"Reason #5 proving that you're an undeserving bitch: She debated killing herself because of you."_

_"Oh, Quinn," Julie whispered, running her small hand over the girl's shoulder._

* * *

**_I need just need you, actually._**_ Rachel had no idea what had Quinn so upset, but she felt like the worst friend in the world looking at her missed call from two days ago. She had left her phone at her dorm over the weekend and she had just gotten back from her trip with Avery. They went camping at some place six hours away from campus, and while Rachel couldn't say it was the best experience of her life, it was definitely an adventure. She used to hate camping, but she found that it actually wasn't terrible with someone she cared about. _

_"Ave, I have to call Quinn back. She sounded really upset over something," Rachel called over her shoulder. Since she didn't actually turn to look back, she missed the dark look that clouded Avery's usually pretty features. _

_However, instead of Quinn answering like Rachel expected, the call was sent directly to voicemail._

_"Hey Quinn, it's me. Is everything alright? Well, I mean, clearly something happened for you to leave me that message, but you're not answering so that means that your situation improved or it got worse. In fact, it went right to voicemail, which leads me to believe your phone is off, and I highly doubt that this means good news. I'm worried, so call me when you get this. I'm sorry I didn't answer, Avery made me leave my phone here over the weekend." Rachel stopped talking for a second, trying to think of what to say next. "Quinn, I'm really worried. I can't even bring out my mind-thesaurus to express it in different words. We haven't talked in a while, I know, and I'm sorry. I've just been so busy. **Call me, Quinn," **she stressed. "I love you."_

* * *

_"Holy shit, Quinn," Rachel exclaimed. "You've lost so much weight! Are you even eating?" The brunette was gaping at her friend's horrible appearance. _

_"Yes," Quinn said in a clipped voice._

_"Why won't you talk to me anymore? We're best friends!" Rachel was frustrated with Quinn. Ever since Rachel missed Quinn's frantic call over a month ago, Quinn had pulled back from their friendship._

_"Are we?" Quinn asked, expression blank._

_"What do you mean by that?" Rachel asked, shocked that not only did Quinn ask that, but she did so with no emotion whatsoever. _

_"Rach, do you forgive me for high school?" Quinn's monotone voice rang out._

_"Quinn, what is this about?"_

_"Answer the question. Please," she added as if it was an afterthought._

_"Of course I do. I forgave you a long time ago. Quinn, what's wrong?" Rachel was starting to feel desperate. Something was **wrong** with Quinn and she wanted to know what it was so she could fix it. _

_Instead of answering, Quinn just stared at the screen. _

_"Quinn! Talk to me! Don't block me out!" Rachel demanded._

_"I don't deserve you as a friend," Quinn cried. Literally, Rachel noticed the glint of light reflected off of her best friend's tears._

_"What are you talking about? Who said that?"_

_"It's true, you know. I was awful. I thought I forgave myself, but I haven't. Not yet. Nor will I ever, at this point," Quinn said flatly._

_Rachel didn't say anything for a few moments as she was completely lost in the entire situation. She had no clue what caused Quinn to regress back to this stage of thinking. They had become so close over the last year, and yet Quinn was doubting it all over again._

_"Quinn. You need to tell me right now what the hell is going on." Rachel left no room for argument._

_"I got a text a while back, and I've received one every few days ever since."_

_"Okay," Rachel said, waiting for more. When Quinn didn't add anything, she prodded, "And?"_

_"Every text starts the same, but then they begin to differentiate. Each one tells me a different reason I don't deserve to have you in my life. And each one is true, they never lie."_

_"If they tell you that you don't deserve to have me in your life, then they **are **lies, Quinn."_

_"I made you cry every day for a straight month sophomore year, truth or lie?"_

_"Quinn! What the hell?"_

_"Truth. or. lie?" Quinn bit back._

_"I'm not answering that. It doesn't matter."_

_"TRUTH OR LIE RACHEL?" Quinn yelled, shocking Rachel and reminding her of high school all over again. It wasn't exactly the HBIC Quinn she had grown to fear, but it was close. She hadn't called her Berry or any other old nicknames, so that was good._

_"Truth," Rachel whispered, "but it's in the past, and I don't even know who would know that."_

_"You didn't eat for two days after I made a comment about your weight one time, truth or lie?"_

_Rachel froze. No one knew about that. Rachel had never told anyone about that, not even her fathers. She had a healthy body image, and felt like an idiot after letting simple words affect her so much as to stop eating. She had only made it to two days because she was too hungry to not eat, and as a vegan she usually ate many meals throughout the day in order to maintain her weight. _

_"How...?"_

_"You refrained from taking an AP course because you knew I'd be in it, truth or lie?"_

_"STOP THIS, QUINN!"_

_"I can't. I can't because I need you to understand the truth. I **don't** deserve you, and I never will. I love you, Rach, and it's the best karma of all because I'll never earn your love back."_

_Before Rachel could respond, before she could beg Quinn to see reason, Quinn ended the video call._

* * *

_"Quinn, open the door now! I know you're in there! Julie told me so."_

_"Julie's an idiot and should mind her own business."_

_"Quinn!" Rachel said, exasperated. _

_Surprisingly, Rachel actually heard metal unlatch and saw the door open, revealing her best friend, whether or not the other girl accepted the label._

_Not giving Quinn any time to regret her actions, Rachel jumped on her, wrapping her arms around her as tight as possible. Quinn stood frozen, body tense. _

_"I missed you so much, you have no idea. And then you hung up on that stupid Skype call. Did you honestly not expect me to come running over here?" Rachel cried._

_Quinn tried to swallow the lump in her throat, tried to prevent the tears threatening to spill, tried to prevent her heart from clenching in all the most sensitive places. She tried not to smell Rachel's hair, tried not to feel anything. She failed in all of these and wrapped her arms around the girl she so desperately craved to have in her life, yet simultaneously knew she could never have in the ways she wanted. In the ways she needed._

_They held each other for a long time, not even noticing that time was passing. Quinn tightened her grip, trying to evaporate any space between them. Rachel didn't resist, only moved her face closer to Quinn's neck, forehead resting on the smooth skin below Quinn's ear._

_"I missed you, too," Quinn choked out._

_Eventually, the two began to slowly loosen their hold until they stood unbearably close without actually holding each other and Quinn couldn't bare the proximity that represented only friendship to Rachel._

_Stepping back, she asked, "How long are you here for?"_

_She expected an answer of a limited amount of hours, or a day, or something like that. She was completely taken aback when Rachel said, "Until you don't need me."_

_The tears that had died down came back full force, and Quinn fell onto her friend, their positions in switched from just a few minutes ago._

_"I'll always need you, Rach," she whispered._

_"Then I'll always be here."_

* * *

_"How'd you sleep?" Rachel asked Quinn from the foot of the bed. She was already dressed and ready for the day, while Quinn had just woken up. **My hair is probably a mess,** Quinn though._

_"Better than I have for the past few months," Quinn said honestly, even though she knew it would've been better to wake up with Rachel still in her arms._

_Still, she felt more alive than she had for a while. She felt like she could finally breathe again. _

_Why she had listened to those messages, she'd never know. Their friendship was stronger than that. Quinn needed to get over herself, and if the past few days were what it took, then she hoped she never had to go through that again, because it was hell._

_Rachel sent her a dazzling smile before ripping the blanket off of her friend. "Then get up silly, because we're going to have an even better day. We've missed too much time together, and this weekend is going to make up for that."_

_"It's Friday, Rach," Quinn realized._

_"Yes, it is. Thank you, Sherlock. Now hurry up," she said, grabbing Quinn's feet and pushing them off the bed. Next, she stood in front of Quinn, who was now sitting sideways._

_"You're missing classes, because it's Friday," Quinn reiterated. _

_"No, I'm missing classes because you're my best friend and you're worth it," Rachel correct, grabbing Quinn's hands and pulling her off the bed. She pulled too hard, though, and the two almost fell onto the floor. Quinn grabbed around Rachel's waist to steady her, though, and they remained standing._

_Rachel's breath hitched and she took a step back. "Thanks," she mumbled. Quinn just looked down, feeling heat rise to her face._

_"Now go get ready," Rachel chided, pushing Quinn towards the hallway, which would lead her to the bathroom._

* * *

_"Thank for the amazing day, Rach. For the amazing weekend in general, actually," Quinn said quietly so as not to wake up Julie, who was sleeping on the other side of the room._

_"Thank you for being my best friend," Rachel said in reply. She turned so she could cuddle into Quinn. The latter had no problem with the new position and merely moved her arms to better wrap them around the smaller girl._

_"Oh my god! I never texted Avery to tell her I was coming back tomorrow!" Rachel suddenly realized. She really didn't want to move, though. She was tired and Quinn's arms were extremely comfortable._

_"No worries, I can reach your phone from here. Want me to just text her for you?" Quinn offered, slightly distraught that Rachel was thinking of Avery at the current moment._

**_She's not your girlfriend, Quinn, _**_she remembered bitterly._

_Reaching over slightly to grab Rachel's phone, she opened the contact list and searched for Avery's name. She was pleased to see that there was nothing stupid like a heart or something next to her name. Quickly, she scrolled down to her own name. _

**_Quinn :)_**_ glowed in front of her eyes and she felt a huge rush of warmth. **Take that, Avery!** she couldn't refrain from thinking._

_"Quinn?" Rachel looked up to see what her friend was humming about. Quinn was glad it was dark in the room because her blush would have been extremely telling otherwise. She hadn't realized she had hummed in excitement._

_"I was just noticing the smiley next to my name," Quinn decided to be honest. She was always honest with Rachel._

_"Oh," Rachel said, and Quinn thought that maybe the smaller girl was embarrassed. She felt a quick release of breath on her neck and goosebumps sprouted all over her skin._

_She pressed her thumb against Avery's name and her contact information claimed the screen. Quinn was about to press "Text Message" when she noticed the number that accompanied the name._

_Quinn felt her whole body tense, and she knew that Rachel felt it too._

_"Quinn, what's wrong?" Rachel asked._

_Quinn squeezed her eyes shut for a second then opened them and quickly sent Avery a text that said, "Be back tomorrow."_

_"Nothing, Rach. Let's just go to sleep, please?"_

_"Okay..." Rachel decided to let whatever it was go for the moment. She'd talk about it tomorrow._

_Burrowing further into Quinn, the brunette fell asleep soon enough, and Quinn soaked up the moment. She knew nothing like this would happen again anytime soon. She really wanted to bask in the moment, because she knew she'd never forget it._

* * *

_"Quinn, Avery would never do something like that!" Rachel defended her girlfriend._

_"Why would I lie to you Rach? I've never lied to you since we've become friends," Quinn replied._

_"I don't know," Rachel said, unsure of herself. She didn't want to say something assuming and accuse Quinn of being jealous._

_"Rachel, she doesn't want us to be friends, for whatever reason. She's probably crazy, I don't know."_

_"Do not call Avery crazy, Lucy Quinn Fabray!" Rachel shrilled._

_"Someone who sends cruel text messages to someone who has never hurt them is crazy in my book."_

_"You used to send me cruel messages on tons of things in high school and I never thought **you **were crazy!"_

_Quinn blinked. It had been a week since Rachel had visited Quinn and the latter had found out that Avery was the one sending her all the text messages that had her doubting her worth to Rachel. Now, here was Rachel, bringing back all those doubts by saying that._

_"I was crazy back then."_

_Rachel felt bad for bringing that up, but she couldn't believe Quinn's accusations. She didn't want to, because her relationship with Avery meant too much to her. She **needed **Quinn to be wrong._

_"Let me ask Avery," Rachel offered._

_"Of course Avery's going to lie, Rach! Why don't we just ask everyone in prison whether or not they're actually guilty of the crime they've been sentenced for!"_

_"Many people in prison are actually innocent of their alleged crime, so you're not helping yourself out with that tidbit!"_

_"You're just saying that because you're a vegan and you like to see the good in people!"_

_"What does me being a vegan have to do with anything?"_

_"It... I... well...gah! EVERYTHING! It has EVERYTHING to do with it!"_

_"Really, Quinn. Really?"_

_"Rachel, why don't you believe me?"_

_"I can't believe you, Quinn. I **can't.** Believing you means I'm choosing sides, and I need to not choose sides right now."_

_"And when she denies it? What then, Rachel?"_

_Rachel paused. What **would** she do?_

_"She's my girlfriend, Quinn. I love her."_

_"And I'm your best friend. You love me, too. Does that mean anything to you?"_

_"Quinn, you know it's different!"_

_"How is it different, Rach? Is it because she fucks you every night?" Quinn raged. Normally she would never even **think **of saying something so crude to or about her best friend, but she couldn't hold back. _

_"Quinn," Rachel warned. She knew Quinn was about to cross a line, if she hadn't already crossed it._

_"You said you'd be there for me whenever I need you. Well I need you, Rach. I need you to believe me. We've known each other for years. You've known her for, what? Five months? Are you really going to take her word over mine?"_

_"She's never given me reason to doubt her, Quinn!" Rachel uttered the words that she knew would destroy Quinn before she could stop them. _

_"I knew you'd never forgive me," Quinn said lowly._

_"Quinn, don't... I didn't mean it!" Rachel sputtered, wishing more than anything she could take it back. "This is a horrible conversation to have over the phone!"_

_"Rache-" Quinn was cut off by a voice coming from Rachel's side of the phone connection. _

_"Rach, babe, what's going on? Why are you shouting?"_

_Avery._

_"Avery, have you ever texted Quinn?"_

_"Huh? That's a random question, but no, I don't even have her number."_

_"Liar," Quinn put as much venom into the word as possible._

_"Quinn, I don't know what to say."_

_"Say you believe me. Tell me that you know I'd never lie to you."_

_Quinn was met with silence._

_"Goodbye Rachel."_

_"Quinn, wai-" but the phone call ended._

_"What's going on, babe?" Avery asked, concerned. _

_"I don't know, but I think... I think I broke something."_

_"What do you mean? Like, a bone? How?" Avery started inspecting her girlfriend for injury._

_Rachel shook her head. "No... I think I broke my friendship with Quinn." With that, Rachel felt a dam had lost its grip, and tears poured out of her eyes. _

_Avery wrapped her arms around Rachel, whispering soothing words into her ear to try to calm her down. She didn't want to smile while her girlfriend was crying, but she couldn't help it. Quinn was finally gone._

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn, answer your phone, please. We need to talk."_

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn, I know you're upset but you need to answer you phone and talk to me."_

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"I visited your dorm this weekend. Julie said you requested a new room last week. Please just **call me back."**_

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn," Rachel was crying into the phone, "please answer. **Please**."_

* * *

_"The phone number you've dialed is no longer in service, if you'd like to..." Rachel didn't hear the rest of what the recording had to say. She collapsed to the ground, wrapped her arms around her legs and cried. She didn't care that she was outside for everyone to see. She didn't care that she was sobbing uncontrollably. _

_All she cared about was Quinn, and she didn't even know where she was._

* * *

**Leave reviews; let me know what you thought. Sorry it was late. I had my editor... edit... and when I plugged in all of her corrections, I accidently pressed refresh and had to re-edit all over again.**

**Next update in a few days.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Mixed reviews from last chapter. Whelp, it is what it is. Just remember if you choose to anonymously review, at least make it constructive criticism. This isn't a deconstruction zone, and I don't have a hard helmet handy. So keep it productive, I have no problem taking that.**

**Yes, you should absolutely hate Avery. I needed at least one somewhat evil character. Yea...**

**I meant to address this in the last update, but I forgot, and so I'll do so now. Someone mentioned smut. I initially intended to include some of that, and I was going to a few times, but I couldn't find it in my heart to write about it when it wasn't Faberry lovin' ya know? Is that what you guys want to see eventually? Let me know.**

**To all those who add alerts and the like:**

**Please. Review. **

**I beseech you.**

**To my loyal reviewers: You da best. Keep on keepin' on.**

**This chapter has some flashbacks, clearly identified by italics. Sorry if the POV is all over the place, but that's just how my mind is today.**

* * *

Chapter 10:

Before the champagne glass shattered, no one had really taken notice of Rachel. Well, many had seen the girl when she stumbled into the pathway, but they hadn't actually NOTICED her. About half of the crowd quickly glanced her way, instantly pegging her as an early arriver on the drunk train, before it returned its attention to Quinn. Or, as most knew her, LC.

It wasn't until Quinn's expression changed from one of excitement to one of dread that anybody really saw Rachel for who she was. Instead of seeing some small, nicely dressed figure, they now saw her as someone Quinn knew. Someone she knew and didn't expect to be at the party, and who caused her to be surprised in all the wrong ways.

No one was sure what to do, especially when the smaller girl broke the silent tension that had formed between the two and forced the name, "Quinn?" from her mouth.

The sound of cheering had filled the room only moments before, but once the blonde author shot an, "Oh, shit," from her mouth the room had gone relatively quiet. It was a moment not unlike that in a movie, where time freezes and the tension in the room is almost palpable. Quite honestly, it was as if there was a giant piece of saran wrap in between Rachel and Quinn, and neither woman was aware of it even if everyone else was.

Regardless of the pair's obliviousness, the commotion in the room was deathly reserved; if not for the sound of breathing, the occasional shuffle of feet, and a few low questioning mumbles to neighbors, one might have been able to hear a pin drop.

Everyone wanted to know the connection this stranger had with their beloved author, and why, instead of LC, she had called her Quinn.

* * *

Realizing that her hand was halfway in the air, almost reaching out to her long-lost friend, Rachel dropped it back down to her side. She mentally chastised herself for dropping her glass; in the newly awkward moment she didn't know what she should do with her hands. The made-for-TV ears-filled-with-cotton moment was drawing to an end, she could feel it, and she only wished all of her shows had prepared her for something of this caliber. In this regard, Broadway had failed her, because Rachel was confounded. She had absolutely no idea what was expected of her.

Rachel especially didn't know what or how to feel when she heard Quinn say, "Oh, shit."

In order to make sure she was feeling the proper emotion, she just let herself feel EVERYTHING because Rachel Berry *Gold Star* does not half ass anything.

She was excited to see her old friend, enthralled to see she hadn't changed much in appearance except to look even more gorgeous, and enthused simply for the fact that Quinn was standing there. Right in front of her.

And yet, seeing Quinn's reaction to herself, Rachel felt disappointed. She felt dejected by Quinn's lack of enthusiasm, and depressed by her tense, non-personal demeanor.

Rachel Berry Thesaurus 101.

In any other situation, had it been any other old high school friend, Rachel would've ran and hugged the life out of whoever it was that was standing so close to her. She would have cheered happily, would have tittered over seeing an acquaintance from her younger days (even though she would claim she was still in her younger days, which relatively speaking she was). However, it _wasn't_ a different situation and it _was_ Quinn.

Yes, Quinn who was now looking at Rachel with indifference, no emotions showing on her blank - though still angelic - facial features. Rachel surveyed the change those features had made and felt her stomach swirl and tighten.

She didn't know what to expect next from Quinn, but at this point she wasn't expecting anything similar to her being remotely pleasant. Quinn's current expression was a perfect example of what to expect, in fact. Nonchalance. Distance. Indifference.

Rachel hadn't seen her friend, well ex-best-friend to be exact, in almost five years. She didn't know what was going to happen tonight, but immediately she started making plans and setting goals in her head;

_Goal 1: see Quinn again after tonight._  
_Goal 2: complete goal 1_  
_Goal 3: ..._

Ok, so maybe Rachel's list wasn't too set on the long-term. All that mattered was that now that she had finally found Quinn again, she wasn't going to let her get away. Not again. If Quinn got away again, Rachel knew she would disappear for forever this time. Rachel would have no chance at finding her. She knew this from the firsthand experience of the blonde managing to disappear_ in a college campus_. If the girl could somehow engineer a way to disguise her presence in that comparably small area, Rachel could only imagine where Quinn would go when she wasn't constrained to a specific location. Yes, if Rachel did something too risky and failed, she'd never see her friend again. Of that she was sure.

Or, well, ex-friend, if you will.

"I can see you thinking," a calm, quiet voice broke into Rachel's thoughts. It was close- close enough to speak quietly and still allow Rachel to hear it.

It was _her_ voice. Quinn's.

And Rachel would be damned if she didn't feel chills at the mere rasp of it.

Blinking, Rachel relaxed her stance and saw that Quinn had been moving towards her. How she'd missed the fact that the girl she'd spent years fixating on was walking by her, she'd never know. Thinking Quinn was moving closer to talk to her, Rachel was dumbfounded when Quinn instead walked right past her and continued to walk until she reached the small stage.

Gripping the hand offered to her by the man already on the stage, Quinn pulled herself up and took a microphone. She tried to make her nerves as steady as possible but it was like trying to keep the surface of water calm when it kept raining. Her nerves were running on a pattern similar to the ripple effect and she was worried her voice would shake in the next few minutes. In order to avoid this, she planned on keeping the speech polite but succinct.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming, for your support, and for the hours you've put in to make this movie happen. I'm sure that once you see the finished product at the premiere you'll know that all your hard work was not in vain. I can honestly tell you that everything came out perfect, better than I ever imagined it would be. That said, I implore you to go on and celebrate, though I'm sure you already have as I arrived a bit late," Quinn said the last part with a mixed expression, but the crowd laughed politely anyway. She attempted to give them a light smile, but knowing that she would have to interact with Rachel, now that her speech was finished, did not make it easy. Especially since the reason she was late in the first place still sat untouched in her mind.

_Later, _she promised herself.

* * *

The thick silence that had settled earlier had somewhat lifted when Quinn made her way through the makeshift aisle. Though many were confused to see the author walk right by the brown-haired woman, most of them shrugged it off. They just wanted to celebrate the night, and they felt that whatever was going on with the two women was more drama than they bargained for. The mood was already funked up enough, and everyone wanted it to go back to the previous "Eat, Drink and Be Merry."

Sure enough, right after completing her short speech, the blonde walked towards the brunette at a brisk pace. A few dimwitted guests tried to begin a conversation with Quinn as she was passing, but, rude or not, Quinn ignored them. Her mother would be so disappointed. Oh well.

The crowd had cheered a bit when the speech included celebrating, and when they saw that no shouting war was going to take place, a good portion of the party's attendees dismissed the two women and grabbed a drink. May the partying truly begin!

Rachel was captivated by Quinn on a level she never did understand. She could hardly blink or breathe, let alone move a limb and _do_ something. So when Quinn stopped talking at the stage and began walking towards her, Rachel merely watched in anticipation.

When a stunningly pale hand wrapped itself around her tanned arm, Rachel put all of her willpower into making her legs move into the direction Quinn was now leading her. The brunette figured it would be just her luck to stumble and fall the first time she saw Quinn in what had felt like forever. Then again, she'd already kind of stumbled in front of her when she broke through the crowd. She mentally cringed at the reminder.

The grip on her upper arm wasn't tight, but it wasn't loose. It was a firm grip that left no room for refusal, and it told the smaller girl that Quinn was leading them somewhere private where they'd probably have a really tense conversation.

Rachel was _so_ looking forward to it, because awkward or not, a tense conversation was better than no conversation at all. She had been waiting for this moment for years.

* * *

Quinn had no idea what she was thinking when she grabbed Rachel's arm and led her to the kitchen. Worried that she'd accidentally take out her stress on the grip she had on Rachel's arm, she put all of her concentration in that one act. She didn't want to cut off the smaller girl's circulation, but she didn't want her to be able to wiggle her way out of this, either.

So many emotions were whizzing around in Quinn's head that she simply couldn't digest them all. She hadn't seen Rachel since she realized her girlfriend was the psycho texter, and she hadn't _talked_ to Rachel since Rachel chose another girl over herself and she said her farewell.

Rachel chose Avery, Quinn told herself. Not that any of that matters anymore.

Quinn had five years to get over what happened, and while she realized how stupid she was when she walked away from their friendship, she hadn't been able to return to Rachel either.

* * *

_"Goodbye Rachel."_

_That's what Quinn said before she ended the call. Rachel was wrong when she said that their conversation shouldn't have been over the phone, because then she would've seen the absolutely broken look on Quinn's face._

_Quinn knew that if Rachel saw her right now the smaller girl would encase the blonde in one of the tightest hugs ever, and Quinn couldn't allow that. Right now, Quinn needed anything but that. She knew she would melt into the hug. She knew she would allow herself to be hurt over and over again if it meant getting that hug afterwards._

_But Rachel had chosen Avery. And while that in and of itself wasn't what hurt Quinn so much, it was a huge part of it. Quinn had done a lot of stupid shit in her life, and she knew that if she hadn't hung up the phone just then she'd have said things that would only make that list longer._

_Rachel chose Avery._

_Man, that awful sentence just kept repeating over and over, the redundancy driving Quinn up the wall. She chose Avery. She **chose** Avery. She chose **Avery**._

_Yea, that sucked. But what hurt worse was that she didn't believe Quinn. Because for years Quinn had given her many reasons **not** to believe her, and so few to do the opposite. While there was love in their friendship, Quinn's fears overwhelmed her too much to care about that one puny positive._

**_Love is not trust_**,_ she thought miserably. She couldn't see Rachel ever trusting her, not fully. And she couldn't even be bitter about it, not really. She had no right. Crushing Rachel's hopes and putting the girl down in high school, the most vulnerable time of a girl's life... _

_Quinn had earned this. Quinn **deserved** to feel how she felt, she knew that._

_But it still hurt._

_She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to feel, but her body wasn't exactly at her command. Julie was out of the room at the moment, so Quinn was at least allowed to deal with her despair in private._

_In the quiet of the room, Quinn couldn't help but feel her pride take the dent of knowing Rachel hadn't immediately called her back to apologize and say she believed her. To say that, "We're best friends, Quinn. I'm not going to let years of that be replaced by a few months with Avery."_

_But no call came and Quinn just sobbed more forcefully. God, she was a mess. At that, Quinn reigned in her emotions. She was a Fabray, and if there was one thing she was good at it was pulling back on how she was feeling. She didn't like to, it reminded her of her father and his hypocritical ways, but she couldn't deny that sometimes there was a point to it._

_Wiping her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her sweater, Quinn stood up from her bed and walked out of her dorm room. Once she reached the bathroom, she rinsed her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't look awful, per se, but she wasn't quite a beauty at the moment._

_Before she could start crying again, Quinn walked back to her room. Instead of actually entering the dorm room, however, she found herself frozen in the threshold. To the left were Julie's bed and her belongings. To the right was all of Quinn's._

_The small desk with papers neatly placed, organized by class, the small white fan next to her bed for when it was a particularly hot night. There was a poster with a few famous actors hanging above her pillow, as well as a few medals from her time spent on the Cheerios. Her blankets were bunched up on her bed, her pillows scrambled over the open terrain. Her clothes were strewn across the floor as she had yet to do laundry._

_But most important was the poster board hanging on the wall beside her bed. It held photos of all her friends from high school. The top row from left to right held pictures of Quinn, Santana, and Brittany, in all arrangements of the three. The middle row held pictures of everyone else. The bottom row was reserved for Rachel alone._

_Something snapped within Quinn when she thought about those pictures. She finally stepped into her room and took the poster board off the wall._

_She ignored the pictures of everybody else and looked at all of the ones that captured Rachel. First she looked at the one of Rachel pouting while raising a hanger in the air because Quinn wouldn't buy the shirt that the smaller girl said suited Quinn perfectly; it was a white T-shirt with a periodic table spelling bacon. Quinn remembered that day well enough._

_Rachel had whined, "But Quinnnnn!"_

_And Quinn had responded, "Rach, you're a terrible vegan if you want me to buy a bacon shirt."_

_Then Rachel had pouted and clarified that it wasn't as if the shirt was made of bacon. To show the girl how ridiculous she was being, Quinn had snapped a picture. Though, she might have also done it because Rachel pouting was one of the most adorable sights in the world._

_The next picture was of both of them and Rachel had taken it. Quinn could tell because she could see Rachel's arm extended in the bottom right of the screen. Rachel was looking at the camera and smiling, while Quinn was looking at Rachel. That one in particular sent hurt reeling through Quinn's chest._

_There were a few more pictures but the last one was one of Quinn's favorites. It was from when Rachel last visited Quinn, the last time the two had been enjoying the other's company. Rachel didn't even know it had been taken, seeing as she was asleep. Quinn hadn't known at the time either, as she had been in the process of waking up._

_Julie had taken the picture early Sunday morning. It was of Quinn and Rachel cuddled together, Rachel turned towards Quinn, Quinn's arms wrapped around her friend. Rachel was burrowed into Quinn, so much so that it seemed impossible for her to be any closer. Her face was hidden by her own hair as well as Quinn's, but Quinn's face was easily seen. Her eyes were squinting at her roommate who was just capturing the "Kodak moment" as she liked to say._

_Quinn looked at their entangled limbs, which were fully viewable as the blanket had fallen off of them sometime during the night. That's what she wanted to wake up to everyday. But that's how Rachel wanted to wake up to everyday with Avery._

_Avery, who had clearly tried to put Quinn down. She had tried, and succeeded, to make Quinn doubt everything. And now she had succeeded in her ultimate goal of ending Quinn and Rachel's friendship._

_Quinn felt angry for letting Avery best her, but instead of wanting to fix everything, she just kept hearing "Rachel chose Avery."_

_It didn't matter that Avery was some jealous psycho that wanted Quinn out of Rachel's life, but it did matter that Rachel wanted to keep Avery in her life more than she wanted to trust Quinn. Quinn's first thought was to get Avery away from Rachel because, hello, she didn't want Rachel dating a lunatic. But she realized that Avery had only acted this way towards Quinn. While she had pushed Quinn away, she made Rachel incredibly happy._

_Sure, Quinn made Rachel happy too, but not in the same way. Quinn couldn't imagine losing Rachel, but after today she couldn't imagine looking at Rachel either. Looking into those big doe eyes and not seeing that unconditional trust that they held for everyone else would possibly destroy her._

_Quinn could probably find some way to prove to Rachel that Avery did indeed send those texts, but it wouldn't matter. Rachel would feel awful for not believing Quinn, but Quinn wouldn't be able to fully accept the apology because it would be impossible to forget that someone she was in love with didn't trust her. Then she'd probably let it slip that she was in love with Rachel and things would turn awkward and everything would essentially be fucked up big time because Rachel would still be getting over Avery. If she even broke up with her in the first place. Quinn wouldn't let herself think that Rachel would immediately break up with Avery upon finding out. She'd assumed Rachel would believe her initially, and look how well that turned out._

_Her pride was hurt, her ego shredded, and her heart beaten into a pulp._

_If she hadn't erased those freaking text messages then she could've just shown Rachel the evidence, but she **had **erased them, thus she had no proof._

_This whole situation was fucked up and Quinn didn't know what to do. She didn't want to lose Rachel but she couldn't, absolutely could not, heal from what had happened. Not quickly, anyway._

_Maybe in a few months she'd be hit by an epiphany and things would calm down enough. Maybe she'd mature enough to talk to her._

_But for now, Quinn couldn't handle looking at a freaking picture of the brunette, let alone hearing her beautiful voice or dealing with her actual physical presence._

_No; Quinn needed to work this like a Band-Aid. She needed time to be alone, to figure her shit out. To heal._

_Walking out of her room, she went to talk to someone about moving rooms because there was no way in hell she could look at Julie every day and not think of all the times they shared talking about or actually hanging out with Rachel._

_Finding out she could be moved in 8 days and no sooner was painful, but Quinn made herself a promise not to spend a single night in her own bed._

* * *

Finally reaching the kitchen after what seemed like a long trek, though it was really only a minute long walk, Quinn made a path through all the hustle and bustle and found the door she was looking for.

Having previously visited the place with Jenna to scope it out and see if it was good enough, Quinn had known about the little room ahead of time.

Quinn assumed it was once a storage room of some sort, and the small size of it reminded her of her college dorm all over again. The walls were a dull orangeish color, very office-like. Quinn vaguely wondered what exactly this room was for. It was kind of random.

Finally realizing that the grip she had on Rachel meant that she was _touching_ the girl, Quinn quickly released the arm as if it was a snake preparing to bite her

Leading Rachel forward and further into the room, Quinn closed the door behind her.

The room was mute for a second before Rachel opened her mouth to say something. Before she could, however, Quinn cut her off.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn accused, causing Rachel to flinch from the pain her words inflicted.

"I'm here with-" Rachel didn't want to finish the sentence. She felt "my girlfriend, Jenna," would be too much. It might cause Quinn to flare up and leave, and Rachel needed Quinn not to leave.

Dead-air stiffened the mood of the room before Quinn tensed and stood up straighter.

"If you say Avery, so help me god, Rachel."

Rachel's eyes widened comically. She didn't know what Quinn had done with her life since college, but part of her had selfishly hoped that Quinn kept track of her from afar.

It wasn't a hard task, now that Rachel found herself on and off Broadway. She was in magazines often enough, her life on paper for all to see.

"No! Oh my god, I haven't even seen her since..."

_You picked up your life and left ours behind _

"freshman year of college."

_Kind of like you._

"Oh," Quinn said, hazel eyes swirling in confusion. She figured that even if the two weren't together they'd have seen each other since then.

"I broke up with her three days after you hung up on me," Rachel admitted, trying to let Quinn know so much in so few words. Those words held a lot of meaning. They proved that Rachel left Avery. That she hadn't chosen Avery after all.

"Why?" Quinn asked, afraid of knowing the truth while at the same time she knew that there was a part of her that desperately needed to hear it.

Rachel took a step forward and felt hurt recoil in every part of her body when Quinn took a step back in response.

Neither knew quite what to do while they stood in the empty room. They were just standing there awkwardly, looking at each other. Quinn kept her eyes and heart guarded, not willing to let Rachel come back into her life and tear it up with a few words. Rachel, on the other hand, wore her heart on her sleeve.

"I..." Rachel paused not sure how to continue. "You made me doubt everything. It was like you planted this seed and it kept growing and growing," she said, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

* * *

_"Rach, come on, eat something," Avery insisted. Rachel was pushing the food around on her plate, not convincing Avery for a moment._

_"I'm not hungry," the brunette stated glumly. It was true; her stomach was in a tight knot and she felt that if she were to eat more than a few bites she would just throw it up._

_After Quinn hung up and Rachel cried in Avery's arms for a while, Rachel had wanted to call Quinn back and convince her to meet up to talk in person. Avery advised Rachel against it by saying the Quinn just needed time. Rachel had just nodded solemnly and continued to cry until she fell asleep._

_"I know, but you need at least need to try to eat," Avery soothed._

_Rachel trembled at the words and dropped her fork. She brought her hands to her face and buried it in them._

_"I don't want to," she whispered. "I just want Quinn."_

_Avery felt torn between wishing her girlfriend wasn't so upset and feeling upset herself that Rachel still wanted Quinn after everything._

_"I just don't understand why she would accuse you of doing something like that," the smaller girl confessed._

_Wrapping her arms around her girlfriend, Avery told Rachel what she needed to hear._

_"She's probably just upset that you have someone in your life besides her. She'll get over it, eventually."_

_Only, Avery knew that the messages she had sent wouldn't allow Quinn to get over it as easily as she said. She hoped Quinn would keep a far distance, physically and emotionally._

_It wasn't hard to see that Rachel's friend was practically in love with her. Quinn wasn't as subtle about it as she liked to think. Avery knew it wasn't some crush; Quinn had fallen for Rachel a long time ago, but had never acted on it. Avery didn't want her to someday get the balls to say it, because she couldn't predict what Rachel would do._

_"I don't think so," Rachel remarked. "I think she's really... I don't know. You know she's been distant recently. She has **been** pulling back. What if she's pulled back so far that whatever was holding her broke last night? I need to call her. I need to talk to her."_

_Avery pursed her lips but didn't argue as she handed Rachel her phone._

_Rachel dialed her number one speed dial and squeezed her eyes tight when she heard the pre-recorded voice of her best friend._

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn, answer your phone, please. We need to talk."_

* * *

_"What movie do you wanna watch, Rach?" Avery asked gently._

_"Put in a horror movie, please," Rachel answered._

_Avery looked up at this, confused._

_"Are you sure?" she asked doubtfully._

_"Yes." Rachel just wanted anything that wouldn't remind her of Quinn._

_"Cool," Avery chirped. She was a horror movie fanatic, so she was excited for the change. Putting in The Strangers, Avery stood up and told Rachel she was going to the bathroom really quick._

_Nodding in acknowledgment, Rachel just looked over at her phone. Even though she had just checked it a few minutes ago, she picked it up and checked for any texts or calls anyway._

_There were none._

_Sighing, Rachel put her phone down just as Avery's went off. Seeing that it was Ashley who had texted Avery, Rachel picked up her girlfriends phone and read the message._

_"**Yo, bitch, roomie finally quit whining bout Q?"**_

_Rachel rolled her eyes at Ashley's concern-filled message._

_Exiting the text, Rachel went to Avery's contact list to change her own contact name. The other day she saw that she was under the name "Tiny" and she spent several minutes arguing with Avery to change it._

_She lost the battle then, but she was going to fix that now. Changing it to "Rachel ;)", she saved the contact and watched as her name rose through the ranks_.

_Her body stiffened as still as a statue when she saw whose name was two names under hers._

_Avery had two other friends with "r" names, Ricky and Riley, but only one person was labeled under "q"; Quinn._

_Unless Avery just so happened to meet Quinn in the last few days, Rachel knew of only one Quinn that Avery knew._

_When Avery walked back into the room and saw Rachel staring at her phone with an unreadable expression, she immediately thought some dumbass girl texted her something stupid and flirty like 'I miss you :( let's hang out some time soon ;)" She had gotten a few of those from some one night stands she'd had before she met Rachel. That was going to be awkward to explain._

_"Rachel?" she asked hesitantly._

_"You said you didn't have Quinn's number."_

**_Oh, shit_**_, Avery thought. She hadn't deleted the contact._

_"Oh, I can explain that," Avery started._

_"I'm sure you can." Rachel had never looked so devastated in her life._

* * *

**I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea when the next update will be. Sometime within the next 4 days I presume.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry to disappoint, but this chapter is a little shorter than normal. Okay, a lottle shorter. It's about the same size as the first few. I figured shorter chapters (but faster) is better then longer chapters (but slower). It's just for this week, though, I promise. I was scheduled almost every day at work, so please forgive me?**

**On the plus side, if this upsets you, know that my legs got super burned yesterday when I was out in the sun all day. Take joy in my pain, lol. Consider it karma if need be.**

**Emotional junk: I don't think you understand how much your reviews mean to me. You guys are the best. Seriously. I keep "squeeing" all over the place. It's rather embarrassing. How am I supposed to look tough when I'm fist-pumping the air saying, "BLESS YOU FABERRY!"? Answer: I DON'T. I look like a fool.**

**Moving on.**

**Here's the conversation you were robbed of in regards to the last update. I'm keepin' it light for now.**

**Oh, side note. How pissed would you be if I made Rachel a vampire randomly?**

* * *

Chapter 11:

_I broke up with her three days after you hung up on me._

That sentence, a simple statement, tugged emotions out of Quinn that she hadn't known she could feel anymore. It was as if she had suddenly realized that she had a third arm, only this finding was not a physical manifestation. No, Quinn instead found she had a symbolic third arm representing the girl she'd thought she had grown out of.

All at once the Quinn from college was back; the Quinn who had fallen so desperately in love with her best friend. The one that ran away from a friendship that meant the world to her. The very same Quinn that looked at Rachel and was filled with regret for wasting what precious time the two might have had together.

The only difference was that the time college-Quinn had missed was merely two years of high school, and she'd still had Rachel in her life, regardless of whether or not they were on good terms. Quinn herself had completely missed out on five years of Rachel's life, and not only was five years a long time, but they happened to be the most adventurous years of Rachel's life. That was what filled her mind currently, pain seeping through every fiber in her being.

"Why?" the blonde had asked as her chest tightened to a painful extent. She didn't want to know, but oh boy did she _need_ to know.

Quinn had listened to Rachel's response but she could only manage to focus on one phrase in particular: "You made me doubt everything."

Quinn made _Rachel_ doubt everything? _Oh, no, it was quite the contrary_, Quinn thought. _You made **me** doubt everything_.

She tried not to focus on her own indignation and instead chose to listen intently to Rachel's tale of Avery, which was not at all what she had expected. For years she had tortured herself with imaginings of how perfect Rachel's life must have been without her, but with Avery. To hear that it had basically been the opposite... Quinn was blown away. Rachel had not been given the happy ever after Quinn thought she deserved.

* * *

"After listening to her drabble on for over fifteen minutes about how she'd only added your number for safety purposes, I couldn't bear to be in the same room as her," Rachel said. "I asked how she even got your number in the first place, and she had to pause and think for a moment."

Quinn said nothing; she simply waited for Rachel to continue. This was partly because she was genuinely curious as to what happened, and partly because she didn't trust herself to speak in the given moment.

"She told me she got it from my phone, so I asked her when. She _said_," Rachel rolled her eyes, "she had transferred your information shortly after I fell asleep." Pause. Quinn made a face that Rachel took as being hurt that she had fallen asleep after their fight. The brunette's instincts rang true as Quinn had felt that way, but only because she hadn't been able to fall asleep for hours on end. "I was crying because you had hung up on me and I became emotionally and physically exhausted. I wanted to call you back so much..." the brunette trailed off from her explanation.

"Then why didn't you?" the blonde asked. She wanted to add "Because I was waiting up for hours, mournfully anticipating the moment I'd hear your voice again," but chose against it. She needed to keep her emotions away from Rachel. She already felt highly affected by Rachel's presence and she didn't want to jinx anything by pushing her luck.

She didn't want to wind up hurt; not again. Her heart could only take so many beatings from the girl she felt she had been made for.

At the question, Quinn saw Rachel's jaw clench and her arms fell from their hold around herself. Instead, her tiny hands lay adjacent to her thin hips and clenched themselves into tight fists.

"Avery told me to give you time," she spit. The way she had said Avery could only be described as vehement, and Quinn felt a slight satisfaction at that, only to be replaced by a cautious wonder as to why she felt satisfied in the first place.

"And you always did what Avery told," Quinn mused, more so to herself than to Rachel. The blonde crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.

Rachel straightened her back at Quinn's comment and kept her fists secure in their tight balls. "Excuse me?" The brunette was slightly taken aback by Quinn's words as they implied so much.

Quinn blinked, not fully aware that she had spoken aloud. Guilt washed over her when she realized what she had said.

"I didn't mean it," the blonde rushed out, but she cut herself off from saying more. Rachel softened a bit then, arms re-wrapping themselves around her torso protectively.

"Yet it was true," the smaller girl acknowledged. "She had me wrapped around her finger." If Rachel had simply been honest enough with herself in college, she would have resigned herself to the fact long ago and all of... this... whatever "this" was, could have been avoided. "What she didn't know is that I had removed my battery from my phone and that I had thrown it somewhere so I _didn't_ call you. There was no way she could have turned on my phone to get your number."

The room was void of any sound for a moment, but for the first time that night it was a comfortable silence. There was no tension, no awkwardness, and especially no anger. Quinn merely absorbed what she heard and looked at Rachel.

The two women were simply allowing themselves to _be_. Quinn just wanted to absorb the few precious minutes of being alone in the room with Rachel, and Rachel just wanted to be in Quinn's presence.

* * *

Before either girl had to worry about disintegrating the moment should it last too long and actually become _un_comfortable, a knock on the door sounded.

"Rachel? Was that you I saw head in here?" a voice called from outside the door.

Rachel's eyes widened at hearing Jenna's voice. "Yes, I'm in here," she called back, shooting Quinn a look of apprehension. The blonde merely tilted her head in reply, recognizing something familiar in the tone at the door. Her eyebrows moved closer together as she felt the answer was on the tip of her tongue.

The door began to open and Jenna stepped in. The noise from the kitchen seemed extra loud to Rachel and Quinn after having been in the quiet, isolated room for awhile now.

"What are you doing in here all alone?" Jenna asked her girlfriend, worried by her erratic behavior throughout the night. The room had a tiny hallway about three feet long, so Quinn was out of Jenna's field of vision.

"I'm not here alone," Rachel said gesturing to her left, which was Jenna's right.

Jenna took a few more steps forward and looked towards where Rachel directed.

Initially shocked, Jenna felt a smile build when she found herself looking at Quinn. Rachel figured the smile was just a polite one, and that Jenna was greeting a stranger. She was shocked, to say the least, when Jenna continued to step forward and wrapped Quinn in a small hug.

"Quinn, nice to see you again," she said. The two blondes stepped back and Quinn greeted Jenna warmly in return.

"Jenna, nice to see you, too. Though I can't say I've had the fortune of eating any of your food yet. I got a little sidetracked," Quinn said, glancing at the discombobulated brunette to her right.

Jenna was no longer wearing any form of an apron, and was instead standing in the dress she had left the apartment in, Rachel noticed. She must have put her second in command in charge. Rachel had no idea what that person's work title was.

"Well, no worries. I'm sure you'll get to it at some point. I see you've met Rachel," Jenna smiled happily at her girlfriend.

Quinn stood lost for a second, realizing that Jenna was in the room because she was looking for Rachel, not for herself. Before she had enough time to think more on the subject, she heard a choking sound.

"You two _know_ each other?" Rachel sputtered. "What? How? When? What is going on?" The brunette lifted her left arm in the air and slapped it with her right hand. "Yep, that hurt. I'm not having a nightmare."

The two blondes looked at Rachel like she had lost it, and maybe she had. Rachel for one felt like she was going insane, so why not? Might as well lock her in a padded room and call her Sally. That way she would at least fit in when she screamed "I'm not Sally!" over and over again. She did worry slightly about the straight-jacket, though. In order to act the part she'd have to roll around in it a lot. Maybe she'd purposely dehydrate herself so she could froth at the mouth as she did so.

Hey, if Rachel Berry * was going to play the part, she was going to play it _damn well._

Rachel's words dawned on Jenna as she realized that Rachel didn't know Quinn as the author of the book she had so strongly protested the ending of. She clearly had a prior relationship with the shorter blonde, if her expression was anything to go by.

"Rach, Quinn is the author of the-" Jenna began to explain but was cut off by Rachel's change in expression alone. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropped, and her face paled a little bit.

"_You're_ LC?" the brunette swallowed as her hands waved around spastically. "Oh my god... _you_ wrote that book? You... That... I... Wh... Buh..." Rachel ended her frantic rambling by mumbling incoherently.

Quinn merely nodded in a slow fashion, unsure of how else to respond to Rachel's newly developed inquiries. The girl was responding bizarrely to the recent information. Quinn wondered if the girls pacing would wear down the thin carpet in the room.

"This can't be happening," the brunette continued to mumble. "This can_not_ be happening. How did I miss this?" Rachel stopped pacing suddenly. "Oh my... You've got to be fucking_ kidding_ me? You're _Lucy_. The_ story._.. _you_ wrote that."

"Rach, language, babe," Jenna soothed. "You need to reign in whatever you're feeling. I think you're a bit overcome with emotion right now."

"Reign in?" Rachel shrieked at the same time that Quinn perplexedly asked, "Babe?"

The three women fell silent for a moment. Rachel was silent because of Quinn's question, a question to which she knew the answer would not be appreciated by the shorter blonde. Quinn was silent because she had just realized that Jenna was dating Rachel, and Jenna had gone on and on about how amazing her girlfriend was when the two blondes had spent time together outside of business. Jenna was just confused as fuck and didn't know what the hell was going on, so she intelligently chose to observe instead.

In the end it was Rachel who broke the moment by answering Quinn. "Quinn, Jenna is my girlfriend. I'd introduce you... But..." the brunette felt really awkward.

"Oh," was all Quinn could manage. Figures she would hire the one caterer in the city that was dating Rachel, the girl she never wanted to see again and yet desired to see her all the same. Quinn slowly remembered that Jenna had mentioned once that her girlfriend's name was Rachel and mentally kicked herself for not even giving the notion a second thought. Rachel wasn't an uncommon name, though, and she'd met enough Rachels in her life not to associate _her_ Rachel whenever she heard the name. Her Rachel?_ Hah! What a joke_, Quinn thought.

Rachel never had and never would be hers.

Jenna, still not completely aware of what was going on between the other women, decided to say something. "She's the one I told you about, Quinn. Speaking of girlfriends, where's Madison?"

Rachel shifted her stance upon hearing this, a curious gaze casting over her features. "Madison?" she asked.

"Oh, um, yea. Madison is my..." Quinn didn't know what to say. Luckily for her, Quinn didn't have to say anything because Rachel said it for her.

"The actress you've been," Rachel paused, "dating." She still couldn't believe that the author she'd known of as LC was Quinn. That everything she'd heard about LC was actually news about Quinn, which meant she was dating that stupidly perfect actress.

Quinn pulled back a little. "How'd you know?"

"Jenna and Kevin told me all about you two. Classy, Quinn, dating someone who's practically your employee. _Real _classy." Rachel didn't know why she said the last part, but she couldn't deny the pang of jealousy that sprung out of its own volition. She remembered Kevin showing her the picture of Madison. Yea, those two were too beautiful together, and it hurt.

"Rachel!" Jenna's eyes flew wide at her girlfriend's rude comment.

"Don't worry Jenna, Rachel and I go way back. I'm used to her abrasiveness, even if it's been five years," Quinn meant for the statement to calm Jenna down and it worked. Though, it did still appear that Jenna was upset with Rachel for saying such a thing.

"You don't know the story, Rachel. It's not like that," Quinn warned the brunette. She used to get defensive about her relationship. However, after giving Rachel a pointed look, Quinn realized one thing; she wasn't even _with_ Madison anymore. But she couldn't say that now. Not after she saw the look in Rachel's eyes.

It was an overall judgmental look, but Quinn could have sworn she saw a bit of jealousy. Just enough to allow Quinn to understand that a lot had changed since college.

"Then you'll have to tell me sometime," the brunette offered, though it sounded more like a demand to Quinn.

"Sure," the shorter blonde said. Why she had agreed, she didn't know. She was torn between running for the hills again and staying. In the end, staying obviously won out. Now that she'd seen Rachel after all these years, she didn't think she could let go again. "Maybe over coffee or something," she suggested.

Rachel smiled at the reply. She had left little room for argument in her offer, but she still hadn't known what to expect from Quinn. Fight or flight, she was filled with glee (ugh, the pun was not working for her) to see that Quinn had chosen fight. Though, she hoped that there wouldn't actually be fighting involved. That wouldn't do any good.

"Sounds good to me."

Rachel mentally checked goal number one off her list.

Having stood in her spot awkwardly and having witnessed the events unfold, Jenna raised her left hand in offering to Rachel. "Are we going back out there or are you two just going to ostracize yourself all night?" she said. She knew more was going on than what she saw at face value, but she also figured that whatever it was could wait till later. Quinn needed to be present at her own party, and Rachel needed to let her.

Rachel hesitated only slightly to take her girlfriends hand. She looked back at Quinn to say, "Yea, your fans are probably _dying_ to talk to you by now." The emphasis she put on the word "dying" pulled at something inside of the blonde and it annoyed her.

Showing her inner feelings, Quinn rolled her eyes at Rachel, took a deep breath, and followed them out of the room. The noise hit her ears again, only this time it wasn't as painful as they had been talking previously instead of standing soundless.

Jenna led them out of the kitchen, leading the way. Quinn couldn't help but glance at the intertwined fingers of the two a few times. The same hurt she'd felt in college came rushing back.

_Why does this keep happening?_ The blonde thought miserably.

* * *

**Review. Let me know what you want to see.**

**Oh, the vampire comment was a joke, don't flame me. This fic is 100% realistic.**

**Were you actually worried? **

**I, personally, would be pissed if that happened in a story I was reading.**

**I kept this chapter light. Next chapter... let's just say Quinn's going to be an emotional mess and she's gonna do stupid things. **

**There may or may not be smut. I haven't decided.**

**It all depends on you guys.**


	12. Chapter 12

**An update in less than 24 hours? I hope it doesn't take away from the story. **

**I won't update till Friday, but it will be a long entry. Probably 8k by itself.**

**I lied, well, changed my mind, well.. no; ****I postponed my plans for the long update. No stupid-Quinn just yet. **

**Clarifications: EW. Quinn is capital G gay and is never going to have ANYTHING with a guy in this story. I would warn you. **

**I tried, guys, really. However, writing non-faberry smut is just not going to happen in this story. I repeat: I will only include Faberry smut. You'll just have to wait. :)**

**Though, to address a point someone made: Yea, Madison/Quinn smut would be kinda hot. I imagine them being really... adventurous. Ha.**

**On a happy note, because you guys are blowing me away with reviews, alerts, and favorites, I will tease you with this little tidbit: a smut scene is going to occur in Friday's update, but... it's not what you think.**

* * *

Chapter 12:

"Drink with me," Quinn whispered into Madison's ear from behind. Her hands were on the smaller girls waist, and to anyone else it would've looked intimate. To Quinn and Madison it was just for show.

"Quinn?" the brunette questioned as she tried to turn her head around to get a better look.

"Mhmm," the blonde hummed, allowing Madison to fully turn around so they were front to front. Quinn kept her hands lightly placed in the same position, conscious of a few stares.

Instead of answering, Madison narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her ex.

"Why are we drinking?"

"Because I'm not going to get through tonight without it," Quinn said honestly, and Madison heard something close to what she would describe as desperate in her voice. Immediately knowing something was off, Madison felt herself relax in hopes that Quinn would, too.

Her plan seemed to work because once Quinn felt Madison's body loosen up, the blonde's stress level visibly lowered. In response to Madison's physical show of agreement, Quinn smiled and looked around for anyone carrying a tray. Much to her disappointment, she couldn't find any servers that were close enough. The few she saw were too far away to bother pushing past everyone in the way.

While she was busy looking around, Quinn failed to notice Madison had procured two drinks all by herself. Thus, when she turned back to Madison to frown and complain, she was shocked to see two red drinks in the girl's hands.

"What are these?" Quinn asked, taking one. She looked down into her glass, eyeing the enticing beverage. Slowly, she pulled the glass to her nose and sniffed it to see if she recognized it. She didn't, but that wasn't much of a surprise; she wasn't known for her alcoholic encyclopedia.

"Not sure, but who cares?" Madison laughed.

"Not me," Quinn agreed as she took a huge mouthful of the mysterious liquid. Besides, she trusted Madison to pick something that tasted good. She could barely taste the alcohol in it, but only because the fruity flavor overpowered it. It reminded her of the spiked punch Puck always had at his parties, but better.

While Madison was worried for Quinn - Quinn rarely drank to get drunk, and that was clearly the intention as she was downing the drink at this point - she was also happy that for the moment the awkwardness between them had dissipated.

Madison had no idea what to think of earlier. Quinn wasn't supposed to be at the apartment, so of all the times for her to show up it just HAD to be while she was changing. Then, not only had Quinn walked in on her naked, but she had also stared at Madison's body like she'd never seen it before. Screw the redundancy, she looked more lustful than a fat boy finding a three layer cake; a frat guy finding a keg of beer that never ran dry; or better yet, a hormonal pregnant woman discovering that triple chocolate fudgiliciois quadruple peanut butter brownie ice cream DID exist.

Yea, that last one just about nailed it on the head.

The look in Quinn's eyes did nothing to help the fact that she was really craving sex, and when Quinn commented about being cold (which Madison couldn't have been - the apartment was more than warm enough) Madison knew she was a goner.

She had basically mauled Quinn, and was surprised when Quinn offered up no resistance.

Then it was an hour later, the two were laying down covered in a thin layer of sweat, and they looked at each other.

The look they shared said wonders.

Both of them knew it was a mistake. However, neither could bring themselves to regret it. It was complicated, but Madison knew it was never going to happen again. She wouldn't allow it.

Which is why her drink was non-alcoholic, though the blonde was not aware of it. Quinn didn't need to know that Madison was not drinking because as long as Quinn was having fun, she wouldn't notice. Quinn wanted to get drunk, clearly to ignore something that was bothering her, and Madison didn't want to let her get out of control.

She may have messed up big time what with Kevin and all, but she really did care for Quinn.

"Woah, slow down there tiger," Madison chastised, coming out of her own thoughts. Quinn had already finished her drink and had found another.

"I'm not a tiger, therefore I'm not required to heed your warning. Hence why I am going to ignore it," Quinn smirked, causing Madison to role her eyes. "Oh, hey. Side note."

"Yes?" Madison asked, waving her hand in the air and waiting for Quinn to go on.

"If anyone asks, particularly two attractive women, one blonde one brunette, we're still dating," the blonde said, gaze avoiding Madison's.

"Umm..." Madison trailed, not really sure how to react.

"Are you okay with that? You don't have to lie if you don't want to," Quinn said, feeling a bit disappointed.

"I don't mind, I think. I'm just curious as to why." They were kind of already pretending so it wasn't that big of a deal. The reinstated question meant that Quinn _wanted_ people to think they were dating though, and Madison didn't understand why.

Quinn bit her lip, not wishing to explain the truth to Madison, but not willing to lie to her either. Man, their situation was complicated and she was just messing it up even more with her antics.

"You know how I told you the story is slightly based off of reality?" she went with.

"Yes, I do," Madison nodded. She felt like she knew where this was headed at this point.

"Okay, good. Let's just say," Quinn paused to finish off her second drink, "Rebecca is here."

Madison thought for a minute a she came to terms with what Quinn was telling her. "And your equivalent is...?"

Quinn remained silent at this, staring down into her empty glass. A look crossed over her face that Madison had never seen before, and she couldn't quite place it. It was almost wistful, and yet hopeless at the same time.

Turning just in time to place her empty glass on a nearby tray, Quinn managed to also yank two new drinks off of the very same tray. Madison was slightly impressed; buzzed girl had skills.

"Here," Quinn said as she handed Madison a glass. The smaller girl took it knowing she'd end up giving it to Quinn in a few minutes anyway.

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before opening them and draining her glass.

"Levin," she stated, "as always," a hint of bitterness infiltrating her tone.

Madison was puzzled for a few seconds before realizing that the blonde was answering her question from a few minutes earlier. If Quinn was referring to herself as Levin and said her Rebecca was here...

"Oh, Quinn," Madison said sorrowfully. She should probably be upset that Quinn was implying that someone she had unrequited feelings for was here when they had just recently broken up, but she simply couldn't be.

They had a good time for awhile, but they hadn't been in love. Madison felt for Quinn, and yea, maybe they could have eventually been more, but they hadn't gotten to that point. What Madison felt for Quinn right now was friendship. Okay, so she felt a little more than friendship, but it wasn't so much that it ruined things. What she felt for Quinn was something she could get over with time, she knew.

Sure, it was a little weird that Quinn was confiding in her about this mock-Rebecca person, but Madison wanted to keep Quinn as a friend.  
If listening to the blonde talk about other girls was her price to pay, then so be it.

"No, no pity," Quinn said, though her "no"s sounded a bit fuzzy.

"Quinn, have you eaten?" Madison asked. Between their pre-party activities and the amount of alcohol she had consumed (and in such a short amount of time) she knew Quinn probably hadn't. Which was all the more reason that she should.

Looking like a scolded child, Quinn shook her head. At this, Madison took Quinn's glass and set it down. Putting her hand on the other girl's lower back, Madison guided Quinn towards the table covered in food. She didn't want to go and retrieve food for Quinn only to return to find the slightly intoxicated girl had disappeared.

Gathering an assortment of food on a plate, Madison found a table with two chairs over to the side and sat them down.

"Eat, you goon," she commanded Quinn as she pushed the plate in front of her.

Quinn was much too hungry to complain about being called a goon, so she just gave Madison a look as she bit into a small sandwich. Madison picked a cracker off the plate and nibbled on it.

"So, what's _Rebecca's_ real name?"

Swallowing her mouthful, Quinn lowered her arms and rested her sandwich back on the plate.

"Rachel." The response was flat as Quinn tried to hide any emotion from the name.

"What does Rachel look like?" Madison asked. She knew Quinn didn't want to talk about the girl, but Madison felt she had sort of earned the knowledge. She was willing to pretend they were happily dating, after all. Granted, they were already sort of doing that for the cast's benefit anyway. That didn't change the fact.

As if coming to the same conclusion, Quinn took another bite of her sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully.

"She's shorter than you. Kind of tiny. She's like a little teddy bear; the way she makes you want to hold her and never let go. Her hair is this really beautiful chestnut - it's so soft - and it's wavy tonight. I always liked it wavy. She would straighten it a lot in high school because she wanted to somewhat fit in, but wavy was definitely my favorite. Her eyes are a brown that I wouldn't have believed existed if I hadn't seen it myself. The color is just so perfect for her. You know how they say eyes are the gateway to your soul? I don't know if I believe that, but I do know that Rachel's eyes are the most expressive eyes on this planet. She's reminiscent of a doe or something, and-"

"Woah, woah, woah. _slow down_, Q. Short and brunette would have sufficed," Madison interrupted. "Wait- you've known her since high school?"

Quinn flushed at how much she'd given away. _Note to self: slow down on the drinks_, she thought. "Sorry," she mumbled the apology. "Oh, um, yes. We went to the same high school, though we weren't really friends until the end of senior year. Then we were best friends in college. I didn't mean to tell you that though." Quinn tried to stop the verbal diarrhea but her body had other intentions. Her mind was screaming "Stop, you'll regret this!" while her body was saying "Just tell her before you go psycho".

Madison scrunched her face, twisting her pretty features. "How has this never come up before?" she asked.

"I've been avoiding thinking about it for years. Rachel and I haven't talked in just about 5," Quinn explained. "I never expected a situation like this to arise."

"Why? You said you were best friends," Madison shook her head, clearly not in 'the know'.

"Madison, please refer to the book. Just ignore the ages of the characters."

Madison took a moment to think it over. Quinn was best friend's with Rachel. Levin was best friend's with Rebecca. Quinn had feelings (oh please, like that detailed description of the girl was subtle) for Rachel. Levin had feelings for Rebecca. Did Rachel ... _OH_.

Rebecca didn't end up with Levin in the book. She stayed with Frank, the asshole. Madison made the connection before but didn't fully understand all that it entailed.

"What happened?" Madison asked. When Quinn responded with an 'Are you kidding me?' look, the brunette clarified, "I mean, it obviously isn't exactly like the book. You don't have a penis, first off." Quinn looked mortified at the thought, causing Madison to laugh as she continued. "Second off... Okay, I don't really have another point besides the age difference. Regardless, explain the situation to me. Who was, well, is - unless he or she is dead - Frank?"

Quinn was staring at Madison, unblinking eyes connecting in a challenging gaze. Sighing, Quinn relented. She figured Madison would need to hear the story eventually.

"Fine, just let me finish my sandwich," Madison nodded. "And get me another drink."

* * *

**I know it's short but if you combine yesterday's with today's it's a decent length.**

**Review, let me know what you want to see in the drama-filled update coming Friday. I have plans already, but I'm not opposed to adding a few things.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm still ever thankful for the reviews. You guys are like nutella: I can never get enough. Though, I'm not a cannibal so I'd rather not eat your limbs, but I should hope you get my point.**

**I'm overwhelmingly tired but I'm going to try to power this out.**

**Lies, I just took a 4 hour nap. (12 hour nap, actually).**

**Here's a little "smut" if only to tease you. I hope you guys like the chapter.**

**I own nothing, except typos (which I hope my beta makes few and far between).**

**Without further ado, may I present...**

* * *

Chapter 13:

Entering the main room again felt odd to Rachel. Everything was exactly as it had been before; people were talking, drinking, eating, and a few were even dancing. The stage had been put up for music after all. So, as everything was normal, Rachel felt like she was being deprived of something.

_But what? _she thought.

The disappearance of the body behind her let Rachel know exactly why she felt wronged. Though Quinn had been behind Jenna and Rachel as they fled the kitchen, she had managed to make a break for it before too long. If under a minute could be described as too long.

It was quite literally as if nothing had changed, because to everyone else at the party, it hadn't. No one had known that Quinn was Rachel's AWOL best friend from years ago. No one knew how affected either girl was by that moment they'd deemed unworthy of more than a glance or two.

Rachel Berry's world was turned upside-down about thirty minutes ago and no one even knew.

_That's _why Rachel felt awkward, felt herself stiffen, and, most importantly, felt small. No one knew anything about what happened except herself and Quinn. And maybe Jenna knew a little bit, but she didn't know anything about Rachel and Quinn's relationship nor did she know a thing of their past. Whenever she would ask questions about Rachel's life, the brunette would avoid and deflect anything too specific. Rachel had tried to bury it, to ignore it, for it only brought up hurt, pain, and unnecessary feelings like that.

_Regret_, Rachel couldn't stop the progress of the thought. Regret for all she'd said and done to Quinn. For all the doubts she wouldn't let her pride get over.

And maybe for the few things she _didn't _say.

But why say something when she knew she would only end up being let down? Sure, Quinn would've done so gently, but it still would've been devastating.

_More devastating than her leaving was?_  
_  
Stop it!_ Rachel scolded her own thoughts. _Stop it, stop it, stop it._

Tightening her grip on Jenna's hand, Rachel forced herself out of her thoughts. She wouldn't let the previous events of the evening ruin anything. Sure, she had planned on badgering the author all night about the book, mostly about how the ending was ludicrous and, for lack of a better word that she hadn't used already, dumb. And sure, now those plans were ruined seeing as she couldn't spend the rest of the night talking about that cursed book to _Quinn _of all people.

But if Rachel Berry was good at one thing, it was acting (well, singing, but acting was a close second). And act she would. She would act completely unaffected and thrive on Jenna's excitement.

Okay, she would sincerely _try _to anyway—Jenna was busy chatting people up and Rachel found herself incredibly bored. She liked talking to people, usually, but she just didn't want to tonight. She simply couldn't; no conversation would captivate her enough to distract her from her thoughts. So when Jenna was too engrossed in conversation to notice, Rachel grabbed two drinks off of a server's tray and quickly drank one in a few gulps. Setting the glass down on a nearby table, she started working on the second one in a slower fashion than the first.

Having already had alcohol in her system, Rachel was no doubt going to begin feeling the stronger effects soon enough. She only hoped she didn't say something to get herself in trouble.

Jenna hadn't asked about Quinn yet, but Rachel knew her girlfriend was curious. She didn't look suspicious or anything of the sort and for that Rachel was thankful. Yet, how was Jenna going to feel knowing that her new BFF, or whatever Quinn was to her, had abandoned Rachel in college? How had circumstance managed to make Quinn and Jenna like each other anyway?

_Son of a bitch, circumstance_, Rachel thought.

It wasn't that Rachel wanted to make herself the martyr; she just figured that Jenna would see it as Quinn leaving over one bad argument. An argument that left Rachel a little chipped, like a dropped porcelain cup that didn't quite manage to shatter when it fell. Granted, Rachel fell in a different manner, but the point remained; Quinn left Rachel after distancing herself for weeks and it hurt the brunette more than the blonde would ever know.

Back to Jenna, usually people take their significant others' side, and not the side of someone they barely know. Hence why Rachel felt she would be pegged as a martyr, the victim, in Jenna's eyes.

Then again, who was Rachel to assume for Jenna? Girlfriend or not, Jenna was allowed to make her own analysis. Once she heard the whole tale - and Rachel _would _try to tell her an unbiased version - she could decide for herself who was in the wrong. Not that it actually mattered who was wrong because in the end they both lost.

Rachel just didn't want to have to tell Jenna. She _really _didn't.

She'd gone over and over freshman year of college in her head for too long and she promised herself to forget upon graduating. When she found she couldn't forget, she just blocked it out whenever she could manage. Talking about it would just open up old wounds- wounds that Quinn had already started picking at simply by making a reappearance in her life.

"Rach?" Jenna asked, sounding as if she was repeating herself.

"Wha- huh?" Rachel responded, blinking into alertness.

"I asked if you wanted to grab something to eat. It's late and I haven't seen you eat yet, so I was wondering but you kind of zoned out," Jenna explained.

"Oh, um, yea. Sure," Rachel responded as Jenna began guiding her to the table. Gathering some food on her plate, Rachel turned her head a little to see a bowl of grapes. They were a mixed batch of purple and green grapes, to be precise. She smiled a little bit before frowning at a large bowl of bacon only a few items away.

"Jenna, why is there a huge bowl of bacon?" she inquired.

"Quinn wanted it. It's one of the few non-vegan items here, actually," Jenna said mindlessly. She was only half paying attention as she tried to organize her plan of attack on Rachel, thus she didn't realize how her words were affecting her girlfriend. The blonde was curious about Quinn and had actually only used the food as an excuse to get Rachel to spill.

Rachel had tensed at the casual mention of Quinn. She lowered her plate and stared at the bowl filled with the sizzled remains of innocent little pigs. Of _course _Quinn would ask for bacon, it was just so... Quinn.

All of the lectures Rachel had given Quinn about bacon ran themselves around the brunette's mind for a second before fleeing to wherever they came from in the first place. Rachel wondered how much, or how little, Quinn had changed in the last few years. Physically, she had only gotten more beautiful, which was totally unfair because she was already perfect to begin with. However, Rachel wasn't concerned about that; she wanted to know about Quinn emotionally. Clearly she had grown as a person if she was in a relationship with a woman. In college, Quinn had only been curious about her sexuality as far as Rachel knew. She had doubted herself, talked to Rachel about it, but she hadn't dated or even kissed a girl then. Rachel was happy that Quinn had figured it all out, whatever it was, but she was also sad that she wasn't there when the blonde did so. A tugging throb pulled at Rachel's chest and she didn't know how to react to it.

Finally noticing the change in Rachel, Jenna gave the other girl a nudge. Rachel shook her head and grabbed her plate.

"Let's sit down," the smaller girl suggested while gesturing with her free arm. Jenna nodded in agreement and found a small table to sit at, pulling out a chair for Rachel before seating herself.

Rachel smiled at the gesture. Jenna was ever chivalrous if nothing else.

* * *

"So wait, she just up and chose this other girl over you? Ivory?" Madison gave Quinn an exasperated look.

"Avery, but Ivory makes her sound like a hooker, so let's go with that," Quinn laughed. The alcohol had certainly taken effect in the blonde.

"She was an idiot." It was a simple statement but Quinn couldn't help the feeling that she needed to defend Rachel.

"She was in love. Or she thought she was. Who knows," the blonde positioned her elbows on the table and rested her face in her hands.

"Yea, but it's like, bros before hoes, bitch. She took the hoe. She broke the code!"

Quinn chuckled at this. "We're not _guys_ Madison," she chided.

"You're gay, though. It's like the same thing, only you're hotter. And better in bed. By a wide margin," Madison winked.

Rolling her eyes, Quinn moved her hands so they were in front of her, clasped. "Why are you so good to me? Usually break-ups aren't so clean, and yet here you are talking to me about another girl of all things."

Madison shrugged. "I think we make better friends, anyway. Though, now that I think about it, I'm totally going to miss the amazing sex. In fact, I kind of wish we had only ever been friends with benefits in the first place. It would've made everything so much easier in the end. No feelings, just magnificently hot sex."

Quinn would have blushed if she was sober, but she wasn't, so she didn't. Instead, she felt something stir in her stomach and she gave Madison a look.

"Friends with benefits, huh?" she intoned.

"Well, yea. Just think how… Oh, no, Quinn! Absolutely not. Don't even look at me like that," Madison warned when she realized Quinn's eyes were darker than normal. "You're clearly a little too excited right now; you should probably try to calm the hormones. Go take a cold shower, or better yet, sit in an ice bath. Or just picture old naked men." _That last one should turn anyone off, quite honestly_, Madison thought.

Quinn pouted at Madison's refusal, rejection starring as a top emotion in her mind. She didn't want a cold shower, ice bath, or god forbid, the image of naked old men.

"Oh, stop that. You're acting like a five year-old child. Or a drunken twenty-three year-old, but I imagine they're about the same in maturity. You're amazing Quinn, you and I both know it. Hence why you deserve better than that kind of relationship," Madison said. All it took to sate a drunkard was a few kind words. "No matter how enticing the offer seems," she said to herself under her breath.

"I heard that last part. I think. Can I have another drink? Thirsty," Quinn asked.

"I'd say yes if you weren't already to the point of single-worded sentences, babe," Madison smirked. Quinn was kind of adorable when she drank, unless she was at a club. That was when cute went out the window because there was nothing _cute_ about the hot blonde grinding her.

Madison didn't know how well she could handle Quinn as a friend. She was just too damn attractive for her own good. Sighing, Madison tuned back into Quinn who was too busy calling Madison a "meany" to notice the smaller girl had zoned out.

"You're right; clearly I _am _a big fat meany head, but you like it. Now, I feel the need to correct a point I made earlier; I insulted the maturity of all five year-olds when I compared theirs to yours. You ready to leave, Dopey, because you seem ready to me?"

"Dopey? I'm not dopey! I'm not even a dwarf!" the blonde rattled.

"Hah, yea, you're ready. Let's go, I'm taking you to the apartment," Madison said as she began getting up.

"No!" Quinn said a tad louder than necessary. A few heads turned her way, but not too many. She hadn't made a spectacle, fortunately.

"Woah there, why the forcefulness?" Madison asked as she was already sitting back down.

"Rachel." That name alone was enough to tell Madison that she wasn't going to be able to leave anytime soon. "Plus, it's my party, and I'm gonna cry if I want to. You don't want to make me cry do you?" The look on Quinn's face was ridiculous enough to make Madison laugh loudly.

"You are so drunk."

"Yea, well… you were supposed to drink with me. Jerk." Quinn made a faux-mad face at Madison, making her laugh even more.

"Stop it with the facial expressions, you're killing me."

"Good."

Madison rolled her eyes before asking, "So, where?"

Quinn looked puzzled, so Madison continued. "Where is Rachel?"

Realization dawned over the blonde and her eyes widened. She tilted her chin up a little to tell Madison the general direction Rachel was in. Looking slightly to her left, Madison looked for a brunette in a black dress. Quinn had given Madison an even more detailed description during the story, so Madison felt she knew enough to figure out which one was Rachel. There were a few options, but only one had a natural tanned skin tone and was standing with a blonde. A blonde that was just as attractive as Rachel was and _man_ were they both hot. If not for everything it entailed, Madison would have definitely hit on the two. If only she had met the pair at a bar and they were complete strangers. _Can't have everything,_ she mused.

The pair was only a few meters away, but luckily the table they were about to sit at was separated from their own by two other tables. It was a diamond formation, which meant that Madison could still see Rachel and Jenna clearly, as Quinn had informed her was the name of Rachel's girlfriend. Luckily though, the other couple hadn't noticed Madison or Quinn yet, so they were free to watch.

"I really liked Jenna, before now," Quinn scoffed as the other blonde pulled out a chair for Rachel. "I mean, pfft, who _does_ that?"

"You always did for me," Madison pointed out.

Quinn gave Madison an unreadable look. "Yea… but… that was different!" she spurted out.

"Oh, do explain," Madison tried to hold back a smile. She rested her cheek on her hand and gave Quinn an amused look.

"Well, we were cute together. And I was being polite! It was the right thing to do," Quinn knitted her eyebrows.

"Quinn, it's kind of disturbing how similar we are to them, actually. I'm short with darker hair, you're tall with blonde. Rachel and I are super talented actresses, and you and Jenna are our trophy girlfriends. Therefore, I'm going to have to say that they are almost as 'cute' as we were. I say almost only because no one is as amazing as I am," Madison joked.

"They're nothing like us," Quinn argued. "Look at Jenna, she's all… ugh! I can't even speak poorly about her because she's my friend." Quinn managed to look truly upset by this revelation. "But come on! Look at the way they're talking. They're all gross and couple-like."

"If she's your friend then shouldn't you be happy for her?" Madison tried to reason.

"I can't. Even if I wanted to be, which I really don't, I could never be happy for anyone else to be with Rachel," Quinn uttered. Madison had never heard a word of Rachel before tonight besides what Quinn had written in the book, and yet she felt she knew the girl decently enough to grasp the situation. Quinn had spent most of the night so far telling Madison the truth about her past, and Madison couldn't help but find herself rooting for Quinn throughout the tale.

Call her pathetic, but she had wanted Levin and Rebecca to end up together in the book, and so if Rachel and Quinn were the physical manifestations of the two then she could work with that.

It was sad, but she wanted her ex to get the girl.

_Oh god, I'm hopeless,_ the brunette thought.

"Can you be happy for _Rachel?_" she asked Quinn.

Quinn paused as she thought about it. "I don't know. I was well enough knowing that, even though Avery was a psycho bitch, Rachel was happy with her. Well, I was okay until I realized that meant that I had to get over Rachel, that is. That was when things got really bad."

"How so? What happened after you hung up on her?"

"I went down to some administrative people and asked to get my room changed, and they told me it would take eight days. I couldn't sleep in that room, Maddy. Rachel had been in that room and I just couldn't do it."

"Okay, so what did you do for those eight days?"

At this, Quinn looked down and closed her eyes. "Can I have another drink?"

Madison chewed on her lip for a second before deciding Quinn was well enough to have another. Plus, she would be watching over her all night anyway. Quickly getting up, Madison went to the food table and poured Quinn a glass of some green drink. Taste-testing it, Madison gave it a mental thumbs-up and brought it over to her friend. Faux-girlfriend, friend, the same thing these days, right?

"Here," she said, pushing the glass in front of Quinn. Quinn nodded gratefully before taking a sip. "Just give me a moment," the blonde said. Madison silently agreed and allowed a comfortable silence to lay itself over their table.

When Quinn was halfway done with her drink she looked up to Madison and said, "That's actually really good. Any idea what it is?"

"Do I ever?" Madison smiled knowingly. Quinn loved that smile because it made Madison's features light up, but she hated that it didn't set things off within her anymore.

Instead of overthinking things, Quinn just laughed and said, "No, I guess not."

After another moment, Quinn set her glass down and looked up.

"I slept around," the blonde admitted.

Knowing that Quinn was answering her question from before, Madison blinked at the confession.

"You don't actually mean what I believe you're implying, do you? Because what I'm getting from that is that you slept with a lot of different people," the brunette practically choked out. She had never once pegged Quinn as the girl to sleep around.

"You understood just fine. I was all hurt and broken after Rachel chose Avery. I told you, I couldn't sleep in that bed. I had friends I could go to, but Rachel knew all of them so I couldn't ask to sleep in their rooms. That's why I would just go to parties and hook up with random girls. When I did that, I could have a bed to sleep in and I got no-risk-of-pregnancy sex out of it. The alcohol took away the awkwardness of it all, seeing as I had never slept with a girl before then. On the plus side, no one really noticed that I'd never done _it_ before. The ego boost was nice," Quinn rambled.

Madison wished she'd known Quinn then. She knew her well enough now that it must have killed Quinn, or at least part of her, to do any of that. Quinn wasn't the type of girl to have casual sex. Okay, well not _that_ casual. Quinn admitted to a few encounters after junior year of college, but still, a new girl every night? That was not Quinn's style. She cared too much about other people to do that, as well as she knew she was better than that.

"Why?" Madison asked. She wanted to keep the question simple but she hoped Quinn would understand the deeper meaning. Though, maybe relying on a drunken Quinn to understand much of anything was a bad idea.

Surprisingly, Quinn did understand.

"It was the only way to distract myself," Quinn said in a feeble tone. "I wanted to move on."

"Q, have you ever actually moved on?" Madison asked lightly. She reached for Quinn's hands and took them in her own. Quinn didn't pull back, but instead gripped Madison's in return.

Smiling sadly, Quinn looked Madison in the eyes when she said, "I probably would have fallen for you if I had. Minus the whole sleeping-with-Kevin thing, you're kind of perfect."

As much as Madison liked how blatantly honest Quinn was when she was drunk, she did not like the feeling those words gave her. She could have had a great life with Quinn if the blonde had let her. It kind of sucked, a lot.

When Madison started to stand up, Quinn followed suit, though she had no idea why either of them were standing. Madison rushed over to Quinn's side to help her as the blonde was teetering to the side, not quite balanced.

Grabbing Quinn's shoulders, Madison waited until Quinn steadied herself. Once she had, the brunette pulled Quinn in for a hug.

"Umm, not that this isn't nice, but why are you hugging me? Also, your hair smells nice," Quinn said as she breathed in the scent.

Pulling back, Madison said, "Because when you say things like that it makes me want to hug you. Now, let's go dance or something. I'll hold you up, don't worry," she reassured when Quinn gave her a doubtful face.

"Okay," Quinn worried her lip between her teeth but trusted Madison enough to not let her fall on her butt.

With one last look to Rachel's table, Quinn felt her stomach drop when she saw that Rachel was currently attached to Jenna by the lips. Squeezing her eyes shut, Quinn turned back to Madison before the sadness could take over her.

* * *

"Okay, so how do you know Quinn?" Jenna asked once Rachel had settled.

Popping a grape in her mouth, Rachel chewed as she figured out how to answer the question. Figuring a vague truth was the best option for the night, Rachel began the story.

"Quinn and I went to high school together. We weren't friends until senior year, and then we were best friends in the first year of college. She bought a metro pass so we could visit each other often. She went to Yale and as you know I went to NYADA, so we weren't very far from each other. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend, well, ex-fiancé at that point," Rachel paused as Jenna's eyebrows rose.

"Oh, yea, I was engaged at one point. I was stupid and I loved him, so let's not focus on that. Anyway, Quinn helped me through it all and was there for me. Then I met Avery, and you know about her." Rachel said.

"Yea, the crazy?" Rachel nodded. "Okay, so what happened with Quinn?"

Rachel bit her lip. "Avery upset Quinn and I took Avery's side."

Jenna paused. She still didn't know the whole story, but she felt there was a bit more to it than what Rachel was willing to admit.

When Jenna said nothing, Rachel added, "And Quinn left. We were on the phone and she hung up. I tried calling her back after, but she never answered. Then I figured out the truth and felt awful, so I went to visit her but she was gone. She had literally disappeared. I called her every day for a week until she cancelled her phone. I haven't seen or heard from her since then, until today."

"Wow," was all Jenna said.

"Yea. Why didn't you tell me her name was Quinn and not Lucy when you found out?" Rachel accused. She hadn't missed that Jenna had called her Quinn.

"She asked me not to," Jenna said simply.

Rachel picked at some food, letting a wordless acceptance find its way to her girlfriend.

A quick movement to her left caused Rachel to look up. She saw a woman with light brown hair getting up and heading towards the food table. She recognized the woman vaguely but couldn't place her face. She was extremely beautiful so it shouldn't be hard to peg her.

Rachel watched the brunette as she filled a cup with a drink and took a small sip. The woman smiled in delight and turned back to her table. Only when she sat down did realization dawn upon Rachel. That woman was Madison, she knew from the picture that Kevin guy had shown her. So that made the blonde across from her…

Quinn.

The green drink was pushed across the table by Madison and taken by Quinn who took a drink from it immediately. Rachel disliked the smile on Madison's face as she watched Quinn drink- it made her sick in a way she wasn't used to feeling.

In a way that felt too close to jealousy for Rachel to be comfortable with.

"Rach, what are you looking a—" Jenna cut herself off as she followed Rachel's gaze over to a table that she found Quinn and Madison seated at. "Oh."

"It's just weird seeing her after so many years," Rachel said, and while that was true, Rachel couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty for lying to Jenna. Lying by omission, but lying nonetheless.

"I can imagine," the blonde agreed. "Oh, is it weird for you that we're friends?"

"Yea, a little bit," Rachel replied truthfully. It w_as _weird. Not only did Jenna know Quinn, but she was all buddy-buddy with her. Rachel felt like everyone had a piece of Quinn except herself. It wasn't fair.

Oh, and now Quinn was looking at Madison with _that look_, and Madison was reaching for Quinn's hands.

_Pull back, pull back,_ Rachel pleaded.

Instead, she saw Quinn return the hold and inwardly wanted to vomit.

_This isn't how my day was supposed to turn out._

The final punch to her gut was when Madison looked at Quinn and her expression was one of complete adoration.

_She has no right to look at Quinn like that,_ Rachel thought. _Psh, just because they're dating._

When the two stood up and Quinn almost fell over, and damn was it adorable that she looked tipsy, Madison put her hands on Quinn to keep her upright. Rachel felt herself bristle at the action.

All anger flew out the window when Madison embraced Quinn, however, because Rachel saw Quinn inhale deeply. _She's breathing her in,_ she thought pitifully, _because they're dating and they're probably in love, and they're freaking perfect. Just like my life and my luck; freaking perfect._

Turning back to Jenna, who remained completely ignorant of Rachel's thoughts, the brunette looked at her girlfriend longingly.

She could be feeling love towards her. She _should _be feeling love towards her.

Jenna caught the look on Rachel's face and gave her a questioning look in return.

Rachel gestured for Jenna to come closer and leaned over the table. Connecting their lips, Rachel searched for that spark she once felt.

She found none.

"What was that for?" Jenna asked when they broke apart.

"Just because," Rachel lied.

* * *

With the serious conversation finally over, Quinn let the alcohol take its toll. When she and Madison had finally reached the spot where people were dancing, she wrapped her arms around the shorter girl's waist and pulled her close. She smiled as Madison threw her arms around her neck in return.

"I missed this," the blonde said.

"Me too," Madison affirmed.

They swayed to the music until Quinn got antsy. Madison swore alcohol gave Quinn ADD.

"You ready to go?" she suggested.

"No," Quinn declared, "I just want…" she trailed off and rested her head on Madison's shoulder.

"Want what?" Madison asked.

Instead of vocalizing, Quinn moved her mouth to where Madison's shoulder met her neck.

"Quinn," Madison warned.

"Maddy," Quinn whined. She moved her mouth up her neck.

"Quinn, no," Madison tried pushing Quinn off of her but Quinn was stronger and pulled her closer.

"I just want you," Quinn whispered in her ear.

"Quinn Fabray, we're taking you home right now. You're drunk," Madison reinforced. This time, she succeeded in distancing Quinn's mouth from her body.

"But I don't wanna," Quinn practically wailed.

"Dear god you're a child," Madison griped. "Stop fussing," she reprimanded as Quinn struggled when she tried leading her outside.

"I don't like you anymore," the blonde said. "You're no fun."

Rolling her eyes, Madison waited for a cab to take them home and prayed that Quinn would sober up a bit before then. It was only fun if they were together when Quinn was horny and drunk. Now, it was just one big tease for Madison and she knew tonight was going to be a challenge.

* * *

"Why are we here? Weren't we at a party? Why'd we leave?" Quinn interrogated Madison the moment they were in the apartment.

"We left because you tried jumping me on the dance floor, you goon," Madison said.

"Oh, yea," Quinn said with a smile on her face.

"Why are you smiling?" Madison asked warily. Drunk Quinn was unpredictable.

Not giving Madison enough time to object, Quinn literally jumped Madison and pushed her against the door. Connecting their lips, the blonde placed her hands on either side of Madison's head.

Madison tried to turn her head but couldn't, because _damn, _Quinn's tongue had just traced her lower lip and she gasped. Quinn took that as the golden opportunity to further explore Madison's mouth, and Madison was less than objective, returning the kiss.

When Quinn's leg moved to push against Madison's center, however, the brunette snapped back to reality. She pushed Quinn away with finality and licked her lips.

"Quinn! Stop this!" she groaned.

"Madddyyyyyyyyyyyyy," whimpered as she tried to close the distance between them, but she was unsteady on her feet.

"No," Madison said as she turned Quinn around and guided her towards the bathroom. Once in the room, Madison started working on Quinn's zipper.

"I like where this is headed," Quinn mused.

"This isn't headed anywhere you horndog. You're going to shower then you're going to bed. And before you interrupt me, I do mean to sleep when I say to bed."

Quinn closed her mouth, the words dying on her lips.

"You suck," she growled.

"You only wish I did," Madison smirked as the dress fell from Quinn's body. She couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine at the sight.

"Now go shower and let me know when you're done," Madison smacked Quinn's ass before leaving the room.

"Now go shower and be a good girl," Quinn mocked as she stripped the rest of her clothes off. Madison had already managed to remove Quinn's heels so it wasn't so hard.

"I heard that, bitch," Madison called from the bedroom.

"You were meant to," Quinn responded.

* * *

"I'm done!" Quinn shouted as she turned off the shower. She stepped out of the shower and stood naked on the floor mat.

"Okay then let's get you to—QUINN!" Madison shrilled as she walked into the bathroom to find Quinn with no towel on.

"What? You've seen me naked before. And wet," Quinn remarked playfully.

"God, did the shower not sober you up at all?" Madison moaned as she grabbed a towel out of the closet. "Here," she said, tossing the cloth to Quinn.

"Laaaaaame."

Madison peeked an eye open to make sure Quinn had wrapped the towel around herself before fully opening her eyes.

"There are clothes on the bed. Go put them on, please."

Quinn rolled her eyes before heading to the bedroom. She ignored the clothes on the blanket and instead chose to jump on the bed in all her glory. The new sheets smelled like fabric softener. Madison must have replaced them when she was showering because otherwise they would've smelled a lot different.

* * *

Rachel found herself alone in her apartment not long after her conversation with Jenna, so she decided to take a shower. Jenna was forced to stay at the party and close everything down in the kitchen so she would be a while. She had told Rachel not to wait up for her.

Letting the warm water relax her muscles, Rachel eventually ended up sitting under the torrent of water. She pulled her knees in close and rested her head between them. When her life had gotten so complicated, Rachel couldn't say. She'd felt more emotional in the last day than she had in a long time. Some time most likely being five years ago when Quinn left her.

Not even earning her first role in Broadway had caused her to have a reaction similar to the one garnered from seeing Quinn.

As the water began to lose its heat, Rachel turned the knob and cut off the supply. Grabbing a towel, she quickly dried herself off before throwing on a loose shirt and a pair of panties. As she collapsed onto the bed, Rachel just wished for sleep to come so the miserable day would finally be over.

Her wish was granted as she passed out in under a minute.

* * *

There are multiple ways to be woken up from slumber, and while most are bothersome and only allow the waking person to dread what is to come of the day, some are actually pleasurable. Rachel was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a _very_ enjoyable wakening. She felt feather-like kisses trailing down her stomach in a manner so slow it could only be described as torturous, as well as two hands covering her breasts with thumbs rubbing in perfect circles. Eyes still closed, Rachel turned her head upwards towards the ceiling at the sensational feeling.

She felt her hands reach down of their own volition and her fingers found their destination. Threading her fingers into the soft hair, Rachel tried to nudge the kisses lower to where she needed them the most. Embarrassment crashed into Rachel like waves as she realized just how much she needed that mouth on her, and her eyes flashed open so she could look down.

She could _feel _how wet she was, and she was sure that the face behind those blonde locks was smirking with the knowledge of just how ready the brunette was.

"Please," Rachel begged when the movement stopped. She felt herself throbbing and just wanted a release.

A light laugh caused lips to vibrate on _all_ the right places and Rachel moaned as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Please what?" a husky voice demanded an answer, all of the sweet mouth-to-center contact broken.

Rachel whined at the missing warmth and looked down.

Suddenly, her eyes bugged out, her mouth ran dry, and her breath hitched to a painful point. Those short blonde locks didn't belong to Jenna, nor did those intricately designed hazel eyes.

"Q-Quinn?" she managed something between a stutter and a gasp.

Before Quinn could answer, reality crashed down on Rachel and she sprang out of bed. She was sitting up, covered in sweat, and her heart was beating extremely fast. The painful throb between her legs informed her that just because the dream wasn't real, that didn't make her any less aroused.

As the images of the dream played in re-runs, Rachel was left to deal with the shame of knowing she'd just had a wet dream about Quinn. Even worse, she was forced to simultaneously deal with the knowledge that she was more turned on by the less-than-involved dream than she had been by anyone in a long time, even Jenna.

* * *

**I promised you 8k but it's been a rough day. I figure almost 7k is a decent amount, yes? **

**Sorry it's technically Saturday (even though there's no "technically" about it).**

**I truly meant to upload before 4:30pm New York time, but I didn't finish in time and I worked from 5-12. So, I know that it's an hour and nineteen minutes late, seeing at it's 1:19am. Sorry.**

**Hope you liked it. **


	14. Chapter 14

**To the guest comments, I cannot address you personally as, well, you're guests! But, I do want to thank you so much for your reviews :) They make me smile.**

**Most of you: I'm so glad you liked it ^_^ And the dream, haha.**

**Fortmiller: Nah, I like her too xD**

**Iza. G: ;) mayyyyyyyyybeee**

**xom: ZING! Good catch. This site is easier for me to catch up on as well. And I usually post a few hours earlier on here.**

**NoEnvyNoFear: Sorry! Lol. I've stayed up late many a time for good stories and I'm super happy that mine was _that_ kind of story for you. Or… is. :D And I hope it continues to be.**

**This update is a little shorter, but I'll be updating again on Thursday night. (I had college orientation and I just got home).**

**My last note before my disclaimer is that: I write when I'm happy. Reviews make me happy. See where I'm going with this? ;)**

**I'm doing this whole "I don't own any of the characters or anything, really" thing. I do own the typos, but that's about it. So, yea. I SHALL COMMENCE.**

* * *

Chapter 14:

Saturday morning was not a pleasant morning for one Quinn Fabray. In fact, waking up would only begin the disastrous cycle of the events that were destined to take place throughout the day. First things first, the blonde woke up feeling like a bit colder than normal, and when she tried to bring her legs up to her chest to better preserve any heat that her body retained, an extreme wave of nausea ran over her. The closing distance between leg and stomach put a pressure on the latter and it was immensely unpleasant to say the least.

Quinn's eyes popped open as she grasped for the side of the bed, groaning in pain as her head wished for her to cease and desist any movement whatsoever. Before the blonde had any time to consider how or when it had gotten there, she found herself heaving the contents of her stomach into an orange pail. There was a warm feeling on her back, and she vaguely recognized it as Madison's hand rubbing comforting circles between her shoulder blades.

When she was through with the bucket, Quinn stilled and tried to gain some ounce of clarity. It took a few moments but she came to enough sense to realize that she was 1) hung over 2) naked and 3) naked, hung over and confused as to why she was both of those.

Quinn wasn't even a hundred percent positive that it had been Madison's hand on her back, but she duly hoped so. She didn't know what she would do if it was anybody else. She considered dying on the spot from pure mortification, though she doubted she'd be lucky enough for that.

"Here, drink some water," a soft voice said as a glass of water was moved into Quinn's field of vision. Quinn blinked a few times; her eyes were still watery from just a few moments ago.

"Thanks," Quinn said, extremely thankful for both the water and the fact that she recognized the voice as Madison's.

"No problem, Q," the voice chuckled. "The clothes from last night are still lying at the foot of the bed when you're ready to put them on. They're pajamas, but you need to go back to sleep anyway."

Quinn continued drinking from her glass as she tried to figure out what Madison meant by "still lying". That implied that they had been there before Quinn fell asleep, and Quinn was naked…

_Oh dear god, that's embarrassing,_ Quinn blushed into her glass as some of the night's events flooded into her memory. She was absolutely horrified to recall all but throwing herself at Madison, while she literally jumped on the poor girl. Counteracting these thoughts, Quinn was filled with a heart wrenching sense of gratitude towards Madison for not taking advantage of her in her clearly inebriated state.

Setting the water down, Quinn reached across the blanket for the clothes that Madison had mentioned. There was a shirt, sweat pants, and underwear, and Quinn was more than happy to throw them on. The shirt was easy, but the bottoms were more tricky as they involved Quinn either standing up (near impossible to do so without falling over) or laying down and lifting her hips (stomach upside-down? Bad idea).

Sensing the dilemma, Madison walked over to her friend and offered her hand. Quinn reached up and grasped the hand, slowly rising up out of bed. Usually she would be embarrassed by her naked state, but she'd been bare in front of Madison so many times it really wasn't that uncomfortable.

Madison grabbed Quinn's hands and placed them on her own shoulders and she knelt down and said, "Leg."

Following orders, Quinn lifted up her left leg and Madison guided the cotton cloth up her calf before repeating the same process with Quinn's other leg. As Quinn pulled the garment up the rest of the way, Madison grabbed the pants and hoisted them up in a similar fashion. Quinn almost fell forward, and she would have if Maddy hadn't prevented it.

Setting Quinn back down, Madison helped her lay down again and tucked the blanket around her. "You're much more cooperative this way, you know. Drunk you was incorrigible," the brunette joked.

"Sorry," Quinn apologized as her face flooded with heat, but Madison hushed her. "Don't be."

"Will you lay with me?" she asked quietly. While Madison was helping her change a thought had crossed her mind and she was overcome with the feeling of loneliness. Feeling Madison's hand graze her leg, Quinn had thought, _What if this was Rachel I was so comfortable with?_

But "what ifs" were exactly that; situations that were never going to happen because they reflected opportunity costs of the past.

Madison somehow discerned what Quinn was feeling because she hesitated before rounding the bed and crawling behind Quinn. She wrapped her right arm around the blonde's waist and lightly pulled herself closer so as not to upset Quinn's stomach any further.

"Until you fall asleep," she promised quietly. Quinn closed her eyes and relaxed before falling back to sleep within minutes, only to find herself in the same dream she had originally woken up from.

* * *

Still lying in bed, a sweaty, painfully aroused Rachel tried to reign in her scattered thoughts, but she failed miserably. Her attempt to get even a small grip on her own emotions was completely trashed when she heard the apartment door open. Frantic, Rachel covered up her legs as the wet patch on her underwear was more than slightly telling.

The unforeseen problem Rachel faced was when she clamped her legs shut to further hide the evidence; she had apparently forgotten how sensitive she was at the moment because the pressure she had introduced caused an unstoppable moan to issue from her mouth and she just knew that there was no way Jenna _hadn't _heard it. Mentally face-palming, Rachel laid back down in bed and turned on her stomach. Again, the brunette was not thinking even remotely straight as the blanket twisted with her legs slide upwards, hitting her in the exact place she wished any movement would simply avoid.

She felt the whimper escape more than she heard it and she squeezed her eyes shut and dug her face into the pillow. Desiring only to fall asleep as soon as possible, the brunette consciously slowed her breathing.

It was going to be a long, rough night for Rachel Berry.

* * *

"Rach, are you okay? I heard weird noises?" Jenna's voice filled the silence of the dark bedroom. She avoided turning on the light incase Rachel was still sleeping.

Her question answered by uninterrupted stillness, Jenna simply assumed Rachel was making sounds in her sleep. She did that sometimes, mostly mumbling incomprehensible coherencies. Gently placing her bags on the floor to the right of the threshold, Jenna walked to the en suite bathroom and prepared herself for a shower.

She had stayed late to help clean up the kitchen, as she usually did, and was more than ready to just shower and pass out. Hoping she wasn't making too much noise, the blonde turned the handle of the faucet and stepped under the tranquilizing stream of water that followed. Soon enough, the scent of her shampoo filled the bathroom and allowed her to reach a whole new level of comfort that would lead to drowsiness in few moments.

Once finished washing herself, Jenna grabbed a towel and stepped into the bedroom. Shaking out her hair, she dropped the towel to the ground, grabbed some night clothes, and clambered into bed to lay behind Rachel.

She couldn't be sure, but the blonde could have sworn that she heard the name "Quinn" fall off of Rachel's lips before she slipped into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Madison figured she would remove herself from behind Quinn after she was positive that the blonde was asleep, but she found herself a bit nostalgic over the position they found themselves in and decided to instead relish in the moment.

The two were now merely extremely close friends, and Madison had accepted that. She remembered seeing a quote somewhere that said something about exes being friends meant that they were never in love to begin with, and Madison could understand that. She hadn't really been _in _love with Quinn, so while it sucked that they weren't together anymore, the brunette felt okay about their whole situation. _Could _she have fallen in love with the blonde that lay sleeping right in front of her? Yes, absolutely. It wouldn't be so hard, as amazing as Quinn was.

Madison drew patterns on Quinn's arm as she serenely considered her "what ifs". What if there had never been a "Rachel" in Quinn's life? But then Quinn never would've written the book, Madison never would have gotten the part in a great movie, and the two never would've met anyway.

"What ifs" were futile. There was always a factor that was dependent on another factor and nothing would ever work out perfectly, so in the end Madison just smiled to herself contentedly. They'd had a good run and now she was ready to help Quinn get Rachel.

First things first, she had to see if Rachel and Jenna were _real. _She wasn't going to play home wrecker—not even for Quinn.

Second, she had to see if Rachel felt anything for Quinn. Quinn had mentioned at one point throughout the night that even though she had written the book to make Rebecca's feelings known to the reader, she didn't actually know if Rachel felt similar. That part was purely her greatest hope and she pulled it from her imagination.

Third, she had to get Rachel to make the first move because there was no way Quinn was going to.

Deciding on a plan of action, Madison slowly moved off the bed so as not to rock the mattress enough to wake up the slumbering form of Quinn.

* * *

Even though Rachel had showered before falling asleep, upon waking up she felt the need to take another one. Besides the fact that she was sticky from sweat, among other things, she felt emotionally dirty, too. She hoped that maybe cleansing her body physically would also cleanse her mind of the dream. It wasn't as if she would actually forget the dream anytime soon, because there was no way she could _unsee_ the image of Quinn about to go down on her, but it was a faint hope.

Waking up with Jenna's arm flopped over her waist only made Rachel feel worse about the whole ordeal. Not only had Rachel had the sex dream about Quinn, but she had pretended to be asleep when Jenna entered the bedroom. She had even managed to clonk out before Jenna was done showering only to find her dreams once again focusing on a different blonde, only this time they weren't so cheery. Instead of lust, the new dreams incorporated loss and loneliness, and left Rachel feeling like she was missing something; like she was lacking something vital.

Placing both hands on the shower wall and standing comfortably, Rachel bowed her head. As her chin tucked itself into her collarbone, she stood under the flow of water and just breathed as she allowed herself to think for once.

Rachel didn't have a clue as to what she was supposed to be thinking at the moment, however, and she felt something constrict in her chest. She felt wretched for having feelings about someone that wasn't Jenna, especially if she did indeed have real feelings for Quinn; Quinn, of all people. She felt lonely even though Jenna was in the next room, and she hated herself for it because she wouldn't feel lonely if she talked to Jenna about it all. She was considerably desperate because as much as she wanted to tell Jenna simply to get it off of her chest, she couldn't hurt Jenna that way, even though she knew she'd end up hurting her somehow in the long run. She was discomposed as to why Quinn making a single, stunningly short reappearance in her life would cause her so much stress. Finally, Rachel was lost when it came to deciding what to do, but she also felt hopeful and she couldn't quite place the reason, even if she had a guess.

She couldn't help that she was excited that Quinn might return into her life; they'd made great friends, after all. Rachel secretly hoped that her misplaced feelings for the blonde were just because she hadn't seen her in years, and nothing else. If that was the case, then the tight feeling in her stomach would go away soon enough and she could actually manage to look Jenna in the eye.

It's not like Rachel could control her dreams, right? Jenna couldn't hold that against her. Right?

* * *

**Again, it's short. Like me :D**

**Again, next update Thursday.**

**This was un-beta'd, so there's probably more mistakes than usual.**


	15. Chapter 15

**As some of you have hoped for, here comes another Faberry encounter. It really sucks to be Quinn.**

**I'm wondering how you guys feel about Jenna? Personally, all I can ever think while I write is, "Aww man, poor girl." And wow, a lot of you want to see Madison and Jenna together, lol. Mind bend.**

**As always the alerts, favorites, and reviews never go un-cherished. Thank you so much.**

**I don't own anything below except the typos.**

* * *

The second time Quinn woke up was not nearly as dramatic as the first time. Instead of being overwhelmed by her hangover, the blonde merely felt a dull throb pace through her mind. It was not unbearable in the least, and Quinn actually felt a lot better. That's not to say she still didn't feel like crap, because she did, she just felt like a much less crappy piece of crap than she did earlier.

Quinn did not fail to notice the lack of a presence behind her, and she turned in bed to double check as to whether or not Madison was still lying in bed with her. The space next to her was cold and empty, however, and Quinn absently wondered whether or not Madison was still even in the apartment. The sound of movement from within the kitchen alerted the blonde to the fact that there was indeed someone inside the apartment, so she forced herself out of bed to see what the entire racket was about.

Quinn's footsteps were virtually inaudible as she barely picked up her feet with each step in the first place. The pace at which she walked was similar to the speed at which her mind was currently functioning; slow and steady. The blonde's thoughts were muddled and all she could truly focus on was the bitter taste in her mouth that left her throat dry, as well as the suppressed hunger that was trying to make its way out.

She hazily remembered Madison dressing her, hence why she wasn't naked, and she was grateful for the sweatpants as she felt goosebumps sprout over her bare arms. She was a bit cold, so she wrapped her arms around herself protectively and rubbed her hands up and down to produce any meager amount of heat possible. It wasn't really that the apartment was cold, because it was actually a decent temperature; it was that Quinn didn't have much in her system and she had just dragged herself out of a warm bed. The thought of the bed holding a hidden heat was enough to make Quinn wish she were back under the covers, but she continued her journey to the kitchen nevertheless.

As Quinn reached the opening of the kitchen, a string of Spanish obscenities was heard and she reached the conclusion that Madison was not, indeed, in her kitchen. A lighter voice was heard shortly after, and the words spoken were clearly meant to soothe the other person. "Sanny, just run it under the water and then I'll kiss it and make it all better."

Quinn swore she could physically hear Santana relax upon hearing the promise and the sound of flowing water, and as she walked into the room fully she was greeted with the sight of Brittany following through with her promise and kissing Santana's finger.

Clearing her throat, Quinn inwardly laughed as the Latina hastily pulled her hand away from her girlfriend's lips. Brittany made a noise at Santana's swift withdrawal, and the guilty brunette sent her an apologetic smile in response.

"Not so macho anymore, S?" Quinn teased as she sat down at the island. She took in the forms of her friends and noticed they were dressed for the day. Santana was wearing a white shirt with a thin black jacket and a patterned scarf, along with jeans and black boots. Brittany was wearing a loose grey shirt with the outline of a heart on it, paired with black jeans, converse, and a beanie.

"Shut it, Fabray. You should be damn thankful you have friends awesome enough to come over early on a Saturday morning to help nurse your drunken ass," Santana retorted.

"She's also really happy to see you," Brittany cheered as she enveloped the other blonde in a hug. "So am I, obviously, 'cause we missed you" she added as she released her tight grip.

"Nice to see you guys, too," Quinn smiled lightly.

"Yea, this makes it twice since we kicked you out," the Latina rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"We didn't kick her out, though, did we, San? I thought she left because she got her own apartment?" Brittany worried as she began to search for the cabinet with plates in it.

"Yea, San, I left on my own," Quinn taunted.

"Ugh, fine. Make your own damn pancakes, Q. I already burned myself once for you; don't expect anything else of me because that just about fills my quota for the year," Santana stated as she, too, sat at the island.

"San! Quinn doesn't feel good, she can't make pancakes!" Brittany chided as she finally found the right cabinet.

Quinn couldn't help the beaming smile that formed on her face from being around Brittany and her kindness; it was nigh impossible to be grumpy around the other blonde. Hence why Santana was quite fascinating to watch when Brittany was around; the inner struggle over whether or not to eviscerate Quinn with words was clear in the Latina's eyes.

Groaning, Santana stood back up and went back to the stove where she eyed the heated pan warily. Pouring a pale mixture onto the metal she looked back and glared at Quinn who was watching the whole ordeal with an amused expression. The brunette stuck her tongue out at her friend while Brittany wasn't looking and managed to make a few quality pancakes.

Finished, she shoved a full plate (the plate provided by Brittany's successful search) in front of Quinn and said, "Now hurry up so we can go out," in a demanding tone.

Instead of questioning her friend, Quinn obeyed and ate her breakfast quickly while the couple in front of her told her their plans for the day.

"Yea, and once we're done shopping we're going out to lunch at this place Britt has developed a new love for. On you of course," Santana added after Brittany happily mentioned shopping.

Quinn rolled her eyes at the Latina's statement, but she didn't mind the implication because she would've paid for lunch regardless seeing as they came over this morning in order to check in on her. Which reminded her; "Why are you two here, exactly?"

The pair stopped chattering and looked at Quinn for a moment. Realizing that the blonde must have been at least a little surprised to find them mysteriously in her kitchen, Brittany broke the silence to explain.

"That really hot actress you dated called us. She said she had to leave and didn't want you to wake up alone."

"Yea," Santana grumbled. "She called us at _8 in the morning_ and said you woke up, puked your guts out, and then passed out again. Then she told us that she had to leave to plan things and Brittany wouldn't let me sleep in after that, so we came." In order to emphasize her point of tiredness, Santana dropped her head onto her folded arms and sighed.

"Yea, plus your friend said you kept walking around naked. San and me were hoping it was true," at this Brittany pouted, "but you were still sleeping when we got here." Deepening her expression into a frown, the blonde added, "With clothes on."

At Brittany's statement, Quinn's eyebrows rose and she glanced questioningly at Santana who at least had the decency to flush red.

"Britt…" she grouched.

"What? We never sleep with clothes on. San says it's bad for our health," Brittany explained to Quinn. Addressing her wife, the blonde continued, "San, when she stayed with us you said she had a really nice a—" Brittany was cut off by the Latina's hand covering her mouth.

"Q, go get ready so we can leave already," the brunette said hurriedly. From Brittany's facial expression alone Quinn was almost positive that the blonde's tongue was running itself along Santana's blockade, teasing her.

Laughing, Quinn stood up and left the kitchen only to head to her room so she could change. She ignored any sounds coming from her kitchen and really hoped that Santana hadn't decided to christen the island with Brittany.

Then again, she already had a new apartment so it really didn't matter.

* * *

A day can be deceptive in many ways, but for Quinn the deception of this particular day was exceptionally cruel. She woke up feeling like death only to be doted on by Madison, who was becoming a great friend throughout everything. She fell asleep happily and woke to find her two old best friends making her breakfast in the kitchen (or at least trying to), so it was only proper for Quinn to think that her day was going to be great.

She shouldn't have counted her chickens so early.

Hanging out with Brittany and Santana all day was supposed to be fun; it was supposed to help Quinn relax from the stress induced by the previous night, even if Santana and Brittany had no idea that Quinn felt this way. Instead of the reposeful day she had planned inside her head, Quinn was subjugated to a burly man saying something upsetting to Brittany within the first hour, which no doubt caused Santana's inner anger monkey to make an appearance. After having to hold her friend back so as to avoid an altercation that would surely end in a new, liquid version of the Latina, Quinn wasn't really in the mood for shopping right away and suggested going to a coffee shop.

Brittany jumped on the idea and efficiently pulled out her phone to text something to someone. Before either Santana or Quinn could question the tall blonde, Brittany grabbed the duo by their arms and dragged them after her at a brisk pace.

"Where are we going, B?" Santana managed to ask after a moment of complete disorientation. Quinn, too, found herself completely bewildered by Brittany's actions and chose to remain silent. She didn't feel the need to probe for an answer because the taller blonde had a way of making her answers more confusing than the original problem, and right now all Quinn wanted was peace of mind.

"To a coffee shop, silly," Brittany gave Santana a ridiculous look and Quinn found herself laughing for the first time since breakfast.

Santana opened her mouth to reply, but she found herself shutting it seconds later as she realized Brittany wasn't being oblivious; she was purposely being vague. Santana felt suspicion creep up on her but decided not to address it because she knew that if Brittany wanted to share what she was thinking, she would have.

"Which one?" Quinn inquired. She decided that the answer should be simple enough.

"One that you'll like, Quinn!" Brittany cheered with high spirits. Santana shot Quinn a look that was instantly returned by the blonde, and the look expressed the blatant cluelessness that both of them felt.

"Why is she going to like it, B?" Santana asked cautiously, hoping to be enlightened. Unfortunately for her, however, Brittany just hummed in response. Both women continued to allow themselves to be pulled by the taller blonde until they finally reached the coffee place that Brittany apparently thought Quinn would be particularly fond of.

"I've never been here before," Quinn stated, perplexed as to why Brittany would think she would like this place more than any other.

"I know you haven't, that's not why we're here," the taller blonde shook her head.

"Then why are we here, Britt?" Quinn grilled. She could never be annoyed with Brittany, but she was growing impatient what with all the ambiguous answers.

"To get coffee, Q. I thought that was obvious."

"Britt—" Quinn started but was cut off by Santana.

"B, what are you hiding?" the Latina inquired softly. She understood that Brittany wanted to keep whatever it was a secret, but she could see Quinn's composure slipping and hoped the answer would come soon.

"Why are you two looking at me funny? Let's go get a table, I see an open one over there," Brittany scurried over to a table that could fit up to six people, only deepening the curiosity Quinn and Santana were feeling. Why would they need a table for more than three?

Following suit, the two walked over to the table and sat down; Santana next to Brittany, and Quinn across from the brunette and at the right corner of the table.

"Why such a big table, Britt?" Santana wondered aloud.

Instead of answering in words, Brittany looked towards the door of the coffee shop and a huge smile formed on her lips. Scrutinizing the look of excitement on her face, Santana and Quinn also turned their gazes towards the door only to react in completely dissimilar ways.

Santana sprung out her chair and left Brittany's side to half-run at the newcomers, encasing a small brunette in a hug that, years previous, she would have never been caught dead giving. Granted, mere seconds later, Brittany had joined in on the hug and had wrapped the smaller brunettes in an ever-tightening hug.

"Midget!" the Latina greeted happily.

"Satan, Brittany" the brunette smiled back jokingly at the Latina's name. In response, Santana ruffled the smaller girl's hair, gaining her a light shove and a harrumph.

Still sitting in her chair, Quinn's lips were slightly parted in shock and she felt like she was at the party all over again. She hadn't expected to see Rachel so soon; she figured she'd wait a week to figure out a date for the coffee she'd promised her… ex best friend. This was too soon and Quinn was on the verge of panic.

Throughout her five years of Rachel-free exile, Quinn had imagined seeing the brunette and how she would react. The awkwardness of the party had been similar to what she had expected, but she imagined it only being a one-time thing; she didn't want to invite the girl back into her life. She knew it would be quite painful, and she wasn't sure if it was worth all the pain just for friendship.

Questions without answers drove around Quinn's mind in a painful fashion and the blonde couldn't have kept up even had she tried. Instead, she managed to focus on a few points: Had Brittany been texting Rachel? Did Rachel know Quinn was here? And finally, what the hell was going to happen next? The apocalypse, maybe? Quinn could use some zombies to smash right about now.

"Thanks for inviting me, Brittany. However, I noticed that you were sitting with someone else. Why didn't you tell me you brought a—" Rachel cut herself off as she lifted her heels to get a better look at the woman who had been seated across from her friends at the table. "Quinn?" came her strangled cry.

The blonde in question was slightly comforted by the fact that Rachel appeared to be stupefied by her presence; Rachel being unaware that Quinn had been with Brittany and Santana meant that this wasn't some attack on Quinn and that Rachel would most likely be as awkward as herself.

Based on this information, Quinn came to the conclusion that playing confident would be her best bet at avoiding an overt amount of awkwardness, so she stood up and walked over to the trio.

"Rachel," she greeted with a pleasant smile. She wouldn't push for a hug because while part of her begged for one, the rest screamed against it with every fiber of her being. No, she would not hug Rachel because it would kill her inside, and Quinn was no masochist. Well, not in this circumstance.

Rachel's lips twitched in an awkward smile as she, too, greeted Quinn. "Hi." An inexplicable blush crossed over her features and Quinn was left to ponder at the cause of it.

Sensing the uncanny tension between the two, Santana ushered everyone over to the counter so they could order their respective drinks. "Okay, okay. The mushy moment is over, now let's get our drinks."

Thankful for the decoy, Quinn turned towards the counter and gestured for the other three to go ahead of her; she wanted a moment to regroup. To Quinn's benefit, Rachel moved up ahead to speak to Brittany while Santana joined Quinn in the back.

"What the hell was that, Q?" she asserted. "Not even Finnept would've missed that… whatever that was," the Latina waved her hands in Rachel's general direction.

"I don't want to talk about it, San" the blonde replied, finality claiming her tone.

"You damn well better explain later then, because small fry was excreting distress in amounts large enough to rival Finnocence's sweat glands," Santana demanded.

Quinn could only roll her eyes at her friend, more than happy to be off of the topic already.

"I'm serious, Q."

"I know," Quinn replied as she stepped up to order.

* * *

Once the four received their drinks, a horrifying fact dawned upon Quinn; Rachel would be sitting next to her at the table. To add insult to injury, the blonde wasn't even supplied time to fully comprehend this tidbit of information before Rachel turned to the chiming door and squeaked out a "Jenna!"

Alarmed, Quinn snapped her gaze over to the door again and a miserable sense of déjà vu washed over her. She was not disappointed in her expectations as right next to Rachel's girlfriend stood the olive-skinned form of none other than her own fake girlfriend.

"Madison." There was no question in what fell from the blonde's lips, but there was a burning accusation. Madison, never one to hide her greatest accomplishments, winked at Quinn before dragging Jenna to the counter to order.

"Why me?" Quinn muttered under her breath sadly as she sat down and buried her face in her hands.

* * *

"I'm so confused right now. Brit, could you please explain what's going on?" Santana took a look around the table and found it incredibly easy to see the unease on most of the faces looking back at her.

"It'll probably be easier for me to explain," Madison chimed. "I'm dating Quinn, Quinn hired Jenna to cater for her, Jenna's dating Rachel, and Rachel and Quinn know each other from a long time ago. You knew the last part, though, I'm just reiterating. Quinn told me that she told Rachel over here that they should meet for coffee sometime, and I wanted to meet her, so I figured I'd invite Jenna along. Then I asked Brittany to be my distraction while I set it all up," Madison ended the explanation with a charming smile.

"What do you mean by 'set it all up?'" Quinn asked with a tensed jaw. She was willing to kill Madison in this moment and at least wanted to know the reason she'd be going to jail for murder.

"Our day, of course! Jenna has off, Rachel has off, I have off, and _you_ have off, too, missy. Okay, well, Rachel has her show, but that's part of the plan so it's okay. Santana and Brittany are just here for the show."

"What show?" the Latina asked as Brittany just smiled and clapped her hands. "Rachel's show?"

"Well, that too, but that's not the one I was referring to," Madison clarified. "The show I am referring to should have much more drama in it."

During the whole conversation, Quinn was glaring at Madison while Rachel had tilted her head and was listening intently. Jenna had already had Madison explain everything to her on the walk over so she just sipped her drink and watched the reactions of everybody else.

There was a little bit of awkwardness as not everyone at the table knew each other, so Jenna was grateful that Madison had one of those personalities that made her feel like she'd known the girl for years. Getting a call from actress had been surprising to say the least, but after Rachel had left early announcing she had plans with old friends, Jenna was thankful for it. Madison explained that she was Quinn's girlfriend and wanted to hang out, so when she suggested meeting Rachel and Quinn at a local coffee shop, Jenna obliged happily. Madison had mentioned that the two friends Rachel had mentioned would also be there, but had only added "the more, the merrier".

Rachel would go out with Santana and Brittany once or twice a month, and Jenna accepted the fact that Rachel wanted to go alone every time. The brunette claimed that her friends were like an acquired taste and she wanted to wait for a time that Jenna wasn't busy with work for her to meet them. Unfortunately for Jenna, Rachel always happened to choose times that Jenna _was_ busy with work to go out.

That said, Jenna was finally happy to meet Brittany and Santana. Though she was a bit concerned for whichever one was the blonde one as she had a knowing smile playing on her face that made Jenna wonder what it was for.

Madison, on the other hand, had met Brittany and Santana many times. Granted, for most of the time she knew the pair, Santana had hated her and Brittany forgot her name, but she knew them nonetheless.

"Just to clear some things up," Madison began, "Madison, Rachel, Quinn," she pointed to herself and the other two respectfully. "Jenna, Brittany, Santana," again she pointed to the beholders of each name. "Now we all know each other so may the events of today begin."

"Nice to meet you, Madison," Rachel turned to her left and smiled, but it looked strained.

Madison picked up on Rachel's dismay straight away and pocketed her reaction in the back of her mind. Madison knew resentment when she saw it and couldn't help the elation that filled her bones knowing that it was directed at her.

"Right back atcha, Rach. I've heard _so_ much about you," Madison almost giggled at the look that emphasis had earned her from Quinn. Rachel's reaction was relative, too, as a flush of pink tinted her cheeks. _Is that a satisfied smirk I see?_ Madison thought. Rachel's features changed drastically as she realized that Madison probably knew everything about college, based on the emphasis she put into her words. The pink tint in her cheeks darkened to a red before fading away and leaving Rachel looking stricken.

"All good things; don't worry," Madison patted the smaller brunette's shoulder.

Jenna had sensed Rachel's shame when Madison had spoken and her heart went out to her girlfriend. Jenna read the guilt on Rachel's face when she turned to dart a glance at Quinn and she wished that the brunette didn't feel that way. Rachel had made a decision in college that she very much regretted, and now, years later, it was still affecting her.

Relaxing, Rachel leaned back in her chair and decided to watch for once instead of playing a part.

"So _you're_ the infamous Jenna?" Santana raised an eyebrow to Jenna.

Placing her cup on the table, Jenna nodded politely. "That would appear to be me."

Quinn felt her shoulders tense at the presumption that Rachel had talked about Jenna often to her two friends. Quinn hadn't even realized that Rachel still communicated with Santana and Brittany, let alone met with them often enough to discuss Jenna.

Santana seemed perturbed by the recent chain of events and only managed to reply with a "Hmm…" The Latina glanced at Jenna, then at Rachel, before sliding her gaze over to Quinn and Madison.

_Oh, this is too good,_ she thought as she connected gazes with Madison and saw her own amusement reflected in bright green eyes. The brunettes looked at each other with mirth filling their expressions until Santana couldn't hold it in anymore and allowed laughter to burst out of her.

Everyone at the table looked at the laughing brunette in speculation except for Madison and Brittany, both of whom were hiding smiles behind coffee cups.

_This is going to be fun, _all three of them thought.

* * *

**I promised a longer one but it's so hard to find motivation to write. Agh. It's somewhere around 4k.**

**Next update (possibly) Tuesday, and it **_**will**_** be 6k+. I say possibly because I'm working 40 hours and I'm trying my best at having a life.**

**Let me know how you feel, what you want to see next chapter. I can't guarantee I'll incorporate it, but it's not altogether impossible. I'm dying for some inspiration.**


	16. Chapter 16

**This week was the worst. My weekend was amazing, and then work came crashing down. I know it's way late… :( So, so sorry.**

**Speaking of awkward—I can't believe I spelled Brittany wrong. My excuse is… oh, wait— don't have one. I know how to spell it, I just clearly wasn't thinking.**

_**Embarrassing.**_

**Fortunately, whoever warned me was quick so I fixed it early. Thank you for that :)**

**I own nothing except the typos you are likely to find. (Hopefully no more names!)**

**Speaking of sexual tension…**

**Wait, what?**

* * *

Chapter 16:

After Santana's strange outburst of amusement, everyone finished their drinks while partaking in casual conversation with each other. Much to Rachel's chagrin, the Latina never did explain what was _so_hilarious; instead she had asked Jenna about her job, successfully changing the subject.

As Jenna began her explanation, Rachel zoned out due to all of her focus being captivated by the blonde to her right instead. Quinn was contentedly sipping her drink and Rachel felt like a creep for following her movements in her peripheral vision. She didn't feel creepy enough to stop her actions, but she did try to conceal them as best as she could.

Due to her vigilance, the brunette was able to detect a slight shaking of pale fingers. Rachel wondered if maybe the caffeine was at cause, for it was more of a vibration than literal shaking. She secretly hoped that the caffeine had nothing to do with it because while the blonde seemed cool on the outside, Rachel wondered what was _actually_going on in that beautiful mind.

Rachel herself was a ball of tightened nerves and her stomach felt like expelling everything inside of itself. She had never been more thankful for her acting skills in her entire life; she would need all of them today if she was going to survive. She had already made a few mistakes and she'd only been in Quinn's presence for under an hour:

1) She had, for lack of a better word, squawked upon discovering that Quinn was at the coffee shop.  
2) She had blushed when she met Quinn's eyes because the memory of her dream had made an appearance. This one wasn't completely her fault as how is one supposed to react when they meet the gaze of someone they dreamed had almost gone down on them? There really is no way to properly react.

There were probably more mistakes that she made, but Rachel didn't want to focus on them. Right now she needed to focus on making it through the day.

Yet, how was she supposed to manage such a daunting task when the two weren't even technically speaking? Rachel didn't know where Quinn stood on any terms; did she want to be friends? Did she never want to see Rachel again? Would she want to talk about the past?

Rachel had so many questions that had gone unanswered for years and it was finally taking its toll. She had gone for so long wondering where her friend had disappeared to, if she was okay, and if she missed Rachel like Rachel missed her. It had been too long and Rachel found she couldn't wait even one more second.

"Quinn?" she turned to her right as she ignored the questioning looks of her friends as well as the silence that had taken over the table.

* * *

Quinn, for her part, seemed to be taken aback by Rachel's acknowledgment.

The blonde had assumed things would be awkward between them all day without resolution. She had no idea how to address the fact that Rachel was now in her life again and so she had decided not to change anything. Quinn figured that treating Rachel with neutrality was her best option; not too friendly, but not cold in demeanor.

"Umm," the blonde had to clear her throat as she had been sipping her latte. "Yes?" she asked as she lacked any articulation at this point.

"Can we speak somewhere private for a moment?" the brunette asked.

In response, Quinn nodded numbly before quickly glancing at Jenna with an examining eye. Quinn had no idea how much Jenna knew of their past, so she wondered how Jenna felt about this. Oddly enough to Quinn, Jenna gave Rachel a supportive smile before returning to her conversation with the rest of the table.

* * *

Rachel waited for Quinn to get up and start walking before she followed suit.

"We'll just be outside," Rachel told the group at the table. She didn't want to stay in the shop where they could watch the conversation; Madison and Santana were already giving her weird looks as it was. Brittany was kind of zoned out, most likely bored by Jenna's description of her job. The tall blonde was instead amusing herself by fiddling with Santana's scarf.

Quinn, having clearly heard Rachel's statement, veered towards the door of the shop and held it open for the brunette. Rachel paused when she was face to face with Quinn in order to smile and say, "Thanks."

Quinn just shrugged as she allowed the door to close by releasing her grip. "It's just a door." Hazel eyes searched for something, anything, to focus on that wasn't Rachel.

Rachel turned backwards to again face Quinn as she replied, "I wasn't just talking about the door."

Quinn parted her lips to respond but couldn't think of any words that wouldn't make her sound like an idiot, so she sufficed with running her hand through her hair.

"What do you want to talk about?" Quinn asked as she shadowed Rachel to a conveniently located bench. They didn't even have to skirt through people traffic as there were so few pedestrians in this area. Brittany had chosen a secluded coffee shop and the quiet was a nice change.

Quinn didn't know where she should aim her sight, so her gaze landed on a tiny blue bird. The bird was hopping along the perimeter of dirt surrounding the base of a tree, and Quinn imagined that the little guy was searching for food.

Watching Quinn watch the bird, Rachel fiddled with her hands. Why she didn't bring her coffee out with her in order to have something to hold, Rachel didn't understand. _Another mistake to be added to the list, _she thought.

"I'm not sure," the brunette admitted. The statement snapped Quinn into attention and she gave Rachel a crooked smile.

"The almighty Rachel Berry is speechless?" Her hazel eyes twinkled just so and Rachel swore her heart skipped a beat.

Lightly shoving Quinn's shoulder, Rachel mumbled a, "Shut up," under her breath as she blushed. At the show of old friendship, Quinn felt herself soften; and god had she missed that blush.

"God, I missed you," the blonde spoke before she could stop herself. It had just slipped out and she almost wished he could take it back. Almost, but not quite, because the way those passionate brown eyes lit up could never make Quinn regret anything. Quinn wanted to fall into those eyes and never escape.

"I missed you, too."

There were so many emotions running through Quinn's system that she had to physically swallow for fear of imploding from the sheer force of them. Everything happening right now was too much; she'd been cheated on, she ended her relationship, she became great friends with her ex, she'd encountered Rachel, and now, to top that all off, all of her old feelings were returning. Again.

"I never meant to see you again," the blonde said truthfully.

The look of yearning evaporated from Rachel's expression as it was replaced by hurt. "I don't understand."

"When I left I did so with the intention of never seeing you again," Quinn further explained.

"No, I understood that. Let me clarify: I meant that I don't understand _why_. I know I hurt you by not believing you - and I don't think you'll ever comprehend just how sorry I am - but I spent years rehashing the entire predicament and I've never come up with an answer." Rachel disconnected her gaze and looked over to the bird. "I know it was painful for you, but I couldn't understand why it warranted such a reaction. You just _left_, Quinn," she looked back at her friend with an expression so full of sadness that Quinn felt an impossible amount of guilt flood her senses. "I called. So many times I called. I tried visiting you but... you were gone. You dropped out of sight so well that I was afraid you had done something to yourself. I didn't even know if you were _alive,_ Quinn. I know the situation was complicated and unpleasant but I truly had no idea you would react so strongly. If I could take the moment back, I would, because in the last 24 hours alone I've felt more than I have in my entire life. And to be honest with you, I don't think I could handle you disappearing on me again, Quinn. So, to be redundant, what exactly was it that affected you so much as to rid your life of me? Whatever it was, I hope the last five years were enough to settle it because, god, I can't even _begin _verbalize just how much I've missed having you in my life."

Tangent ended, Quinn was left to stare at Rachel, half in awe over the fact that the brunette had managed that many words in so little time and half in shock.

Not for the first time that day, words escaped Quinn. At this point, she knew there was no avoiding having Rachel in her life; Santana, Brittany, Madison, and Jenna would make it impossible to do so. But what Rachel was saying meant that Quinn would have to see the other girl often; that they'd be friends again. Rachel hadn't specifically _said_, "Let's be friends again," but Quinn knew it would be inevitable if they spent any amount of time together. Once they had realized how compatible they were as friends, they had been inseparable. It's impossible to love someone as a best friend and yet treat them otherwise; unless said friend disappears out of the blue and never returns.

So, Quinn knew that by inviting Rachel into her life again she'd also be inviting the daily torture of knowing that the girl she had loved in college was _still_ happy with someone that wasn't her. And yet, Quinn agreed with the still-tiny brunette; she didn't think she could live with _not_ seeing Rachel again after today. It hurt to be around the girl, but it hurt _so damn good._

"Can we just keep the past behind us for now and start over?" Quinn asked. "I'd like to skip the deep stuff, if only for today."

"As friends?" Rachel clarified, and Quinn was almost positive that the brunette was drawing blueprints in her head of how exactly to prepare for the role of being her friend again.

"Yes, as friends," she agreed as she allowed the miserable thought of wishing to be more pass. "But don't give me a role, Rach," she used the old nickname. "I don't want either of us to have to worry about tiptoeing around what we say."

Blood rushed to Rachel's cheeks at having been read so easily; she clearly wasn't as great an actress as she thought. "I see you can still read me like a book," she acknowledged.

"Yea, well, some things never change, apparently. Like you being able to ramble ruthlessly. Did you even _breathe_during that whole schpeal?"

"Ha ha, Quinn Fabray. Yes, I did, thank you. I see your sense of humor hasn't changed much either," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I only change for the better, and since my sense of humor is perfect, there was no need to change it," Quinn's eyes twinkled playfully as she started to stand up. "We should head back— we don't want them to think we've been abducted."

"Yes, I am inclined to agree," Rachel conceded. The touch of disappointment in her tone was evident enough to Quinn and the blonde couldn't help but feel similar; she could have sat on that bench for the rest of her life if Rachel would only stay with her. There was one fact that Quinn refused to ignore, however, and that was that Rachel was with Jenna. Maybe Quinn also tried to pound the fact that Rachel would always be with someone else into her mind as well.

The two needn't have hassled themselves with ending their moment, sadly; the second after Quinn helped Rachel stand up, the rest of their makeshift group exited the shop.

"Hey, you two, did you kiss and make up yet? The last few months I've spent avoiding short stuff as a topic have been a bitch," Santana called out as everyone made their way over to each other.

Quinn rolled her eyes, but at least her confusion as to why Santana hadn't mentioned talking to Rachel was expelled. She had been legitimately puzzled by the fact that Rachel was still close to her two friends. The blonde silently thanked her Latina friend for knowing her well enough to avoid the subject without needing to be asked.

"Yea, it was really hard most of the time. Especially when San wanted to go to Rachel's musicals on nights Quinn hung out with us," Brittany added, causing the previously mentioned woman's face to flood in embarrassment as Quinn was filled with shame. Had she known about their continued connection with Rachel, she wouldn't have impeded.

"Aww, Satan _does_have a heart," Rachel smiled widely at the Latina.

"Hush now, small fry," came the beaten reply.

* * *

Jenna's curiosity about Rachel and Quinn's intricate past had grown shortly after the pair had gone to chat. Currently, that curiosity was becoming less and less intense. Jenna felt shorted that she knew so little of Rachel's history, but it only made her realize how little Rachel ever spoke of her past in general. While Jenna had long since felt that she knew her girlfriend pretty well, the past two days were making her reevaluate her assumption.

The blonde watched as Rachel and Quinn followed Brittany and Santana. The latter pair was leading the group in their daily activities while the remaining four paired off and kept a line. Honestly, it felt like second grade all over again.

Rachel and Quinn were talking animatedly, clearly enjoying conversing with each other. If Jenna didn't know better, she would guess that the two were dating. A sense of paranoia washed over her as she recalled what Rachel had told her; Rachel had upset Quinn in college by not believing her about something. Jenna had absolutely no idea what Rachel had chosen over Quinn. She couldn't spend too much time dwelling on this factoid of information, though, as Madison was trying to engage her in a wholly separate conversation.

"I was a really big fan of Levin and Rebecca," Jenna said in reply to the brunette's question. "So the ending, while the actual writing of it was amazing, sucked."

"I wholeheartedly agree," Madison replied deceptively. The reasoning behind the brunette's support of Levin and Rebecca was completely different than the blonde's. "Just wait till you see the movie version," Madison added cryptically.

"Why? Is it any different?" Jenna inquired.

"You can say that," the brunette baited. "Hey, so how are you and Rachel doing?"

* * *

Rachel had no idea how she made it through college without Quinn. In all reality, they'd been in the other's presence for maybe three hours total in the last two days, and yet, they were already engrossed in conversation. It seemed as though the two had reverted back to their old ways of sticking to the other's side as if glued. It would take the force of two tanks to detach them at the point, similar to two phone books with their pages interlinked.

The brunette listened to the blonde as she babbled on about how her book became a national best seller with a smile. Rachel felt terrible that she'd missed out on that; that she'd missed Quinn accomplishing a major goal in her life. The smile that must have lit up her face, the gleam in her eyes, the bounce in her step, and even the "yip" of cheer that must have escaped her lips; all of these, the smaller girl had missed. Thinking in retrospect, Rachel acknowledged the fact that she would most likely be feeling this way often. A lot had happened in five years and it would probably take at least half of that for Quinn to tell Rachel most of it, and vice versa.

Eventually - because no perfect moment can last forever - the duo's friendly topic shifted to a much less pleasurable one; their girlfriends.

Now, usually Rachel enjoyed speaking of Jenna. Her girlfriend was very caring, after all, and Rachel felt that Jenna was a good match for her. With Quinn, however, Rachel had wanted to avoid the subject as much as possible. She blamed the fear of the past being too much; of Quinn relating their present situation to what happened in college.

That was it.

"How long have you two been dating?" Quinn asked. Rachel was unable to catch the emotion that played out in those hazel eyes and she felt at loss because of it.

"We started dating sometime around seven to eight months ago," Rachel answered as she purposely left out the week long break they had had recently. There was no reason to tell her friend that she was going through some confusion—it might bring up topics that she would rather not discuss, such as what she did during the "break". Though she could have just lied about it if Quinn had asked, Rachel knew she would not be able to tell Quinn anything other than the truth.

"Oh, wow. So a long time, then, I guess." Quinn looked ahead and watched Brittany and Santana as they found numerous ways to touch each other without being vulgar about it. If Quinn had to call their movements by one word, it would be adorable. The way Santana's hand would find a way to caress Brittany in a completely non-sexual manner; it was a sight that was rare, and it meant that Santana was happy, comfortable, and completely content to just be in Brittany's presence. Quinn was happy for them, and delighted that she got to see this side of them. They had been together for such a long time and Quinn wondered if maybe she would have to deal with Rachel being like that with Jenna someday. The thought alone made Quinn's stomach flip in all the wrong ways.

"Yep, I would surmise so. I would ask you about Madison if that actor -Kevin? - hadn't already informed me of how you met each other." The judging look in Rachel's eyes made Quinn feel defensive.

"Rachel," she warned with a stern expression.

"What? You can't expect me to be completely okay with you dating someone who is... your employee!" Rachel waved her hands around when she found herself trying to describe Madison's position.

"She is _not_my employee, Rach. She happens to be an amazing actress, and I will not apologize for finding that particular quality attractive," Quinn bit back.

Realizing the territory she was encroaching on was not up for discussion, Rachel decided to listen for once.

"Will you tell me how you met?" she requested.

Quinn paused for a second, stopping in her tracks to look at Rachel. Madison and Jenna were far back enough that, by the time Quinn picked up her pace again, they were still a few feet behind. Rachel had looked back, instantaneously realizing that Quinn's presence was no longer at her side. Quinn's harsh gaze expressed her doubt as to whether or not Rachel was being sincere.

Using her eyes over her words, Rachel tried to communicate to Quinn that she was, indeed, being genuine.

Reading the expression well, Quinn nodded.

"It was kind of a cliché moment, actually. We were casting for Rebecca that day, and only Rebecca. I wanted the perfect actress; I refused to allow movie rights unless I got the final say on casting. Well, we were four hours in to auditions and I was practically dying. There were a few girls that _almost_ fit, but they were always missing something. Then, just when I was about to give up for the day, Madison stepped into the room and I just felt something click. I've only ever felt something similar once before, so I knew it meant something," Quinn began her tale and Rachel listened intently.

"She read off her lines perfectly, I swear. She reminded me so much of… Rebecca when she strutted in with this confidence that could not have been faked. And it wasn't, by the way; Madison is very self-assured and for good reason."

"Forgive me, but I'll have to judge for myself," Rachel half-joked. She found herself irked by the reverence in Quinn's tone. Quinn only smiled in response, no doubt in her mind that Rachel would be forced to agree once she saw Madison on camera.

"Continuing; we got to a point in the script where Madison was talking to me – I read for Levin's part – and she said…" Quinn trailed off.

"What? What did she say?" Rachel asked anxiously. She was very impatient at times, especially when she was somewhat interested in the story and a dramatic part came up.

The blonde shook her head, reprimanding herself for almost letting that piece of information slip.

"She said something completely out of script and, instead of looking ashamed to have forgotten the line, she gave me this look and I realized that she had said it on purpose. It was similar to something I had Rebecca say in the book, only she changed it in a way to make it, well, I can't even describe it to this day. After that, I told her to stop. I looked over at Charlie and said, 'Her'. Then I turned back to her and saw a piece of paper in her hand. The rest, as they say, is history."

"Don't end it there, tell me more!"

"Rach, there's not much more to tell. We had coffee, we discussed the book, and then we started a relationship together after a while." Quinn deliberately "forgot" to mention that she and Madison had hooked up right after their first coffee date; it wasn't her proudest moment. Though, it was up there as it wasn't every day that she found herself in bed with a stunning actress. Regardless, Quinn was _so_ not going to tell Rachel if she could prevent it. "Besides, I want to hear about you and Jenna."

Almost as if the space between them was palpable, Quinn felt Rachel partially withdraw herself from the conversation. Clearly, the brunette did not like where this conversation was headed, and it showed even more as she uneasily rolled her shoulders.

"She worked at a restaurant that I frequented." The succinctness of the story bothered Quinn, but before she could hassle her friend about it, Brittany's voice cut her off.

"We're here!" She announced excitedly.

They were outside of some shop, most likely expensive, and they all stared into the windows.

"Umm, Brittany, this is a store that strictly sells lingerie," Rachel pointed out.

"Well, duh," the tall blonde replied. Quinn basked in the irony of the situation as Rachel appeared dumbfounded and Brittany seemed superior in knowledge.

"Rachel was inquiring as to why we're here, Brittany. At least, I believe that was her intention," Madison helped out.

"Oh, well that's easy. We all like ladies so we're like the perfect group to help each other out. Plus, San promised to buy me another outfit after she ripped the last one," she explained as she opened the door of the store, completely unaware of the stunned faces she left in her wake.

When a semblance of sense returned to the group, Santana found herself the focal point of four pairs of fascinated eyes. They all plainly expressed the same thought; _Ripped, huh?_

"Take a picture," she snapped to hide her mortification as she followed Brittany. Usually she would have a snarky comeback, but she hadn't been at all prepared for Brittany to just blurt that out, even if it was true.

"This is going to be such an eventful day, I can already feel it," Madison quipped as she skipped into the store.

"I now understand what you meant by acquired tastes," Jenna told Rachel from her left.

"Well, best to get this over with quickly," Quinn advised as she ushered the couple in ahead of her.

"I guess so," Rachel agreed as she looked back at Quinn before Jenna wrapped her arm around her waist. The ache of longing that took over Rachel's chest disoriented her and she turned back to Jenna in an attempt to make the feeling go away.

* * *

"Why are you doing this?" Quinn gritted through her teeth once she found a way to corner Madison.

"Doing what?" the brunette widened her eyes in an attempt to play innocent. She was slightly turned towards her "girlfriend" as she pushed through the racks of skimpy clothing.

"Madison, don't mess with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about!" came the heated whisper in reply.

"Why, Quinn, all I know is that I'm totally going to buy some over-priced clothing – if it can even be called clothing – and then I'm going to wear it better than any mannequin in this entire building. I own the almost-naked look." As she finished her sentence, Madison pulled an item off the rack and held it up to herself.

"Madison! Put that away," Quinn blushed as she pushed a tan hand away.

"Why? Because someone might think I want to buy lingerie… in a lingerie shop? Crazy, Quinn. I think you're paranoid," the brunette rolled her eyes.

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!" the blonde huffed.

Snapping into a different persona, Madison eyed Quinn up with a leer.

"I think this one would look amazing on you, babe," Madison said in a suggestive tone of voice. She moved the article of clothing in her hand to Quinn's figure. "Though to be honest, it wouldn't really be on you long anyway," she added as she trailed her finger down Quinn's arm.

"W-what?" Quinn was discombobulated as well as slightly turned on, though she would never admit to the second part.

Moving closer, Madison pulled Quinn into her by her shirt. Once the smaller girl had successfully pulled Quinn in close enough to put her mouth by the blonde's ear, she whispered, "Rachel is one rack over and I can tell she's listening, so act like we're dating unless you want to blow our cover."

Quinn let chills tingle down her spine at the tickle of Madison's breath; she knew it would look as if Madison had said something dirty. As much as she was irritated at Madison for setting this all up, some small, childish part of her wanted to see if she could make that jealous look reappear in Rachel's eyes.

"I'd prefer it on you, though. Or, off you, I guess. I think we both agree off is better, anyway."

Madison, always the perfect actress, did not allow her lips to twitch at Quinn's reply. The brunette casually glanced to her left and faked shock at seeing another brunette just a few feet away.

"Rachel!" she greeted enthusiastically.

Like a deer in headlights, Rachel awkwardly walked over to the pair.

"Oh, hey, I didn't notice you there," she said.

_Right,_ Quinn thought, _and Santana works at a soup kitchen every Wednesday night._

"Where's Jenna?" the blonde queried.

Rachel rolled her eyes and turned to look behind her, gesturing with her head. "She appears to be talking to an employee of this establishment about recipes. She is seemingly a really big fan of Jenna's cooking."

Unlike Madison, Quinn couldn't control the twitch in her lips hastened by Rachel's peeved atmosphere.

"Are they discussing the best whipped cream to decorate deserts with?" Madison questioned as she sent Quinn a hungry look that caused the blonde's face to heat up.

* * *

Rachel wasn't sure if the weird feeling in her belly started when she saw Madison lean in towards Quinn and whisper something, causing the blonde to shudder, or if it was when the other brunette asked that damned question about whipped cream. Either way, upon the implication of covering Quinn in whipped cream - because that was most definitely the look that Madison had given the blonde – Rachel's mind was filled many new images, and she couldn't exactly say she didn't want them there.

In fact, Rachel only imagined what she would do if the whipped cream was vegan…

_Dear god, _the tiny girl thought, and she swore the blush on her face must be evident. Madison held a hanger in her hand, and Rachel remembered how she had felt her eyes widen at the site of Madison holding it up to Quinn earlier. The mere idea of Quinn – the girl who would always and forever be perfect in the brunette's eyes – wearing _that_ sent blood rushing to places that Rachel knew it shouldn't be gathering at.

Never in her life had Rachel been more thankful for Santana interrupting than when Madison had asked that loaded question.

"Hey sluts, pick out an outfit already. Don't ask, but Britt is really excited and if anyone changes that, just know that _I_ know how to hide bodies so that they're never found," Santana had demanded, grabbing Rachel's arm and half-dragging the diva to the dressing rooms.

"What do you think you're doing?" the smaller girl puffed as she took quicker steps to keep up with the Latina's fast pace.

"Britt already picked out an outfit for you," Santana answered.

"But—" Rachel started but was cut off by a sharp voice.

"No buts, Berry. Brittany gets what Brittany wants."

Rachel sighed in defeat—there was no way she would be able to say no to Brittany, even if the outfit was some ridiculous piece of cloth that hid nothing. This was probably the case, in all actuality.

_Yay for today, _she thought dolefully.

* * *

"Yo, blondie, Britts needs help in the dressing room. Go do something about that," brown eyes commanded.

"Umm, last time I checked _you _were dating Brittany, not me. Why don't you go help her?" Quinn was perplexed as this was usually the kind of thing her friend jumped at.

"She doesn't want me to see her until it's all set up, or something. She says it 'ruins the magic'. Who knows?" the exasperated tone of voice was convincing enough that Quinn fell for the lie.

"Which one?" the blonde resigned herself to the task.

"This one," Santana guided Quinn by pushing her forwards, almost causing her to crash into the dressing room door.

"Thanks a lot," Quinn mumbled under her breath as she knocked on the door.

"Oh, finally. Brittany, I know you really wanted me to wear this, but really I—Quinn!" an incredulous Rachel squeaked upon opening the dressing room door to invite a different blonde in.

The first thing on Quinn's mind was, "_Oops, wrong room." _After that thought had passed, she realized that there was no way in hell that Santana had accidently pushed Quinn into the wrong place. The only viable option for this situation was that Santana had purposely forced Quinn into Rachel's dressing room, which meant that Santana wished for Quinn to see her old friend half-naked.

That brought Quinn to her third thought, which was, _Oh my god, Rachel berry is half-naked in front of me right now._

Starting from bottom and all the way to the highest point on her head, Rachel was the single most enticing sight Quinn had ever seen. Rachel's toenails were painted a light pink that complimented her skin tone perfectly; Quinn imagined sitting on a couch with her, rubbing her feet after the tiny girl had had a long day of work. A pale yellow star tattoo adorned the side of her foot, and Quinn wished she had been sitting next to Rachel the day she had gotten it. An infinitesimal moon shaped scar ornamented impossibly long legs right below the knee cap and the blonde was left to imagine what she would have done to prevent Rachel from being hurt the moment it happened.

Perfectly toned thighs led the way to the red silk that was only just concealing the most secret part of the diva, and Quinn wanted nothing more than to slowly remove the hindrance and possibly take Rachel against the wall. Fortunately, a flat stomach was not hidden in the least and Quinn swore she could feel that soft, luscious skin beneath her lips. Almost to the point of bursting, Quinn felt all of the moisture in her body pool to one explicit location when her gaze landed on two perfectly rounded breasts gathered into the most flawless piece of red silk that Quinn had ever seen. Quinn tore her eyes away from the incredible sight only to cherish the unmarred collarbone that stuck out as it begged to be kissed. Leading her gaze upwards past a clearly neglected neck, Quinn locked her focus on plump lips and wondered what they would look like if they were kiss-swollen. Crawling past an adorable nose that she would give anything to be able to peck in the morning, Quinn finally made contact with Rachel's own gaze.

Rachel's eyes were wide with surprise, and yet her pupils were marginally dilated and filled with enough depth that Quinn felt certain that she wasn't the only one turned on in that moment. A spell had come over the two and Rachel could only stare at Quinn as Quinn took in every single inch of Rachel's body.

Recognizing the fact that she was blatantly ogling her friend, Quinn cleared her throat and shifted her eyesight to Rachel's forehead; it was the only safe place at this point. _If I could hold her at night, I would plant my lips right there and…_

"I'm sorry! SANTANA!" Quinn quickly turned around and closed the door behind her.

* * *

Rachel's heart was beating faster than anything she had ever encountered and she wasn't quite sure if she was going to have a heart attack or not. Quinn had entered and left just as quickly, but not before her eyes roamed over every component of her body. The brunette had no idea how to take the notion that Quinn had not only checked her out, but she had clearly delighted in the site of Rachel almost naked if her blown pupils were anything to go by.

The diva wondered what else might have blown if the situation had been different, but for the life of her Rachel could not get the image of Quinn jumping her in the stall out of her head. Just the idea of biting Quinn's shoulder to suppress her own moans in the public area sent emissions of heat to her core.

Needless to say, Rachel was going to have to buy this outfit now, whether or not she wanted it. It was probably dry clean only, after all.

* * *

"You, Santana _freaking_ Lopez, are the worst friend _ever!_" Quinn screeched as she shoved the Latina backwards. "That was the… I can't even… the lowest thing you've ever resorted to! You _know_ the situation! Why did you have to do that to me?"

Slapping her hand over the crazed blonde's mouth, Santana forced Quinn into a different stall that was far away from Rachel's.

"Whoa, Quinn, first off you need to chill the fuck out. Just because you're as horny as the high school version of Puck, that doesn't mean you get to rant and shout crazy shit for everyone to hear," Santana ticked off. "Second, that was a favor for you because now you can build a better picture for your fantasies. Don't pretend you didn't enjoy the visual, because I got a peek of it and I know how hot Berry looked just now. Brittany agrees. Third, you were collateral damage; sorry. It was more so a test for Rachel than an attempt to fluster you, though fluster you it did. Seriously, you look like a 16-year-old boy with blue balls right now. Reign in your hormones," the Latina expounded. "And now I'm done talking because I'm not the midge and I hate speaking in paragraphs."

"W-what do you mean a test for Rachel?" the blonde managed.

Santana rolled her eyes. "I never lost contact with Rachel since high school and we have always talked at least once a month. I know for fact that Rachel isn't into her relationship as much as Jenna is. It sucks to be her, but Jenna has to know—it's not like Rachel hides it very well. She's sweet and all that kind of stuff, but Jenna just met me and Britts for the first time today. Imagine how little she knows of Rachel's past. She hadn't even heard of you! Quinn. This is happening, one way or another," she said, her voice full of determination.

"What 'is happening'?" Quinn made an agitated face, her eyebrows coming together.

"You and Rachel, you idiot. God, sometimes I wonder why Yale accepted you."

Quinn felt a sense of accomplishment when she succeeded in blinking in response; that was the most she could ask for right now.

* * *

**The rest of their day will be next chapter. I meant for the entire day to be in this chapter, but it is just so hard to write sometimes. **

**The reviews some of you have left made me feel… so great. Seriously. ****I take the criticism well; it's constructive. So thank you for taking your time to voice your opinion. **

**I completely understand what you all mean by the story "picking up". You're not reading this for Madison and Jenna, trust me, I know. But I promise you from now on that almost all chapters will involve Faberry in some way, shape, or form. :) It will indeed "pick up," though I like to think it already has.**

**God I can't wait. I'm just as excited as you are. It's like I'm screaming "update soon please!" only I realize that I've written it… so it's ME who needs to update. Awwwwwkkkkwaarddd. **

**Thanks for reading, thanks for following, thanks for favoriting, and most importantly, thanks for reviewing. This literally means the world to me. Though, I must argue my own point; reading is the most important aspect for you, otherwise... **


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow, I feel bad for the length of time that has passed. Let me just say that I was supposed to go on a relaxing camping trip and it turned for the worse. I now have two swollen spider bites, my pillow smells like dirt water, and my lymph nodes are in rebellion. **

**I'm either going to die or turn into Spider-Crystal. (The latter would be great).**

**Without further ado, here's the shorter-than-I-originally-intended chapter I've deprived you of.**

* * *

"Are you a vegan like Rachel?" a tall blonde questioned Jenna.

"No, Brittany, I'm not. While most of what I eat _is_ vegan-friendly, I enjoy meat every now and then. Why?" Jenna wondered where the question had come from in the first place – they had not previously been speaking of food or of Rachel.

"Is Rachel still a vegan even if she gives you sweet lady kisses after you've eaten non-vegan stuff?" Brittany asked anew, no answer to Jenna's own question.

Whether from the bizarreness of the query or the odd timing, Jenna found herself strangely unaware of how she should respond. Then again, she was beginning to realize that Brittany often said things that were complicated or twisted with multiple meanings. Rachel had warned her of Brittany's devious ways; "Double meanings are hidden behind even the most outlandish of her questions," the brunette had warned.

Rachel herself was uncertain as to whether or not Brittany did it on purpose, but she had identified the trait in her blonde friend no less.

Searching for outside help, Jenna turned her gaze to her right and gave Madison a pleading look. Madison's eyes widened and she shook her head the slightest bit before distracting herself with the clothes on the nearest rack.

_Damnit, _Jenna mentally cursed. Madison clearly knew better than to engage in mental warfare with Brittany.

"San always says that if someone won't answer a question, then they lose. I'm not sure what you lost, but San says I usually win, so it's okay," the blue-eyed girl gently patted Jenna on the head as if she were a child. "But I think that if you eat food that Rachel can't then you shouldn't kiss her anymore," she finished.

Before she could combat what Brittany had just said, the next part had Jenna dropping her jaw so low that the expression could only be described as absurd.

"Being a vegan is very important to her, after all."

If it wasn't for the solemn look that Brittany gave Jenna, the shorter blonde would've thought it was a joke.

* * *

"Yo, small fry, you gonna come out anytime soon?" Santana shot through the dressing room door that Quinn had opened only moments ago to find a half-naked Rachel. "Not that you haven't already, ya big lesbian."

Now fully clothed, the girl in question yanked the door open and glared at her friend. "Maybe if you had not sent Quinn to the wrong room I would not have needed ten minutes to reassemble my thoughts. Alas, you did and so I needed time to recuperate from my old best friend seeing me in _this_," Rachel emphasized the word by holding up a fist covered in the scanty red cloth. "Also, I am not a lesbian."

Santana smirked throughout the whole rant. "That's what I said in high school and look at me now," the Latina replied rather smugly. "And who says 'Alas'?"

Rachel just rolled her eyes and poked the other girl in the chest before continuing her previous accusation.

"Why did you do that anyway? I know that you knew what room I was in, and if Quinn shouting your name immediately upon closing the door was any tell, I _know _you are responsible for what just happened. Talk about embarrassing. Also, you're paying for this," she shoved the small pieces of clothing into Santana's arms.

"What, Quinn's drool give you a reason to buy them, shorty?"

Rachel could only blush as she recalled the way Quinn reacted. God damn, the blonde was causing her to blush more often than she would prefer.

"Santana! To accuse me of finding another woman's leer as a… turn on… is preposterous! I am in a relationship with Jenna. Whatever you are implying is ludicrous. Quinn left the moment she realized that she was in the wrong stall. She, unlike _some_ people I choose to associate myself with," Rachel pointedly glared, "has manners." Rachel refused to acknowledge the fact that she was very defensive of her actions, but Santana didn't.

Scoffing, she quipped, "If salivating counts as manners, then yea, she showed her manners quite well. I'm sure she left some of her _manners_ of the carpet, too. Whoever cleans the place will be oh so happy Quinn has these _manners._"

Rachel opened her mouth to bite back, but the Latina continued, "Also, if Quinn's moon eyes aren't the reason you're buying this," she gestured to the lingerie, "then what is?"

Rachel seemed to shrink in on herself and her skin flushed a deep, deep shade of red.

"_Rachel?" _Santana looked at her friend closely as she mumbled incoherently. "What was that? I couldn't hear you from up here."

"I liked how it looked, and it wasn't uncomfortable," the smaller girl restated, refusing to comment on the height joke.

_The look Quinn gave me wasn't uncomfortable, either, _the thought forced its way into her mind.

"Plus, _I'm_ not buying it, _you_ are, remember?"

"Whatever you say, mentirosa."

* * *

Eventually the group reformed and everyone could be found by the cash registers. Jenna sent over a questioning look when she saw Santana thrust a bag at Rachel with a devilish grin on her face, but Rachel just shook her head. Jenna was confused by this but decided to let it drop; Rachel would probably just explain later.

"So, how was talking to the sales woman?" Rachel asked, finding the subject more appropriate to discuss.

"The conversation didn't last long, actually. Brittany pulled me away before I had a chance to really tell her anything," Jenna made a face at that, instantly peeking Rachel's curiosity.

"Why did Brittany require your attention?" The group began their walk out of the store and was currently following said blonde to wherever they were all supposed to go next. Rachel hoped their "Day of Fun" was almost over, because time was passing quickly and she had to make it in time for her show.

"It was the weirdest thing, actually. You know how you told me to beware her questions?"

Rachel nodded. "They're laced with more than you think."

"Yea, I understand that now. She asked me if I was a vegan because if I wasn't she said I shouldn't kiss you anymore."

"Well, being a vegan is important to me," the brunette joked. A subconscious part of her couldn't help but grasp at the opportunity; something was off and Rachel hadn't felt any urge to touch Jenna in any way. She had even evaded a kiss goodbye that morning.

"That is exactly what Brittany said."

* * *

Before Rachel was able to respond, Madison asked aloud, "Where are we off to next, oh fair one?"

Brittany beamed at the nickname, causing Santana to pull her closer. "Ice cream!"

Rachel inwardly groaned. It wasn't that she didn't like ice cream – really, who hates ice cream? Lame people, that's who – it was that she highly doubted that any place Brittany picked would serve vegan ice cream.

It was unexpected, but just as Rachel was about to voice her concern, a different voice interrupted. "Do you have a place in mind already, Britt? We need a place that serves vegan ice cream."

_Quinn_.

Rachel would have expected _Jenna_ to say something, but not Quinn. She also didn't expect Quinn to turn around and give her a light smile; a smile that Rachel no doubt returned almost immediately.

"Don't worry, Rach," Brittany turned around. "San took me there once and told me it was fine."

Rachel sent a silent question to Santana, who nodded. To say that she didn't trust Brittany would be wrong; she merely worried that Brittany may have confused vegan for vegetarian again. "Again" being the operative word.

* * *

"I have the most appropriately-timed joke ever," Santana blurted after everyone had received their orders.

Everyone except Brittany looked doubtful, causing the Latina to smile all the more.

"'Santana Lopez' and 'appropriate' only go together when there is an 'is not' in-between," Quinn verbalized for the entire group.

Rachel nodded, "I have to second that opinion." The diva noticed a slight twitch in the lips of her friend, as well as a flash in her hazel eyes.

"Third." Madison.

"Fourth and I barely know you," Jenna interjected.

"Whatever. C_hupamela_, bitches," the Latina replied. "Anyway: there are three women at an ice cream shop, right? One is licking her ice cream, another is biting it, and the third is sucking it. Which one is married?"

"And you wonder why we all doubted you," Rachel teases sarcastically. "How am I supposed to eat my ice cream now that I have disgusting images running around my mind?"

"Says the 'I am not a lesbian.'" Santana retorted.

"Well, sure as hell not the one biting it," Jenna said as she scooped up some of her own ice cream into her spoon. Rachel widened her eyes at her girlfriend's blunt words. "What? Would you want to marry a biter?" Rachel pursed her lips but said nothing.

"Biting is fun, though!" Brittany exclaimed. "Right, San?"

"B, not the fun kind of biting," Santana soothed.

"Oh."

"Well, I would think it depends on whether she's married to a man or a woman. Though, to be honest, I'm just gonna go with the obvious and say the sucker," Madison gave the idea some thought. If it was another woman, she could see licking coming up as a close runner, but she realized that sucking worked for both man and woman and therefore went with that.

Rachel had just paled as she was blown away by the openness of her company. She looked over at Quinn to see how her friend was reacting and she was surprised to see a thoughtful expression clouding the blonde's features.

Brittany practically yips, "The licker _and_ the sucker, then, right?"

Santana sees the flaw in her plan, as now she has to let her wife down easy. "Q and Berry still have to guess before I can tell you."

Brittany pouted but turned her attention on her two friends. "Guess!"

Rachel let out a breath that blew her side bangs up slightly before saying, "The one sucking her ice cream," in a resigned tone of voice.

"Q?" Brittany questions.

"I'm going to go with the biter," Quinn answers as she turns her spoon upside down and sucks the rest of the ice cream into her mouth. Not that Rachel was staring long enough to notice, or anything, because it definitely wasn't something she found extremely sexy. Or anything.

All eyes turn towards hazel.

"What? That way if you're all wrong, I'm right." Her spoon spun in a circle to accentuate her point. "Plus, it's obviously a trick question, anyway. I just don't know the answer," she defends herself. It's not like she thinks biting _down there _is a turn on. The thought alone makes her feel like a guy that just witnessed another guy getting kicked in the balls.

"Just admit you like to bite, babe," Madison winked, and Rachel felt her back stiffen before she narrowed her eyes at the actress.

"Told you they were fun bites," Brittany whispered to her wife.

"Well, you're all wrong. It's the one with the wedding ring on her finger," Santana stabbed her ice cream with her spoon, an arrogant smirk adorning her lips. "But I like the way you think."

* * *

"_I have to second that opinion."_

From the moment Brittany mentioned ice cream, Quinn had thought of Rachel. Okay, that's kind of a lie; Quinn had been thinking of Rachel for over the past 24 hours, but particularly since she walked in on her in the lingerie shop. Back to the point, however, Quinn had without delay understood that Brittany had not likely recalled Rachel's inability to eat regular ice cream.

When she had double-checked, she was careful to give Rachel a light smile. Her concern had slipped out before she could stop it and she hoped that Rachel would fall for the act of a reassuring smile. In reality, she had asked Brittany the question because she was already treating Rachel like a number one priority and she couldn't have Rachel knowing that. The return smile Rachel had given Quinn was enough to make her heart beat just a little faster and she hated that she loved it.

Quinn had no clue what was going on. Santana had made her intentions clear—she wanted Quinn to be with Rachel.

_If only it were that easy._

It was as if Quinn was living in a dream world; Rachel was in her life and was showing signs that she was interested in her. And yet, Rachel was with Jenna; Quinn was a lot of things, but she was no home wrecker. No, Quinn was not in a dream world; she was in a nightmare.

Once they had all found a seat to sit in and Santana was clearly about to tell a dirty joke, Quinn had commented only for Rachel to say those six words that really didn't mean much, though they meant everything to Quinn. The words meant _I'm with Quinn on this one. _Quinn could imagine the brunette saying those exact words in that sing song voice she loved so much and, even though what Rachel _had _said didn't carry the weight that Quinn actually wished it had, she could only allow the words to paint the visual of them together in her mind.

Once Santana had finally asked that damned question, the blonde had taken it as she would a riddle. Analyzing, she deduced that none of the answer were right, but she figured she might as well have fun with her answer, so she declared the biter as the married woman.

She had seen Rachel eyeing her, but she hadn't understood the exact reason as to why. Slowly, she extricated he spoon from her mouth, but not before giving it an extra tug with her tongue because Rachel was watching with a gleam in her eye. While Quinn still had no idea what was going on between Rachel and herself, she did know that there was _something; _if the way Rachel was practically glowering at Madison for her biting comment was any hint.

The ex-cheerio found that she was at a loss at what to do with this information, though.

Rachel wasn't single, Jenna was a great person, and Quinn seriously wasn't ready to handle the current situation she found herself in.

Santana gave Quinn a knowing look when she said those last words.

"But I like the way you think."

* * *

**I think I said the whole day would be in this update, but I'm so wiped. I almost fell asleep 2 hours ago, so I apologize if this chapter is a big ole disappointment and/or choppy. Next update by Friday.**

**Little Johnny Jokes, ftw.**

**Sometimes my schedule clashes with my Beta's.**

**I love, love, love what you guys say in your reviews. I'm gonna go re-read them now to motivate myself. They're so thoughtful sometimes and it's like, "Wow. Thank you... so much."**


	18. Chapter 18

**I have not turned into a spider, yet. However, thank you for your concern on whether I live or die (even though we all know it's probably just cuz you want to know how the story ends, lol). (:**

**Yay for updates, am I right? Yay for reviews, too :D**

* * *

"You okay, Rach?" came the quiet question. The solemn look on the girl's face had alerted Jenna to the fact that Rachel was preoccupied. Quinn had noticed, too, but she was too busy contemplating on whether or not to ask about itto actually ask about it.

Rachel's mind was a jumbled mess of overly obnoxious long phrased vocabulary that not even she knew she knew. Words with more letters than were in the alphabet were flocking her brain like bees swarming sugary drinks in the summer and the brunette was almost positive that her body was doing it on purpose. She figured it was most likely punishment— for what she didn't know.

She could guess, but she couldn't be sure.

It was possible that it was for that one time someone gave her a smoothie and, after she had a sip, told her that it wasn't vegan. The resulting spray of pink liquid had found itself a home on an innocent bystander's jacket and Rachel felt extremely guilty for both acts; she had gone to temple to pray away her blunders and ask those poor animal souls for forgiveness. Maybe the world was punishing her for being a bad vegan.

Yea, that was it.

Rachel rolled her eyes at _herself_ for being as obtuse as she was being. Her mind was in disarray for one reason, and one reason only; Rachel Berry could not control her emotions. Quinn had been out of her life for years – _years _– and, apparently, she was already taking over every possible thought that Rachel could muster.

The brunette's year could be easily listed in 9 extreme events:

1. Rachel decided to take a break from Broadway.

2. She met Jenna.

3. Jenna had casually asked if Rachel ever wanted to get married.

4. The diva had pulled, well, a diva move and panicked.

5. Rachel asked for a break after 7 months of being with Jenna.

6. She went a little crazy during that week break…

7. She got back together with Jenna after the blonde promised to abide by new rules.

8. Rachel saw Quinn again.

9. Rachel's newfound control over her life shattered.

Some things about Rachel would never change—the girl hated hurting people. Physically, emotionally, ideally, Rachel could not consciously hurt a living creature. In high school she had been selfish and may have done a few things that hurt another, particularly Quinn. However, after maturing a bit, Rachel had really tried to avoid repetition of her adolescent antics. Then in college she had gone and blown her plan by obliterating the friendship she had obtained with her recent best friend. After Quinn left her, Rachel had found it hard to make more friends; she didn't want to put herself out there just to disappoint anyone else.

The rest of her freshman year and the whole of her sophomore year were spent solely focusing on school and work. Initially, the brunette hadn't planned on getting a job right off the bat. Rachel had envisioned acquainting herself with the city during her first year, making friends, having _fun. _That is exactly how she had spent her time at first, in fact. Then, the whole Avery versus Quinn debacle had come about and Rachel had made the wrong choice.

Without either woman in her life, Rachel had felt abandoned. She couldn't blame Quinn, however; she doubted that she felt even half of what her blonde friend had felt. Having had years to scrutinize her actions, Rachel had been genuine when she had asked Quinn why she had been so upset. Quinn clearly felt that the discussion could wait, and _would _wait, until a later time.

Back when everything happened though, Rachel had felt forsaken. Everyone important in her life had left her except for her dads, and they were all the way back in Lima. Lima held nothing for Rachel except the memories of high school, of Glee club, of Quinn.

Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, and even second after second Rachel would sit in class or in her dorm room and be consumed by thoughts of her ex-best friend who had easily discarded her after one conversation. There had to be more to it. That was the conclusion Rachel had drawn and ever since Quinn had disappeared. Rachel only wanted to identify what it was that drove Quinn to the point where she had to pull out of the brunette's life without pause.

Constantly reflecting on every decision she had made with Quinn had started to make Rachel insane—she would mumble to herself and things only escalated when she wouldn't be able to sleep at night and thus walked around looking like a zombie. That was when the diva applied for a job and started within a few days—she had reached a new low and only work would be able to distract her.

In a way, Quinn leaving Rachel had actually helped the singer further her career; she was focused on achieving everything and she put all of her effort into everything she did because if she didn't she'd be left with enough energy to wonder about the blonde that she kept trying to forget. Rachel worked whenever she was free and by the end of each shift she would collapse onto her bed and pass out immediately.

After a while, Quinn entered her thoughts less and less. While still an incessant part of Rachel's life, the blonde abandoning her became less of an ache and more of a vague memory. The true anguish of losing her friend hit Rachel the moment after she'd gotten her first part in a Broadway musical. Once off the phone with the casting director, Rachel had gone to her contacts to call Quinn only to realize her mistake.

The future Broadway star found herself breaking down on the spot and cried herself to sleep that night. She couldn't even celebrate the news. Instead, she called her dads the next day and plastered on a smile until the memory had all but faded.

Opening day of the musical had finally taught Rachel the meaning of the word bittersweet; upon receiving a rounding ovation, the star couldn't help but squint into the crowd in hopes of seeing a certain blonde head. There had been numerous blonde heads and Rachel knew her efforts were in vain.

Eventually, one day, Rachel had met Jenna and something about the other woman took away the ever-present hollowness that stowed itself away in her heart. If only for a little while.

The moment Jenna had mentioned marriage – she hadn't _offered_ it, she had only asked if Rachel would consider it an option in the future – she flipped. It wasn't Jenna's fault; quite contrary, all the blame was on Rachel. Jenna was great, and Rachel adored her. Yet, the moment that the idea of spending the _rest of her life _with her girlfriend emerged, Rachel had felt that urge again. The impulse to turn to her side and request advice from her best friend could not be counteracted.

In the end, Rachel was forced to draw one conclusion—she could not envision a life without Quinn because those cursed hazel eyes had foraged a path into Rachel's heart. When asked about marriage, it wasn't the idea of spending the rest of her life with Jenna that troubled the Broadway star.

It was the idea of _not_ spending the rest of her life with Quinn by her side.

"_Don't think too heavily into this, Rach, but what do you think about marriage?"_

One would imagine that Rachel would have pictured growing old with her girlfriend – who would be her wife then – and one would be wrong. Rachel instead imagined lying in bed every night and just holding that one special person before falling asleep knowing that she was loved. She knew deep down that she had only felt that feeling with one person, regardless of the fact that she had had her fair share of partners.

That person was and would always be Quinn.

A deceptive thought slipped past Rachel's defensive barriers. _You love her._

"I'm just fine," Rachel responded to her girlfriend's question with a fake smile. Jenna stared for a second before accepting the statement.

From her seat at the table, Quinn tore her gaze away from Rachel. The pained expression in those telling eyes left no room for doubt; something was going on with the girl and Jenna was oblivious as to whatever it was.

Because any further questioning of the blonde would seem weird, Quinn tried to retract her damn near obsession with focusing on her friend. Turning to Brittany, she asked, "So, what's next?"

* * *

"I would've never guessed that you would take us to a park," Madison stated.

"B loves ducks," Santana explained as she took her wife's hand and led her to the pond.

Quinn couldn't suppress the small smile that decorated her face as she watched the two lovebirds walk off. Watching Santana and Brittany used to be a painful thing to witness—not because they were gay, but because her two best friends had found something that Quinn could not share in. She had always felt alone in high school; always felt that while she had friends, she didn't have any _friends_. Her paranoia only increased when Brittany and Santana had stopped spending time with her in order to spend more time with each other.

Sure, everyone thought they were just sex fiends that jumped each other whenever the opportunity arose, but Quinn knew better. Quinn knew that while the pair thoroughly enjoyed a spontaneous hot moment, they didn't actually have sex every day. Most of the time the pair went out to places and just people watched.

Brittany had once explained to Quinn while the shorter blonde was visiting Lima during a break, and at the time it had only made the writer feel worse.

"_San took me to the park today to watch the ducks. She says feeding them is bad, but that I could do it anyway. I didn't want to hurt them, though, so I just watched."_

"_Oh, so that's where you were earlier."_

"_Yea. We would've been back sooner but San wanted to watch the people like I watch the ducks. So we made up stories for each person. Some were sad, some were happy," Brittany paused. "She likes to pretend that we're still in high school because she misses you guys a lot."_

A forlorn feeling nestled its way into Quinn's chest and refused to leave. That stupid, hopeless look in those brown eyes had thrown her off and all she wanted to do was give the girl a hug or something mushy like that.

Why couldn't… _no._ Quinn could not allow herself to be set up for disaster. Not again.

Walking at a fast pace to catch up to her friends, Quinn grabbed Madison's hand and dragged her along. Quinn needed to call of whatever the trio had up their sleeves because if Rachel had that Happy Ever After with Jenna then so be it.

Quinn couldn't imagine being the cause of Rachel's misery, and that look in her eyes earlier only made the blonde feel sick to her stomach. She didn't know _why _Rachel had looked so unhappy, but the desire to rush to the brunette's side, rest her hand on her cheek and demand to know what was wrong overwhelmed her. Quinn could _not_ take it. She could not take _this, _this torture of unrequited love that made her feel like a stupid teenage girl in all those damn books that sold like no other.

Knowing that she had to distance herself from her friend, Quinn acknowledged the fact that she would hurt Rachel. The star would take the avoidance to heart and search for an answer that Quinn didn't want her to find out.

"This has to stop," she said, finality coating every word.

"We can't watch the ducks anymore?" Brittany's eyes widened as a heartbroken expression crossed her features.

"Leave Rachel and Jenna alone," Quinn said to Santana and Madison before either could interrupt. Stalking off, Quinn was too distressed to hear the light fall of footsteps behind her. Making her way to the water, Quinn sat down only a few feet away from where pond met grass. Picking up a small stone, she tossed it over and watched as it made a ripple effect.

"This reminds me of a song," a light voice chimed from behind her, "only I should hope that it wasn't your intention seeing as the song is about abuse."

"I need a moment, Rach." Her chin was resting on her knees which were pulled close to her chest. It was fortunate that she had worn shorts under the skirt of her dress and that the grass was dry; a white skirt and wet grass do not mix.

"You and me both," the singer agreed before plopping down right next to her friend.

Honestly, Quinn tried to smother the grin, but control of her facial expression evaded her.

"What?" Rachel asked suspiciously.

"I'm still just… baffled by the fact that you don't always speak in paragraphs anymore," she admitted.

"Yes, well, some things change for the better. Even if it's a few years late."

Disturbed by the words, Quinn turned her head and tilted it to the side. "For the better?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "No one liked hearing me say in fifty words what I could say in five, Quinn." The sound of her name coming from those lips sent chills down the blonde's spine.

"I found that trait endearing and you know it."

"Not in high school and obviously not enough to stay."

A silent pause in conversation took over as Quinn closed her eyes.

Rachel apologized, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Don't apologize, Rachel. We need to talk about it eventually. We will, I promise. Just… right now I can't. I need time to think."

Rachel nodded and Quinn turned back to the lake.

"I used to run around the track at Yale, you know. After… what happened, though, I just couldn't. It brought back too many memories. I started to run around the closest park after that, and I used to sit by the pond there, too. It was my halfway point; I'd get to the pond, sit down, think, then I'd get back up and run back to my dorm." Quinn wisely chose to leave the "and as I sat I'd cry to myself for about ten minutes" part out.

Rachel closed her eyes and pictured Quinn doing exactly as she'd described. Resting her head on the blonde's shoulder, like old times, she voiced, "I can see that."

Tensing at the initial contact, Quinn relaxed and placed her head lightly atop Rachel's.

"I can see you."

* * *

"Leave them alone? Leave them _alone?_ How-"

"Let's not blow this out of proportion," Madison interrupted Santana.

"You did _not _just interrupt me."

"San, I think Madison is right," Brittany said, causing any fight in Santana to simmer.

"Listen, I know you're not a fan of me and that this whole get-them-together thing is the only reason you're tolerating me – other than the fact that I am a spectacular friend to Quinn and make her happy – but I'm willing to sacrifice that if it will suffice Quinn. I'm definitely not giving up on this, though, because look at Rachel," Madison waved with her hand towards the other actress. Rachel was following Quinn as she headed to the shore of the pond.

"She was practically drooling when Quinn was licking her spoon, too. I mean, damn, munchkin could at least _try_ to hide it," Santana agreed.

"They're like me and you, S, when I was dating Artie."

Santana cringed at the memory. As much as Santana had wanted Brittany back, part of her was happy that Brittany was happy. God damn, if Quinn felt even _half_ of what Santana had felt back then, Santana felt instantly guilty for being the cause of it.

Then again, the two looked real cozy just then—Rachel's head rested on Quinn's shoulder and Quinn's head rested on Rachel's.

"Have they always been so close?" Jenna appeared beside Madison. She had made her way over since Rachel had rushed to Quinn's side.

"It's a long, complicated past that I'm not sure you want to delve into," Madison warned.

"Even me and Britts don't know the whole story," Santana wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist and tugged her closer.

Jenna looked over to her girlfriend again and her stomach dropped. She couldn't recall the last time she and Rachel had just cuddled or held each other, and yet there Rachel was, comfortably relaxing against a friend she hadn't seen in ages.

"I see."

* * *

**Between work and working out, I have no time to have a life, let alone to write. **

**Note that whenever I give you guys a day, I basically mean sometime past midnight on that day, thus making it the morning AFTER that given day.**

**Sorry, but that's just how I roll. I procrastinate and finish around 1am. My beta loves me :) **

**To indicate that I really do appreciate your reviews (I don't send personal messages because that involves effort on my part xD) I'll respond to them now:**

**woahchristina: wow. just.. thank you. You sure know how to flatter an author.**

**nicole (guest name): hah, here's some of that faberry lovin for ya.**

**abnab: lol, why thank you :D**

**Valerii: giiiiiiiiiiiiiirl (I'm assuming you're a girl. If not, boooooooooooy) tell me imagining Quinn eating ice cream doesn't do things to you? *swoon***

**girltogirl: You're telling me. Try being the person writing it and _wanting _to write about how Quinn just strips Rachel in public and has her way with her. Yea. I'm frustrated too D;**

**Skrillex: lol, yes, spider bites are unpleasant. And itchy. I'm glad you liked the chapter ^_^ My favorite part aboutthat chapter was Brittany's talk with Jenna, so yay for you liking it!**

**Guest and anon: That joke... I've heard it many a time, but yes, it's still good.**

**Iza.G: Yes, Santana _is _great :D**

**myshipsank: I getcha :) here's that update!**

**SuperNina: ...**

**YOU JUST MADE MY DAY. Seriously. I have read your comment over 5 times already and I've laughed each time. Too good, too good. Give me a few more chapters to get your hormones balanced out xD lmao... though I am inclined to agree with your idea...**


	19. Chapter 19

**Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN.**

**I don't own Batman, nor is he relevant to this chapter… :)**

**Oh, and… Jenna.**

* * *

"Can we just pause this moment in time so that it never ends?" Rachel asked softly. Quinn guessed that she meant the view, the water, spending time with friends, and _maybe_ being friends that were comfortable with each other again. What the blonde had failed to notice was that Rachel's eyes were closed and that the brunette was breathing in the comforting aroma of vanilla that seemed to permeate off of her.

It felt like only a few minutes had passed since Rachel had followed her over to the pond and Quinn had absorbed every moment. In her mind they were going for a stroll in the park, as a couple, and had rested for a moment to take in the view; to stop and smell the roses. She imagined having packed some food for a spontaneous picnic to surprise Rachel with. She imagined the beaming smile Rachel would send her way in return and being able to just hold the girl and lay down knowing that no matter what happened in her life, she'd always have Rachel.

Regrettably, Quinn did not have the power to make her thoughts into reality; Rachel was still her friend that was in a relationship with someone that wasn't her. They were sitting by the water for a moment of silence, of relaxation. They were not, and would never be, a couple.

"I don't think so." The blonde did not appreciate the betrayal of her body when her voice was rough from the inner turmoil she faced. She lifted her head and closed her eyes while she turned away from her friend. Removing her hands from around her knees, she placed them beside her hips and leaned back.

Rachel adjusted her position so that her head no longer rested on Quinn's shoulder in order to stare at the woman. "Why not?"

Quinn remained unable to tell if Rachel was asking what she _really _thought she was asking, but she inwardly scoffed at herself—of course Rachel wasn't asking _that. That _was just wishful thinking on the blonde's part, surely.

"Life isn't that easy, Rach," she responded.

"Quinn," Rachel brought her right hand to a pale wrist. "Did I say something wrong?"

Refusing to meet the soft brown of her eyes, Quinn focused her gaze to where Rachel's fingers had wrapped themselves around her wrist. She really hoped that the brunette wouldn't move her fingers even slightly downward because, if she did, she would be able to pick up on her pulse, and her heart was beating quite erratically. The heat she felt from the touch itself was causing the beating muscle to palpitate and the blonde actually worried for her health for a moment.

Once over the extreme reaction her body was having, she felt an itch inside; a will to take a picture of this moment so that she would never forget it. The small, tan hand wrapped around her paler wrist sent shards of emotion into her heart, piercing it just as well as any knife could have done.

"No, of course not," Quinn tried her best to keep her gaze on their connection but failed miserably when she found herself looking up into those damn wells that were Rachel's eyes. "I just…"

"Hey, Rachel, we have to leave for your show soon," a voice interrupted. Quinn wasn't sure whether she was irritated or thankful, but she decided on thankful because she couldn't be sure of what she was about to say. She could've said, "don't know what to say around you," or, "am completely, hopelessly in love with you," or maybe even, "wrote that whole damn book about you and the day it finishes being filmed, you return into my life and now the ending is even more tragic than before."

Speaking of, Quinn wondered if Rachel had figured out that the book was indeed about her. She seemed rather put off by the ending and upset that Levin and Rebecca didn't end up together. Well, Quinn didn't end up with Rachel, so Quinn figured that her friend remained ignorant. And for that, she was thankful.

* * *

"I just…" Rachel felt her chest tighten as she waited for Quinn to finish her sentence. _You just…?_

"Hey, Rachel, we have to leave for your show soon," Jenna called from behind the pair.

Never in her life had Rachel felt so dejected than when she spotted the look of gratitude in hazel eyes after the interruption. What had Quinn been about to admit that would be something she didn't appear to want to say and yet needed to say it at the same time?

Flustered and a bit irritated with her girlfriend, Rachel turned away from Quinn and looked at the form behind her.

"Yes, I am aware. Are we leaving _now_?" So maybe the snappiness in her voice was unnecessary, but Rachel hadn't really tried to rein it in. She wished for Jenna to understand that she was displeased by her presence.

_Wait, what? I'm not _displeased_ that she… It was just that she intruded on our moment! Our…? _Rachel really needed to get her thoughts under control. Her restraint was slipping and the confused - and somewhat hurt - expression on Jenna's face made the diva feel an instant wave of guilt.

"Yea, that was why I came to tell you," the blonde deflated - noticing Rachel's grip on a wrist that wasn't hers - before turning around to walk back to the trio by the bench. Feeling ashamed, Rachel rushed to stand on her feet in order to catch up to Jenna.

* * *

Quinn watched the scenario play out and blinked owl-like in response. She wasn't sure what idea shocked her more— the fact that Rachel had smartly answered Jenna or the fact that they were leaving so early. The writer surmised that they had arrived no more than ten minutes ago. Checking her watch, Quinn felt her eyes widen with shock. Okay, so maybe they had arrived thirty minutes ago.

* * *

The walk out of the park was awkward but it was less awkward than the cab drive to Rachel's show. The six-person group split up into two groups of three that no one, excluding Madison and Santana, had expected. Somehow, someway, it was agreed that Madison, Santana, and Rachel would ride in one cab while Brittany, Jenna, and Quinn would ride in another.

Madison joked that it was blondes versus brunettes but Quinn knew better. She had started to object, knowing that the two brunettes that weren't Rachel would try something, but Brittany had been so excited over the "Blonde Cab of Awesome" that any protest died on her tongue. She would not win any battle against Brittany and Quinn loathed Santana's twisted mind for knowing it.

Rachel wore a look that Quinn could not decipher; it appeared half-relieved and half-regretful, but there was that _something _that was just inconceivable.

"Come on, Q! I bet San that we'd beat them there!" Brittany shouted from the cab she had managed to hail before Santana could catch one herself. Madison stuck her tongue out at the blonde trio, winking at Quinn.

"Yea, babe, you don't want Brittany to lose this bet," the actress teased before planting a purposeful kiss on her lips. Quinn was helpless to Brittany's tug as she was forced into the cab.

"You can get your sweet lady kisses after, Q! I wanna win!" the dancer was practically bouncing on her seat.

Jenna had calmed down after seeing Madison and Quinn together - realizing she was probably just being paranoid - and gave the address to the driver. Her cab pulling away from the curb, Quinn looked back to see Rachel giving Madison a funny look.

Was that… jealousy? Surely not.

* * *

"_Yea, babe, you don't want Brittany to lose this bet."_

Rachel felt her back tense when that harlot accosted Quinn with her lips. Okay, so Madison was not in any way, shape, or form a harlot, and Quinn hadn't exactly been _accosted_ by that kiss, but still. Rachel remained adamant in her mind that Madison's show of affection was uncalled for. It's not like other couples just made out in public. Okay, so a peck on the lips wasn't exactly making out, but again, still. Brittany and Santana were the exception to this rule, obviously.

Instead of watching Quinn's, no—Jenna's – cab pull away, Rachel found herself glaring at the back of a mousy brown head. Because that's what it was- mousy. Definitely not a golden brown like Quinn probably claimed it was. The sheen of Madison's hair was absolutely pale in comparison to the gold that was speckled in those eyes that could never decide on whether to be green or brown. Not that Rachel had ever found herself staring into Quinn's eyes long enough to know that sometimes they appeared to be a lighter shade of brown, almost mahogany, while other times they were a shade not too dissimilar to cinnamon. However, no matter the shade of brown, both green and gold were ever present and -depending on the day and Quinn's mood - they could be dominant or recessive in appearance.

Certainly there was absolutely no way that Madison's hair could be on the same caliber as Quinn's eyes, and thus Rachel could not consciously call it golden. Therefore, it was mousy.

* * *

The car ride for Rachel could not have been any weirder; Santana and Madison were making obnoxious faces at each other for the first part and then they had verbally cornered Rachel for the second part.

The moment Rachel had managed to get a taxi's attention - Santana failed miserably and had refused to acknowledge the fact - the mood in the group had changed. Santana wore a mysteriously devious expression while Madison looked pleased. Rachel was just worried and it showed as she constantly glanced between the two. Somehow, much to her dismay, the tiny singer had ended up in the middle of the pair. All too late Rachel realized that she was being set up, only she didn't know exactly what she was being set up _for_.

Santana shook her head violently when Madison widened her eyes to emphasize _something_. In response, Madison nodded towards Rachel and then gestured to the outside with her hand. Santana bit her lip as she narrowed her eyes, but eventually she sighed and said, "Okay, fine."

Before any more silent talk could continue, Rachel spoke up.

"What are you two communicating silently about? I would appreciate being informed about the matter seeing as I am clearly a main feature in your 'discussion', if you will."

Both of the girls tried not to smile but only Madison succeeded.

"Oh, my small-bodied friend," Madison started much to Santana's delight, "we were discussing you and Quinn."

For a moment, Rachel absolutely panicked as she immediately assumed that the duo had read he mind earlier and knew that she had feelings for Quinn. Santana wouldn't have much to say on the fact— well, she absolutely would, it just wouldn't be horrible things. Madison, however, would be pissed. At least, Rachel assumed she would be seeing as she was happily dating Quinn. Seriously, the two were so cute it hurt. Literally, it _hurt_. Seemingly right where Rachel's heart was, not that she would ever admit it aloud.

But really, Rachel knew that this feeling wasn't going to go away anytime soon (ever), and she would be heartless to say she didn't consider Jenna's feelings. Just thinking about the blonde she was currently in a relationship with forced Rachel to swallow thickly as self-condemnation made an attempt to suffocate her. It would be tragically poetic for her to die that way; the reason she lived was for her voice, and for that very tool to be cut off...

Get your head straight, Rachel, she thought. Ignoring her own joke about not being straight in the first place, Rachel met Madison's eyes.

"And what, specifically, were you gesticulating about?"

"Well, to be frank - even though I'm clearly too hot to be a guy named Frank - I was wondering if you two had ever hooked up in college." Rachel, completely unaware of the fact that Madison had an in depth knowledge of exactly what happened between the two in college, was dumbstruck. The singer had absolutely no idea why Madison, Quinn's _girlfriend_, would ask something like that. Was Rachel too obvious about her feelings? There was no way. She had slipped a few times, granted, but never in front of Madison. Not directly anyway.

Santana watched as Rachel sputtered and decide to revel in the moment of the diva being caught 100% speechless. She had waited many years for something as rare as this occasion to happen, and damn it all if she wasn't going to take even a bit of enjoyment out of it.

"W-why would that matter? Not that I mind resolving any issues with telling the truth— it's just that your question is kind of out of the blue and I am curious as to why you, as her girlfriend, would wish to know about any possible past girlfriends. Not that I _am_ a past girlfriend – because Quinn and I have never been more than great friends – and what I mean to-" Madison cut her off by pressing her finger to those ever moving lips.

"You just seem really close, is all. I don't care, Rachel, it doesn't bother me." Madison shrugs. "Quinn and I are very much open about our pasts."

Rachel let her thoughts quiet before she responded. "Then… shouldn't you know what happened between us?"

"I do know," Madison smirked. "I was just teasing you. Quinn was right— you're kind of adorable when you're flustered."

"Quinn said that?" The words escaped Rachel's mouth before she had a chance to stop them. Santana laughed from her seat as she wished she had brought some popcorn along. Rachel swallowed, closed her eyes, and tried to turn back time so she could take the eager question back. Much to her dismay, when she opened her eyes again Madison's bemused gaze met hers instead.

"Most definitely. She talks an awful lot about you. Right Santana?" Rachel was beyond confused at the moment; she was very much aware of the fact that both she and Madison had girlfriends, and yet they were communicating about Quinn and her possibly more-than-friendly interests in Rachel.

"Hobbit this, midget that. It gets to the point where I wants to gag," Santana lied seeing as Quinn always avoided the subject of Rachel at all costs. Luckily for Madison, Santana liked playing her game— screw Quinn's request for them to back off.

Rachel bit her lip in contemplation; she couldn't decide whether this news excited her or upset her. Quinn speaking about her could mean that the blonde cared for her very much, but it could also mean that Quinn complained about her a lot. Then again, one doesn't usually call someone adorable when one is complaining about that said someone. Rachel took this realization as a plus and decided that she was still on good terms with her friend.

"Why are you advertising Quinn right now as if she were some brand of vegan steak? I must say that I am thrown by your decision to speak about your girlfriend just so." Madison could only blink at the unexpected query. She had not foreseen the diva analyzing her actions in all her plans, but that didn't mean that she wasn't prepared.

"Like I said, me and Quinn talk about everything. And, please, if Quinn was 'some brand of vegan steak' I wouldn't _need_ to advertise her; she would be delicious enough by herself. Enough so to make even the most carnivorous of red necks convert to your wily ways, in fact. This I know to be true and I bet Santana agrees."

Santana perked up at this and nodded slowly before an evil grin broke out. "Oh, god. If vegan meat were as fine as that girl's ass…"

_Great,_ Rachel thought. _Because all I need right now is the mental image of Quinn's rather nicely shaped lower back._ Rachel's thoughts paused for a moment as the image actually came to mind. _God, she really does have a great ass. I wonder what it would be like to… __**stop it! Stop these thoughts, stop these thoughts, stop these thoughts. **_Rachel seriously wanted to slap someone for the excessive amount of blushing she was doing lately. _Wait… vegan Quinn steak._

The idea of Quinn being food only enhanced Madison's plan; Rachel was unable to rid herself of the thoughts she mulled over that were about tasting the blonde. What Rachel had in mind wasn't exactly in the food pyramid, however.

Brown orbs glazed over for a minute before Rachel realized that she was a little uncomfortable in her seat. Shaking her head and fidgeting a bit, the singer turned to Madison one last time to dissect what the actress was playing at. Madison looked back at Rachel with a smirk but absolutely no jealousy victory clouded her features—no, in lieu of what the diva expected, Madison looked like she was having fun. Had Madison been toying with Rachel to get her to admit having feelings for someone that wasn't Jenna, Rachel would have found a different kind of grin on the girl's face. Had Madison wanted Rachel to admit her feelings for Quinn so that she was justified in giving the girl a beat down, Rachel would have expected a jolly green giant of envy.

Rachel was at a loss. She had no idea what game Madison was playing and apparently Santana was tagging along because the Latina was just laughing beside her.

"Thank you for noticing," Madison said as if Santana had complimented her personally. "It really is just as nice as it looks."

"Thank god, we're here," Rachel panted as the cab pulled to a stop outside the theater. The diva had never needed a breeze of cool air more than she did right now.

* * *

Quinn vaguely wondered if Rachel was having better luck than she was with her - what Quinn assumed was the plan - interrogation. Briefly thinking that _anything_ was probably better than the awkwardness that currently staled the air in the cab, Quinn bypassed the thought realizing that Rachel must have it much worse; Santana _and_Madison? Rachel was most likely shrinking under the scrutiny the two were exuding.

If Quinn knew Madison at all, she assumed the girl would be toying with Rachel's mind while Santana added a bit of sass here and there. Madison would definitely take charge of the situation, she was sure; Santana liked to control a room, sure, but Quinn knew the Latina got a bigger kick out of Madison's antics. While Santana would've made innuendo, Madison would play it coy or say something that would most definitely cause Rachel to blanch and stumble over her words. How Quinn knew this? She'd been on the receiving end of Madison's manipulation tactics far too many times.

Returning back to her situation, Quinn swallowed; her throat had dried an exorbitant amount upon hearing Brittany's question.

_"You know what we all have in common," the blonde ventured?_

_"What, B?" Quinn had stupidly - **stupidly** – responded. _

_"Blonde cab of awesome?" Jenna threw out._

_"No. Well, yes. But we all love Rachel, too! **Duh! **Not in the same way, but still."_

_Quinn's stomach dropped as she hoped that Brittany meant that in a completely platonic way. Well, for her at least._

_Jenna made a choking sound as her gaze darted away from Brittany, towards Quinn, then back to Brittany. She couldn't be sure if the dancer was confirming her suspicions or throwing them away. _

_At Jenna's clear disposition, Brittany turned to fully look at the woman with a look of determined confusion— a look that only one Brittany S Pierce could accomplish. "Don't you love Rachel?" she questioned._

_Clearing her throat, Jenna answered, "Well, yes. Yes I do."_

_Brittany didn't even ask Quinn if she loved Rachel; she merely looked at the blonde in question and smiled. _

_"I don't even have to ask you. You look at Rachel like I look at ducks." Brittany nodded once to herself before noticing Quinn's perplexed expression. "Right, Quinn? You love Rachel."_

"Well, she was my best friend, Britt. So, yes, I do." Safe. That was a safe response. There was no outright lying involved and, for that, Quinn felt better about herself. She may be in love with another woman's girlfriend, but at least she wasn't a liar.

"Not in _that _way, silly," Brittany chided. Just as she was about to continue, Jenna interrupted and thus saved Quinn's ass. Twice in the same day Jenna had managed to prevent Quinn from saying something that would surely be the equivalent of shoving her own foot in her mouth.

"Speaking of girlfriends, how long have you been with Santana, Brittany? Marriage and all."

Instantly distracted by the thought of talking about Santana, Brittany's features brightened.

"Including when we were having sex but not dating?"

Awkwardness aside, Quinn wouldn't have stopped the laughter that was bubbling in her throat even if she could have. No, Quinn let it out because Jenna's jaw had literally fallen open and then shut before it opened again as Jenna tried - and failed - to respond to what Brittany had just said.

"Yes," she finally got out.

"Since sophomore year of high school."

Jenna nodded as if that was a perfectly acceptable answer; she was still slightly in shock and really couldn't manage much else. Quinn was almost positive that her eye had twitched and she was instantly reminded of a robot repeating, "Does not compute, does not compute." _Jenna-bot malfunction, that's gonna be a code 786._

"Santana was as deep in the closet as they come," Quinn explained. "They weren't official until later in high school. She was kind of outed by this guy, Finn."

"Finn?" Jenna asked as something resembling recognition passed through her eyes. "I recognize that name."

"Rachel's ex-fiancé," Quinn replied with a little bit of bite. She really had never understood Rachel's infatuation with the boy. The words "handsome" and "talented" were not associated with the boy; not in Quinn's mind anyway. However, Quinn did find "oaf" and "bumbling fool" to be proper descriptions. Rachel was and always would be more than that boy - because Finn would always and forever be a man-child in Quinn's eyes - ever deserved. Needless to say, the best thing that ever happened to Rachel was her _not _getting married to the giant.

"Ah, yes," Jenna said as if she knew anything about the subject material.

That was something Quinn couldn't get over about Jenna— she had no history with Rachel. Clearly the diva hadn't warranted Jenna important enough to inform her of her past. Jenna knew next to nothing about most of the people in Rachel's life. Really, how was Quinn supposed to take this floozy seriously?

Pausing for a moment, Quinn realized that she was oddly annoyed with Jenna. Jenna hadn't specifically done anything to annoy her, and yet Quinn had the image of shoving the blonde out of the cab.

Before knowing that Jenna had been dating Rachel, Quinn had formed a friendship with the woman. Quinn saw her as a friendly, independent woman. And yet, here she was thinking of the woman as a floozy like a jealous school girl. Similar to the jealous school girl she once was.

The last thing Quinn wanted was to go back to being that girl because she was indeed a girl; not a woman. Quinn was older, more mature. She was a woman in every standard. She paid her own bills, bought her own things, lived in her own apartment, and she occasionally visited her mom— though that last part was a sworn secret on her mother's part. Quinn didn't want anyone to be able to find her after the whole Rachel catastrophe. The rejection then had made her a bit crazy, a little paranoid.

"She hasn't ever said much about him," Jenna spoke.

"That because there's not much to say about him. He was the quarter back, tall, dim, and Rachel thought he was her forever. Until he, you know, failed at life. He got denied by his school of choice – a _fantastic _decision on the school's part – and then decided to take after his father. That basically summarizes his life."

"He was really tall. Like those blue aliens in that movie me and Sanny went to see a long time ago."

Jenna paused and squinted her eyes in concentration. "I take it you are not too fond of this Finn guy?" The question was aimed at Quinn.

"I was in a car crash when I was on my way to their wedding. I like to think of that terrible moment of my life as a play in the hands of Fate. He didn't deserve her in the least." The harshness of Quinn's tone only amplified her words.

"Sometimes I wondered if he was related to Hagrid, even though he totally doesn't have a beard. But he wasn't a wizard otherwise he would've been at Hogwarts. Only, they don't have football at Hogwarts so he would have just been a weirdo there."

"I'll have to ask her more about him, then."

"Yes, please do because I would rather not waste moments of my life talking about him," the blonde dismissed the subject matter before smiling at Brittany. "Hagrid was too smart for Finn's family line, anyway."

"That's what San said when I told her!"

"Aw, crap, they beat us," Jenna said aloud as she noticed three brunettes standing outside the theater.

_Here we go,_ Quinn thought as it dawned on her that she hadn't heard Rachel sing in over three years.

* * *

**I meant to include the actual show in this, but I work 12 hour days, come home form a 2 hour round trip, and sleep 11 hours because my job is literally me running back and forth for hours. That leaves me negative 1 hours to write, so for the long wait for the update? I'm upset with myself but I try, really. Next update by Sunday, I promise. **

**It's hard to find motivation so this time I will make my plee blatant. Please leave a review and motivate me. I check my email and bam, no updates = me sad. I wish I could address every one, you all leave but I am just so utterly exhausted. However, even a review that corrects my grammar or something is taken in kind.**

**Thank you for reading, and I said the story would pick up, but that was before I realized I like to drag it on. I planned on 25 chapters total...**

**It is now looking to be 36ish. Yes, 6, not 5.**

**A pivotal point is coming up, probably in two chapters if I timed it correctly in my mind. Maybe 3.**

**This was unbeta'd, so the mistakes you found were all me.**

**GOD. I'm so excited to just get to the Faberry bunnies ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm so not happy right now... I edited and added a long A/N addressing most of the (AMAZING) reviews you all left me. **

...

**And then my computer restarted before I had a chance to save it.**

**Therefore I will briefly recap what I said then because I'm too annoyed to repeat it exactly:**

**I said _by_ Sunday, not _on _Sunday :D **

**To those who enjoyed the cab rides, yay!**

**To those who enjoy the Santana/Madison dynamic, dun dun duuunnn.**

**To those who feel bad for Jenna, sometimes it's quick like a band-aid. Sometimes it's not.**

**To those who want Faberry bunnies (oh wait, that's all of you), just a few more chapters.**

**Especially to PeppermintPatty and Silverfox: Your humor slays me. Really. 3**

**To myshipsank and anyone who feels similar: I love when I find a story that does that for me. You've no idea how great that makes me feel.**

**Here we go, folks:**

* * *

A sudden ball of nerves formed in Rachel's stomach and the poor actress was helpless to calm them down. It was a weird feeling, these nerves. Knowing she was born to be famous, nerves rarely bothered Rachel or interfered with her performance. Today was different, though. Today Quinn would be in the crowd.

Rachel's first début on Broadway had left her feeling a little shaky, but it was more so adrenaline rushing through her system than anything else. The trepidation she felt at the moment was very much different than what she had felt then.

Right now, she had this _fear, _this _apprehension_ that for some reason she would not do her role justice this _one_ time. Why Rachel felt this way worried her; when Jenna had seen Rachel on stage for her first time, Rachel had felt every bit as confident as she always did. There was absolutely nothing holding Rachel back then. Now, however, Rachel paced inside of her dressing room as she was having a mental breakdown. If she wasn't moving, she felt she would explode at this point. She couldn't recall even one line of the show, not one song lyric.

Rachel had performed in front of Quinn, for Quinn, with Quinn, and without Quinn all together. So why, when Rachel needed her talent the most, did it leave her? Why did it abandon her in her last few minutes of desperation?

Her dressing room door smacked open with a thud on her seventeenth – yes, she counted – lap. A subconscious part of her mind informed her that she was close to wearing a hole in the carpet.

"What the hell are you apparently throwing a fit about and causing the entire cast to go into panic mode—" Santana stopped short of what she was saying upon taking in the sight of a frenzied Rachel. The diva looked like she was about to cry.

"_Dios mio," _the Latina mumbled under her breath.

Rachel's head had snapped up upon hearing the door impact the wall and she was sending a glare Santana's way. Or, she was _trying_ to glare; she looked about as intimidating as a teddy bear wearing a tutu. Realizing her expression didn't affect her friend in the least, Rachel took the few steps needed and let her body fall slack into Santana's. She let all of the emotions that had overwhelmed her flow to her feet and subsequently out of her body.

Santana fortunately had great reflexes and wrapped her arms around the now useless weight that had forced itself upon her.

"I can't do it," Rachel whispered.

Leading the girl to the couch that was only a few feet away, Santana set her down roughly enough to provoke a huff out of the girl.

The Latina could only guess as to why Rachel was acting as she was, but she was almost positive that her guess was right. Rachel had performed, and had been performing, for years. The only thing different about today was that Quinn was here, and Santana instantly had her fears come true. Quinn had _just_ finished yelling at her and Madison about messing with people's lives.

* * *

"_You don't get it, Santana, do you? You need to stop this! There are __**people**__ involved; innocent people with feelings! Jenna __**loves**__ Rachel, Santana. Do you get that? She __**loves**__ her. They're good together, they work. So what, I'm stuck with whatever feelings I have. I can handle it. I've handled it for years; I can handle it for a few more."_

"_No, __**you **__don't understand—" the Latina tried to argue._

"_No, I understand just fine." She turned to Madison. "And __**you," **__she points. "After Kevin __**you **__should know how much cheating can hurt someone. The fact that nothing physical has happened between me and Rachel is insignificant! If anything, emotional cheating is worse." Quinn turns back to Santana._

"_We're not in high school anymore; what's going on started out funny but now it's just cruel. I'm not cruel anymore, S. I left that behavior behind. What just happened in that cab ride? Not okay. I had to sit next to a woman - a __**friend -**__ that loves the same woman I do. Do you understand how awful that feeling is? Especially when Rachel loves her back?"_

_Santana and Madison remained silent._

"_This game you've decided to continue on with – even though I clearly asked you both to stop – hurts three people. It hurts Rachel, it hurts Jenna, and it hurts __**me. **__You claim to be my best friends and yet you're openly choosing to cause me emotional pain. She's with Rachel, guys. We all need to accept that fact and move on," Quinn added the last part even though it was mostly meant for herself._

_She was forever going to be in love with a woman that didn't love her back. The one positive thing was that Rachel was still able to happy, and Quinn would do whatever was necessary to ensure that Rachel stayed happy._

_The blonde walked away just before Madison and Santana looked at each other guiltily. Their moment of mutual shame was interrupted by a thin, quirky boy looking anxious. "Are you Santana Lopez?" he asked._

_Santana nodded slowly._

"_Rachel Berry requires your assistance."_

* * *

"I can't talk about it with Jenna," Rachel managed to speak. She was only beginning to realize that she was crying and she frantically wiped her eyes; she could not go on stage a mess. Then again, right now she just couldn't go on stage in general.

"Talk about what?" Santana assumed that it was about Quinn, but she wanted to hear Rachel say it. She had to know that, while she had been acting childish, she hadn't made it all up in her head. She needed to hear Rachel admit that she felt something for Quinn. If not for her own worth, Santana needed to hear it for Quinn's sake. A part of the Latina felt that she owed it to her best friend to confirm that Quinn had a chance—that if circumstance permitted it, the blonde had a shot at being ridiculously happy.

She wasn't very good at dealing with tears, though, unless they were Brittany's. As close as Rachel was to her, Santana still didn't know quite how to handle the diva. There were times for sarcasm and jokes and there were times like now; times filled with emotional crap and all that jazz.

Rachel sat up and shuffled over to the other end of the couch, bringing her knees up and essentially curling into a little ball.

"Quinn's out there."

"Yes… and so are Brittany, Madison, Jenna, and me," Santana really didn't know what to say.

"No, Santana. _Quinn is out there," _Rachel ignored her friend's grammatical error. "I—she—we… I can't perform in front of her. I knew I was going to all day but I didn't realize that I'd have to actually _perform in front of her._ Now, any mistake I make she'll know, and she knows I _never _make mistakes. Because of the fact that I never make mistakes, she'll wonder why I made a mistake and then she'll try to delve into the reason as to _why _I made a mistake. If, from my inevitable blunder, she discovers that I've slipped up because I know she's watching me and-"

"Calm down, short stuff. You won't mess up because you're Rachel Freaking Berry. You can do anything," Santana softened her voice as she leaned closer to the hysterical woman and wiped a stray tear.

Rachel relaxed into the kind gesture and let out a deep breath.

"But what if I do?"

"Nobody's perfect, Rach," she soothed. "And please don't go all Miley Cyrus on my ass or I'll have to throw you off the roof of this building."

Santana felt successful the moment a light chuckle escaped Rachel's lips. "I never did like her, either."

Santana smiled before pulling Rachel into a hug, which the smaller girl returned eagerly as she tightly wrapped her arms around her friend's neck.

"Thanks," she said full of meaning as she pulled away.

"Anytime, shorty." Getting up to leave, Santana made sure Rachel held her gaze before saying, "Besides, you forget that you'll always be perfect in Quinn's eyes."

The dressing room door shut before Rachel could process what Santana had implied. A sudden warm, heart-wrenching feeling filled Rachel's chest and any anxiety she had felt previously was long gone.

Rachel Barbra Berry was ready.

* * *

The musical had started out pretty low key, not a lot of action. So far, Quinn found it enjoyable. It wasn't over the top, and it wasn't underdone either. It held a perfect balance of emotion and visual aids—well almost.

Rachel hadn't made an appearance yet and the show was thirteen minutes in—not that Quinn was impatiently waiting, or anything.

Some guy was singing a song about a woman he had once loved – even though he had just been to dinner with his current girlfriend in the last scene – when Rachel finally made her appearance. Quinn's jaw gaped and her eyes almost flew out of their sockets; what an entrance it was.

The scene had gone from the man walking in the park to the same man in a casino-like area. It was a flashback scene that apparently took him to where he had evidently met this woman he had been in love with. The only women visible in this scene were scantily clad showgirl dancers, however. Rachel was one such woman, and Quinn began to feel uncomfortable in her seat. Could they have put any _less_ clothing on her?

The man was now sitting on a chair in what Quinn was led to believe was a crowd of men. Each dancer took position in front of a man and put her leg on the arm of his chair. Rachel was in front of the leading man, though all the other men had now joined in on the music. Quinn vaguely heard the words "seduction" and "lust" in the lyrics. The mood of the song was clearly meant to seduce and Quinn was a bit mesmerized.

Turning, all of the women removed their legs to lean backwards and practically sit on their men. Heads flew back as passion took over the dancers, and the men. Quinn shifted in her seat a bit as Rachel turned around again and sunk her head suggestively low on the man, as did all the dancers. The synchronicity finally ended when all the other dancers walked backwards, making sure to sway their hips while doing so, but Rachel stayed standing in front of her man. They held each other's gaze for a moment before he stood up and the scene around them was suddenly different.

Quinn blinked at the change. Had she really been staring that intensely that she hadn't noticed the change until well after it had happened? Thanks to Rachel, the group of five had seats that were in the perfect location; Quinn could see the brunette's face clearly.

The song hadn't ended, but it had evolved into a song that was less about seduction and more about falling in love. The pair was at a park, laughing at the antics of the children around them. The man leaned in for a kiss but Rachel pulled back with a teasing smile as she stood up and skipped over to another scene.

Now the two were stumbling up the stairs, too blinded by each other to walk properly. His hands were all over her as hers were all over him in return. He lifted her up eventually and swiftly managed to unlock the apartment door; his apartment, because she had roommates as she was much younger than him.

Suddenly they were on a bed and she was singing about him being her first. Quinn was dying inside. The next thing she knew, Rachel's top was off.

_**What?!**_ Quinn thought. No one had warned her of this.

His hands were traveling everywhere and the blonde shifted in her seat again.

"Having trouble?" she heard a whisper.

Shooting a glare to her right, Quinn wanted to smack Madison.

"Shut up."

Her heartbeat picking up, Quinn was forced to listen as Rachel began making extremely provocative sounds. Her back arched off of the bed as she continued to sing in perfect pitch. Quinn's eyes glazed over at the sight and she deflated at the fact that no position would be comfortable to sit in now, so she just clenched her thighs together and resolved to watch the rest of the musical.

Luckily, the stage had gone dark and the scene had ended. Quinn released a deep breath and heard Madison chuckle beside her.

"Shut up," Quinn repeated, only this time it was mumbled and therefore much less fearsome.

* * *

The rest of the musical dealt with the man dealing with his long-lost love for Rachel. He found her again by chance at some café – because _that _wasn't cliché – and ultimately chose Rachel's character over his current girlfriend. Quinn rolled her eyes at the foolishness of the musical. Well, she was halfway through the motion when reality decided to call "check!" and Quinn was forced to serve the bill.

Why did it appear that every story in Quinn's life recently reflected possibilities with Rachel?

Quinn put herself in the man's shoes, and while she thought him pathetic, she realized she would have done the same thing. Hell, she basically _had_ done the same thing. The blonde knew for a fact that if Madison hadn't slipped up with Kevin, Quinn would've broken up with Madison the second she saw Rachel. Either that or she would've had to suffer the humiliation and guilt of screaming out Rachel's name during sex. Yea, Quinn definitely would have ended it.

Did that make Quinn heartless? The blonde didn't think so. She loved Madison, true, but comparing her feelings for Madison was like comparing bacon to spinach; there simply _was no_ comparison. Quinn liked both, but she really couldn't live without bacon. Rachel was Quinn's bacon, and Quinn loved to eat her bacon.

Oh, god, the images that ran through her mind at the thought of Rachel being edible.

Before Quinn was able to short circuit, applause rang out as the musical officially ended. There were bows and whistles and lights. There were yells and hollering and maybe even a little bit of tears, even though Santana would admit nothing of the sort later on.

What happened in the moments before Quinn was able to see Rachel, the blonde would never know. Those few minutes were a complete blur in her mind; blame it on her eyes for not adjusting to the lights fast enough, or the lack of music causing silence to muffle her hearing. Either way, one moment Quinn was regretfully smiling at Rachel on the stage and the next she was in Rachel's dressing room encasing the tiny diva in an I-am-now-lifting-you-off-the-ground hug.

"You were amazing," the blonde murmured into her ear.

Rachel tightened her arms around her friend in response.

"Thank you."

Placing the brunette back on her feet, Quinn took half a step back and couldn't help but get lost in those brown eyes she loved so much. They were glassy, emotional, and filled with melted chocolate. Quinn could live in those eyes; they were so open and loving. Quinn could stare into them every day and never grow tired of the view. She could gaze into those gleaming orbs for hours and hold a silent communication. She tried for that now.

_You were so great. You __**are**__ so great._

The motion of her thumbs circling on Rachel's shoulders was lost to the blonde, as was the returned gesture of Rachel's grasp on Quinn's waist.

Rachel's eyes closed of their own volition and Quinn realized in that moment that they were not alone in the least. Sending a quick glance to her left, the blonde absorbed four faces that each held a different expression.

Santana was turned to Brittany and the adoring look in her eyes spoke worlds.

Brittany was holding Santana's hand but kept her focus on Rachel and Quinn. Her blue eyes twinkled with unspoken wisdom; she knew that this was meant to be.

Madison was looking at the corner of the room. Her face looked slightly pink tinged from embarrassment. She felt she was intruding on a special moment.

Jenna looked… like she wanted for none of this to be happening.

* * *

There was an inner battle going on in Jenna's head, and she couldn't decide whether anger or disappointment was a more appropriate response to the event taking place before her.

Jenna was not as oblivious as Rachel seemed to think she was. Right now, Rachel was looking at Quinn with a depth that Jenna had never once been on the receiving end of. If feelings were palpable, Jenna would say passion must be flooding the room. The look that Rachel and Quinn were sharing now held more than adoration, more than affection, and much more than desire. Yes, the almost tangible connection between the two was just that; there was an attachment between the writer and the actress that could almost be seen by the naked eye.

Jenna found she couldn't be outraged because such expression could not be faked. She also found she couldn't be sad because as Rachel's eyes fluttered shut, Quinn sent a glance over to everyone else and Jenna could decipher the fear in those eyes. Fear of Jenna? No, surely not. It was most probably the fear of emotions so strong that the writer found herself unable to _not _act on them. The fear of a love so _raw_ that even morals and knowledge of the pain that those involved would suffer from could not hold it back.

Jenna took a deep breath while closing her eyes; this is what her life had come to. At least a few things made sense now.

Rachel had been acting funny lately. While Jenna had deceived herself into thinking that the partially incoherent murmurs of "Quinn" – that Rachel had been powerless to prevent in her sleep – merely implied that Rachel missed her friend, she could now see her foolishness for what it was. Jenna had been naïve; but purposely so. In an attempt to ignore the fact that anything was wrong in her relationship, Jenna had forcibly disregarded Rachel's boundaries as short-term ideas.

Interrupting the second moment Rachel had had with Quinn that day, Jenna cleared her throat.

"Ready to go home?" She couldn't quite bring herself to add a 'Rach' at the end.

* * *

**Unbeta'd because my beta works the same job I do and she's not available 24/7 :( **

**I've fixed most of the typos from last chapter, which were plenty and annoyed me. Sorry for any you're likely to find in this chapter.**

**Next update before Thursday. I'm thinking Wednesday.**

**Real quick note: You guys legit blew me away with those reviews. Best followers a girl could ask for.**


	21. Chapter 21

**I'll warn you this is an angsty chapter.**

* * *

Eyes closed, arms clenched tight around an object of pure perfection, heart pumping erratically, the light aroma of vanilla flooding all and any senses, and finally the warmth of unadulterated body heat simply radiating off of said perfection and melding with her own. Rachel was sure that she was in heaven as there could be no other explanation for the current state of mind she found herself in.

Her world was spinning. Literally, she felt the light draft of air encircle her as she squeezed tighter to pale skin and dug her face into creamy flesh.

Eyes open, arms falling loosely around a figure still of pure perfection, heartbeat slowing down from a jackhammer pace to that of a jogger's, vanilla turning subtle until it all but evaded her senses forcing her to yearn for the luscious scent pathetically, and finally the chill of feeling that something is missing. Rachel was sure that she had fallen from heaven into hell because the ache in her chest was enough to bear her soul naked and push it down.

Her world was ending, and yet it was beginning because Quinn stood before her with eyes open, spirit dancing, lips quirked, and love pouring from every feature of her face.

The light tracing of circles on Rachel's shoulders cemented her in place and she was unaware of her own hands on Quinn's hips until she felt feeling come back into her body slowly. The connection of their arms felt like a metaphor, and Rachel Berry was always ones for metaphors. What was in reality only flesh, muscle, and bone, Rachel felt from the deepest part of her body that their arms were really their souls reaching out to each other in a desperate attempt to explain to their bodies that they should never be apart. Rachel looked into that piercing hazel and saw the primal need to love in the depths of those gold speckles. She saw herself in the reflection of the glassiness and she really couldn't have been able to tell anyone what was up and what was down in that moment.

Eyes closed, hands on curves crafted by the palms of the gods, heart beating at the pace of an inchworm peacefully crawling it's way to a faraway leaf, the faint waft of coconut blending with the warm air of the room, and finally the blazing heat of two thumbs residing on her shoulders. Rachel was sure that, heaven or hell, she had never wanted to be anywhere else other than where she was now.

"Ready to go home?"

Maybe it was purgatory.

* * *

Awkward situations were not new to Rachel; she was an actress, after all. She had been introduced to less-than-phenomenal actors and after knowing them for all of five minutes she had been informed that she was to practice a sex scene with said men. Not at the same time, of course. Different times, different men. The point was still made, regardless.

Rachel could handle awkward— she was a professional.

The circumstance she currently found herself in, however, went far beyond the description of awkward. Indeed, the brunette felt positively horrified when Jenna had spoken up and she realized that the moment she was having with Quinn was not shared in solitude. The depravity of the whole situation had twisted her stomach into tight knots of panic that had only clinched closer on the silent car ride home. Jenna hadn't been cold in demeanor, but she had been different. She had carried herself separately; as if she was in the car but she wasn't really _in_the car.

While the blonde usually held Rachel's hand, both had rested calmly on her lap instead. This left Rachel with two free hands, and when she was feeling anxious it was never a good thing for her hands to be free. In an effort to avoid wringing them for the whole ride home, the brunette clasped them together and copied Jenna's stance of laying them atop her lap.

Unlike the way Quinn could render her speechless, the silence in the cab was not a welcomed one. It was a silence that spoke more words than Rachel ever could. It was a silence of knowledge, of understanding, of regret, and lastly it told of more to come. What that "more" was, Rachel would find out later after they were already in the apartment.

* * *

The sound of keys clinking broke the tense silence that had followed the pair from the cab. Rachel almost jumped from the sound for it was so intense a noise compared to what she had been exposed to in the last ten minutes.

There were ideas, worries, and anxieties running amuck in Rachel's mind. Certainly the display of affection between Quinn and herself was obvious, but was it really _telling?_ Had Jenna understood all of what Rachel had perceived from that paused moment of time? Was Jenna aware of Rachel's sudden – though ever-present – feelings for Quinn?

Hell, was _Rachel _cognizant of just what had happened between her and her old friend?

"So."

One word, that's all it took for Rachel to feel like she was about to break. Her tongue felt thick, her mouth was dry, and her throat felt as if she had swallowed a jaw-breaker whole and was in the process of choking.

Jenna turned around slowly on her heel as she spoke and sat down on a stool while she faced Rachel. The brunette was unsure of whether or not she was to sit opposite of her girlfriend, but she felt her knees buckling and figured it was a better option than collapsing onto the ground.

Ill-equipped to respond, Rachel stared at the countertop as she threaded her hands together in front of her.

"You did great on stage."

The comment threw the brunette off—shouldn't they be having a very different conversation right about now? The strangeness forced Rachel to look into Jenna's eyes, which looked slightly glazed over.

"Everyone thought so; Brittany and Madison wouldn't stop talking about how amazing you were the whole walk to your room. Santana cried a little, but she refused to admit it afterwards."

Where was Jenna going with this?

"Quinn looked like she had found her heaven."

Oh, that's where she was going with this.

"When the show started, everyone relaxed into their seat except Quinn. I wondered why her shoulders were so taut, why she appeared to be critiquing every move. Then you were introduced as the showgirl and she practically melted into the chair. Her eyes followed you the whole time," Jenna paused.

Sharp blue eyes perforated the apologetic exterior of Rachel's very being. The slight glaze had dissipated and that had polished the sapphire in a painful sense.

"You may wonder why I spent so much time watching her, and to be honest, I really couldn't tell you why. Maybe it's because I thought of her – and I guess I still do – as a friend. I wanted her to enjoy the show."

Like a blade being sheathed, the edge to Jenna's gaze vanished.

"I stopped watching her at a point because you began to sing your solo and your voice drew my attention. In spite of how drawn I was to the melody, I couldn't push back this thought that popped into my head. '_How is Quinn reacting?'_ I thought. So I looked."

The glaze was back and was quickly misting over.

"She looked so…" Jenna seemed unable to put her thoughts into words. "Entranced, Rachel." That was the first time the blonde had spoken her name since the show.

Rachel desperately searched for words. The brunette grappled at something to say; anything. She found none.

"It was as if she had died and was looking down that tunnel that everyone speaks of. Instead of 'the light', she saw you."

The wet, disconsolate coating shrunk in size as rueful rivulets made their way down Jenna's cheeks.

"I knew then that she must be in love with you, but I wasn't worried. Not much."

Jenna brought her right hand up and pinched the bridge of her nose as she shook her head disgustedly.

"I wasn't too concerned because I knew that _I_ had you."

Rachel felt this monster trying to tear itself out of her chest and she groped at it in an effort to keep herself together.

"But I don't have you."

She wiped a stray tear away.

"And I never had you."

Rachel couldn't prevent the whimper that escaped her lips.

"Because when we entered your dressing room afterwards, you only had eyes for Quinn. I swear it was as if the world had been caving in on itself and you two were sharing a last embrace."

Words. That was all Rachel asked for. She asked every god, every saint, every idea she had ever learned of. God. Allah. Zeus. Jesus. Moses. Buddha. Hell, even Barbra Streisand.

Religion be damned, Rachel would have latched on to a_nything._

"I wasn't even mad, you know? Fuck." The swear word triggered the widening of dark brown eyes. Jenna _never_ swore.

"I actually felt _happy. _Do you know how sick that is? I felt as if I had been watching a romantic movie and the two main characters had _finally_ ended together."

Rachel felt the pace of her breathing pick up.

"I'm not senseless, Rachel."

Full lips trembled as a vast wave of salty water spilled from chocolate orbs.

"And that is why I'm going to end this—" she waved at the space between the two, "sham, or whatever it was to you."

Finally, Rachel felt blood rush to revive the plumbing of her throat.

"It wasn't a _sham," _Rachel cried. "I… I'm not heartless!"

"I know." Jenna released a shaky breath. "And now I'm going to leave before I say things I'll regret, which you'll respond to and then say things that _you're_ likely to regret."

Rachel gave the impression that she was about to protest as Jenna stood up, so the blonde pushed thin shoulders down thus keeping the smaller woman in place.

"I know you haven't done anything behind my back, but I know that you care too much sometimes and won't want to hurt anybody. If I was angry, I'd force you to admit it, but I'm… I'm more hurt than angry right now, and so I won't. I really love you Rach," her voice cracked. "But I know…" she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I know this won't…"

"Jenna," Rachel felt the need to do or say _something_ to soothe the blonde.

Her main goal in life was to never hurt anyone ever again. She'd reached Broadway, she'd become a star, now all she needed to do was remain who she was. Rachel Berry was not a heart-breaker.

And yet, here she was, breaking the heart of an amazing woman. A woman who loved her so much that she was willing to walk away. A woman who had spent three-fourths of a year with her and had taken care of her for most of that time. A woman who a pictured a future with her and had once upon a time imagined marrying her. A woman she had woken up to day after day. A woman who knew her body like no other human on the planet. A woman who was beautiful inside and out.

A woman that was leaving because Rachel was ungrateful enough to not return her love.

A woman that had not in any way deserved the treatment she was given.

A woman that Rachel had wanted to love, but couldn't.

A woman who wasn't Quinn.

Rachel Berry was a heart-breaker, and she knew in that moment that it wasn't Jenna who was undeserving; it was Rachel. Rachel didn't deserve Jenna.

"I never deserved you," she cupped a perfect cheek in her right hand. She was only slightly stung when Jenna turned her face away from the contact.

"Goodbye, Rach," a raspy voice choked out and Rachel's heart withered at the thought that Jenna meant for forever.

The sound of footsteps paused at the door and for a moment Rachel thought that Jenna might turn around and rush back to her, swinging her into a hug that she very much needed at the moment. It was with great remorse that Rachel heard the doorknob turn and then the inevitable _click_ of the door closing behind the woman she would never forget.

* * *

**I. Love. Your. Reviews. **

**Silverfox: I died and found Nirvana reading your comment. Literally, words cannot express how it made me feel.**

**girltogirl: Sort of, but not quite :P**

**CloisRonita: Me too :( Forever alone!**

**slightlystellar: Aww, thanks :) I like to think I'm pretty intelligent.**

**Abnab: True dat.**

**myshipsank: You have my permission to declare your love in that manner xD In fact, I'm totally going to use your idea. Too bad I'm a vegetarian so it wouldn't make sense... but the point remains!**

**Guest about the Cell Block Tango: Creepy... I'm listening to that song RIGHT NOW.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N 1: The tense is jumbled because the one-shot I'm working on is present-tense and this story is usually past-tense… so I'm having a hard time with consistency. **

**A/N 2: From now on each chapter is likely to be un-beta'd. **

**A/N 3: I've just moved into my dorm so I cannot promise fast updates as I am getting used to college life. **

**A/N 4: Here comes that chapter that's kind of a disappointment compared to all the drama of the previous chapters. BUT. Here comes that chapter that also only includes Quinn and Rachel. :)**

* * *

Standing up was seemingly a foreign idea for Rachel at the moment. How could one flex enough muscles in such a distinct manner of coordination as to force one's body into an upright position? What ingenious mind had connected enough cells to propagate a sufficient signal to do so?

Rachel couldn't fathom the idea of moving, let alone of rising to her feet and managing to put one foot in front of the other. Gravity surely must have been multiplied by three as the weight on the brunette's shoulder had done anything but lifted. Had the Earth shifted in its orbit? Was the gravitational pull indeed increased due to some crazy absurd reasoning that even scientists were hard pressed to come to an agreement about?

In some part of her mind, buried deep within all of her other thoughts, Rachel knew that no such preposterousness was to blame; frankly, she just didn't want to admit it. She couldn't admit that she felt such an ample amount of guilt that she was literally paralyzed where she sat. Her hands had since fallen from their position in the air; Jenna was no longer standing before her.

She sat, back now crumbling at a dawdling pace, and aimed her gaze at nothing in particular. How she had kept her eyes open? She must have super human powers because the inclination to close them was overbearing.

In the end it was the fear of closing her eyes and seeing Jenna's broken expression over and over and over again that kept those thin walls of flesh ajar.

Rachel refused to see with her eyes because anything she looked at would be a reminder of the woman. When she had dealt with losing Jenna for that week a while back, every single decoration in her apartment had left her feeling nostalgic. Now, she knew such things would only make her sick.

The picture frame that was hanging on the wall in front of her, a bit to the left; Rachel had taken that photo when she had visited Jenna's hometown for the first time. Jenna's eyes were wide with giddiness—she had immediately upon arrival taken Rachel to the restaurant she had practically lived in because she visited so often. They didn't eat anything there – there was nothing vegan-friendly available except water – but Jenna did explain to Rachel that the restaurant had been her motivation to cook. Rachel had snapped a shot of Jenna stirring some liquidly thin mixture that the head cook – Jenna's friend – there had handed her.

Rachel had then gone to a store and gotten the picture blown up; she'd loved it so much. Jenna's eyes were caught in the light and the sky had absolutely nothing on those reflective blue irises.

The key rack to Rachel's right – beside the door – was a gift from Jenna after Rachel had continually lost her keys due to never placing them in the same location. It was a white ceramic column-like piece and it had a small bowl-shaped top so as to hold the keys. There was a chip on one side from when Rachel had fallen over it and after had subsequently kicked it in frustration.

In front of her was the doorless parcel of wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. Inside that smaller room Rachel knew there to be a couch, a loveseat, a rug, and a television. That couch had been through a lot of drunken messes the ended in tears for both Rachel _and_ Jenna. The loveseat held memories of cuddling to sappy movies and intense make-out sessions that led to the bedroom. The rug carried the scent of hot chocolate that Jenna had spilled while on her way to bringing it to Rachel during the cold winter. While the television itself had been Rachel's before meeting Jenna, the movies they had watched together, the shows they had mutually enjoyed, and the laughs that had been compelled out of them during funny moments were the only things she could remember.

To her left was the kitchen itself that Jenna had spent so much of her time in, cooking for Rachel. The oils, the spices, and the powders that the blonde had always combined to make delicious meals with still sat in their same positions. The plates, the bowls, the knives. The pots and pans. They all held traces of the blonde's talents.

Beyond the kitchen existed the bedroom and en suite bathroom. Needless to say, many things had happened beyond the kitchen.

So Rachel didn't look because, if she did, she would be reminded of all of these things. Knowing that these things were there was painful enough; having to see them and acknowledge their existence would only maim what little was left of Rachel's self-control. She wouldn't cry. She _wouldn't._

But she would, and she does.

She could not find the strength within her body to stand, but she could find enough to turn slightly and collapse onto the table in a crumpled heap.

Her breakdown has been long in coming – it's overdue – and her eyelids slam shut. Sure enough, Jenna's face is the first thing she sees. At first it's an expression of such agony that Rachel opens her mouth to let out a silent wail. That's when the real flood of tears starts and it's not so silent anymore.

Before too long, Jenna's face is replaced by Quinn's, however, and Rachel's gasps of air turn into those of disbelief. Rachel imagines Quinn's softened hands finding a home on her cheeks and she can't help the warmth that spreads throughout her body.

She's lost Jenna, but she hasn't lost Quinn. Not this time around.

* * *

The first day after the breakup was not a good day for Rachel. For the first time in her career she took a day off and requested that her understudy replace her for the night's show. The director had not been pleased, but he had sent his "get well" regards no less.

* * *

The second day after the breakup was also pretty depressing. Rachel constantly checked her phone for a call or a message from Jenna because_ surely_ the blonde had called her and she had just zoned out and missed it. She didn't expect Jenna pleading to get back together or anything like that, she merely thought that maybe – _just maybe – _Jenna had missed her, too. If only for the conversation.

There was not a single notification all day on her phone, however. Even her apps were too disgusted with her to send her messages.

She debated on calling her dads but she feared disappointment.

Later in the night Rachel found herself silently crying and called in again. She turned her phone off.

* * *

Three days had passed since Jenna had withdrawn from Rachel's life and the brunette really hadn't improved much. She had progressed some, though, if only a tiny bit. She wished – oh, how she wished – that her broken heart was truly a consequence of being broken up with. However, she knew that - despite her hopes - she was actually thankful that she was single. Well, not for the being alone part– she hated that part. No, she was relieved to know that she didn't have to worry about another's feelings. Not for the moment.

She was currently not responsible for the emotions of others. That was not to say that the heartache that Jenna was most likely suffering from was negligible—quite the contrary, that was almost all that Rachel thought about. She merely meant that the guilt of thinking about Quinn no longer followed her. Rachel didn't have to chastise her own thoughts anymore.

This was different than their split a while back. Then it hadn't been final. Then it had been a "break".

Still, she hated falling asleep alone at night. It was different than falling asleep and knowing that she would wake up next to Jenna. She _knew _she would wake up alone, and probably cold, too. And that was the worst feeling of all. Not the cold part – although, really, that part was just awful – but the alone part. Being single wasn't synonymous of being alone and Rachel found that she was in the unfortunate party that was both.

And she hated it. She hated knowing that Jenna probably felt the same thing, only it was because of her. So she hated herself just a little bit.

* * *

The fourth day after the breakup, Rachel knew she had to return to the show. Still, knowing and doing were two different activities and Rachel was more inclined to know than to do. Her bed was really comfy and while she had spent the last three days in the same position – the pain her neck had been in after waking up from the table had taught her a valuable lesson – she found she hadn't grown tired of it yet.

Well, she hadn't grown tired of it until she was forced to get up and every single muscle was stiff from lack of use. She'd only gotten up when absolutely necessary, for example when her bladder threatened to burst into individual cells.

Honestly, she felt like a robot and it was more than mildly unpleasant. She hadn't really even been sleeping in the bed; she had tried but it'd been a night full of restlessness and she only managed an hour or two at a time.

She had been silly thinking she was off the hook for her thoughts about Quinn—she still felt miserable about the whole ordeal. God, she was an ass.

A knock on her door brought her out of her stupor and she delayed in answering it. Who could it be? No one had called beforehand. Slowly making her way to the door, sense knocked into Rachel in a fashion similar to any physical punch and she felt winded. _That knock…_

She recognized that knock. That knock had been with her for the best part of her college experience.

"Quinn?" she yanked open the door as she tilted her head to the side.

* * *

My hand had been in the process of repeating my usual Rachel-pattern knock (that I remembered from our college days) when the wood was no longer where it was only a moment ago. Thankfully, I had properly prepared myself for seeing Rachel. Jenna was probably in the apartment and they had probably fallen asleep in each other's arms. Because Jenna was dating Rachel, because Jenna loved Rachel. And that's what couples did.

My heart pulled at its strings; this wouldn't have been a problem if Rachel hadn't responded to my hug the other day as more than I expected. If she had just squeezed and released…

"Quinn?" a mess of chestnut hair tilted to the side and eyebrows came together in a knot of confusion.

I swear that right then and there I just about melted. Why did she have to be so damn huggable? I wasn't even particularly fond of hugs. Rachel was just standing there wearing grey sweatpants – which I knew to have a big yellow star on the backside that went so far as to actually read "STAR" – and a plain white tank-top. Her hair was in a half-ponytail as most of it had fallen out. She looked exactly like she had freshman year of college. Then again, her eyes seemed a little red and maybe a little tired.

And her skin was slightly pale. And her tank-top looked well-worn and wrinkled. She wasn't wearing any socks and her nail polish was chipped. There was a thin pinkish line on her cheek that I figured was from laying on a wrinkled blanket, too.

I felt my eyebrows mirror Rachel's as I came to realize that she looked more than a little tired; she looked undeniably exhausted.

"Are you okay?" I completely forgot the reason as to why I came here in the first place as I was now just worried about something having happened to my tiny friend. Before I knew it I had taken a step forward and caught Rachel's cheek in my palm. Her skin was so soft, it amazed me.

Rachel's breath hitched at the touch and I feared that maybe I had overstepped a boundary as I stupidly came to realize that, again, _Jenna._

_You're her friend, you're her friend, you're her friend. _Then again, I did this sort of thing in college, too. And… _she _had been there then. Okay, so that was a terrible example seeing as Avery became super jealous and temporarily ruined the friendship that Rachel and I had tried to forge. Analogies were never my forte anyway.

"Why are you here, Quinn?" the question was just that; a question. There was no accusation in the tone, no pressure. There was no offence to be taken on my part.

Fine, so maybe a little part of me was pained by the fact that Rachel clearly hadn't been as affected by the moment we had shared after the show. For me, my world sort of came together. I had gone home and slept peacefully for the first time in weeks because of that one instant. I had been in a daze for the rest of the night, actually. All I could think of was the slight waft of coconut that had filled my senses combined with the softest of sun-kissed skin. Her skin, her hair, her smell, the feeling of her body; there was no other heaven I cared for. Religion be damned.

"I…" had to think for a second. "You weren't answering your phone." Look at me, Miss Articulate. How did I manage to receive a Bachelor's degree? I tried again. "I called yesterday to see if you wanted to have that talk but it went straight to voicemail. I may have feared that you were ignoring me so I had Santana call…" I omitted the part about panicking over the fact that Rachel may have very well been fighting with Jenna because of the scene we had made before their departure back to the apartment.

I really hadn't meant for the hug to be anything other than just that. I couldn't fully be to blame; my emotions had gotten the best of me. I hadn't even been in my right mind at the time, in truth. It was as if something had taken hold over my body and I wasn't willing to argue.

Something flashed in puddles of chocolate syrup too fast for me to grasp at it.

The little diva she is, Rachel literally facepalmed. "I forgot to turn it back on."

I raised an amused eyebrow as I took to leaning against the threshold. "And why was it off in the first place?" I asked. Immediately, I felt bile rise in my throat as I realized that I probably didn't want to hear the answer. If she said anything about needing alone time with Jenna… I was going to empty my stomach onto her welcome mat.

Instead of an embarrassed look like I expected, Rachel grimaced and my worry was back. "Coffee?"

Disregarding her deflection, I made it a point to bring up the conversation again later. If she didn't want to talk about it now, that was fine by me. I understood needing time.

"Sounds fine to me. Are you free now?"

"I am. I just need some time to get ready. Can you give me a few minutes?" She turned around halfway through her statement and made her trek to the bathroom.

_I could give you a lifetime, _I thought as I walked into the apartment, closing the door behind , I wanted to roll my eyes at _myself._ That was the corny kind of shit that only sold in books and movies. Hell, it sold in my book. Levin was pretty charming, if I do say so myself.

"I'm sorry?" Rachel turned around from her walk to the bedroom.

Oh, shit. I hadn't a_ctually _said that aloud, had I? _Shit, shit, shit._

"I said 'no problem'," I lied.

* * *

**I ripped you all off. I intended to include the actual conversation… and really I wanted to so bad because of all the amazing reviews you guys are leaving me… but I just don't want to force it. Again, though, the reviews ASTOUND me. Silverfox, you're like this force of awesomeness. You basically summarize the chapters and make it sound freaking remarkable. For that, I thank you.**

**To everyone who agreed that Rachel didn't deserve Jenna… I should agree, seeing as, oh, you know, I **_**wrote it. **_**And yet I'm feeling defensive of Rachel… this is sad. Besides my weird emotions, I'm glad that, even though you've gotta love Rachel, (if you're a Faberry shipper I just assume…) you could agree with that conclusion.**

**Anywho, because deadlines make me write more efficiently, update by Saturday (if rugby and my classes don't kill me in the meanwhile).**

**Legit, here begins the official Faberry-goodness of my story.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I am fully to blame for the lateness. I wrote most of this chapter right after posting the last update... but I didn't get back to it until last night. And then I kept erasing it all because it wasn't coming out how I wanted. Probably because I wasn't in the proper state of mind...**

**That said, here's _that_ chapter with _that _moment. Hope you enjoy and you don't hate me for the way this update ends.**

* * *

A few minutes of waiting turned into five minutes, which turned into ten minutes, which then turned into fifteen minutes. Quinn wanted to be impatient and she wanted to be irritated that Rachel was taking so long, but she simply couldn't find it within herself to be. They were only going for coffee – or so Rachel thought – and Rachel blended well in the busy streets of New York; she didn't need to worry about any hordes of paparazzi. Knowing this, Quinn could only presume that Rachel was trying to look good for someone and seeing as they hadn't made plans to see meet up with anyone else…

But that was wishful thinking and that was wrong; Rachel was with Jenna. Quinn constantly reminded herself of that fact and yet it clearly never sank in just right. Speaking of the other blonde, Quinn wondered where she was.

"Rachel," she called into the bedroom from her seat at the table. She waited for a response so she wouldn't have to repeat anything. Rachel ended up sticking her head out, poking the open space of the threshold of her bedroom door with her hair.

"Yes, Quinn?"

"Where is Jenna?" That was the moment Quinn realized something was off—it was as if time paused for a second and she was finally able to connect the dots. Suddenly, everything around Quinn sharpened and she could see the things she had missed when she had been caught up in thought. The table was clear, but not clean in the way that she would expect had Rachel or Jenna cleaned it after a meal. The sink was empty, but looked like it hadn't seen water in a few days; as if no one had used it. There were not multiple pairs of shoes by the door, just those that Quinn knew to be Rachel's. There were no pictures around of the two, but there was one of LeRoy and Hiram.

"Does she not… live with you?" Now that was just odd to Quinn. Hadn't they been together for eight months? There was U-Hauling and there was evasion. Either way, that not-so-small part of Quinn that refused to admit defeat lit up like a beacon of hope.

Not everything was as it appeared, apparently.

The look on Rachel's face deflated any positive thoughts Quinn had just conjured. The diva visibly swallowed and bit her lip, aiming her eyes at the ground. She slightly shook her head before replying, "Jenna has her own apartment."

This is where the lying by omission would begin, Rachel knew. She wanted to tell Quinn about what had happened but she wasn't sure of just how to go about it. 'Well, even though she has her own apartment, she usually stayed here but she broke up with me because she found out I'm hopelessly in love with you and she believes that you're just as desperately in love with me, too. Granted, I can't tell if that second part is true because even though I feel as if you are inclined to feel for me in a similar manner to that which I feel towards you – and I do believe I have a sixth sense for these things – I don't want to be wrong. If I were to be wrong it would truly be the crushing blow to my entire being and I'm not too sure I could take it. The other day? That wasn't just another hug, that was basically the embrace of a lifetime for me,' just didn't seem like the right thing to say. Quinn would likely freeze up and stare at Rachel and everything between them would be awkward because Rachel was too into her own emotions to have recalled any of Quinn's own actions. Had she tried to pull away? No. Quinn had most definitely placed her hands on Rachel's shoulders and had taken a peek at her soul. Rachel remembered how time had pushed away, how a ball of air had condensed around them, how she'd felt weightless. How Quinn had never broken eye contact.

There was no room for misreading; Quinn had to feel the same. She simply _had _to.

"Oh. Is it too much to ask why? I'm just… curious," Quinn ventured.

Rachel blinked. How to respond? She couldn't very well admit the truth because, really, she had just gone over that. She didn't want to tell Quinn a flat out lie because it was her mission never to tell a lie to Quinn. Not ever again. She could use something about work, but it was stretching the truth too much for her own liking. A slight ache from her shoulder warned Rachel that her body didn't like this half-arched position she was maintaining in the doorway.

Straightening up, Rachel walked back into the bedroom and yanked open a drawer. She grabbed the first V-neck she saw and, after ripping off her tank top, pulled it over her head. Exchanging her sweatpants for some black skinny jeans, she smoothed her clothes over before returning to the kitchen to answer Quinn's question. At least her fashion sense had changed since high school, though she did have some argyle stocked in the back of her closet for some fond memories.

Quinn sat at the table with an unreadable expression; probably because she herself didn't know what she was feeling at the moment.

"She mentioned marriage sometime over a month ago. Though she wasn't asking to get married – far from it – I freaked out a tiny bit. The question really put things into perspective for me and I realized that, hey, in a few years I could very well get married. It scared me," the brunette admitted as she sat down across from Quinn. She noticed, wearily, that they were in the same position she and Jenna had been in the other day, only Rachel was in Jenna's spot this time.

"So you asked her to move out?" Quinn looked up and gave Rachel a look.

"We agreed upon it, yes."

The succinctness of Rachel's response blared big red warning signs in Quinn's mind.

"Anything to do with Finn?"

Rachel paused in her own mind. She hadn't really thought about Finn too much of late. He was the past and would always remain the past. She _had_ almost married him and, thinking back to that moment in time, Rachel shuddered. As all young people do, she had thought she understood so much; she had thought that she knew it all. The idiocy of her own actions really did astound her. How had she honestly believed at one point that Finn and her were meant to be? He had loved her and, yes, she had loved him, but they would never have worked. Both of them were too involved in themselves to be able to really maintain any semblance of a relationship. They would've been great at first, then they would have suffered from the distance of Finn trying to redeem his father, and eventually all that would have kept them together was the idea of what they once were; the refusal to admit failure.

Realizing the truth, Rachel nodded her head slightly.

"It hadn't been at the time—not consciously. There was much more to it, but I guess he was part of it. I knew she didn't want to get married right then and there, or even in a year, but the word itself threw me off. Obviously she had thought about it and I hadn't, not even in passing. It's just… I knew Finn for _three years_ before he asked and, while we were much younger then, it didn't change the fact that even three years of co-existence wasn't enough to make it work."

"That's reasonable, I would say. What other things were involved, though?"

Rachel warily wondered if Quinn had taken any psychology classes in school because she was beginning to feel analyzed. Then again, it might just have been that her heart was picking up pace because Quinn was looking at her intensely and her eyes had brightened to that shade that reminded her of autumn leaves. The green had all but vanished and was replaced by various shades of orange, yellow, and gold swirling around like leaves caught in a whirlwind.

'What other things were different? Well, you weren't there, first off. You weren't there to give me advice, whether I'd heed it or not. You weren't there to give me a push when Jenna would inevitably ask me. You weren't there to fake a smile and tell me it sounded like a great idea for us to vacation somewhere romantic. You weren't there to tell me that you'd be ecstatic to be my bridesmaid. You weren't there to show up at the wedding that would surely be more elaborate – because I'm still as dramatic as ever when necessary – than the Queen of England's. But mostly, you weren't there to be my friend and look me in the eyes and tell me I couldn't marry Jenna because you loved me.'

That's what Rachel wanted to say. Oh, how she wanted to say it more than anything in the world. Instead, she went with something touching but not so theatrical.

"I didn't have my best friend by my side to knock some sense into me when necessary." She gave Quinn a rueful smile that was returned with a watery-eyed stare.

"Same deal with Finn, you know. I couldn't get married without you by my side."

She should really have stopped talking right then because Quinn had arrived excited, then she had been concerned after seeing Rachel's appearance, after she had seemed curious about Rachel's life, and finally she was attacked by undulations of nostalgia so very effective that tears were rolling down her cheeks. Quinn didn't look sad as much as she looked reflective. It was as if she was imagining what life would have been like had she remained in Rachel's life. Gold eyes glinted and finally a soft, mossy green made its appearance.

"Well, you'll regret that when you find me attached to you by the hip just like in college," the blonde teased.

Rachel didn't think she'd be regretting anything anytime soon. Except, maybe she'd regret not pulling Quinn into her body and holding her tight enough that the blonde would have no chance of escape.

"Oh, no. That would just be dreadful," brown eyes rolled but full lips smiled, earning Rachel a flick right between her eyebrows.

"Hey!" Rachel yipped as Quinn jumped up from her chair and ran out of the apartment. Scrambling after her friend, the smaller woman closed the door and felt something click. It wasn't the latch in the doorknob.

* * *

"So where are we going anyway?" Rachel huffed after being forced to follow in Quinn's largely-spaced footsteps. Really, she was used to walking fast – this was New York, after all – but Quinn was tall enough that the pace she set was just a bit too much.

Quinn decided at that moment to stop walking and she turned around. As it was, Rachel wasn't prepared for the abrupt stop and she crashed right into the blonde. Laughing, Quinn grabbed onto Rachel to prevent her from falling. A tiny bit of her might have done it on purpose just to hold Rachel a little closer than normal.

"If you don't get yourself stampeded by the crowds we are headed to… here!" Rachel followed Quinn's gaze to café-looking area.

"And that is…?" she gave Quinn a look.

"A Thai food place. I'm surprised you haven't been here before considering the fact that it's pretty up there on A Vegan's Guide to Tasteful Eating," Quinn started walking towards the place, grabbing Rachel's hand to drag her from behind.

"Is that a book?" Rachel didn't really care whether or not it was; no, there was a warm, cream-colored hand attached to hers. The apocalypse could have begun at that very moment and Rachel wouldn't have noticed. Blood rushed to her fingers in an effort to supply whatever was needed to feel every centimeter of the contact point.

_Oh, god, she's going to feel my pulse skyrocket,_ the diva panicked. The heat from Quinn's hand burned into tan skin, leaving an imaginary scar for only Rachel to know of for the rest of her life. There was no doubt in her mind that she would forever have the memory of the image imprinted in her psyche.

"No," Quinn turned to smile widely. "But it should be." If it wasn't going to be the hand-holding, that smile was going to be the death of her.

* * *

After walking in, Rachel found that not only was there was a satisfactory amount of customers eating at tables, but the restaurant was also neatly decorated. It appeared that the owner had gone for the simplistic, artistic, and sophisticated way of decoration. Tables were lined down the wall with one half of the table facing a booth and the other half had chairs seated in front of them. The lights above each table were intricately designed and the bulb was encased by a thin, papery material. The place had an earthy, easy-going feel to it and Rachel saw it as a great place to go for a date.

A date. She shook her head; she should not be thinking about being in a cozy restaurant with Quinn. Snapping her attention back to the reason they were here in the first place, Rachel found Quinn walking towards the front counter of the eatery.

"For Quinn," the blonde told the woman at the counter. The waitress-lady was a darker woman with really wild hair and Rachel found that it surprisingly worked for her. It kind of made her look exotic. Noting that the woman's name was Areva, Rachel watched in confusion as she turned to search for something. When Areva finally turned back with a large bag in her hand Rachel spoke her questioning thoughts.

"Did you already order food?" she addressed to Quinn who at least managed to look guilty.

"I got something I figured you'd like," she admitted nervously. This had been an uncertain part of her plan this morning. "If you don't, just in case, I prepared by getting a few things. I imagine you'll like _some_thing in here," she emphasized the last sentence by waving the bag in front of Rachel's face.

"I'm sure that whatever you ordered will be acceptable," Rachel bit her lip.

"But?" Quinn sensed the hesitation in the singer's voice.

"You just paid for all of it and I feel bad. And where are we eating? That's a to-go bag," she said pointedly.

"My apartment," Quinn started walking out of the restaurant after thanking Areva. "It's actually only one block away from here."

"Oh." Rachel wanted to have a spaz attack. Sure, Quinn had been in Rachel's apartment, but only in the kitchen. Rachel figured that Quinn would show her around her own apartment more, maybe force her to talk to Madison, who would surely be over. She remembered hearing they lived together. Rachel cringed thinking that Madison would probably be half-naked or something ridiculous like that, looking amazing. Just for the last four days, Rachel actually managed to forget that Madison existed. It hit her hard realizing that even though she was available for Quinn, Quinn wasn't available for her. Throat feeling thick, she continued, "But you still paid."

Quinn threw a dry look her way before replying, "Yes, but I'm using you for cheap labor so it's okay."

"Labor?" Rachel's eyes narrowed.

"I haven't exactly finished moving in yet."

* * *

Rachel looked absolutely boggled the moment she stepped into Quinn's apartment. First, there were boxes everywhere. Second, half of the boxes were open and objects were half-poured out of them; it looked like box-vomit. Third, there was very little furniture. Forth, it was abnormally chilly in the apartment.

"How long has it looked like this?" Each box looked scratched at, as if Quinn had struggled to open all of them in an attempt to find something that she had needed in that moment.

Quinn chewed her lip before responding with an, "A while." She didn't want to admit to herself nor to Rachel just exactly how many days it had been; it had been too many to acknowledge without shame. Besides, she usually just went over to Santana's if she really needed anything.

Proving yet again how much of a diva she could be, Rachel let out a disbelieving puff of air before reaching to tie her hair up better.

"Let's get to work then because this is going to take a while," she stated as she walked over to the largest box.

"Rach, that one's bigger than you," Quinn walked to the kitchen area to set the food down on the built-in table. "At least work on a smaller one."

Sticking her tongue out, Rachel moved over to a smaller box that had yet to be opened. Pulling the flaps up, she was greeted with the sight of a worn Yale sweater.

It _was _cold in the apartment.

Not taking a moment to second guess herself, Rachel tossed the grey hoodie over her shoulder and settled into its surprising softness. Worn sweaters were the best because they fit comfortably and they still kept the wearer warm. Also, that particular sweater smelled like Quinn and Rachel may or may not have breathed in the wonderful scent of vanilla that was apparently forever imprinted into the hoodie.

Going back to the box, Rachel found that it was completely full of clothes so she pushed it to the bedroom area. The next box she found stored cups and bowls and dishes and the like so she ended up dragging that into the kitchen area where Quinn was setting up the meal. Rachel was unsurprised to find that Quinn had already unpacked a few glasses as the box she had moved into the kitchen had been open to begin with.

"Lemonade?" she asked as she grabbed the glass that Quinn had placed by her plate.

Quinn turned to say 'Yes' but paused to do a double-take. "Nice sweater," she smirked.

"Why thank you. I graduated top of my class, you know," Rachel placed her glass down and walked out of the room arrogantly. Quinn just watched her exit, incredulous.

When her shock subsided, Quinn walked into the living room area to find Rachel kneeling next to yet another box. The brunette ignored her entrance and instead started to work on pulling out the contents of the box. From the pillow and small blanket that was halfway out, Quinn assumed that that was the "sleeping" box. Which meant that her stuffed animal might be in there, which would be slightly embarrassing.

"I am not snobby, but I did graduate top of my class, thank you very much," the blonde crossed her arms as she leaned against the large box that Rachel had initially wanted to start with.

"Of course you did," Rachel rolled her eyes. "If Quinn Fabray wants something, it just happens. I feel like that's how your life works. It's annoying, really," she teased at the end.

_I like you in my sweater and I want you in it more often, so will that happen then? _Quinn wanted to say, but couldn't.

"Says Miss Broadway," Quinn countered instead, causing Rachel to shut up momentarily.

"Not _everything_ works out in my favor, though. Broadway was only one goal."

There was a pause in the conversation as Rachel continued to yank on the blanket until it eventually came free of the box. Rachel's eyes then widened for a second before a smile emerged on her lips. Gently, she reached into the box and pulled out the stuffed lamb that had captivated her as if in reverence.

"You still have Ruthie?"

Quinn had already accepted the flush that blanketed her face the moment she knew Rachel would find the raggedy animal. She was slightly self-conscious of the old thing, and yet she was also prideful of it.

"Of course," she mumbled before settling herself across from Rachel, knees placed at the opposite end of the box. "I couldn't get rid of her even if I wanted."

"And did you? Want to, I mean?" Rachel heard the potential hurt in her own voice. She had given Ruthie to Quinn as a gift so long ago that she wasn't even quite sure what the occasion had been. Still, she felt her chest tighten painfully as she waited for the answer.

"For a few days I debated it, but in the end it was just one of those things I couldn't part with."

The pair had reached a standstill. Both women knew what was going to come next; it was just that neither of them wanted to be the first to take the step.

"Why'd you disappear?" Rachel decided to take the plunge.

Taking a deep breath, Quinn braced herself for the onslaught of questions she figured was to come once she answered that first one. She decided that if she was going to bear her heart open for Rachel – because bear it she would, absolutely no holding back – then she was going to make the smaller woman work for it. The moment Rachel had made clear that she wanted to have the talk Quinn knew she would tell the truth.

"You didn't believe me because you didn't trust me," she started off simple.

"Yes, but it was a hard decision to make and you gave me all of five seconds, Quinn. Had you not vanished as if it was your job, I would have come to you only days later and this whole awkward separation would have been only a blip. Not that I blame you, I just don't understand why that particular situation affected you so much. Wasn't it just the week before that we had one of the best weekends ever?"

Quinn knew what she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure of what she _should _say. Everything Rachel said was true, and Quinn had said the same to herself at different points in her career.

"You dated her for so little time compared to how long we had known each other at that point, Rachel. You knew that I wouldn't lie to you, ever, and yet you chose her word over mine," Quinn looked down into her palms and started to play with her fingers. "It would've been only a blip to_ you_, yes, but in the back of _my_ mind those doubts would've just grown deeper every day until one day I would've just…"

Quinn looked up and felt her entire soul being sucked into deep brown portals; Rachel was staring at her with the most sincere of expressions, her heart on her sleeve. She appeared so open, so willing to listen. So willing to accept anything that Quinn had to say.

"Would've what?" she whispered.

"Believed you hated me."

That innocent, angelic expression on Rachel's face shifted, morphed into one of such contrast that Quinn almost laughed at the theatricality of it. The Broadway star looked aghast that such a fear had ever harvested itself inside of Quinn's thoughts.

"I could never hate you." It was just a sentence, that was all. Just a few words to express feelings that Rachel couldn't truly ever put into a phrase of any real substance. How could she possibly hate someone so perfect? Was it even feasible for someone to hate Quinn for a reason outside of jealousy? Rachel felt as if she was on stage singing and one of the dancers slipped and landed on her. The wind was knocked out of her and her head felt light—Quinn had feared that she would _hate_ her? What reason was there for _that?_ "What reason have you given me to hate you?"

Quinn wanted to roll her eyes and sarcastically bite, "Have you had an amnesia-inducing accident in the last few years or have you just forgotten high school on purpose?" but she didn't because she knew that Rachel had long since gotten over all of that. No, instead she allowed her shoulders to fall and she leaned back.

"Every night I would go to sleep and pray that you would break up with Avery, you know. I would hope, and wish, and dream of her messing up. It was petty, but it happened. I guess that's why they say 'be careful what you wish for'; it's for good reason."

"I'm confused," Rachel wasn't sure where Quinn was going with this. She knew that Quinn never got along perfectly with Avery but she hadn't known how strong Quinn's vehemence for the girl was. Looking back, it was for good reason, Rachel resolved. "Why would I hate you for that?"

"Let's eat before the food gets cold, please?"

Normally, Rachel would have argued with her friend. She would have insisted that Quinn tell her everything right then and there. However, this time Rachel saw the strain in those eyes and decided that it could wait an hour or two. So she followed Quinn into the kitchen, groaning a little bit at the effort it took to stand up. Fortunately, Quinn offered her a hand and that made it a little easier.

* * *

The food was actually quite delicious and it left Rachel both impressed and full considering Quinn had bought a _lot_ of it. The singer had ended up falling in love with all the different dishes and thus she stole most of Quinn's portion.

"Where does it all _go,_" the blonde shook her head in disbelief as she moved all of the containers to the counter.

"Oh, hush. Like you don't have an amazing body," Rachel slipped out and proceeded to blush. Quinn may not know that Jenna had ended their relationship but that didn't mean that Rachel was at liberty to say such things. Especially since, well, Madison was Quinn's girlfriend.

"Yes," Quinn brushed the compliment aside for fear of reading too much into it, "but I don't eat like… well like _that."_

"Being on Broadway requires intensive work on my part," Rachel crossed her arms in indignation, "and work means I need energy. What exactly are you implying anyway, Miss Quinn Fabray?"

"That you eat like a pig," she deadpanned, eyebrow arched.

"Quinn!" Rachel's jaw dropped.

"I call it like I see it, piggy," the blonde said cheekily. "But that was your pay so let's go do work," she added before scampering off to the living room and hiding behind a box.

"Really? How old are you, Quinn?"" Rachel's voice carried over as she attempted to chase the writer. "I mean—_oh, owwww,_" the smaller woman's admonishment was cut short after the sound of a _thump_ and the slight movement of a box. "My toe!" she pouted before the noise of cascading sheets of paper filled the room.

Quinn repressed a giggle but not an eye roll as she removed herself from her poorly designated hiding spot. Her giddiness vanished the moment she saw Rachel's face, however. The star had fallen to her knees and her face looked pale, her arms hung loosely at her sides. The hard _thud_ of bone against wooden floor had not gone unnoticed by the blonde and she just knew that Rachel would have bruises later if they hadn't already made themselves apparent.

"Rach?" Quinn feared that speaking would shatter whatever tension had made itself present.

Instead of responding, Rachel reached down to the source of the original clatter and picked up a photograph.

_Sheets of paper,_ Quinn realized. _Pictures._

This was not good, not good at all. Quinn felt adrenaline rush through her system as she took in the scene. The box that Rachel had knocked into was the one that held all of Quinn's favorite mementos. One particular item in that category was a bundle of pictures from college, mostly involving Rachel and Quinn.

Taking a few steps closer, Quinn saw that it was _that _picture. The one that Julie had taken. The one that Rachel had never seen. The one that tore Quinn's heart open more efficiently than any paring knife ever could.

"_Julie had taken the picture early Sunday morning. It was of Quinn and Rachel cuddled together, Rachel turned towards Quinn, Quinn's arms wrapped around her friend. Rachel was burrowed into Quinn, so much so that it seemed impossible for her to be any closer. Her face was hidden by her own hair as well as Quinn's, but Quinn's face was easily seen. Her eyes were squinting at her roommate who was just capturing the "Kodak moment" as she liked to say."_

To anyone who didn't know the pair, the embrace would have appeared to be that of one shared by lovers. Why Quinn had kept the picture Rachel didn't know, but she was aware of the constricting of her throat, the burning of her eyes, and the beating of her heart.

Finally looking up, Rachel was shocked to find that Quinn had fallen to her own knees and was looking at her with a guarded expression. Quinn searched Rachel's eyes for that one emotion she needed to see and she found it after only a moment.

"You asked why," she breathed, "and my answer is that I left because I loved you so much that it hurt."

Had Rachel been breathing previously, her breath would have hitched. As it was, she hadn't been and so she just kept her gaze level with Quinn's. Rachel could not understand the feeling in her body, but she could compare it to being young.

As a child, she had refused to listen to her parents about not spinning around. In rebellion, Rachel had spun and spun and had continued to spin until she literally collapsed to the ground in dizziness. She had laid there for an hour in the hot sun, sweating and nauseous, waiting for her brain to right itself. At one point, she opened her eyes and the haziness of the sun mocked her in all of its beauty.

She felt as if that whole hour of her childhood had just happened now, in only a few compacted seconds. She felt as if Quinn was that sun, beaming, radiating brilliance.

She swallowed and blinked, tears pooling and trekking down her face.

"I loved you so, so much, Rach," the words danced around brown tresses of hair. "And I still do."

Inhaling the moment, Quinn started to lean forward because Rachel's breath had finally hitched and her eyes begged for something that only Quinn could give her. The blonde couldn't do what she wanted to do most, however. She couldn't bring her lips to Rachel's because if she did then she would wake up and find out that all of this had been a dream. She put herself out there for Rachel, admitted her feelings. She needed Rachel to close that distance, needed her to _want _to close the distance.

And Rachel didn't disappoint.


	24. Chapter 24

In high school when everyone was young and immature, Rachel had thought she was superior to her peers. She had taken on the role of leader as she had been sure that she deserved the title.

At that moment in time, maybe she had.

Maybe if the whole Finn-Quinn-Rachel debacle was disregarded, Rachel would have been considered to be an independent young woman. She had to be strong, had to persevere if she was met with a slushy facial each and every day, right? She had to have a higher sense of maturity to not wish revenge on her peers, too.

Yet, she "cheated" on her boyfriend, she fawned over another girl's boyfriend (who she then basically stole and, going back to the first point, she cheated on him), she didn't believe her very best friend when her trust was what the blonde needed the most, and she emotionally cheated on her loving girlfriend later in life.

So, Rachel wasn't perfect. She could say she had done things that she had always said she wouldn't. She could - and had - lost games of Never Have I Ever. To be redundant, she wasn't perfect.

Did perfect even exist though? Really?

To answer that, Rachel came down from the stars and allowed herself to feel her heart. To feel her pulse beat quickly as blood pumped through her system in an effort to keep her alive.

It took quite the effort, too, seeing as Quinn's lips were killing her.

There had never been a moment in Rachel's life when she had felt so… light. Just holding Quinn had made her feel whole, complete, balanced. Kissing Quinn…

Rachel felt weightless. In all honesty, she couldn't even tell if she had a body. What were arms? Legs? She knew what lips were; perfection.

Perfection did exist, in the form of one Quinn Fabray's lips.

The moment Quinn had admitted her feelings Rachel's heart had swollen to the point where she was actually concerned that she'd have a heart attack. As Quinn had leaned in, stopping to wait for Rachel to close the distance, the brunette had fallen. She had been falling for years now, both unconsciously and consciously. Now, however, she had reached that terminal point and she had fallen hard.

Her whole life came into perspective in that solitary moment; if she couldn't be with Quinn then she really didn't know if she wanted to _be_. Not a single hesitant thought burrowed its way through Rachel's mind and she had easily completed Quinn's unspoken request.

At first, Rachel had just lightly pressed against the soft pink flesh but Quinn had responded immediately. Breath mingled as the blonde had taken to parting occasionally as if she was unable to believe that this was real. At one point, Rachel couldn't take the pausing anymore; she wanted more. She needed everything. So she took Quinn's lips between her teeth and gently pushed her shoulders back once she realized that she did indeed have a body. There was a soft _thud _as Quinn's back made contact with the floor accompanied by soft moan as Rachel continued to toy with Quinn's bottom lip. Pale arms came to wrap themselves around a tiny waist as they also pulled Rachel closer.

Pausing, Rachel connected gazes with Quinn in silent communication.

_Madison, _Rachel's eyes spoke.

_Jenna,_ Quinn countered.

_You, _they agreed.

Rachel felt slightly guilty knowing that she wasn't cheating on Jenna while Quinn was cheating on Madison. Not guilty enough to stop, but still. Quinn was feeling similar, seeing as neither knew that the other was actually single.

As Rachel's lips found Quinn's pulse point, the blonde let out a moan so sensual that Rachel felt her patience thin. She didn't know what was going to happen in a few minutes – how far they would take things – but she was prepared to go all the way. And while in her mind she wanted to take forever, she wasn't sure if she could hold anything back with Quinn below her. She had never felt so sexually charged in her life.

To prevent things from escalating too fast due to Quinn's sound effects, Rachel moved back to those full lips she loved so much. Kissing Quinn was the polar opposite of kissing Jenna and the brunette couldn't have been more content; Jenna usually took control and, while it was still pleasant, Rachel had never been instantly turned on from a mere kiss. Right now, though? Rachel was _on fire._

Everything tingled. Quinn's tongue met Rachel's with a fluidity, a flow. A dance; A completely harmonious dance. Hands were moving everywhere, but not with an urgency. No, Rachel's hands slowly made a path up Quinn's sides, over her shoulders, down her arms, and back up until they laid claim on the soft skin of her cheeks. Bracing herself on her knees, Rachel continued to kiss Quinn with every ounce of passion she could muster.

Quinn's own hands had found a home on Rachel's lower back and they were slowly moving south, bringing Rachel's hips closer and closer to her stomach. The diva was beginning to lightly grind those hips as the fire in her chest began to move lower in her body.

Realizing that A) she was making out with Quinn and B) they had too many clothes on, Rachel pulled away from her newfound heaven to lean on her arms which were now placed on either side of Quinn's head.

"What?" Quinn asked confused as to why Rachel had stopped.

While she could possibly ruin the moment with this news, Rachel had been unable to step over the guilt of knowing that Quinn wasn't available and she was. She didn't want Quinn to find out after and hate her.

"I'm not…it's just… Jenna…"

Quinn couldn't prevent the disappointment, the pain, the _ache_ that filled her chest. Rachel wouldn't continue, their moment was about to be over. Her eyes began to sting as she felt the water begin to pool.

"We're over. She… we ended it. And I can't…" Quinn didn't hear what Rachel was going to say after that because she was too busy flipping the smaller girl over to pay attention to such trivial things. Positions swapped, Quinn began her own exploration of Rachel's body. Starting at Rachel's lips, she moved to her jaw, then her ear, back down to her neck and then she returned Rachel's mark right over her pulse point. The sharp intake of breath was enough to let Quinn know that Rachel was okay with the new positions they found themselves in.

"Quinn…" Rachel whined, though it took every bit of willpower she had.

"Hmm?" the blonde murmured into tan flesh as her lips wandered over Rachel's collarbone.

"Y-you're seeing, oh god, Madison."

Quinn smiled against Rachel's lips as she trailed her hands under the sweater Rachel had stolen.

"No, I'm not."

"Oh."

With that, words were done. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and slightly lifted herself up so that Quinn could take the – what was now a hindrance of a – sweater off of her, along with her shirt. The floor was cool and, as Rachel's bare back laid against it, goose bumps made an appearance all over her body.

Teasing Rachel's shoulder with her teeth, Quinn grazed her hands over a flat stomach. Her fingertips just barely brushed breasts that were straining against a lace bra. A low whine echoed from Rachel's throat and Quinn felt just a little bit smug.

Small hands curled themselves into blonde locks and Rachel arched her back as Quinn's mouth found its way closer and closer to where Rachel wanted it in that moment. Unlinking the bra clasp with a practiced hand, Quinn removed the garment slowly and watched as Rachel's breath hitched when the cold air hit her full blast.

Flicking the cloth to the side, Quinn continued to tease Rachel by putting her mouth on every inch of skin that wasn't where the singer needed it most.

"Quiinnn," Rachel begged after a few minutes, trying to guide the blonde by pushing her head down from her neck. Smiling at the way Rachel was squirming Quinn moved one thumb over a stiff bud and flicked before taking the other in her mouth. Having been waiting for contact for much too long, Rachel moaned louder than either woman expected and her back arched even further. Pushing her hips down, Quinn nipped at the bud in her mouth before moving to the other one and blowing on it.

Rachel was sure she was going to die.

"Too many clothes," she managed to gasp out. Instantly, Quinn paused to sit up and pull off her own top. If Rachel believed in humans spontaneously combusting, she was sure that she'd be a prime example.

"Better?" Quinn husked in her ear as she took a lobe between her teeth.

"Almost," Rachel returned as she reached around to unclasp Quinn's own bra. Once the cloth was gone and Quinn had readjusted herself to be between the dancer's legs, Rachel could not find words to describe the feeling of being chest to chest with Quinn. She dug her nails into the perfectly smooth expanse of Quinn's back and decided that not everything necessarily needed words. She could not use words with Quinn all day and she'd be perfectly content.

Rachel wrapped her legs around Quinn's waist and tightened her hold on her back as Quinn began to slowly grind her hips into Rachel's. Both women sighed at the friction the contact provided and decided to just _feel _for a moment.

"I love you, too."

Quinn's heart constricted at the words but before she could say anything she heard the door burst open.

"Quinn Fabray, do you have any idea—"

The blonde had never been so grateful for her laziness as the boxes around her prevented the newcomer from witnessing the event taking place below her. Rachel had frozen in place and she felt solid as a rock.

"Santana! Get. Out. Now."

"Woah, the last thing I need right now, blondie, is your bit—"

"I SAID OUT!"

"Where are you anyway?" the Latina's voice came closer.

"SANTANA! LEAVE!"

"You act like you're finally boning the midge or something. Calm your tits, I just wanted to tell you that the walls here are thin and that your self-loving is ruining the mood for me and Britts."

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut and refused to meet Rachel's – what was no doubt curious – gaze.

Peeking her head over the box, Quinn took a deep breath and said, "Santana. If you don't leave right now, I will kill you." She tried to conceal her toplessness as best as possible.

Santana made a weird face before her eyes widened and Quinn knew it was because Rachel had moved beside her.

"It's hard to bone someone when your friend is being a cock-block," the diva said wryly.

Santana's mouth flopped open and she looked ridiculous enough that Quinn felt the anger seep out of her. A choking noise could be heard and Rachel giggled, fucking _giggled, _at Santana's incredulousness.

"Bye, Santana," Quinn smirked realizing that Rachel was purposely speaking in a manner more inclined to Santana in an attempt to purposely boggle the Latina. Turning to Rachel, Quinn pushed her back down.

"San, did you tell Quinn that her sexy time with herself is really loud?" Quinn's purpose was interrupted again.

"S? Are you okay?" Brittany sounded worried.

Rachel released a breath and a mumbled, "_Damn,"_ before reaching over to grab her shirt and the Yale hoodie. Her bra was too far away to bother with.

"She's just fine Brittany," the brunette stood dusted herself off much to Quinn's dismay.

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" the tall blonde looked confused as she looked from Santana to Rachel.

"Me. Until you two showed up," Quinn sighed.

* * *

**So here's the thing: I hate when it takes an author forever to update, especially when I really love the story. However, I can now completely understand them. Especially since half of the stories I'm following updated yesterday. Looks like I'm not the only one on Fall Break. **

**I feel awful about how long this took, but here it is. It's short and it's not exactly what I originally intended. I take back what I said about 30+ chapters. We're looking at about... I've no idea. I have to reread this entire story again and see where I want to go. Give me an idea? Maybe if someone gives me an idea I really like I'll be able to elongate this story. If not, that's cool too. I only have a few more dramatic moments left and I'm running on empty.**

**I hope you weren't super disappointed by this chapter. I've never written smut before so I'm nervous, so this is kind of my trial run. Review if you forgive me for taking so long? **

**I'm already starting another story and I've a one-shot mostly written. My next long story I plan on writing episode by episode up till season 3 (because my idea doesn't work properly with the new season...)**

**Anywho, I ramble a lot and I get picked on so I'll just ask. I have two stories in mind; the one I just described and a completely different one. Which do you want to see next:**

**A) The episode by episode one in which Rachel and Quinn have been acting the whole time and are secretly (more than) friends *(this summary sucks but I'm slightly afraid someone will take my idea?)**

**or B) SUPERPOWERS. I love sci-fi...**

**So let me know. Or if you want me to do both at once, both is an option.**


	25. Chapter 25

"So, Quincy, my friend, when did _that_ happen?" Santana waved her hand over the area where she had previously walked in on the action. While Quinn was annoyed, and more than a little sexually frustrated, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. She was just glad that Santana had waited for Rachel to leave before saying anything. Granted, it might have only been because she was too shocked to formulate a sassy remark, but still.

"Just a few moments ago; you're the worst friend ever." Really, Quinn was amazed that it truly had only been a few moments ago that she had had Rachel beneath her. Part of Quinn was glad for the interruption, though, because floor sex wasn't what she had planned for Rachel. Not at first, anyway. Second, maybe, if everything worked out.

Santana ran her tongue over her teeth and glared at her blonde friend.

"She had to leave for her musical anyway," the Latina eventually spoke, waving her hand in a dismissing manner. Quinn wanted to argue, but it was true.

The blonde had been extremely grateful that Rachel had smoothed over her exit, avoiding all awkwardness. Okay, most awkwardness, anyway. Quinn hadn't been sure how to say goodbye to her; a kiss, a hug, a handshake? Hence why Rachel taking control and giving her a light kiss before running out sort of made her love the woman a little more. The fact that she also stuck her tongue out at Santana helped a little, too.

"Whatever, S. You still suck."

* * *

_Why did I leave my bra on Quinn's floor? Thank Barbra I have a spare in my dressing room because dancing without a bra is never a good thing._

Rachel was almost to her dressing room when her understudy almost ran into her.

"Oh! You're back!" It sounded happy enough but Rachel knew the girl was likely disappointed knowing that she wouldn't be playing Rachel's part if Rachel herself was here.

"Well I couldn't very well miss one of the last shows. I heard you did great."

"Really?" the girl beamed, "You heard that?"

"From the director himself, promise," and it was true. When Rachel had called earlier to tell him she'd be back he had said as much. Had she not been in such a good mood from her encounter with Quinn, she might have found herself to be a tad jealous. Regardless, Rachel continued her path to her room leaving the girl to float on her personal cloud nine.

Opening the door felt really odd to her as it seemed as if it had been years instead of a mere few days since last she'd been in there.

_Time to get this show on the road._

* * *

"Did you two even talk or did you just jump each other?" Santana blew on the coffee that she held in her hand. Quinn had wanted to go for a walk so there the two shortly after found themselves walking the streets of New York.

"We talked, I guess. Not in detail, I don't think."

"What does _that _mean, Q? Did you mention Avery or the book at all?" she looked incredulous.

Quinn bit her lip. "The book didn't come up, no. We talked a bit about Avery."

"Has she not made the connection yet? It's going to be a movie, Q, she needs to know," Santana stuck her hand out and stopped the blonde in her path. The people walking near the pair shuffled around them with mumbled, and a few not so mumbled, curses.

"I'm getting there, Santana, okay? I'll bring it up next time I see her. Maybe," she tried to push through her friend which only caused Santana to step in front of her instead.

"No, Fabgay. No 'maybe'. The midge is my friend, too. And Britt's. You need to tell her before some news story does and she realizes that part of her life was written down to be sold. She might take it differently than for what it is."

Quinn looked down at her feet like a scolded child as Santana added, "And I doubt Rachel will appreciate you telling her the truth a_fter _you've already been knuckle-deep." Quinn, used to Santana's crassness by now, just looked further reprimanded. She preferred to ignore her problems, like she did so often with Madison, but knew she couldn't do the same with Rachel.

"It premieres the day after her show ends, which is in a few days. You need to tell her before then, Quinn," Santana broke through her thoughts.

"I know, Santana. Okay?" Quinn snapped a bit. "I already planned on asking her to go, I just haven't gotten to the point where the words actually pour out of my mouth."

"Good," the Latina nodded as she stepped out of Quinn's path. The two began walking again, this time in silence.

Waiting for the perfect moment, Santana couldn't hold it back anymore.

"So, I've gotta ask; How'd it feel to be so close and yet so far away from banging the midge?" Just as she'd anticipated, Quinn practically choked on her own drink and ended up spitting/coughing it out.

"Cute, Q, real cute," she smirked.

"I hate you."

* * *

With the night's show over, Rachel found herself relishing in the fact that she only had three shows left. As much as she loved to perform, she felt that she needed some personal time. Granted, she had just taken a few days off, but she had spent the entirety of the break moping about her apartment. Well, not even; she hadn't moved enough for it to be considered moping.

Shaking her head of such thoughts, Rachel meant to continue the process of removing her stage makeup before she was distracted by the sound of her phone going off. She rolled her eyes at the song Quinn had apparently programmed into her phone when she wasn't looking.

"Kelly Clarkson, really Quinn?" she answered the call with a bemused smile. The light chuckle she heard on the other end sent her heart fluttering.

"Is that why it took you so long to answer? You just _had_ to hear how long it recorded for, right?" Rachel imagined Quinn to be playfully rolling her eyes, knowing it was true.

Rachel scoffed, "I merely waited to see if the part of the song you picked was selected for a reason." She continued wiping the wet cloth under her right eye before moving it to the other side of her face.

"And what did you determine?" Quinn's voice hummed in reply.

"That we should go out tomorrow. On a date. Preferably one that involves witnesses so as not to repeat the incident that occurred earlier today," the diva stated, finishing with the removal process.

Quinn took in a sharp breath at the word date; she was still under the belief that the entire day had been a dream. Then the word 'incident' made its way into her mind and she gasped dramatically before smiling. "I'm behind you a hundred percent, I'm glad you realized the error of your ways," she tried to hide the grin even though she knew Rachel couldn't see her.

Rachel panicked for a moment; she had only been joking. The word incident implied that it was unintentional, but Quinn had admitted that she loved her, right? Wait, what did she mean by 'the error of _your_ ways'? Hadn't they both participated? Before she could freak out too long, her dressing room door opened after a slight knock sounded, thus interrupting her thoughts.

"I mean, really, you basically inhaled that meal. Your stomach must be synonymous with 'black hole'. At least in public you'll be shamed into eating slower, and much less," Quinn smirked from the doorway as she ended the call and placed her phone in her back pocket.

"Quinn!" Rachel yelped, dropping her phone onto the top of her vanity desk. "It's quite rude to enter a room before being invited in! I very well could have been changing, you know," she glared, crossing her arms.

"I was banking on that, actually," the blonde's eyes twinkled as she leaned against the now closed door.

"Quinn!" Rachel squeaked again, cheeks slightly pink.

"You're kind of cute when you're flustered," Quinn admitted as she moved to plop onto the small couch that resided to her right.

"I'm kind of cute _always_, Miss. Fabray," she tilted her chin up.

"And ever so modest as well, _Miss. Berry,_" came the reply as Quinn waved her arms in grandeur when referring to Rachel. Double checking to make sure that most of the makeup was indeed removed, Rachel walked over to Quinn and, with a level of comfort built off years of friendship (whether or not they were consecutive), splayed herself right over the blonde.

"This couch is extremely lumpy," she giggled.

"Hey, I take insult from that. I am not _lumpy._"

Unhindered, Rachel continued, "I mean, _really._ Is it too much to ask for a couch that doesn't feel like I'm lying on a pile of rocks?" She shifted as if to prove the point that she was uncomfortable. Just as she was about to retort, the blonde took in a sharp breath when she felt Rachel's knee hit a particular area.

"Maybe you should try turning the cushions over," she husked instead as she flipped herself over so that she was now on top of Rachel instead of the other way around. "I hear that works sometimes." Rachel's breath caught in her throat. As she felt the fire simmer in her veins, she scolded herself for apparently having the hormones of a thirteen year old boy.

"I… uh…" she swallowed. Quinn was looking down at her and her pupils seemed to be dilating by the second.

"Yes?" hazel eyes teased.

"Shower. I have to shower," she squirmed her way out from under her – what? Girlfriend? Best friend? Kinda more than friends but not exactly girlfriend?

Quinn bit her lip in an effort to stop the satisfied smile that broke across her face. At least she still had game, if the flushed look Rachel seemed to be sporting was anything to go by. Just as the diva was about to make a beeline for the bathroom door, Quinn reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I would love to go on a date with you tomorrow, in public, with witnesses," she looked up with hopeful eyes.

Embracing her years of training, Rachel forced her face to appear blank as she responded with, "I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you," before sauntering off.

"Diva," Quinn muttered under her breath before flopping back on the couch and staring at the ceiling.

"I heard that!"

* * *

**I realize how long it's been, and I apologize profusely. I really don't have any excuse other than laziness and self-wallowing. It was hard to write a love story between, what I view as, best friends when I found myself dealing with unrequited feelings for _my_ best friend. Needless to say, I'm over the awkwardness and have accepted my fate to die alone.**

**That said, again, I'm sorry for the long wait and I'm sorry that it wasn't quite worth it with this chapter. It's not exactly a filler - it was supposed to be a longer update so this was only meant to begin it - but it is kind of meant as a reminder that I'm still here and, no matter what, I _will_ finish this fic. I know it's not amazing but I like to think it's not terrible, so thank you for sticking around. It probably will round to about 30 chapters, as I've remembered the whole point of this story to begin with. Anyways, the end draws near so, again, to those who have stuck around, you've no idea how much it means.**

**My last few words for the reviewers: As for the option A (episode by episode) I had found it had been done so I read a few chapters to see if what I had planned was anything like it. It is absolutely nothing like it, the only similarity is that it goes episode by episode. In my mind, they've _been_ together and they only plan on acting as enemies in school, they just get carried away. I can't really start that fic as I forgot that when I ordered season 1 online they sent me season 2 so I'm waiting for the correct order to come in...**

**As for the Quinn/Rachel date and talk about their feels, they are coming. Again, this update was to let you know I'm back. I wanna finish this within the month. Sorry if you have lost interest :( Anywho, keep on keepin' on. Hope you're all leading fantastic lives of adventure (maybe climb a few roofs for a bet?)**

**LAST WORDS I PROMISE. **

**So - _somehow_ - it happened that I had never read, nor heard of, Should Have Asked for Directions (commonly known as SHAfD, apparently) and I'll have you know it was the best Faberry story I've ever read in my entire life. I cried, I laughed, and suddenly it didn't hurt so much that my best friend didn't share my feelings; so I decided to continue this story. If you haven't read it, _read it now._ I envy the author because, damn, that story is a work of art.**


	26. Chapter 26

For a moment, Quinn regretted randomly showing up at Rachel's dressing room. Sure, the other woman had mentioned it - the right to visit, that is - in passing as she left the blonde's apartment, and Quinn had immediately planned to visit upon hearing the silent invitation. Fortunately, she knew the location from previously being in here. The memory of what occurred in here was not lost and Quinn wished she could smile at it. The problem now was that she felt the guilt wash over her.

Lying by omission was still lying, she knew, by Rachel's standards. The diva was willing to interrupt almost-sex just to be honest. Hell, Quinn felt more than guilty; she felt slightly vile. She felt like those days when she took a shower too early and her body just wasn't ready; as if the body wash she used just made her skin dry and nothing was cleansed. She swallowed down what felt like thick, impossibly huge repulsion.

It wasn't that she had been fostering some terrible, dreadful secret. Realistically, the idea that Quinn's story, albeit paraphrased, was taken to well by so many people around the country should be flattering. Quinn couldn't exactly describe her worries in words to herself but in her mind she compared it to someone proposing next to a dumpster. Sure, the idea of being so wanted that one wished to marry you was endearing… but next to a dumpster? Quinn would find herself flustered and not sure if it was a joke or not. She didn't want a similar situation to happen to Rachel. What if some guy with a microphone and a camera popped in front of Rachel and bombarded her with questions about her feelings for the book/movie made in her name?

Quinn had already relayed that situation in her head and she brought her hands to her face in dejected resolution.

The minute Rachel stepped out of the shower she would tell her the truth. Well, she'd ask her to go to the premiere with her… then she'd tell her the truth. It wasn't that what she hadn't said was a big deal – okay, so maybe it was; really, though, Quinn's biggest worry was that Rachel could possibly take the news wrong. It was a strange situation Quinn found herself in; Rachel could love the idea that Quinn wrote an entire book – to be turned into movie – about her, or she could be hurt that Quinn had to write a book about what could have been because she couldn't speak up. She could be mad that Quinn ran away. She could be angry that Quinn left with no regrets – though there were regrets, Rachel just might not see it that way. Or, at the worst, she might see it as a betrayal. Quinn couldn't tell _her_ but she could tell the world without naming names? That had to be seen as weak.

On the plus side, Rachel could see it as romantic and might understand that Quinn simply couldn't bring herself to say the words. Rachel was understanding; it was possible. Maybe it was even probable.

Quinn shook her head; she was starting to think that Rachel's high school paranoia of the unlikely had infected itself into her.

The sound of the shower turning off alerted Quinn and brought her back to reality. Checking the time on her phone, the blonde realized she had spent over twenty minutes going over all of the information she had over her head and spinning it into a web of possibilities. Rachel could this, or she could that, or they could this, etc.

The sound of the bathroom door opening caught Quinn's attention and she subconsciously turned towards the opening. Steam was slowly wafting out, evaporating almost immediately as the temperature of the room was sufficiently lower than that of the shower water.

Rachel, thankfully garbed in sweatpants and a loose hoodie, smiled immediately at the sight of Quinn still lying sprawled on the couch. Her light demeanor changed the moment she recognized the strain in the blonde's eyes that she could never steer away from.

"Qui-" she began only to be cut off by Quinn.

"Before you say anything, I was wondering if you'd want to go to the movie premiere with me," she bit her lip and mentally prepared herself for rejection. Why she felt that was necessary when Rachel more than likely to agree, she couldn't say.

Rachel's eyes widened and then she broke out into a Rachel Berry smile before dog-piling on top on Quinn. "I would love to," she kissed the tip of Quinn's nose and then proceeded cuddle her. Quinn's hands naturally found their way to the brunette's back and her fingers took to drawing random patterns almost of their own volition, making Rachel burrow further into the blonde's neck.

"Well, that was easy," Quinn thought aloud as Rachel laughed lightly, her breath ghosting the pale skin of Quinn's neck.

"What, did you think I'd say no to go to see your movie with you?" Rachel shifted to look Quinn in the eyes but Quinn couldn't hold the contact. "Quinn?"

"What're you doing tonight?" Quinn asked to deflect any questions Rachel might have been about to ask. She had a plan now though, granted, she had just made it up about three seconds ago.

"I had only planned on ordering some food and then cuddling my pillow all night, why?" she tilted her head and damn it all if Quinn didn't find her to be the most adorable thing ever when she did that.

"Have dinner with me instead," she suggested as her fingers crawled under the hem of Rachel's top. With a quiet gasp, Rachel felt her body break out into goose bumps. She dumbly nodded as her head collapsed back onto Quinn's chest and she relaxed into the blonde's explorations.

"Okay."

* * *

Rachel's body was still tingling from Quinn's touches as they made their way to Quinn's apartment so that the blonde could change into clothes more suitable for dinner. She felt as if those magnificent fingertips were still inching their way up her back and then lightly scratching down; so light, in fact, that it was more of a brush than anything else.

Rachel's face flooded with embarrassment as she recalled the satisfied noise she made when Quinn had done so. She felt like a teenager all over again, except she'd never felt _that _way from a single graze before. The second time Quinn had done it Rachel had hopped off of the couch and declared it was time to leave. The blonde had to bite her lip in an attempt to hide her smile but had failed completely; the fact that she could work Rachel up so easily did not lie lightly on her heart.

The only problem was that it worked Quinn up just as much and now she had to get through a whole dinner without being able to touch Rachel. Well, she'd be able to, but they'd be in the public eye so it would have to be appropriate touching, and that was not the kind that Quinn had in mind.

God, when did she get so… well, horny? She was never like this with Madison. Getting changed quickly was priority so Quinn went about it with no funny business. Fortunately, Rachel had a dress in her dressing room and had gotten ready there.

Once Quinn was ready, they left for the restaurant – the name of which Quinn refused to tell Rachel.

"Did you already have a reservation?" Rachel's eyebrows furrowed as she walked through the door Quinn held open for her.

"Nope, but I know people," the blonde replied simply as she offered her arm for Rachel to take.

"What people?" Rachel was secretly loving the little things she'd never noticed – or, if she had she'd forgotten - about Quinn before. For example, how naturally polite the girl was when it came to chivalrous things. Then again, her upbringing probably instilled such things in her.

Really, Rachel just kind of felt the urge to throw Quinn into the nearest wall and jump her and she was looking for as many excuses as possible to do so.

She should probably be worried that they'd only been in contact for such a short time and she already wanted to do things that she normally wouldn't have even thought of this soon in… a relationship. If that was what this was.

"Friends in low places?"

The brunette 'ugh'ed and said, "Country, Quinn? Really?"

"No need for your back sass, girl," Quinn tried for a southern accent and failed, causing Rachel to laugh. "Okay, so maybe country isn't my thing," the blonde admitted in defeat.

"Got that right. Are we walking there or catching a cab?" Rachel asked suddenly as they found themselves outside.

"It's not that far a walk, I was hoping to do that. If you didn't mind," she added, suddenly worried that Rachel would be unhappy walking.

"Perfect. Just don't walk in your abnormally long-paced strides," Rachel couldn't help but remember earlier – god, was it really only earlier that day? It felt like it had been much longer, at least a few days ago.

Quinn faked offense but gave into the smile, moving her hand down to grab Rachel's. The moment the contact was made, Rachel stopped walking which caused Quinn to be pulled backwards.

"Rach?" the blonde looked into muddled brown eyes.

"What are we?" the smaller woman asked suddenly, but her voice held only curiosity and nothing else.

"Umm, human?" Quinn ran her free hand over the back of her neck, rubbing hard in puzzlement.

The corner of Rachel's mouth tipped up and she playfully swatted Quinn's shoulder. "I meant me and you; us. What are _we?_ I don't exactly understand what we're doing. I mean, we were only moments away from defiling your floor earlier, and now we're going to dinner and, you _know_ me, I overthink things. And it's really annoying to not know how to think about whatever _this_ is," she waved between them, "in words because 'whatever this thing is between us' is an awkwardly long thing to think of every time I think of you. And, quite honestly, you've basically been the only thing on my mind lately and so…" Rachel trailed off, partially embarrassed to having admitted such. She cursed her verbosity.

Quinn blinked, taking in all the information. Slowly smiling and leaning forward making sure to bring Rachel's hand towards her, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Rachel Berry," she began, "will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" It was insane what was going on between them—unbelievable. The only reason Quinn found her question to be acceptable was that this was _Rachel._ She wasn't some strange woman she'd picked up at a bar and the brunette definitely wasn't even a casual friend. Quinn had loved Rachel for years now and, while Rachel hadn't exactly returned her sentiments, there had always been a level of comfort that the two only managed to find in each other. Even as friends they went beyond the lines. In retrospect, what was happening wasn't crazy at all; it was inevitable.

Trying – and utterly failing – not to beam at the blonde bowing before her, Rachel cleared her throat before speaking. "It appears you move quite quickly, Fabray. I mean, we've only just—" Rachel lost track of what she was going to say when Quinn raised an eyebrow at her. She huffed, "You're such a cheater. Fine," came her miserable attempt at a pout. She might as well have raised a white flag.

Quinn 'hmm'ed, lightly running her lips over Rachel's knuckles. Straightening up, she stated, "You know, most girls I have asked that to positively squeal in excitement. I'm kind of a catch."

Rachel found herself amused. "And do you know what people tend to catch? Colds, fish, rabid dogs that eat out of trash cans, the measles—"

"Butterflies, fireflies, s_tray_ dogs that simply want someone to love them, and even stars." Rachel acknowledged the banter and wished that she had more manageable shoes on because she found herself filled with the urge to twirl around and sing some ludicrous song.

However, hesitating at the way Quinn said stars, Rachel bit her lip as she said, "Well, since I'm a star, I guess that means I'm a catch, too. Looks to be you're lucky day, Miss Fabray." She couldn't help but raise her chin up and watch for the blonde's reaction out of the corner of her eye.

"So young, and yet so full of herself," Quinn said mockingly, but she couldn't stop the warm feeling invading her chest and spreading to her fingertips. She lightly squeezed the hand she held in hers and Rachel stopped doing her little skip-dance in order to walk next to the blonde instead.

"I'd only be full of myself if it wasn't true." Quinn decided not to say anything, happy to walk silently next to, well, her girlfriend. In the silence, Rachel finally asked, "So, where are we going?"

* * *

"You very much underestimated your friends. This is not… this is knowing people in _high_ places, Quinn. Country song or not." Looking around the restaurant, Rachel felt… in awe. Not of the restaurant itself, but of the fact that Quinn apparently knew someone well enough to get them in on a few hours' notice. While she had very much enjoyed the benefits of a high income, Rachel rarely found herself going to restaurants such as these. Jenna preferred to cook, as it were.

"I don't find myself going out much, these days. What with the movie and everything I didn't have much time to do anything but sleep and work. Yet, the movie is _exactly_ why I know people and I have many favors I've yet to cash in. This is merely one of them," she smiled as she brought her glass of wine to her lips.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, Rachel found her eyes following the movement watching to see if Quinn's lips would leave a mark on the glass. Granted, that wasn't the _only_ reason but it's always good to have an excuse.

"I vaguely remember an episode of Rizzoli & Isles I watched once," she remarked. "Somewhere near the end of the episode, Isles pointed out that drawing attention to one's mouth is a sign of flirting."

Quinn ran her tongue over her lips, "Did she now?" her eyes twinkled mischievously.

Rachel swallowed, "Mhm, and, yet, earlier in the episode she was talking to Rizzoli and purposefully brought food to her mouth and smirked. She unknowingly called herself out. I had an inkling about them, then, consider it my sixth sense." Quinn laughed. "That's not a sixth sense, that's a gaydar."

"While I might have argued that a gaydar is simply an ability to distinguish stereotypes a long time ago, I'll admit now that maybe it's an extra sense of its own. Hence, I do indeed have a sixth sense." Rachel brought her own glass to her lips and looked around again.

"Prove it." Her head snapped back and she instantly found the challenge in Quinn's eyes.

Not willing to be thwarted, Rachel turned her attention to the other patrons. "Gay," She nudged her head in the direction of a table where two men were seated across from the other.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "They're holding hands. Next."

Rachel's eyes roamed over table by table; most tables simply held a man and a women, many of which were older couples.

"Red dress, dark brown hair, black heels. Over to the right, seated across from the blonde in the blue dress, silver heels." Rachel refused to point in case she was noticed.

Watching Quinn's eyes meander over the many faces, Rachel saw the exact moment the blonde found the pair she was talking about. Recognition filled Quinn's features and a bemused smile made an appearance.

"Quinn?" Rachel probed when Quinn seemed to space out.

Realization dawning on her, Quinn chuckled to herself. "They're into each other alright."

Right as Rachel was about to say something smug, Quinn continued, "But I give you no credit for figuring that out."

"And why not?" Rachel harrumped, sitting back and crossing her arms.

"Because," Quinn leaned forward, resting her cheek on her hand, "Even a blind man could tell that Brittany and Santana are into each other."

Momentarily confused, as the information was slowly making the journey from Rachel's ears to whatever sensors there were in her brain, the brunette's eyes widened comically as she leaned forward to look back at the pair she had pointed out. As if planned, the dark haired woman turned a bit and Rachel saw her profile perfectly.

"Well I'll be damned." Sure enough, there was Santana, laughing at something Brittany had just said.

Neither woman had a chance to reflect much on what had just happened because the waiter picked that moment to place a few plates on their table. Rachel was baffled; she hadn't ordered yet.

"What, you thought I'd make us wait?" Quinn picked up her fork and twirled some of her food around it.

"What if I absolutely hate it?" Rachel asked, though she knew that was unlikely.

"I got it right earlier, and, unless your taste buds have changed dramatically in the past five years…" Quinn trailed off. "You aren't mad, are you?" Why did Rachel continually make her doubt herself?

"Quinn," the brunette's voice was filled to the brim with sincerity, "Of course I'm not. I'm actually grateful. I likely would have taken forever to order as I haven't done so in… well a long time."

Relieved, the blonde once again focused on her food.

"Can I ask you a question?" Rachel ventured after a few minutes. Quinn wiped her mouth, "You just did, but sure."

Rachel bit back a retort in order to retain focus. "I was wondering about your book, actually," and Quinn's stomach dropped.

* * *

**I won't lie; I wrote most of this chapter while drunk. **

**From that I must say, "Don't drink, kids, and be responsible." Anywho, I might update again tomorrow, depending on if the mood strikes.**

**Thank for for the reviews, as always. For the new followers and favs, thanks for those, too, they're never unappreciated.**

**To the one reviewer who left a rude comment (to which I deleted because, hello, rude and anonymous comments are the sign of a coward) I hope one day you grow up. I never claimed my writing was perfect. Also, I blatantly ignored anything you said, especially since you said SHAfD was over rated. I mean really, you cray cray. **

**Review, don't review. Eat pie, don't eat pie. Do what you want, I'll still be here.**


	27. Chapter 27

"Okay," Quinn said slowly. She had to clear her throat if she was going to continue because a sudden sense of Saharan desert dryness came over it. "What were you wondering about?" She was no Rachel Berry when it came to acting but she was giving everything she had in order to maintain a neutral expression. She couldn't quite manage to look Rachel in the eye at first but she knew Rachel would notice if she didn't. It helped that the brunette looked completely innocent and clearly had no idea what was going on in Quinn's mind.

"It's about the ending, really," she made a face. "I want to clarify something before I say this, as I mean so insult to your writing capabilities in and of themselves, but… it sucked. I hated it. Why did you have to go and end it there? In fact, I don't even know how I've forgotten to ask you at this point. I mean, there are some people out there who simply do not wish to find love and don't require love in their life whatsoever, but I never pegged you to be someone like that. And I still don't believe you are, so how could you possibly end the book as you did? And there's no way you'd ever let someone you love slip out of your fingertips when they're so close and the love is mutual," Rachel huffed and took a breath.

Quinn could only look at Rachel with a bewildered expression on her face. There were so many things she could say to the woman in front of her, some of them smooth, some of them awkward. There only thing that she could think of, however, was, "Were you not listening earlier?"

Just as Rachel was about to ask what on Earth Quinn was talking about, she thought of the day. Getting up, Quinn at the door, going to pick up food, going to Quinn's apartment, eating food, unpacking, finding the pictures. Quinn never had answered Rachel's…

"Oh."

"It's…" Quinn paused, unable to translate her thoughts into words for the moment. "It's not an exact… I didn't…" god, she sounded like an idiot.

"So, Levin is…" Rachel waited to see if Quinn would finish the thought.

"Me," the blonde sighed, practically withering in her seat. Somehow, in her head, she had imagined herself being much better with words.

"And they didn't end up together because—"

"Rachel."

"we didn't end up together." Quinn nodded slowly no longer trusting herself to speak at all.

"You wrote the book about us." It was a simple statement but Rachel, very much unlike herself, kept a poker face, not revealing her thoughts on the situation.

"I _based_ it off of my… past experiences that might have included you," curse her voice for making an appearance.

"Quinn," Rachel spoke softly, "that makes me Rebecca, right?" Upon receiving another nod, Rachel pouted and it completely threw Quinn off. Pouts like that were not for serious moments. "Why did I have to end up with the dummy?"

Quinn looked around accusingly, certain she was on MTV's punked or something, even though it had been years since the show was aired.

"Are you joking?"

"No! Rebecca was an idiot in the end. At first it was acceptable because she was just used to the comfort of a pattern, but _really_ with the ending? She was supposed to be relatively smart and yet her choices were a complete disappointment."

Quinn couldn't refrain from laughing— the problem was that she couldn't tell if it was bitter, amused, genuine, or bat shit crazy laughter. If she had to bet, it'd be the last one. There was no way, no_ way,_ Rachel was berating herself through character.

"I don't see what you find so funny, Quinn." Gone were the pout and the slight playfulness and back was the intimidating narrowing of the eyes. Had they been married, Quinn was sure that would represent a 'you're sleeping on the couch tonight' look. As it was, they weren't married and therefore that look was more of a 'you're in trouble' look. Quinn found her laughter halted faster than Finn was able to… never mind.

"You chose Avery," Quinn blurted before realizing the repercussions of saying as much. Then again, once it was out it was out. "You c_hose_ her, Rachel. She was a psycho! Personally, I find that to be a bad decision." A few people might have looked their way upon hearing the word 'psycho' spoken so loudly, but Quinn hardly noticed and didn't care even a bit.

The indignant expression on Rachel's face told Quinn that she really, _really_ shouldn't have said that. She wanted to fix what she said, but she couldn't lie and say she didn't mean it because it was true. Worse than Quinn could imagine, Rachel practically slumped in her seat and, instead of looking angry, she looked ashamed.

"So you wrote a book about the greatest mistake of my life?" she asked so quietly that Quinn could barely hear her. Quinn blinked and was scared that Rachel constantly making her to do so would turn her into an owl. _Not the thing to worry about right now, _she chastised herself.

"No, Rach," she declared earnestly, "I wrote it about the greatest mistake of _mine."_

* * *

"San?" Brittany furrowed her eyebrows and looked put out.

"What's wrong, B?" the Latina asked, instantly ready to deck someone in the mouth if necessary.

"Why are Quinn and Rachel fighting? They're supposed to be happy," she pouted.

"How do you know they're fighting?" Santana asked, puzzled by Brittany's words.

"Because they're arguing right over there and they both look upset," she cast a glance in their direction allowing Santana to follow her gaze.

"Well, shit," the darker girl had no idea that the two were there. "It's a small fucking world."

"San," Brittany admonished and the brunette apologized.

"Sorry, B. It's okay; Q's probably just telling Rachel about the movie. Final-freaking-ly."

* * *

"How was me taking Avery's side the worst decision of your life?" Rachel didn't even try to hide the skepticism, coated in mirth and bundled with agitation, from her voice.

"You temporarily misplaced your judgment and regretted it, what, three days later you said?"

"Well, yes, but only because I caught Avery in her lie. I'm not sure what I would've done otherwise."

"I don't believe that. The problem was with me—_I _was the one who couldn't handle it so I left without ever looking back."

* * *

_Quinn threw her hands up in the air as she was too frustrated to do anything else, landing them in her hair and gripping the roots._

"_Hey, Quinn, what's wrong?" her professor asked as he passed by her table. She thought of ignoring him but knew he was genuinely willing to help._

"_How do you end a story when you've no idea what it means?"_

"_What __**what**__ means?" The vagueness of his student's question piqued his interest._

"_Anything." _

_Knowing that there was no specific advice, her teacher did what he had learned from his old philosophy teacher; answered her vague question with something even less telling."Nothing ends, really, it just changes into something else."_

_The blonde stared at him for a minute wondering if he was fucking with her or not. Nodding, he turned on his heel and continued down the row of students. God, how he loved being an English professor; he always did get the best students._

* * *

"You saw my words as an act of betrayal and I should have known you well enough to understand how it would have affected you," the brunette insisted.

"I threw a pity party for myself because I fell in love with my best friend, who I still – even at that point in time - never believed I deserved to have in my life, and she didn't want me. Yea. _so_ betrayed; clearly you were a horrible friend for not loving me back with every fiber of your being," Quinn bit.

"That's the _problem, _Quinn, I _did._ And that's why I had to choose Avery!" the brunette shouted before she could reclaim control of her mind. There were definitely a few people staring at this point, and they weren't looking away anytime soon.

* * *

_Quinn didn't sleep very well that night. How could she? Her professor hadn't helped much what with his stupid, philosophical words that were supposed to answer all her questions._

"_Hey, Q," her roommate drawled from across the short space of the room, "you look all uptight and shit. Wanna relax a little?" Quinn craned her neck to see the offered bowl her roommate, K, had offered her. K had never offered more than the letter and Quinn had never really wanted to know K's full name. She didn't plan on keeping her as a roommate for more than a semester; she intended to not make any more __**real**__ friends for a while, actually._

"_Fuck it," she said before getting up and inhaling something she never thought she would._

_It was about ten minutes later when the fire in her throat finally died down and an amazing feeling lightly lied over her like a warm blanket made of hot chocolate and star—no, not those, anything but those._

_She felt great and she wondered why she had never given this a go before._

"_Feels good, right?" K asked._

"_Great, actually. Thanks, K."_

"_No probs, Q. No probs," the girl slowly flattened against her bed before drifting off._

_Sitting in the dark silence for a moment or two, Quinn took in a shallow breath and everything seemed to click. _Nothing really ends, it just changes.

_Her love for Rachel would never end, no, but it would change, eventually. One day, it would. And her friendship would never be over; it would just morph into something else for a bit. For the first time in a long time, Quinn felt at ease. She didn't feel the weight of loss pounding her into the ground, attempting to pulverize her into ashes. She didn't even imagine Rachel singing "Another One Bites the Dust" as it happened. No, instead Quinn saw the ending; Rebecca leaves Levin. Not because Rachel chose Avery, because Quinn left and therefore Levin should be the one to leave in that case._

_No, Rebecca would leave because Rebecca knows she was never meant to be with Levin. Rachel was never meant to be with Quinn. Rachel was meant to have more than Quinn._

_Yea. And even though Levin's love for Rebecca would never end, it would just change into a love for Rebecca finding all that she deserves. And, really, in the end, it wasn't even Rebecca leaving; it was Levin letting her go._

_Quinn closed her eyes and pictured Rachel._

_Brown hair trekking down in wavy lengths, long eye lashes, cute nose, smiling lips, the soft skin of her neck, small shoulder framed by one of the animal sweaters she used to love so much, plaid skirt covering those legs she had worked so hard for on her elliptical, stockings covering up her legs until her shoes which were, no surprise, ballerina shoes._

_Sure, that was moreso high school Rachel than college Rachel but it was how Quinn best remembered her. It was how Quinn pictured the girl she loved because ,while everything about the outfit was so wrong, it was Rachel and, in the end, that made everything so right._

_She closed her eyes shut really tight, tingles spreading throughout her body as she did so. The image stayed and she counted down from six— because five was way to common a number._

_Six_

_Rachel's smile grew and Quinn knew it was the same smile she received when she told the girl she was beautiful._

_Five_

_Her eyes shone the same way they did when Rachel would when the brunette would catch Quinn staring at her for an extended period of time._

_Four_

_Hey eyebrows came together the way they when she was confused._

_Three_

_Her smile started to disappear._

_Two_

_Her hand, small enough to fit into Quinn's so perfectly when they went for a walk together, reached out, as if trying to prevent Quinn from doing what she was doing._

_One_

_Rachel stood on her own, a bright light behind her and Quinn just knew._

_She fell asleep with a smile on her face because she had finally let Rachel go. She knew it wouldn't stop the pain, because that just doesn't go away so soon, but it would hurt for a different reason now; it would not end, but it would change._

* * *

Rachel cursed herself inwardly. "I think we should go somewhere more private," she suggested before Quinn could say anything.

For the first time since the discussion began, Quinn _really_ looked around. She didn't like the looks she saw in the multiple pairs of eyes that were directed her way.

"Yea, okay," she asked for the check before they could get kicked out.

* * *

**From the complete lack of reviews I'll assume most of you have lost interest in this story. Guess there's not much I can do but hope for college to help me make my work more interesting. Sigh.**

**To those who did review, as always, thanks.**


	28. Chapter 28

Quinn wished that she could think of her surroundings as silent, but they really weren't. She was in New York City, in a cab, and, while it was late, it wasn't _that_ late. It was a bit past dinnertime late, though, and, no matter the time, the streets were never really empty anyway. In other words, as much as she wished for everything around her to be still and quiet, there was noise all around her. She wished to be left to her thoughts because it seemed that she heard the noise of everything except the one thing she wanted to hear; Rachel's voice.

The woman had yet to open her mouth to say anything but "After we get there" to the blonde. At first, Quinn wanted to ask where "there" was but Rachel quickly told the driver the address to Quinn's apartment and the blonde had her answer. Why they were headed to her place was left a mystery, though Quinn assumed it was a backup – maybe Rachel picked her apartment because she was afraid Quinn would leave again if they went to the diva's instead? Or, maybe, because many things were still in boxes, there were fewer things to break at Quinn's? Or, worse, it was so Rachel could leave if she wanted to because she knew that Quinn wouldn't leave unless she got her way? That would be unacceptable and, if Quinn found that to be the case, she did not rule out jumping on the smaller woman to keep her there.

Quinn was practically dying for the cab to arrive and she planned on dragging Rachel out if she refused. She blatantly stared at the woman next to her for a few minutes as she tried to depict a single emotion from her face. Rachel could be a great poker player, she decided. Even though she had to see Quinn examining her, she showed no sign of acknowledgment.

_Aha!_ Quinn practically jumped out of her seat when Rachel's aloof demeanor tore and she bit her lip. Quinn could now see the strain in Rachel's eyes as she purposefully tried to keep her expression neutral. Knowing her control was slipping, Rachel turned to face the window and closed her eyes, much to Quinn's chagrin.

Once they – finally – reached their destination, Rachel calmly paid the driver and got out. Quinn did the same and had to pick up her step for a few strides to catch up to Rachel who was already almost to the entrance.

Quinn was debating on asking a question but, before she could even come to a final decision, they were at her door and Rachel stuck her hand out for the keys. Quinn watched, mystified, as her own hand reached in her bag to hand them over.

As soon as they were in, Quinn turned to close the door. Turning around she opened her mouth to say something along the lines of, "Are you finally going to say something now?" but found she couldn't because her back was promptly shoved against the door and Rachel's lips were on hers. As much as she wanted to skip the discussion, she couldn't, but she needn't have even bothered wasting the time to come to the conclusion; Rachel pulled away and took a step back.

"I understand that you likely think that what I just did came out of the blue but, and it was selfish of me, what I'm about to tell you is likely going to change things between us and I'm not certain that it will be for the better. Therefore, I hope you accept that I am not sorry I did that, though I am sorry for what I'm about to say."

Quinn felt sick to her stomach as she watched Rachel walk to the bedroom; it was the only place to sit somewhere besides the kitchen. As she forced herself to sit down on the opposite side of the bed, though they both rested against the same side of the wall, Rachel began to talk again.

* * *

_"I don't think this is going to work, Quinn," Rachel said with finality._

_"You've been at this for a solid ten minutes now and, while I commend your efforts, even I feel it's been an extended amount of time and am willing to admit defeat," she continued. She was mostly joking as she didn't want to stop talking to Quinn, but the girl really was having some difficulty getting her camera to work. Rachel tried to hold back a smile before recalling that the blonde couldn't see her, so she let it loose. It was actually kind of adorable how Quinn, accepted to Yale and clearly the top of her class, didn't seem to know how Skype worked._

_"Oh come on, I've just gotta find the right button or something, give me a break, Rach," Quinn said exhaustedly. Rachel imagined Quinn comparing her to a little kid in her mind even though Quinn was the stubborn one in this predicament._

_"I've already given you a break," Rachel joked. "Five minutes ago." Under her breath she added a mumbled, "So much for getting into Yale..." Really, it wasn't all that hard. Quinn was as flustered as a realtor that was given a bomb and told to disarm it._

_"Hey! I heard that," Quinn accused as she glared at the camera. Rachel only shook her head in an unknown response as a new voice was added to the mix._

_"What are you doing, Quinn? Because it looks like you're talking to a blank computer screen, and I thought you told me you __**weren't **__crazy? If this is what you deem as sane then I'm going to have to contest your reasoning." The voice sounded sweet, if a bit quiet, though in its current state it sounded playful to Rachel. She found herself smiling at the spoken words, thinking that she might have said something similar given the chance._

_Quinn's roommate made her way from the doorway over to the mysteriously non-functional laptop. Rachel saw the girl as she moved into view of the camera and took a good look at her. She didn't need to worry about being caught staring while she analyzed because Quinn couldn't see Rachel, but Rachel could see Quinn._

_Julie was cute in a little sister way, never mind the fact that she was Rachel's own age. Rachel figured that they were about the same size as each other, though Julie looked maybe a little smaller. From what Rachel could tell through the less-than-perfect clarity of the camera, Julie's eyes were either blue or grey._

_Besides the appearance, Rachel was instantly reminded of Tina, as Quinn had mentioned once. She remembered Quinn telling her that she also talked in longer paragraphs than Rachel herself could and, from that, Rachel found herself impressed. Being a combination of Tina and herself was nothing to be ashamed of, she decided with herself._

_"Julieeeeeee," Quinn whined and Rachel was taken from her, not so modest, thoughts. "Help me out, the camera or something is being stupid and my screen is blank when it clearly should not be. I'm __**attempting**__-" She was cut off._

_"And failing, I presume?" Rachel shared a quiet laugh with herself._

_"To Skype," Quinn finished with a glare. _

_"She's technologically crippled and won't listen to direction. She's actually similar to a man driving and refusing to ask for help, instead insisting that the map is correct and everybody else is wrong; she refuses to see reason," Rachel waved her hand in front of her face dismissing Quinn as stubborn and pig-headed._

_"You're computer seems to think it's not her fault," Julie laughed. "Who's there?" she looked at Rachel._

_"It's my best friend, Rachel. The one I'm forever texting." Rachel beamed and felt oddly warmed by the statement._

_"Well let's see what this Rachel looks like then," Julie said reaching down and in front of Quinn to grab the mouse._

_Rachel witnessed the moment Quinn was able to see her as a huge smile made an appearance. Her own bemused smile was not missed by Quinn as she mouthed a "Don't look so smug," through tight lips. _

_Happy to finally be able to have a virtual conversation with her best friend, Rachel raised her hands in mock surrender. "It only took Julie all of three seconds to figure out whatever you couldn't. I believe I have a right to bask in the fact that Miss Yale does not know how to work a computer." She simply couldn't wipe the smile, which was apparently smug, off of her face._

_Quinn just pouted in response and Rachel felt her heart melt at the sight. "Whatever, books don't have buttons, you jerk." And suddenly Rachel had the image of little Quinn's running around and stealing buttons off of anything and everything, cursing the world for being so button-dependent. She shook her head—sometimes the weirdest things came to mind._

_Laughing at her ridiculous thoughts, Rachel thanked Julie for helping out._

_"No problem. Nice meeting you, Rachel. Quinn never shuts up about you, so I guess it's been due." There went the fluttering again as Rachel envisioned Quinn telling Julie all about her. Because she was important to Quinn and Quinn wanted people to know of her existence. It sort of bugged Rachel that it was something all best friends did._

_"Oh really? What kind of things does she say? I should hope any information she considers worthy enough to share isn't embarrassing or anything of that genre," Rachel smiled but couldn't help but glance at Quinn to see if she looked guilty._

_Instead of seeing Quinn, however, she saw the top of her head and that was enough for Rachel to be scared. Julie obviously saw the worried expression on her face as she said, "Oh no, nothing like that. Just how talented you are and how amazing your voice is and the like." Rachel felt like she could die happy as Quinn's head snapped up and she looked mortified. Rachel knew she was an amazing singer but she never got tired of knowing that Quinn thought so, too. "I have to agree, you have a really great voice from what I've heard on Quinn's ipo-" Rachel watched in amusement as Quinn threw her hand up to slap over the girl's mouth. Belatedly realizing what Julie had just said, Rachel's heart, as if it hadn't been through enough, might have skipped a beat or two; Quinn had her singing on her iPod? "Don't you have homework or something?" Quinn shrieked suddenly and Rachel saw her wipe her hand off somewhere, likely her jeans or whatever she was wearing—Rachel couldn't tell._

_After Quinn convinced Julie to leave and Rachel told her it was nice meeting her, Rachel raised an eyebrow to Quinn._

_"What?" the blonde asked as if she didn't know, to which Rachel inwardly called 'bull' on._

_"Talented, huh?" she leaned forward, resting her chin on her fist._

_"I liked Julie better when she was quiet and didn't talk to me," she mumbled. "And, shut up, you know you are."_

_"Well, I like to think so but Julie seems to know from firsthand experience. Something about an iPod? I think that's what she was saying before you cut her off, anyway."_

_Quinn remained silent about the ordeal._

_"Quiiiiiiiiiiiin," Rachel pouted, bottom lip trembling. She knew Quinn usually – always – gave in when she did that._

_Sighing, Quinn mumbled, "I have a song or two on my iPod that you sang."_

_"Which one?" Not that it mattered, but it sort of did because, depending on the song, the level of difficulty it would have taken to record her singing varied. Did she go out of her way to record her or was it more of a benefit of circumstance thing? Rachel didn't really understand why she cared, but it just mattered._

_Rachel caught Quinn's focus on something behind her._

_"Quinn, which one? It's not that big of a deal," she prodded. "I'm flattered, really." She didn't want to admit it, but she was more than flattered. She felt… elevated. It annoyed her that Quinn's opinion meant so much to her, but it didn't change the fact that it did._

_"What's that on your wall over there?" _

_Tricked into looking back, Rachel felt dumb and turned back to Quinn with a glare._

_"Quinn," she warned. In reply, an unintelligible stream of words came out of her friend's mouth. "I don't exactly have supersonic hearing, Quinn. You'll have to be louder."_

_"I said she really liked Get It Right," Quinn repeated louder._

_Rachel paused for a moment, confused. "You have me singing that on your iPod? How have I never noticed? And how did you even get it on there?" Figures the first song she mentioned would be the one the blonde had inspired in the first place. Now Rachel would forever imagine Quinn secretly loving the song because it was sort of like a secret between the two that no one else knew about. As if she needed more feelings to make an appearance over the girl in front of her._

_"This is why I avoid telling you these things," Quinn sighed._

_"Fine, ignore those questions. How many other songs do you have of me singing?" Was there a reason behind having them other than Rachel singing them?_

_"Almost all the songs you've ever sang in Glee Club."_

_Rachel felt her face form into an outlandish expression but she couldn't help herself; almost all of the songs she sang? That was… there were __**so **__many._

_Rachel ignored the tug in her heart as she was slowly beginning to figure things out._

* * *

_"How's Ashley? I feel like we never talk about her. We talk about Julie a lot, and you now know a bunch of embarrassing things about me because of her, and yet all I know of Ashley is that she's your roommate and she's not awful."_

_"She, umm, she's... very assuming," Rachel wavered. She tried to keep information about Ashley on the DL on purpose because mentioning Ashley would involve mentioning her friends…_

_"Okay, I lied. I also knew that, but only because that's all you ever say when I ask!" Rachel felt guilty for the exasperated expression on her friends face. Lying by omission was still lying, she knew that, but it was really hard to talk about what was going on inside her head. And her heart, for that matter._

_"She's basically Santana, just way less... Santana," Rachel went with as she felt that was a pretty decent description. Granted, at least Santana was only an asshole as a defense, whereas Ashley was just kind of an asshole._

_"Because that makes __**so **__much sense," Rachel picked up on the annoyed tone._

_"Well... she's very crude most of the time, though she's lessened on her efforts now that I've clarified to her that I am not-" Rachel cut herself off immediately. She had just been so close to saying something she wasn't ready to talk about just yet. Or, rather, she wasn't ready to talk about it with Quinn._

_"Rach... what aren't you telling me?"_

_Ready for the conversation or not, Rachel knew she wasn't going to be able to __**not**__ tell Quinn at this point. She'd managed to postpone this moment for over a month, so she took that as a consolation prize. _

_"Well, two weeks ago I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she laughed. Then she told me that she 'Doesn't do relationships' but, if she did, it'd be with a girl."_

_Quinn paused for a second and then tilted her head. "So, she's gay?"_

_"Yes, that appears to be the case," Rachel admitted. She'd taken the news without batting an eye—seriously, with two gay dads how else was she supposed to react? Not to mention Santana and Brittany. She had wondered what Quinn would think, though she knew the blonde wouldn't really care either. It wasn't that she was worried about a bad reaction, but there was definitely more than one way to react positively._

_In truth, Rachel was more worried about Quinn's reaction to the news she'd actually been hiding. Rachel was slightly worried that Quinn would feel… out of place seeing as Santana was her best friend and she was gay, Brittany was next and she was bi, and now Rachel was dating a girl? It was an unforeseen situation to say the least._

_"Okaaaaay," Quinn said slowly. "I don't get it. Why would you hide something like that for as long as you did? You know nothing like that bothers me."_

_Rachel bit her lip; all the pros and cons she had been thinking of for the last week flooded her mind. __**To tell Quinn or not to tell Quinn**__, she worried._

_"Well, that's not what I was hiding," Rachel looked down and stared at her fingers __**really**__ hard. "I mean, at first, I didn't think it was important, and so I figured it was irrelevant and not really my place to tell you her sexuality. Then I found out that she's completely out and doesn't care who knows, so I felt I was able to tell you. I did ask her first, though." Even if someone is out Rachel knew that it was rude to just tell anyone her roommate's preferences._

_"Rach, you can tell me anything, come on," Quinn said and Rachel could almost feel the concern in her voice. She felt that they would be holding hands or something if they were in the same room. Rachel wished they were, if only for that reason, because Quinn's touch usually found a way to calm her nerves._

_"Shehasafriendthataskedmeout," the words spewed from Rachel's lips. "A friend that is a girl," she added before she wussied out._

_Those freaking perfected eyebrows rose as Quinn grasped the situation. She laughed, causing Rachel to look up, and the brunette watched as the blonde calmly set her cheek down on her open palm. _

_"What's so funny about someone asking me out?" she asked as she felt a pinch somewhere deep. She hadn't expected Quinn to laugh at such an idea but, then again, it wasn't like she was a prize or anything. Somewhere on the inside Rachel knew that wasn't completely true but, coming from Quinn, it just… it hurt more than it should have._

_"Oh, no, Rach," the laughter halted abruptly, "I'm not laughing because someone asked you out. There's no reason someone __**shouldn't **__ask you out. I'm laughing because I can only imagine how that conversation went, and I wish I could have seen it," Quinn explained._

_"What do you mean?" Rachel asked nervously trying to rid herself of the burning sensation behind her eyes._

_"Well, we all know how you talk in paragraphs when you're nervous. I wouldn't be shocked if you prepared a PowerPoint for her explaining that just because you have two gay dads, a gay roommate, and a few gay friends, it doesn't make you gay. Or something like that," Quinn joked._

_An uncomfortable silence made its way into the conversation as Rachel panicked. The blonde clearly hadn't thought for even a second that Rachel would've said anything but no._

_"...Rach?"_

_Swallowing the lump in her throat, Rachel made the decision to just tell Quinn._

_"I said yes." And god the world felt like it was crashing down, that Quinn was going to say something and Rachel was going end up a crying mess on the floor._

_"Said yes? To what?" Quinn seemed confused and Rachel didn't plan on reiterating—it had taken enough will power to say as much as she did. She hunched in her seat and waited for the revelation to hit._

_"Oh. __**Oh,**__" Quinn's eyes widened. "You said yes to going on a date... with a girl?"_

_The ginormous lump in her throat permitted Rachel to do little other than nod, and so she did._

_"What's her name?" she heard. When she looked up to meet Quinn's eyes she saw a mask._

_"Um," Rachel cleared her throat. "Avery."_

* * *

_"So. Avery." There was no question, just a statement and Rachel tensed._

_"I knew we'd get to her eventually," she sighed as she forced herself to relax._

_"Well, yea. When we fought over boys throughout high school and suddenly you go out on a date with a girl after a mere month and a half of college, I find myself intrigued," Quinn explained._

_The only consolation to all of this was that Quinn hadn't really changed in how she acted around her. The only difference Rachel could detect was that it seemed that Quinn was choosing her words more carefully than she had been pre-Avery._

_"Truthfully, it was amazing," Rachel admitted. "Completely different than any date with Finn." For once, it was easy to say his name. Rachel didn't even feel the need to hesitate. The warm hand that found hers only strengthened her resolve and she squeezed back, gratefulness at having Quinn as her friend overwhelming her momentarily. Sometimes she felt it more than at other times; it was times like those where she just wanted to hold the other girl and never let go._

_She looked over to Quinn and smiled at the sight. She realized quickly that there was a point to the action so she echoed the story of her date._

_She told the blonde that Avery was interesting and that she double majored in dance and photography. Avery had met Ashley at a dance competition years back and that was how they knew each other._

_She told Quinn that the band they saw was pretty decent and that, afterwards, they went to a club where they met up with a few of Avery's friends, including Ashley. Rachel hadn't wanted to drink and had been pleased that Avery had declined any alcoholic beverages as well._

_To be honest, it was the most fun I've had in a while. So when she asked to hang out another night, I said yes."_

_Rachel had intended for the whole thing to be a one-time deal, a way to forget about the way she felt about the strange new feelings she seemed to be fostering._

* * *

_"Rachel, what was your initial reaction to Avery asking you out?" Quinn asked after a few hours._

_"That's random, Quinn," Rachel deflected. She didn't need this, not now, not when she finally felt like she was climbing over the metaphorical fence she'd discovered in her mind._

_"I know... I was just wondering. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." The way Quinn was willing to not push Rachel just made it all the harder; now it felt like if she didn't tell Quinn it was because she didn't trust her and she knew the blonde would be hurt. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Quinn, hence why she had embarked on the endeavor with Avery in the first place._

_"Oh, Quinn, you know I'd tell you anything you wanted to know. You're my best friend!" she feigned chirpiness in order to cover up her discomfort. She vaguely remembered her dads telling her '__**never hide what you feel inside, baby girl.'**__ She hoped they wouldn't be too disappointed in her because she was hiding, alright. "Well, I'm not sure exactly. It was, what, three weeks ago? Hmm..."_

_"Three weeks and one day, Rach," Quinn corrected and Rachel wondered if Quinn was keeping count of the days. On a side note, she was curious, in the case that she was, as to why._

_"I'm glad __**you **__know. Usually I'm the one obsessing over dates, but Avery's really getting me to loosen up. Fortunately not with my studies, but with daily things. It's actually kind of freeing, not worrying about every aspect of my life." Lies, all of it. She knew exactly how many days it had been; please, she kept diary entries like it was her job and she wrote multiple entries per day. It didn't feel like a lie though as it wasn't like the information would hurt Quinn._

_"Raaaaach," Quinn pleaded on the other side of the line._

_"Oh, yea, sorry! Well, let's see. I remember feeling weird. Not as if I was weirded out, but like I wasn't rushing to say no. Or to show her a PowerPoint explaining that all the gay in my life didn't influence my sexual orientation," she mocked, bringing Quinn's comment from a while ago back into play. _

_It was true about the not weirded out part, but she found she was still lying by omission. It wasn't weird that it was Avery, but it was weird that, well, it was Avery. Or any girl that wasn't… no. Rachel wasn't ready to deal with own feelings just yet. Avery was her out for the time being and she was genuinely enjoying her time with the girl. Plus, Rachel knew that it was unhealthy to be so close to something you want but can't have. She would never permit a recovering alcoholic to stand in a liquor store; it would be ill-advised._

_"Hey! How was I supposed to know? You've never shown interest in girls before," Quinn defended herself._

_Rachel was quiet for a moment before answering. She definitely __**had**__ shown interest in girls before it was just that no one, not even herself, had noticed until just recently. She had always considered herself straight and knew that a ton of girls thought other girls were pretty, even beautiful; there was no reason to believe that she was doing anything more than admiring aesthetic beauty. Originally she thought that, maybe, she had denied her feelings for fear of falling under the stereotype of being gay due to being raised by two gay men. However, after some thought, she reasoned that she definitely wasn't gay; she had sincerely felt attracted to her past boyfriends. She also believed that she hadn't exactly denied her feelings; instead, she had just been exceptionally oblivious to what she was feeling. She hadn't understood._

_"That's because I didn't really know I __**was**__ interested until the situation was thrust upon me." She knew Quinn would think that the situation she was talking about was Avery, but it wasn't so. The blonde didn't have to know that though. "I knew she was pretty," just like I've told you, what, a thousand times by now? "but I didn't acknowledge that she was more than that until she asked me out. Then it was as if everything connected in my mind and I realized that maybe I could like a girl. It wasn't some huge moment, it was just __**a**__ moment."_

_"Hmm. I understand, I think." Rachel couldn't help but think, __**you have no idea.**_

_"Why do you want to know?"_

_"No reason."_

_"Quinn, I can tell when you're lying," she felt like an imposter, knowing she had lied and hadn't been caught. "I'm gonna repeat what I said earlier; We. are. best. friends." But best friends don't fall in love with each other in real life; those situations are for movies and in real life things only get complicated and messed up and the friendship never goes back to being the same._

_"Well... there's this girl in my writing class..." Quinn said quietly. "And nothing particular drew me to her until she read this poem the other day, and ever since I've been confused."_

_"What was the poem about?" Rachel asked, thinking she knew where this conversation was headed._

_"It wasn't the poem itself; it was the imagery within it. The author was describing this girl he knew as a child, and how the sun would shine on her face when they would sit at the edge of a nearby lake. How the grass would curl towards her fingers as they threaded their way in between blades, reaching towards her perfection. He claimed that he just knew that everything would be okay as long as she was near, because no way could something as perfect as that girl exist in a place where bad things happened. And, well, this image popped into my head, and it was..."_

_"Was what, Quinn?" God help her because the first image in her own mind was Quinn._

_"A girl." Rachel's heart momentarily stopped beating; at least she felt that way." And maybe it was just because of the poem but, while I listened, I pictured my perfect person, you know? Someone I could look at and think of in the same way that this author did. I wanted to be able to relate to him. The professor actually told us to sit in silence and picture perfection in the form of a person, and I really tried, but no male image popped into my head. And I kind of panicked," Quinn spouted._

_**I get that,**__ Rachel thought. __**More than you know.**_

* * *

_"Quinn!" Rachel shouted, excitedly hopping over to Quinn and jumping into her arms. She saw the blonde drop her bags and felt satisfied that she had been deemed more important as she felt strong arms hold her close._

_"Rach!" They spun around a time or two before Quinn let Rachel down, but Rachel didn't let go._

_"I missed you so much. Nothing compares to actually __**seeing**__ you, you know," the tiny girl said, finally pulling back if only a little._

_I missed you, too," the blonde said while brushing some of Rachel's hair behind her ear. The two just smiled goofily at each other before the sound of a clearing throat interrupted their moment._

_"Oh, Quinn! This is Avery!" Rachel beamed, looking back and forth between her best friend and her girlfriend of two months. She had been mentally preparing herself for this moment for some time now._

_"Hi Avery, nice to finally meet you," Quinn said politely while offering her hand._

_The other girl took it while replying, "Nice to meet you, too. Rachel's told me so much about you."_

_"Hah, all good things I hope," Quinn laughed. Rachel remembered her first conversation with Julie and smiled at the memory._

_"Like Rachel could ever say anything bad about you," Avery scoffed. "If you weren't straight, I'd be worrying about you two riding off into the sunset together."_

_Quinn blanched and Rachel caught her gaze snapping over to her own. The fact that Quinn looked sick to her stomach at the thought of being with Rachel that way just dug a new one into Rachel's already dented heart. She wasn't __**that**__ repulsive to the blonde, was she? _

_She felt Quinn trying to tell her something._

_**She doesn't know?**_

_**It wasn't my place to tell her. **__Especially since she'd likely question Rachel about it and the brunette would avoid that conversation for the rest of her life if necessary._

_**This makes things awkward.**_

_"Uh, um, yea," Quinn said pathetically and the pair knew it._

_She looked Avery over quickly and Rachel felt her spine tense; maybe Quinn couldn't fathom Rachel being attractive but she sure was measuring up Avery. Avery was taller than Quinn, had olive-toned skin with green eyes to match. Her long hair was a golden, almost dirty, blonde, and the waves currently presenting themselves were natural._

_Linking arms with her best friend, Quinn bent over to grab her two bags in one hand. "Let's get some food, I'm hungry," she stated. Rachel smiled and made a noise of agreement, beginning to walk. Just because Rachel felt nauseous every time Quinn unknowingly made her feel worse about herself didn't mean the smaller girl would stop loving Quinn as her best friend. It was her own fault, anyway._

_Both missed the look of muted suspicion in Avery's eyes._

* * *

_"Quinn, I won't be able to contact you for a few days, and I know you're in your last class before break officially starts by now, so that's why I'm leaving you a message. I know we've both been busy lately. Okay, I've been busy and I've been a terrible friend. I deeply apologize. Do you forgive me? Anyway, Avery is taking me to visit her family for Thanksgiving and insists I leave my phone behind. She said she doesn't want any distractions this weekend. So, I just wanted to let you know that. I'll call you as soon as I get back! And sorry for not telling you sooner, but I just found out myself. She wanted to surprise me. I know we planned on hanging out and I promise I'll make it up to you. Tell everyone I said hi? I love you and I'll see you soon!"_

_She almost decided against saying the last part because it didn't mean the same thing to Quinn as it did to her, but she knew it was normal. Rachel felt awful for having to leave the message, but she was also relieved that she wouldn't have the option of texting Quinn all break. The less she texted her, the more she forgot about her stupid, useless feelings._

* * *

_"Rachel... I need to talk to you. I just need you, actually. Call me back, please," Quinn said, voice cracking with the word 'please'._

* * *

_**I just need you, actually.**__ Rachel had no idea what had Quinn so upset, but she felt like the worst friend in the world looking at her missed call from two days ago. She had left her phone at her dorm over the weekend and she had just gotten back from her trip with Avery. They went camping at some place six hours away from campus and, while Rachel couldn't say it was the best experience of her life, it was definitely an adventure. She used to hate camping, but she found that it actually wasn't terrible with someone she cared about._

_"Ave, I have to call Quinn back. She sounded really upset over something," Rachel called over her shoulder. Since she didn't actually turn to look back, she missed the dark look that clouded Avery's usually pretty features._

_However, instead of Quinn answering like Rachel expected, the call was sent directly to voicemail._

"_You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message." Rachel didn't like the foreboding feeling that just slithered through her bones at all._

_"Hey Quinn, it's me. Is everything alright? Well, I mean, clearly something happened for you to leave me that message, but you're not answering so that means that your situation improved or it got worse. In fact, it went right to voicemail, which leads me to believe your phone is off, and I highly doubt that this means good news. I'm worried, so call me when you get this. I'm sorry I didn't answer, Avery made me leave my phone here over the weekend." Rachel stopped talking for a second, trying to think of what to say next. "Quinn, I'm really worried. I can't even bring out my mind-thesaurus to express it in different words. We haven't talked in a while, I know, and I'm sorry. I've just been so busy. __**Call me, Quinn," **__she stressed. "I love you." __**Please let her battery have just died**__, Rachel hoped._

* * *

_"Holy shit, Quinn," Rachel couldn't believe it was her friend in front of her. "You've lost so much weight! Are you even eating?" The brunette was gaping at her friend's horrible appearance. She didn't look like a skeleton – yet – but Quinn had definitely lost a surmountable amount of weight._

_"Yes," Quinn said in a clipped voice that had Rachel sitting back in her seat as if a strong wind had forced her to do so._

_"Why won't you talk to me anymore? We're best friends!" Rachel was frustrated with Quinn. Ever since Rachel missed Quinn's frantic call over a month ago, Quinn had pulled back from their friendship._

_"Are we?" Quinn asked, expression blank. Rachel felt a pain, a very real pain, stab on the left side of her body. Leave it to her to literally feel heartbreak._

_"What do you mean by that?" Rachel asked, shocked that not only did Quinn ask that, but she did so with no emotion whatsoever._

_"Rach, do you forgive me for high school?" Quinn's monotone voice rang out._

_"Quinn, what is this about?" They had been over this so many forsaken time that Rachel was beginning to become fed up. _

_"Answer the question. Please," she added as if it was an afterthought and Rachel couldn't even appreciate the fact that she was at least attempting to be polite._

_"Of course I do. I forgave you a long time ago," she waved off the dismissal of her feelings because it really didn't matter anymore. "Quinn, what's wrong?" she was starting to feel desperate. Something was __**wrong**__ with Quinn and she wanted to know what it was so she could fix it._

_Instead of answering, Quinn just stared at the screen._

_"Quinn! Talk to me! Don't block me out!" Rachel demanded, frustration peaking._

_"I don't deserve you as a friend," Quinn practically whispered and Rachel noticed the glint of light reflected off of her best friend's tears._

_"What are you talking about? Who said that?" Screw her anti-violent standpoint, she was gonna go – and may Santana bless her from wherever she was – all Lima heights adjacent on someone's ass._

_"It's true, you know. I was awful. I thought I forgave myself, but I haven't. Not yet. Nor will I ever, at this point," Quinn said flatly._

_Rachel didn't say anything for a few moments as she was completely lost in the entire situation. She had no clue what caused Quinn to regress back to this stage of thinking. They had become so close over the last year, and yet Quinn was doubting it all over again. What would Rachel have to do to prove to Quinn – to get it through her __**thick**__ skull – that all Rachel wanted from Quinn was her presence in her life?_

_"Quinn. You need to tell me right now what the hell is going on." Rachel left no room for argument, she would get to the bottom of this._

_"I got a text a while back, and I've received one every few days ever since."_

_"Okay," Rachel said, waiting for more. When Quinn didn't add anything, she prodded, "And?"_

_"Every text starts the same, but then they begin to differentiate. Each one tells me a different reason I don't deserve to have you in my life. And each one is true, they never lie."_

_"If they tell you that you don't deserve to have me in your life, then they __**are **__lies, Quinn." God, the blonde was so determined for Rachel to hate her and Rachel was so determined to..._

_She couldn't even admit it to herself, still._

_"I made you cry every day for a straight month sophomore year, truth or lie?"_

_"Quinn! What the hell?" __**Where in the **_**world**_** did she get that from, **__Rachel wondered._

_"Truth. or. lie?" Quinn bit back._

_"I'm not answering that. It doesn't matter." It was true but no one knew that except her dads and she very much doubted that her fathers would text Quinn such things. They had accepted Quinn as a new person long ago._

_"TRUTH OR LIE RACHEL?" Quinn yelled, shocking Rachel and reminding her of high school all over again. It wasn't exactly the HBIC Quinn she had grown to fear, but it was close. She hadn't called her Berry or any other old nicknames, so that was good. She didn't fear Quinn anymore, however, and she hadn't lied when she said she was long over it._

_"Truth," Rachel whispered, "but it's in the past, and I don't even know who would know that."_

_"You didn't eat for two days after I made a comment about your weight one time, truth or lie?"_

_Rachel froze. No one knew about that. Rachel had never told anyone about that, not even her fathers. She'd written it in her diary, sure, but diaries don't just up and become animate and text people cruel things. She had a healthy body image and felt like an idiot after letting simple words affect her so much as to stop eating. She had only made it to two days because she was too hungry to not eat and, as a vegan, she usually ate many meals throughout the day in order to maintain her weight._

_"How...?"_

_"You refrained from taking an AP course because you knew I'd be in it, truth or lie?"_

_"STOP THIS, QUINN!" Now Rachel was scared. That was yet another thing she'd only written in her diary and, really, it had also been because Jacob Ben Israel was also in the class. She knew that taking that class would be a restraining order in the making._

_"I can't. I can't because I need you to understand the truth. I __**don't**__ deserve you, and I never will. I love you, Rach, and it's the best karma of all because I'll never earn your love back." Rachel wanted to bang her head on her desk multiple times, prospectively till she passed out. Was she going to have to blurt out her feelings to change Quinn's mind?_

_This girl was impossible and Rachel saw the screen black out as the blonde hung up the call. "I do love you, though" she whispered as the burn in her eyes was allowed to flow and, like a dam fallen, the tears poured. It was the first time she fully admitted it to herself and aloud and it sucked._

* * *

_"Quinn, open the door now! I know you're in there! Julie told me so." Rachel banged her tiny fists against the thick, wooden door of Quinn's dorm room._

_"Julie's an idiot and should mind her own business."_

_"Quinn!" Rachel said, exasperated._

_Surprisingly, Rachel actually heard metal unlatch and saw the door open, revealing her best friend, whether or not the other girl accepted the label._

_Not giving Quinn any time to regret her actions, Rachel jumped on her, wrapping her arms around her as tight as possible. Quinn stood frozen, body tense. Rachel didn't even care because Quinn was in her arms and she smelled good and she was alive and, god, she missed her._

_"I missed you so much, you have no idea. And then you hung up on that stupid Skype call. Did you honestly not expect me to come running over here?" Rachel realized belatedly that she was crying again. She was comforted by the fact that Quinn apparently lost some kind of internal battle and returned Rachel's hug with an even tighter grip._

_They held each other for a long time, not even noticing that time was passing. Quinn impossibly tightened her grip, trying to evaporate any space between them. Rachel didn't resist, only moved her face closer to Quinn's neck, forehead resting on the smooth skin below Quinn's ear. Her nose hovered right over Quinn's neck and her scent continued to spread through Rachel's being; the over-imaginative brunette pictured the tiny molecules going through her nose, to her throat, filling her lungs, exiting her heart and boarding her red blood cells for a journey that would send them to every part of Rachel's body. She felt Quinn in her fingertips._

_"I missed you, too," Quinn choked out._

_Eventually, the two began to slowly loosen their hold until they stood unbearably close without actually holding each other and Rachel couldn't bare the proximity that represented only friendship to Quinn._

_Stepping back, Quinn asked, "How long are you here for?"_

_"Until you don't need me," and Rachel hoped that day would never come. Quinn suddenly collapsed onto Rachel and the smaller girl felt the sobs wrack her friend's body._

_"I'll always need you, Rach," she whispered. _

_"Then I'll always be here." __**Even if it kills me**__._

* * *

_"How'd you sleep?" Rachel asked Quinn from the foot of the bed. She was already dressed and ready for the day, while Quinn had just woken up. Rachel wished that her first thought wasn't about how much she loved the way Quinn looked when she woke up, but it was so she ignored it._

_"Better than I have for the past few months."_

_Rachel sent her a dazzling smile before ripping the blanket off of her friend. "Then get up silly, because we're going to have an even better day. We've missed too much time together and this weekend is going to make up for that."_

_"It's Friday, Rach," Quinn spoke as if that were a huge ordeal and Rachel just shook her head._

_"Yes, it is. Thank you, Sherlock. Now hurry up," she said, grabbing Quinn's feet and pushing them off the bed. Next, she stood in front of Quinn, who was now sitting sideways._

_"You're missing classes, because it's Friday," Quinn reiterated._

_"No, I'm missing classes because you're my best friend and you're worth it," Rachel corrected, grabbing Quinn's hands and pulling her off the bed. She pulled too hard, though, and the two almost fell onto the floor. Had Quinn not grabbed her around the waist, Rachel knew they would've fallen._

_Her breath hitched and she took a step back because she felt her entire body flush. "Thanks," she mumbled. "Now go get ready," she pushed Quinn towards the hallway and thus towards the bathroom._

* * *

_"Thank for the amazing day, Rach. For the amazing weekend in general, actually," Quinn said quietly so as not to wake up Julie, who was sleeping on the other side of the room._

_"Thank you for being my best friend," Rachel whispered in reply. She turned so she could cuddle into Quinn; had she never been oblivious to her feelings, this would be very awkward for her. As it was, this was a position neither of them were unused to and Rachel only felt a tiny bit guilty that let herself imagine it meant more than it did. It took her a second to realize that she shouldn't want to cuddle with someone who wasn't her girlfriend but she let it slide because it was Quinn. Which reminded her…_

_"Oh my god! I never texted Avery to tell her I was coming back tomorrow!" She really didn't want to move, though. She was tired and Quinn's arms were extremely comfortable. Her body was nice and warm, too._

_"No worries, I can reach your phone from here. Want me to just text her for you?" Quinn offered, ever the friend._

_**Of course she'd offer, because that's what friends do,**__ Rachel wondered when she'd stop feeling the ache in her chest._

_"Quinn?" Rachel looked up to see what her friend was apparently humming about. She couldn't tell if the increase in heat she felt from Quinn was in her head or not._

_"I was just noticing the smiley next to my name."  
_

_"Oh," Rachel shifted her head closer to Quinn's next and exhaled as she tried to hide her embarrassment._

_"Quinn, what's wrong?" Rachel asked as Quinn tensing was definitely not just her imagination._

_"Nothing, Rach. Let's just go to sleep, please?"_

_"Okay..." Rachel decided to let whatever it was go for the moment. She'd talk about it tomorrow._

_Burrowing further into Quinn, the brunette feigned sleep in order to commit the feeling of lying with Quinn to memory. One day it wasn't going to be acceptable anymore and she was terrified that she wouldn't remember the feeling._

* * *

_"Quinn, Avery would never do something like that!" Rachel defended her girlfriend._

_"Why would I lie to you Rach? I've never lied to you since we've become friends," Quinn replied._

_"I don't know," Rachel said, unsure of herself. She didn't want to say something assuming and accuse Quinn of being jealous. She definitely felt guilty seeing as she had lied to Quinn once or twice in that same time period._

_"Rachel, she doesn't want us to be friends, for whatever reason. She's probably crazy, I don't know."_

_"Do not call Avery crazy, Lucy Quinn Fabray!" Rachel shrilled. Of course, Rachel was inadequate in Quinn's eyes and Avery was crazy._

_"Someone who sends cruel text messages to someone who has never hurt them is crazy in my book."_

_"You used to send me cruel messages on tons of things in high school and I never thought __**you **__were crazy!" Rachel regretted it immediately; the blonde would take any instance to throw high school in her face about her unworthiness and, really, Rachel would blow up if she even tried to use it again._

_"I was crazy back then."_

_Rachel felt even worse for bringing that up now but she couldn't believe Quinn's accusations. She didn't want to, because her relationship with Avery meant too much to her. She __**needed **__Quinn to be wrong. If Quinn was right, that would make her one escape from her feelings for Quinn disappear. She would be forced to leave Avery and then she'd only have Quinn again._

_She couldn't do that, she couldn't. It was hard enough dealing with her rotten feeling when she had someone who liked her, possibly loved her, back. If she had no one to distract her she'd fall apart and eventually Quinn would figure it out and then she wouldn't even have Quinn! Because, though Quinn would be adamant about nothing changing, __**it would change.**__ They'd still be friends, their friendship wouldn't end, but it would be so different. The openness of their relationship would change; Quinn would never tell her about people she was interested in because she would be fearful of hurting Rachel. The entire situation would suck and Rachel wouldn't be able to… she wouldn't handle it. She wouldn't be able to._

_"Let me ask Avery," Rachel offered knowing it was the stupidest suggestion in the world._

_"Of course Avery's going to lie, Rach! Why don't we just ask everyone in prison whether or not they're actually guilty of the crime they've been sentenced for!"_

_"Many people in prison are actually innocent of their alleged crime, so you're not helping yourself out with that tidbit!" She knew arguing was not going to help her but what else could she do? She was close to breaking because she knew Quinn wasn't lying at this point. She didn't know if Quinn was right, but she knew without a doubt that Quinn believed what she was saying, and so Rachel believed her. Yet, she couldn't accept it. _

_"You're just saying that because you're a vegan and you like to see the good in people!"_

_"What does me being a vegan have to do with anything?" She knew the conversation – argument – wasn't rational anymore; nothing about the pair was rational at the moment._

_"It... I... well...gah! EVERYTHING! It has EVERYTHING to do with it!" It had nothing to do with anything and they both knew it._

_"Really, Quinn. Really?" She expected no less from Quinn; they were both frantic, though for different reasons. Quinn because she thought Rachel didn't believe her and Rachel because she knew all of that, but she didn't have to courage to fix anything._

_She knew that fixing the situation meant breaking herself._

_"Rachel, why don't you believe me?"_

_"I can't believe you, Quinn. I __**can't.**__ Believing you means I'm choosing sides, and I need to not choose sides right now." __**I do believe you, I do, but I can't accept it. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.**_

_"And when she denies it? What then, Rachel?"_

_Rachel paused. What __**would**__ she do? She hadn't thought that far ahead. Her mind was focused on __**stall, stall, stall.**__ Yet, she couldn't stall forever._

_"She's my girlfriend, Quinn. I love her." __**I'm not in love with her but she's there for me and she'll **_**be**_** there for me when I randomly cry over you every now and then.**_

_"And I'm your best friend. You love me, too. Does that mean anything to you?" _

_Rachel just wanted to shout back at Quinn that she loved her more than she'd ever know; that she would never simply be her best friend. That Quinn meant __**everything**__ to her and it was her own stupid fault for not recognizing that their friendship allowed her to live and that it was simultaneously killing her._

_"Quinn, you know it's different!" It was only different because Rachel should have felt for Avery what she felt for Quinn and vice versa._

_"How is it different, Rach? Is it because she fucks you every night?" Quinn raged._

_"Quinn," Rachel warned. She knew Quinn was about to cross a line, if she hadn't already crossed it. She knew Quinn had only said that because she was flipping out but she still cringed at the morbidity of the blonde's words._

_"You said you'd be there for me whenever I need you. Well I need you, Rach. I need you to believe me. We've known each other for years. You've known her for, what? Five months? Are you really going to take her word over mine?" _

_"She's never given me reason to doubt her, Quinn!" Rachel uttered the words that she knew would destroy Quinn before she could stop them. She needed Quinn to back off, to give her time to think, though, and her desperation won out over the small bit of rationality that she had left._

_"I knew you'd never forgive me." _

_"Quinn, don't... I didn't mean it!" Rachel sputtered, wishing more than anything she could take it back. She'd give anything just to take back the entire conversation. "This is a horrible conversation to have over the phone!" If she could turn back time, she would've asked Avery to visit Quinn with her and only then would she have had the conversation. She knew she could fix the situation if she could only touch Quinn in some way. The two were always grounded by each other._

_"Rache-" Quinn began but Avery entered her room and interrupted._

_"Rach, babe, what's going on? Why are you shouting?"_

_"Avery, have you ever texted Quinn?" Rachel asked without regard. She stared at her girlfriend, willing to accept whatever words she spoke because she needed them to be true._

_"Huh? That's a random question, but no, I don't even have her number." She shrugged and walked over to Rachel's bed, flopping down as if the whole situation was no big deal._

_"Liar." Rachel was glad that Quinn had never used that tone of voice in relation to her._

_"Quinn, I don't know what to say." And it was the truth; Rachel had no words that would fix any single part of the entire conversation. Well, she could fix it for Quinn but she would be planning for her mental breakdown at the same time. Sometimes, self-preservation was key._

_"Say you believe me. Tell me that you know I'd never lie to you."_

_Quinn was met with silence. Rachel wished for the blonde to understand that she did believe her; had the conversation been in person like she wished, Quinn would have easily seen it and she would have accepted it. She would have been pissed, but she would accept it. Perhaps she'd resent Rachel for a bit, but the brunette imagined she'd eventually tunnel her way back in Quinn's life and everything would be forgiven._

_But the conversation wasn't in person and Quinn could have no idea what Rachel was trying to say silently._

_"Goodbye Rachel."_

_"Quinn, wai-" but the phone call ended and Rachel felt the phone slip from her grasp. It landed with a thud at the same time her heart made a beat._

_"What's going on, babe?" Avery asked, concerned._

_"I don't know, but I think... I think I broke something." She knew. She __**knew**__._

_"What do you mean? Like, a bone? How?" Avery started inspecting her girlfriend for injury. Rachel wanted to slap her hands away, disgusted with herself and with everything in her life. Instead, she shook her head. _

_"No... I think I broke my friendship with Quinn." With that, Rachel collapsed to the floor and cried like never before._

_Avery fell to the floor to wrap her arms around Rachel, whispering soothing words into her ear to try to calm her down. Rachel took no comfort in the action because nothing was right; the smell, the sounds, the feel… all of them were off._

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn, answer your phone, please. We need to talk."_

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn, I know you're upset but you need to answer you phone and talk to me."_

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"I visited your dorm this weekend. Julie said you requested a new room last week. Please just __**call me back."**_

* * *

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn," Rachel was crying into the phone, "please answer. __**Please**__."_

* * *

_"The phone number you've dialed is no longer in service, if you'd like to..." Rachel didn't hear the rest of what the recording had to say. She collapsed to the ground, wrapped her arms around her legs and cried. She didn't care that she was outside for everyone to see. She didn't care that she was sobbing uncontrollably._

_All she cared about was Quinn, and she didn't even know where she was._

* * *

**The last two chapters were un-beta'd, I forgot to tell you. Meaning that this one is un-beta'd as well. Therefore, I apologize for the typos. **

**Sorry I'm not sorry about my language but...**

**HOLY F$#^&^%*$%KING HELL with the reviews. By no means would I stop writing from the lack of reviews... but I mean it's nice to know you guys care about the story. Think of it this way: If a comedian is on stage and says something funny, people laugh. If they don't laugh, the comedian feels like a failure.**

**I have been working on this chapter for about five hours now, more if you count me planning about it during work. Luckily, if you recall chapter 9 or 10... I forget..., it's basically all that just Rachel's perspective. Anyway, I'm tired as hell and, as much as I want to address the mind-blowing response of reviews I got, I promise to do so later. Bloody. Freaking. Hell. you guys. That was at least 60 reviews. For one chapter.**

**Hell, I promised myself to finish this tonight because of that response. I... can't even. Just thanks. You guys are perfect.**


	29. Chapter 29

Quinn listened to Rachel speak with a frown on her face. It was like she was reading _Undeniable _from Rebecca's perspective instead. Well, that was basically the case, anyway. The problem was that hearing her perspective made everything – all the drama, all her crazy emotions, all the pain – so much worse because she knew, now, that had one of them just spoken up… it all would have been perfect.

But would it have been? Really? Quinn would've never written the book, not as it was, Rachel wouldn't have gone around looking for jobs with such a fierce determination, and who's to say they would've just fallen into a perfect relationship? They fought, they were both overly dramatic, and neither had any experience with that kind of relationship. For all Quinn knew, it could've failed miserably. She refused to look at Rachel; she needed to keep her head on straight for a bit. She couldn't help herself, though.

"So you—" she didn't even need to finish. It was funny how she whispered it; as if talking any louder would break whatever spell was over them. She didn't want the calm to break too early; she wanted to hold the storm off as long as possible.

"Yea," Rachel answered as if she knew what Quinn was about to ask. And maybe she did.

* * *

_Looking down at her plate, Rachel didn't understand the concept of eating and chewing and swallowing. She couldn't understand hunger, what with her stomach feeling like someone dropped a weight inside of it. The green leaves she was pushing around her plate did nothing for her. She didn't even want to pretend to eat but Avery had been insistent and so she at least made a tiny attempt to appear fine. "Rach, come on, eat something."_

_"I'm not hungry," the brunette stated glumly. It was true; if she were to eat more than a few bites she would just throw it up. How could Avery honestly expect her to eat?_

_After Quinn hung up and Rachel cried in Avery's arms for a while, Rachel had wanted to call Quinn back and convince her to meet up to talk in person. Avery advised Rachel against it by saying that Quinn just needed time. Rachel had just nodded solemnly and continued to cry until she fell asleep. She wished she hadn't listened, but she had. She wished she didn't feel the way she did, but she did. She hoped that Quinn would come back, but she didn't. She probably wouldn't._

_What was she supposed to do anyway? Call Rachel, apologize for making her choose, and fix the friendship? Rachel scoffed at herself. The likelihood of that happening was the same as her Daddy Hiram marrying Dolly Parton. The only way anything would be fixed would be if Rachel found Quinn and just did something – anything. Rachel wanted to be angry, wanted to feel anything other than wounded, beaten, and broken. She couldn't, though. She watched as her fork ripped apart a piece of spinach and wanted to cry. She felt like that withered piece of greenery, she could relate to it easily, as if some force she couldn't prevent was poking holes in her jab by jab._

_"I know, but you need at least need to try to eat," Avery sounded like her words were supposed to be soothing but all Rachel heard was fuzz, like when the TV isn't catching a signal. It was as if all noise, other than the sound of her fork scraping over her plate, was far back, distant. It was completely unrelated to anything she was dealing with and, therefore, Rachel heard little of it._

_Looking up, Rachel imagined seeing Quinn sitting across from her, asking if she planned on 'finishing anytime soon'. She could picture the blonde laughing and pointing at her plate, "You usually eat so much, thereby making me hate you for how tiny you are. What's got you down?" There was no hazel, however, no blonde and no low voice. There was Avery, instead. She ducked her head in her hands and wished for everything to just go back to the way it used to be. She could deal with secretly having feelings for Quinn, she could. The pain she felt then was nothing compared to what she felt now._

_"I don't want to," she whispered. "I just want Quinn."_ _Without her, she just wanted to curl into a ball and die. Or, rather, fall into an endless coma in which she could dream her perfect life of having Quinn and Broadway together._

_"I just don't understand why she would accuse you of doing something like that," the smaller girl confessed. She still hadn't accepted that Avery had done such a thing. There had to be a way for Avery not to have sent the texts and that way she could explain to Quinn that there was no reason to be separated anymore. Rachel just figured that if she repeated the thought often enough it would eventually be true, but something nagged at the back of her mind and it made her feel like she was praying for the sun not to rise the next day. Only, even if she could somehow prove that it wasn't Avery, she still wouldn't be able to find Quinn if the blonde didn't want her to._

_Avery wrapped her arms around Rachel and the smaller girl didn't push her away. She didn't need another person in her life to hate her._

_Did Quinn hate her? No, she couldn't. Rachel would be incapable of, well, who knew if she found that Quinn hated her. It would definitely hurt her in ways she would never be able to imagine, surely._

_"She's probably just upset that you have someone in your life besides her. She'll get over it, eventually."_

_Rachel could hear the lies falling from her girlfriend's lips. She knew they were meant to comfort her, but they ended up only digging deeper into her heart because they were her own hopes that would never prove true. How badly she wanted to believe it… but she refused. She wouldn't set herself up for further disappointment. She was already drowning in a well of self-pity._

_"I don't think so. I think she's really... I don't know," destroyed. "You know she's been distant recently. She has __**been**__ pulling back. What if she's pulled back so far that whatever was holding her broke last night? I need to call her. I need to talk to her." Rachel had seen it happening but she really thought she had fixed it the other weekend. They had been so close for those few days that Rachel felt they were inseparable. Quinn had looked at her with so much emotion, so much friendship. While it had stung, it had provided a grateful feeling within Rachel; she had been willing to realize that she'd only ever see that much from Quinn. That she'd never see the same love she felt reflected._

_As soon as the phone was in her hand, Rachel dialed her number one speed dial and squeezed her eyes tight when she heard the pre-recorded voice of her best friend._

_"You've reached Quinn Fabray, leave a message."_

_"Quinn, answer your phone, please. We need to talk."_

* * *

"I remember seeing that you called," she admitted.

"Why didn't you answer?" As if repeating the past, the blonde stayed silent. When it became clear that she wasn't going to answer the question, Rachel continued.

* * *

_"What movie do you wanna watch, Rach?" Avery asked gently._

_The first thing that came to mind was for Rachel to say, 'Put whatever you want in, Quinn.' But Quinn wasn't there, Avery was. She felt like that was going to become a constant phrase in her life and she felt acid rise in her throat at the realization that it probably was. Her chest felt heavy again and she needed something that would distract her, something that would give her a different sensation to focus on. "Put in a horror movie, please," Rachel answered._

_"Are you sure?" Avery gave her a half-excited, half-confused look._

_"Yes." Rachel had never watched a horror movie with Quinn before; the brunette had altogether refused on the stance that she found them raunchy and unnecessary. In reality, she just didn't want to spend the entire night in Quinn's lap – and she would no doubt end up in Quinn's lap - because, as much as she would enjoy it, she couldn't risk something like that. She feared that she would cross some kind of line in doing so and Quinn would figure out her secret and everything would blow up in her face and… blah. Not that it mattered much anymore, seeing as the chance to ruin things with Quinn by confessing was replaced with a whole different way to ruin things with Quinn._

_"Cool," Avery chirped._

_Even though she had just checked her phone a few minutes ago, Rachel picked it up and checked for any texts or calls anyway._

_Shockingly, there were none. How sorely she wished that she'd look and "Quinn :)" would appear next to "New Message" or "Calling"._

_Sighing, Rachel put her phone down just as Avery's went off. Seeing that it was Ashley who had texted Avery, Rachel picked up her girlfriends phone and read the message._

_"__**Yo, bitch, roomie finally quit whining bout Q?"**_

_Rachel rolled her eyes at Ashley's concern-filled message._

_Exiting the text, Rachel went to Avery's contact list to change her own contact name. The other day she saw that she was under the name "Tiny" and she spent several minutes arguing with Avery to change it._ _She lost the battle then, but she was going to fix that now. Changing it to "Rachel ;)", she saved the contact and watched as her name rose through the ranks_.

_Her body stiffened as still as a statue when she saw whose name was two names under hers._

_Avery had two other friends with "r" names, Ricky and Riley, but only one person was labeled under "q"; Quinn._

_Unless Avery just so happened to meet a Quinn in the last few days, Rachel knew of only one Quinn that Avery knew. This meant she had blatantly lied to her, even though Rachel couldn't honestly say that she wasn't expecting something similar. She may not have been willing to accept it at the time, but Rachel wasn't going to full out deny what was in front of her own eyes._

_Her heart – what was left of it, anyway – dropped deeper than it had before. She gambled on a happy life with Avery and she lost. Not only had she already lost Quinn but she was about to lose Avery, too. It was like picking to spin again on the Wheel of Fortune and landing on Bankrupt._

_"Rachel?" Avery asked the moment she walked in and the girl in question only looked at her hollowly, already knowing what was about to happen._

_"You said you didn't have Quinn's number."_

_"Oh, I can explain that," Rachel watched as the girl before her attempted to compose herself. The problem was that Avery was no actress and never would be._

_"I'm sure you can," Rachel deflated and wondered when her life had taken such a turn for the worst. It was as if she just couldn't win._

* * *

"What did you think I was going to ask? When you answered yes before I even had a chance to finish?"

"It didn't matter. You could have asked, 'So you were in love with me?' or 'So you lied to me to protect yourself?' or anything about me failing you as a friend and the answer would have been yes."

They looked at each other for a long moment, gazes held as thoughts were attempted to be deciphered.

"You didn't fail as a friend," Quinn broke the contact and looked down.

"Quinn, I—"

"Wanted to fix it and I wouldn't let you. If that's failing it's only because I denied you any chance at success."

* * *

After what felt like hours, days, years of talking, Rachel had finished telling her side of the past. The pair sat in silence as neither woman had moved during the entire time other than to readjust. It had in fact been a few hours as it was nearing one in the morning.

"Your second to last night of the show is tonight." Quinn meant to ask but it came out as more of recognition of the fact than query.

"Wow, yea, I guess it is," Rachel answered anyway. The room stayed silent for a few more minutes until Rachel needed something to fill the void she was feeling. She had sort of banked on Quinn reacting with more, well, anything that wasn't silence. Maybe some yelling, something among the lines of shouts of, "Is this a sick joke?"

But, silence? No, she hadn't really anticipated that.

"Your premiere is in two days if you don't count the rest of today."

Quinn slowly nodded, turning the thought over and over in her head. Rachel was about to say something else because the silence at this point was just frustrating her and causing unnecessary tension for the both of them. However, Quinn finally made a move and turned to Rachel, staring through her at first. After a few seconds, her eyes ultimately focused on Rachel's and the brunette noticed that Quinn looked – of all things – vulnerable in that moment.

"You're still going, right?" Quinn asked and Rachel felt something she hadn't in a very long time. She couldn't even pinpoint the feeling but she instinctively reached her hand across the mattress to grab hold of Quinn's. The blonde hesitated only a moment before reaching across her half, meeting Rachel halfway.

"Unless you don't need me to." The 'or want me to' was unspoken. Unexpectedly, Rachel felt a tug on her hand. Quinn was looking at her and a reflective glaze passed over her eyes. The brunette understood what Quinn wanted so she scooted over only to be wrapped in pale arms.

"I'll always need you, Rach," her voice sounded fragile. Not knowing whether to cry or laugh, Rachel did some kind of combination of the two.

"Then I'll always be here."

* * *

**Okay, so this chapter was supposed to be longer but I wrote chapter 28 as an outlet, and it worked, bringing me out of wherever I was. Thus, I feel lighter and need some more fluff in my life. Less of this angst. Sorry if it was anti-climactic.**

**Two more days until the premiere. This leaves roughly 3 chapters left, maybe 4 (Note, I say this but you all know how I manage to drag things out...). Next chapter is a successful date between our girls, so, wee? No angst, promise. Madison and Jenna will be brought up, but it'll be light, I swear. For those of you who want to see Madison again, remember that premiere's include the cast :D At least... in my head they do. I'm not actually too invested in real life events...**

**Anywho, thanks for sticking around as this story draws to its end.**


	30. Chapter 30

**First off, holy crap I'm sorry for the wait. I know it's only been a few days but my plan had been two days max. **

**Power outages, writer's block, eight days of work in a row where I came home from work only to wake up and it was time to go back... you name it, I have the excuse. I hate excuses, but really. Then I had to go and think up Between Five and Six and - MAGICALLY - my writer's block disappears and seven thousand-plus words spill out of me faster than a laxative.**

**That said, I can't believe I've written 30 chapters. I can't believe the amount of reviews.**

**Lastly, I can't believe you guys actually like the crap that comes out of my mind. It's okay, you only have to endure it for about 3 more chapters.**

**This chapter is beta'd, for once.**

* * *

When it came to the night ending, there was absolutely no way Quinn was going to ask Rachel to leave her apartment at one in the morning. First off, the blonde didn't actually _want_ the diva to leave. Second off, even if she did, that would just be cruel. It felt odd to realize that so much had happened in so little time and Quinn wasn't sure that she was completely comfortable with the pace at which things were currently running in; rushing into things meant a greater likelihood of it going wrong. There was one focus on her mind and she wanted to get this right; she wanted to do right by Rachel.

It was an awful feeling to realize that Rachel had also developed feelings for her in college because there were, and always would be, more than one side. It hurt to know that all of those years of pain were technically for naught and could have been prevented. Yet, once again, Quinn couldn't _fully_ regret their mistakes because they'd changed for the better because of them. Wishing to take it all back would mean that Quinn must regret being with Madison, which she didn't. It would also imply that she wished to withdraw the memory of Rachel being with Jenna, yet she obviously couldn't be upset that Rachel had been with other people as well. It was a weird acceptance of the past.

She couldn't grieve over the opportunity lost because she felt that, where they were now, they were headed towards the right track. Really, the only doubt Quinn had about the current situation was that maybe they were trying to find that track a bit too soon.

With that thought, Quinn was glad that they were both just sleeping tonight. She looked down at the mess of brown hair that was splayed all around her and just took a moment to breathe and revel in the sight she had longed to see for so long. Rachel had already fallen asleep, breathing even, but Quinn had stayed up to ponder for a few moments, ever the thinker. Looking down at her girlfriend had Quinn's heart melting; there was just nothing more beautiful than what she was feeling right now. She felt so whole. Rachel was there, she was sleeping, and she loved her.

The past was unfortunate but at least it was all out there. Sure, she'd probably overthink for the next few days or weeks and send herself into a paranoid frenzy. It was more than likely that she'd do what she hated to do; ask herself "what if?" Eventually, however, Santana would slap her upside the head, tell her to see what's right in front of her, and Quinn would finally see.

She'd see Rachel.

The need to be closer to Rachel checked in and Quinn pulled her arms around her waist tighter. The effort had pulled the smaller woman up more, as well, which left the mop of brown hair inches away from Quinn's nose. The scent of Rachel's shampoo lulled her off to sleep in no time as she was out like a light seconds later.

* * *

After a late morning – they had gone to sleep late, after all – Rachel had headed off to the stage early to organize both her thoughts and her possessions. Quinn had been grateful that she had been up to see the brunette leave. Her _girlfriend._ God, that felt strange associating that word with Rachel. It wasn't at all unpleasant, though; if anything, it was as if someone had told her that all of her wishes had come true.

She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to fall for something that wasn't real, even if she knew in her heart that it was very real.

The mood that had taken over Quinn after her hands had traveled across the unchartered territory of Rachel's back was similar to how she imagined defying gravity would be like. The blonde chuckled to herself as she pictured Rachel's reaction to her opinions. She had felt so free, so light. All she had wanted was to… god, she didn't even know. Rachel just had her mind blowing every which way and she was just glad she could tell left from right.

Her mind felt so jumbled at the moment; a massive amount of information had been dumped on her in the past few days. She felt somewhat – _exceedingly_ – overwhelmed. Watching Rachel leave had left the blonde confused; part of her missed her girlfriend – by Barbra, she very much liked thinking that – already while the other part was relieved.

With Rachel gone, Quinn had time to think without having to worry that the brunette would fret over her being quiet. She just wanted a few moments to sort things out, to allow her mind to catch up. She needed to understand how she felt about everything. She craved clarity.

Less than a minute of debating over, Quinn dialed a number of someone she supposed could help. The voice answered on the third ring.

"My ears are open— speak away and try not to bore me," Quinn couldn't help but be reminded of a less bitchy version of Santana. Realizing what that meant, she did allow herself to be slightly creeped out.

"Hey, Madison, it's Quinn…"

* * *

"LC, my lesbian ex-lover," Madison greeted with a crooked smile as she walked into the apartment and gave the blonde a light hug.

"Thanks for coming over, Maddy." As much as the blonde didn't want to admit it, she had missed Madison's company. Even if the actress was going to say things like 'lesbian ex-lover', Quinn would take what she could get.

"I really only came for free food and the scoop on what's going down with you and Rachel," Madison admitted as she walked into the kitchen and proceeded to search the fridge. "Or _who's_ going down for that matter." Finding nothing of interest, she poured herself a drink, found a chair to sit on, and leaned forward on the table. "Never mind on the food, apparently. So spill."

Quinn sat across from her and got right to the point, completely ignoring the innuendo. She had decided not to cut any major details out and managed to include most of the little details as well. Fortunately, Madison already knew Quinn's side so it was easier for her to understand than, say, for Santana.

It was some time later that she finally finished and Madison put on her thinking face.

"So she had feelings for you in college? Not that it's hard to believe. I'm sure you've had people questioning their sexuality for years," the last part was said more to herself than to Quinn.

"Yea." Madison's playful manner was bugging her because she wanted serious consideration over her problems, wanted real advice. Things were fine for now but they weren't settled and Quinn needed that to change. If she could only let everything fall into place she'd be fine, but she couldn't.

"And how do you feel about it?" Madison could tell that this was probably why the blonde had called her over in the first place. Seeing as Quinn's favorite task was thinking about things before, during, and after they happened, she could figure as much.

"That's the problem. It's as if part of me is content knowing that at least I didn't suffer alone while the other part is miserable knowing that both of us suffered for no reason."

"How do you think she feels about the movie?" Quinn didn't want to voice her exact feelings but she knew that she had to. There was only one way to stop her thoughts from attacking her conscience and that was by communicating her reflections out loud. It was like writing her book; before she wrote anything, the feelings taking over her and sending her over a cliff of crazy were scattered and running rampage. As soon as she had finished the book, she could look down and actually evaluate what was going on inside of her. The words, written down as proof, could no longer be jumbled in her mind. The problem was that she couldn't just write down what she was feeling now because she knew she needed validation; she just needed to hear words spoken from a mind that wasn't her own.

"I think she felt as if I had written the book out of resentment for her. It's possible that she took Rebecca's leaving as me mocking a stupid decision on her part. I'm almost positive she believed it was my repressed way of telling her that I blamed it all on her and that it was _her_ fault that I left, but that wasn't it at all. I think she understands _now_, or is at least trying to, but, I mean, until she physically sees the movie I won't know if she truly comprehends what I wrote."

Madison was silent for a moment; she could see how Rachel could take it that way. She had almost – key word there because it was a great role to play in the end – not wanted to play the part of Rebecca simply because of the way the story ended. However, things were different now. She could fully appreciate the way the story concluded, as she was sure others who had been hurt could, since she now knew that life wasn't that fairytale that so often sold in the stores. Thinking of the way the ending made her feel and imagining herself in Rachel's place, Madison thought that maybe she could picture it. There was this feeling that told her by the end of the movie, it would all make sense to both of the women—Rachel _and_ Quinn. Clearly, Quinn was still perturbed by something for her to be mulling over everything yet again.

"I think all that matters is that she sees the movie," she established. "The moment it ends," she reached over for Quinn's hand, "I wholly believe that Rachel will, without question, appreciate all that you've put into the story. I know I did. We _both_ know the rest of the cast did. It's perfect, Quinn. This movie is your baby and it's perfect."

Quinn squeezed the hand that held hers.

"Thanks, Maddy. For everything." They both knew what she meant, and that she meant every word.

"No probs my former-"

"Don't even."

* * *

The show for Rachel went by in a blur. She still put in one hundred percent of her effort, as she always did, but she just felt as if she had been in the audience watching versus actually starring in it. Once it was over, she followed through her usual post-show procedure and tried to figure out what was so atypical about her day. At first, she had assumed it was because she had stayed up so late and then had proceeded to sleep in late. That appeared not to be the case, however, as the coffee she had consumed earlier hadn't changed the feeling in the least bit.

When she had stepped out the shower and changed into her regular clothes, her mind had been set on going home and changing to get ready for a night with Quinn that _wouldn't_ end up with tears or the telling of past mistakes or anything of that nature. The night she had been anticipating would be nice, easy, and best of all, would involve Quinn being Quinn and not a once scorned best friend. Rachel wouldn't be the girl who ruined Quinn's heart, not in the blonde's eyes. Not tonight.

She hadn't anticipated for a knock on her door and for a very solemn-looking blonde to be standing outside of it.

"Is there any way we can talk for a short while? Just a few minutes?" she said.

"Of course." Though she had been frozen in place, Rachel had gathered herself enough to step back and welcome Jenna into the room, if a little stiffly.

"No need for that, I just," the blonde hadn't moved from her location, but she ran her hand through her hair, clearly frustrated with herself. "I promised myself I'd never talk to you again, yet here I am."

While she had winced a little, Rachel had otherwise tried to keep eye contact with Jenna. The tricky part was locking her focus on blue eyes that still managed to look so devastated. It was as if swirls of uncertainty were twirling around in those eyes and Rachel hated knowing that she had put them there. Mouth open to speak, Rachel found that she didn't honestly have anything to say except 'sorry' and that would have sounded imprudent to her own ears, let alone Jenna's.

"How's Quinn?" the blonde looked down and Rachel watched as she took a deep breath and held it, likely preparing herself for the pain Rachel's words would bring.

As much as she didn't want to speak the words, they slipped from her mouth because she wasn't going to lie to Jenna. She didn't deserve that. "We're good. We spent most of last night talking about the past." It was possible to see Jenna internally fighting with herself; she had released the breath all at once and her hands had clenched but, eventually, she had taken another breath. Between the breaths, Rachel hadn't been aware that she lifted her shoulders and set herself up to take a few verbal blows. Wanting to berate herself, Rachel rested her head against the door; she knew Jenna wasn't like that and she felt idiotic for humoring herself for even a short while.

"I guess that's all I needed to hear," her blue eyes looked back up and a broken smile found its way to her lips. "I hope everything works out for you."

Rachel felt shell-shocked and merely stood there with not-so-dry eyes. She was grateful to not actually be crying, but she didn't feel as if real tears were too far away to become reality. The hug she hadn't been expecting, but she returned it anyway. "You, too," her throat sounded dry and she swallowed because she knew what was coming next.

"Goodbye, Rachel."

Despite the fact that the tears never came, the weird feeling she'd been dealing with all day had disappeared. Her hand rose lightly in the air, Rachel just waved slightly and sent a rueful smile her ex's way. As if getting a knot out during a massage, something released in the brunette and she heaved a considerable sigh of relief. She was reminded of when Jenna left and the door had clicked behind her—what she felt now was similar, but that had been a click of distress and pain and hurt. This had solely been about finality and, maybe, Rachel hoped, a tiny bit of forgiveness.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked as soon as Quinn opened the door to her apartment. The blonde rolled her eyes as she was reminded of a puppy by the woman's eagerness; a cute one, though.

"You look lovely, too, Rachel. Please, _do_ come in." It wasn't hard to tell from her tone of voice that she was mocking the other woman and now it was Rachel's turn to roll her eyes. Even if she did feel slightly embarrassed for her lack of a decent greeting, Rachel didn't show it.

"You always look beautiful, Quinn. You should just assume that I'm telling you with my mind the first time I see you all the time. Like a sixth sense." Eyebrow raised, Quinn played back.

"So I guess I should just never tell you how talented you are ever again?" With her arms crossed over her chest, she leaned into the door and gave Rachel that look that claimed victory. "That you should just know every time I look at you?"

As expected, a pout developed and Quinn heard a grumbled response that sounded something like, "You just have to win at everything." Smirk planted firmly on her face, she pulled the brunette in for a hug.

"I missed you," came the admitted response.

"You just saw me a few hours ago," Quinn laughed softly, exhaling as she did so.

"I can still miss you, you know. Just let me _not _miss you in silence for a minute," small arms wrapped tighter around Quinn's waist and the blonde could've died of Rachel overload in that moment; everything was perfect. "So, where are we going for real?"

"Catching Fire."

Hundreds of New York restaurants were running though Rachel's mind, but she didn't recognize the name anywhere. "I've never heard of that. Where is it?"

"It's the name I've officially entitled my kitchen. It was in the hopes that the irony would prevent me from actually catching anything on fire." She couldn't be sure if it was the smile on Quinn's face or just the adorableness of the whole mess, but Rachel was pretty sure she could live the rest of her life just… ugh, she didn't even know. She basically wanted to jump the blonde and never let go.

"You're too much." The dining part of the kitchen was all set up with wine glasses and candles – vanilla scented, of course. As if Rachel didn't already feel close to bursting from sensory overload as it was, Quinn just had to go and make it so the entire room smelled like her. How on Earth she was going to get through the night, Rachel had no idea.

"I'm no better at cooking than I was in college, for the record."

"Your mother always made dinner and you were always too busy at Cheerio practice to watch the actual preparation take place." While Rachel's back was to Quinn, both smiled fondly at the memory of their attempts to cook in Yale's dorm's kitchen way back when.

"Hey, don't mock me. If I recall, you were just as helpless as I was." Finally face to face, Rachel poked Quinn right below her collar bone.

"That was only because _I_ had expected to be able to sit back and watch you make the magic happen, but _nooo_," Rachel drew the emphasis out. "You were ridiculous! Way worse than me, to be certain."

"Excuse me?" There was no way Quinn would take that lying down. "You were the one to ask if we boiled the water first or if we just put the noodles in and waited."

Scoffing, Rachel fought back. "You were the one who wanted to bake the tofu as if it were chicken!"

"Well, yea, not all of us know how to handle your freakish tofu!"

There went the stomp of a foot. "Tofu is not freakish!"

There was undoubtedly an urge in Quinn to keep the banter going, but she couldn't because that damn stomp of Rachel's foot always got her. Instead, she just imagined all the things she could be doing and belatedly realized that she should be trying to focus instead. She should be focusing on having a nice date, and not Rachel's chest heaving as her breath was returning to her. She should have been focusing on pulling Rachel's chair out for her, and not how dark her usually brown eyes had gotten. But most unquestionably, she should _not_ have been focusing on Rachel's lips because that was just asking for disaster.

It hurt – oh, how it hurt – to drag her gaze away from the woman in front of her, but Quinn managed.

"We should eat the dinner I've slaved over before it gets cold."

"Is this one of those things where you actually ordered it from somewhere but you slid it into a pan or whatever to make it appear as if you've made it yourself?" Quinn merely made an amused sound in reply.

* * *

After finally sitting down and eating some of the meal – which Rachel admitted was altogether better than she expected and probably _not_ bought under the pretense of being homemade – the brunette felt the need to ask Quinn the list of questions that had been nipping at her from the back of her mind. "Is it alright to ask you when you and Madison ended your relationship?"

The lack of hesitation in Quinn's answer soothed Rachel's worries that talk of Madison would bring the conversation to a sober mood. "We weren't together at the party for the movie." It was almost as if Rachel didn't believe what she had heard because she distinctly remembered watching the two and how they'd been talking with their eyes most of the night (and their hands later).

"I don't understand." _Explanation time._

"We had been drifting apart for a bit," Quinn decided to rephrase. "Well, that's not exactly what it was. I had been removing myself slowly from something I knew would never work. Next thing I know, I arrive at our apartment after a meeting with Jenna I find her in bed with Kevin."

The idea that Madison, Miss Perfect, had cheated on Quinn sent shock reeling through the woman like no other. Why on Earth would anyone feel the need to cheat on Quinn? Rachel wanted to feel heat rushing through her system so she could convert it to anger and take it out on the actress at a later time, but Quinn was looking at her with a funny expression. Her lips were quirked up and she laughed when Rachel asked her, "What?"

"It wasn't a terrible ordeal, really. I told her I was leaving the next morning and we're still friends. She actually came over today to give me some advice." When the last sentence had ended, Quinn wanted to smack herself for the slip; now Rachel would be asking about what kind of advice she had gotten and she truly didn't want to go through it all again. And definitely not with Rachel.

"Oh. I ended it with Jenna only a few days ago," she, too, decided that she had used the improper description. "Well, I guess that,_ technically, _she ended it with me. It was kind of a mutual thing. Hell, I don't even know."

There was a bit of silence but the comfort in it was that it didn't seem to be awkward for either of them. They both happened to be thinking of how much had changed in only a few days, even if it had seemed much longer than that.

"Things are moving so fast, but time is moving so slow."

"You sound surprised," Rachel noticed as if the news wasn't a big deal to her.

"You aren't?" Quinn tried to understand what she saw in Rachel's eyes but her efforts found nothing. It was as if Rachel were looking at her and asking how she could be unaware that the sky was blue.

"Of course not. I found that, even in high school, your presence seemed to have that effect on me." Whether it was the passive way she said it or the shrug to accentuate her point, Quinn found that she couldn't do anything more than stare at the woman in front of her.

Emotions went ramped before they eventually settled and, though Quinn hadn't expected their dinner conversation to turn this way, she wouldn't have had it any other way. It was weird realizing that they had somehow managed to skirt the topic of Madison and Jenna, especially when the women were such integral parts of their lives.

It was like a trip back to high school when nothing made sense and Quinn stood in the hallways and wondered what would become of her.

In that moment, Quinn still had no idea what she wanted, but she was pretty sure that, whatever it was, it involved being near Rachel for the rest of her life. Whether they were holding each other, sharing a smile, sleeping, reading, watching TV, fighting over something stupid, yelling, singing, breathing, loving; Quinn wanted it all.

She'd loved Rachel for so long and she would continue to love her for the rest of her life. This moment was just one of the many times she'd be reminded of that fact, she knew.

It was with that acknowledgement that Quinn spent the rest of the night listening to anything and everything that Rachel had to say. When the moment came that Rachel asked why she had remained so silent, standing in front of her by the sink and asking her if something was wrong, the blonde had just smiled as she wrapped her arms around a thin waist and placed her lips on Rachel's temple. "I'm pretty sure," her mouth moved towards the brunette's ear and her voice whispered, "that everything is _right."_


	31. Chapter 31

She didn't have a show tomorrow. That was good.

"_Quinn_." Her voice was kind of toast.

* * *

_(Earlier that day)_

It wasn't hard to discover that waking up next to a lion's mane of blonde hair was something that Rachel wanted to do every morning. Her fingers moved of their own accord to brush the stray strands away from Quinn's face and a content hum sounded from the blonde's throat as she reached out to pull the small body in front of her closer.

"Good morning, Quinn," Rachel smiled into the smooth skin of her girlfriend's neck.

It was some time later that the two actually managed to get out of bed; neither wanted to leave the little cave of warmth. They did, though. Eventually.

Rachel feared that the day would take forever and the premiere wouldn't come soon enough. That wasn't the case, oddly enough. Instead, it was as if the day went by in a blur of calling Santana and Brittany, getting something to eat, and getting dressed and made up. All too soon, Rachel found herself seated next to Quinn as the movie began to play on the huge screen before them. She didn't even remember the pictures that were taken on their way in. Had there even been a red carpet? Rachel had no idea.

From the moment Madison was on screen, Rachel was thrown into a different world. She had prepared herself to see it as just a movie, just a story. Quinn had prepared her, though, and told her that some things were different than in the book. The book was different than the movie, though, because Rachel had no idea who the book was about. With the movie, Rachel didn't see acting, she saw memories.

* * *

The moment Frank made his way onto the screen, Rachel found she disliked his character very much. She couldn't tell if it was the way he walked, the way he hulked over Rebecca, or just the fact that she knew that Quinn based his character off of Avery. It was probably a combination of the three. She was also vaguely reminded of Finn and that just made her feel a bit nauseous because that was a _long_ time ago; a time full of regret.

She sent a sparing glance at Quinn to remind herself of where she was now versus where she had been then, only to find that the blonde was looking back at her. The blonde given Rachel's hand a light squeeze before turning back to the screen with a small smile on her face. Rachel vaguely wondered if Quinn was getting more than a little bit of pleasure over her misery. There was no way the brunette could watch Rebecca put herself through such a terrible relationship and not cringe inwardly.

* * *

It didn't take too long for Rachel to realize that Quinn really had meant it when she said she hadn't written the story to make the brunette seem like a complete idiot – that it hadn't been about Rachel making the worst decision of her life. While she still didn't like Frank, they hadn't made him out to be that asshole that no one understands how he got the girl. He clearly cared for Rebecca, he was just a little too selfish.

On the movie went, hardly a dull moment. Granted, Rachel was literally a part of the story and so she found herself glued to every word, every look. She could relate to everything Rebecca was doing, this time because she knew it was basically how she herself had lived life.

Then came Levin and the cruel words.

For a few days, in movie-time, he treated Rebecca so terribly. Then Rebecca became official with Franklin and Levin backed off. It hurt Rachel, a tad bit, to think of Quinn writing about how terrible she was. How hard must it have been to write chapters about verbally abusing the woman you knew you loved? Then again, maybe it wasn't so hard since they had broken their friendship around the time those chapters were probably written. The brunette wondered if Quinn had used it as a private venting session.

Instead of looking over at Quinn to gauge her reaction, Rachel turned her hand over and intertwined their fingers. She felt the impulse to acknowledge that reality was no longer the movie; she needed to feel the contact. When Quinn tightened her grip in response, Rachel felt an odd sense of relief. She wasn't sure why she had needed it, but she had.

It wasn't long before Franklin and Rebecca got into their first fight. Rebecca, of course, found her way to Levin's arms. It broke Rachel's heart, watching the story pan out in front of her. It wasn't the movie, the actors, the plot, or anything other than her reality that affected her so. She wasn't watching the screen, she was reliving her life. How many times had she and Quinn held each other in college? How many opportunities to tell Quinn she loved her had Rachel missed?

So the movie wasn't some super original piece, and so it was obvious that Levin and Rebecca should be together. Some people probably wouldn't like the movie, but Rachel figured that they could just go screw themselves because this movie wasn't some stupid fictional piece that someone came up with simply to sell. Sure, it was fiction, but it was based off of the truth. A truth that Rachel knew. A truth she wished she didn't.

The fights increased as did Rebecca's affectionate ways with Levin.

Rachel knew what would happen soon; Franklin would tell Rebecca that they were over and Rebecca would run to Levin. Levin would tell her everything she needed to hear and then he'd hold her until she fell asleep. She'd stay there for a few nights until, on the fourth day, Levin would accidently admit his feelings for her. She wouldn't believe him, wouldn't _want_ to believe him. Franklin would call only moments later to talk with her and Levin would never see her again. They would avoid each other until they graduated and Levin's miserable words would end the movie, just as they did in the book.

"_That's the problem with people, with me; we put so much meaning into our words and actions that we assume they'll always have the same affect. The thing is… they won't."_

At least, that's what Rachel expected.

Tears threatened to escape as the story unfolded quite differently than anyone (who didn't take part in the movie) saw coming. Rebecca stood nervously by the side of Levin's car as she waited for him to finish showering after lacrosse practice. She'd seen him take a beating; his head wasn't in the right place and they hadn't talked in a week.

By the time he'd noticed her, he was only a few paces away.

Rachel didn't see what happened next; her eyes were on Quinn. This had not happened in the book. The blonde tried to stay as still as a statue, but the slight glaze over her eyes hinted at how she was truly feeling.

"I know girls aren't usually the ones who give away the flower but…" the movie continued.

"_Quinn,"_ she whispered when she noticed that the woman in question was purposely keeping her attention on the movie. Hazel eyes met her own and Rachel had no idea what to do with herself.

* * *

"You changed the ending." They had just entered Rachel's apartment and Quinn was relieved to find that Rachel was still talking to her—the singer hadn't said a single word the entire ride home. Next to her relief was the fear that, now that Rachel was speaking, Quinn didn't want to give her a reason to be mad at her. She was newly afraid of saying the wrong thing and ruining everything.

"I did."

"No, Quinn. You _changed_ the ending."

Before the blonde had time to understand the emphasis that Rachel was placing on her words, she found herself pressed up against a wall with Rachel's eyes almost level to hers.

It was something about those brown eyes that made her feel. Their innocence (and stubbornness) had made her feel in high school. Their hope and vision had made her feel in college. Their love had made her feel forever.

Right now, the openness of those eyes is what pulled her in.

Quinn could write novels about Rachel's eyes. She could write word upon word about what the swirls of brown could do to a person willing to fall in love. She could.

Yet, looking at Rachel and scanning her face, Quinn didn't want to use words. So she didn't.

Her hands dove into brown waves and those eyes that she loved so much closed as their lips met. It was an oddly gentle kiss and Quinn had no idea how long that aspect of it would last because she needed more. Her chest already felt like it was about to implode on itself; she didn't need anything else to add to the feeling. She immediately started backing Rachel up against the wall instead and smiled when Rachel moaned at the placement of her thigh.

One of the many things Quinn loved about dresses was that they were often extremely thin and typically short, as was Rachel's. Her hands moved south as her fingertips grazed the exposed skin of Rachel's thigh. Slowly trailing her fingers upwards, Quinn continued her path past the hem of the dress. Finally reaching her destination, Quinn pulled the singer's hips into her thigh, another moan pouring into her mouth. By now, the kiss had evolved into something much more than gentle, but Quinn still needed more. She gripped Rachel more thoroughly and pulled away from the wall. In response, the brunette wrapped her legs around Quinn's waist and tightened her arms around a pale neck.

The moment she felt her shin touch the edge of the mattress, Quinn laid Rachel down and moved her lips to her neck. She felt hands tangle into her hair but didn't think much past getting the dress off of the woman below her. With that image, her hands ran over the dress and around Rachel's waist, finally rounding back to the zipper. It wasn't too challenging for Quinn to lift Rachel just enough to pull the thing down and, when she did, her breath caught as she realized what was about to happen.

Slow enough that it was painful, Quinn dragged the dress Rachel's body as the brunette lifted her hips to help. The noise that escaped the blonde's throat broke something in the air and Rachel brought her hand back to the nape of Quinn's neck, bringing her down to smash their lips together again.

Before Quinn could fully appreciate the fact that she had a half-naked Rachel Berry below her, she heard the sound of her own zipper being freed and, just as suddenly, her own dress disappeared. Deciding not to think about how deft Rachel proved to be at removing her clothing, Quinn went back to focusing on the extremely warm skin beneath her lips.

From lips, to jaw, to Rachel's throat, Quinn took a moment to pay special attention to a spot that was apparently more sensitive than the rest (if the hitch of Rachel's breath was anything to go by).

The light murmur of moans didn't stop as Quinn descended down the brunette's body, lips and hands leaving a burning trail. Flashes of memories, wishes, and emotions flew through both of them, and the blonde stilled for a moment. It hit her then that there were no more wishes and nothing left to imagine. Except forever, maybe.

Not giving Rachel enough time to question her pause, Quinn doubled her efforts and brought her mouth back to Rachel's. There were so many things she wanted to say, things she wanted to tell the woman below her. So much she needed Rachel to know. Instead, she decided to show her. Reaching her hand down and pushing past lace, Quinn watched Rachel's eyes snap open and meet her gaze. The sight of those brown eyes taken over by blown pupils almost finished her off.

Getting a hold of herself, she put her hand to use and watched Rachel's back arch as she slid two fingers inside.

It could've been days later, though it was really only a few hours, that the two found themselves cuddled beneath the blanket. Only moments ago Rachel had thanked whatever forces were out there that her show was over, voice hoarse.

With her head now resting on Quinn's shoulder, she was reminded of college. It was odd, remembering how close they'd been, yet how far away they were at the same time.

"Quinn?" she asked quietly, wondering if the blonde was still awake.

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you changed the ending."

* * *

**I can't say I'm proud of this. I'd written most of it over a month ago and just couldn't finish it. However, better a rushed ending than no ending at all... right? ****I don't even know at this point. I've never suffered from such severe writer's block. Sorry I suck**


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